Hello friends and welcome to the Personal Development Podcast without clichés. Today we are going to have a deep and particularly practical episode about self-care, about my true method, how I really, really, really work to make changes, to break emotions, to release past residues, to do deep and meaningful work on all sorts of deep things in my life, with the intention that of course, you can also take this method and apply it in your own life and do amazing and magical processes with yourselves, of course.

Not everyone who listens to this episode will adopt this method and use it. Perhaps some of you will simply be interested in knowing how I do it, or for any other reason. If you are interested in hearing this episode, it will be deep and practical. So first of all, let's talk for a moment about this topic of self-care or self-work or any related topic. The first thing to realize and pay attention to is that I am going to say something that may be a bit difficult, but you really need to believe me when I say this in a non-judgmental way, simply from reflection.

I have been honest with many people I have worked with, and most of them have no clue how to take care of themselves, no idea how to do self-work, change things internally, or organize their internal mess. Some people know how to maybe distract their minds so that they will take care of what is called self-care, which means not knowing how to buy themselves ice cream, talk to a good friend, or do something like that, which diverts attention and makes us feel better for a moment. But most people don't really know how to do something a little more.

Deep inside, that's why many times we are recommended, and by the way, I also recommend when we have some difficulty with another person that we encounter. Many people have the tendency to come and say to him, You are too much like this, you are too aggressive, you are too sensitive. Every time we argue, you immediately go to sleep. Every time we argue, you shut down. Every time we argue, you get angry. I ask you for something, and you act like this. I help you with this. You do this as if to give people around us distinctions. By the way, even if it's in a relationship, even if it's.

With parents, whether it's with children or at work, every time you have too many tasks, you get confused. Every time you don't know, you have work pressure, you start making all kinds of mistakes, things like that we tell people we're diagnosing them. And then many times we encounter absolute resistance, right, or in the case that the person in front of us is more open and willing to listen, we will talk about these cases because when we talk about self-care, I want to believe.

If you are the one listening to me, he is open and wants to make a change and wants to go through a process, so of course, you are not those who reveal, I'm not saying that we are never defensive in our lives. Sometimes I am sure I am defensive sometimes when I receive criticism, even though I am very sensitive to it, for sure it happens sometimes, but we will say, Wow, interesting, I will work on it, or maybe even if we hear the same criticism a few times, we will say, Okay, I get it, people have told me that, and I will work on it. Now, most people, when they say about

Something, I will work on it or I am working on it, and it may be a bit difficult to say, but please understand that I am saying this without judgment. They just do nothing with it. A person says it's hard for me with decision-making, and I am working on it. What does it mean that he is working on it? In the extreme case of a person with a lot of awareness and a lot of willpower, he will try to make better, smaller decisions. He will try to do something, but there won't be much power in this attempt, much strength, because he doesn't really have the tool to do it if a person gets upset every time.

Oh, oh, oh, offended or upset, enters some emotional loop in a certain situation. He will try to work on it. What exactly will he do? He will try the next time he feels it to put the feeling aside. Of course, many times it didn't succeed, so I understood that in fact, for many people, including coaches, therapists, professionals, and others who know how to even go through processes with others, there are many who do not have the ability, tools, or knowledge of how to do these processes with themselves or similar processes with themselves. And this is a tool that is.

Oh, oh, oh, offended or upset, enters some emotional loop in a certain situation. He will try to work on it. What exactly will he do? He will try the next time he feels it to put the feeling aside. Of course, many times it didn't succeed, so I understood that in fact, for many people, including coaches, therapists, professionals, and others who know how to even go through processes with others, there are many who do not have the ability, tools, or knowledge of how to do these processes with themselves or similar processes with themselves. And this is a tool that is.

Having a great value, yes. Not only that you can save a lot of money that might go to a psychologist, psychiatrist, or to an NLP therapist you work with. Oh, because I still have value to an outsider and we will talk about it later. But many times things end even in front of a therapist or a coach. It is difficult for me to cope. There is the issue of accessibility, there is the issue of simple deepening of self-awareness. There are many benefits to undergoing treatment alone. What happened is that two weeks ago, I studied in an NLP course as part of a combined course of practitioner and master to certify masters in.

In one of the lessons on NLP, we talked about one of the deep tools in the world of NLP called working with parts. We won't get into it now, maybe a bit later in the chapter. I had a lot of time in the lesson. They understood very quickly. It was a very strong class, and I had a lot of time in the lesson. I told them that this tool of working with parts is also the tool I use myself when I do self-treatment, when I do self-work on deep issues related to me and my beliefs. This is the tool I work with, and then they understood very quickly.

We got curious and they started asking me a lot of questions about how I do it, how it happens, how it works, and I really answered them a lot, a lot, a lot of answers. I want to share these answers with you in this episode. Towards the end of the episode, I will also give you all the technical details, the practice of where I sit, how I do it, all the most technical things. But first of all, I want you to focus on the essence. When they wanted to understand how it looks exactly, what I did was something I really don't know how I had the courage at that moment to do it.

But I took an issue that I currently have in mind, that at that moment is saying right now, not at that moment I had something in mind that doesn't work, something that hurts me, something that is unpleasant to me, something that is not complete, not something whole, you know, like all those Cinderella stories. I used to be vulnerable, and now I'm a powerhouse. It's not really bothering me now, and I just took 10 minutes, a quarter of an hour, or something like that, for self-care. I took markers on the board, and like I would do on a piece of paper in regular self-care, I will just do it on the board, and while doing that, I read it.

It's very rare that this is something that is not usually done, but in order for the whole class to hear, and at the end of those 10 minutes, people who were walking from the board to the classroom, there were many people with tears. Now, I was very focused, almost had tears myself, and I was very much in the strong emotion that I had there, which was very negative at first. Then, it kind of released, and there was a mix of emotions, and I didn't even notice that I had the classroom here. When he turned me around, I saw a lot of guys crying, and it seemed like in the end, everyone applauded me, which I don't know if it touched me instead because it

Because it wasn't about teaching them something like that they understood that I was very very open and exposed and vulnerable to them. And that's what I want a bit to teach you to do again, not towards people of course, but alone at home. By the way, this exercise, the process I did in class, even with them actually yielded results, and I will tell you about it towards the end of the chapter. So first of all, a few minor clarifications, I didn't find this method completely from scratch. Okay, it's based as I said on the idea of working with parts in NLP. It's something that exists in such variations.

And others in a gentle and in CBT and BIS. So, it's something I didn't find, but I developed it for my needs and my work method. Again, it may be that other people are doing it. I guess hundreds of thousands of people, tens of thousands of people are doing it this way, but I don't know who's doing it this way. I simply created it for myself. Beyond that, I think maybe it's not worth doing what I teach as I teach it now in this chapter if you have no experience, no tools, nothing, and you have some very heavy things because you can bring in.

You can very easily get to the corners, but if you have even a basic experience in coaching, training in CBT, or any of these things that will help you ask the right questions to guide the conversation a bit more accurately, then this tool is going to be really excellent. And yes, it takes courage to look at the white of the eye of the darkest and most flawed parts of our personality, the darkest and gloomiest parts of our past, in the person we are, the motivations and desires that are not so high in us. We call it the opposite of high desires.

Our values ​​and examining them and seeing that they are part of us, okay, and without it, then this thing is not very effective, it's reasonable, it's nice, it's great, maybe it can help in making decisions, but not super amazing. When we agree to do these things, it can not only help in decision-making, it can help in resolving conflicts that are deeply rooted. So let's take a moment to understand how this actually happens, okay? And what happens is that in practice, we find ourselves in all sorts of situations in life, and if we define them.

If there is no problem, then we just continue. If we don't have a challenge, difficulty, or problem, no matter what you call it, then we just keep going. So, we won't do self-treatment. When will we approach to do self-treatment or self-work? When we define that we have a problem. If we have a problem, it means that we have a desire at the same time. The desire to do one thing or act in one way or feel in one way, and at the same time the opposite desire.

For example, I don't know, I just went out a few minutes ago for a walk with my dog, and I felt like eating something healthy, but I also felt like eating ice cream. I had both of these desires at the same time. Now, if it's just once, maybe it's not a problem, but if it's a regular thing and a system that causes me weight problems and other issues, then I will call it a problem. And if every time I feel something, every time after a certain day, I escape to food, then I will define it as a problem. So when I

Defining this as a problem means that I have at the same time the desire to talk about one thing and the other. For example, if I want, I don't know, to get into a romantic relationship, then I have no problem, right? But if I want to get into a romantic relationship but I'm also afraid that if I enter into a romantic relationship, I will lose my freedom, then I have a desire and at the same time the opposite desire. I have one desire and at the same time a conflicting desire, and what happens to us many times in our minds is that we conduct internal debates in a very superficial way. If we look for a second at the political situation in Israel or.

Worldwide, when it comes to arguments in general, between most people, it seems that in most levels of arguments, they are very, very superficial. One side presents their argument, the other side presents theirs, and they keep going back to those superficial points again and again. This is also what happens in our internal dialogue many times. The way to reach deeper agreements is through mediation or doing better in-depth work in various areas. So, those who have learned mediation or those who do better in-depth work in various areas know that the more correct, easier, and better way to reach agreements is to break down the arguments a bit.

The challenge is to go deeper and try to understand more broadly each other's perspective. In simple conversations, there is no room for that. Even in our minds, in our conversation, there is no room for it. In fact, at every moment that we are attached to one of our desires, automatically we try to balance it with the other desire, with the other side. For this, there is a metaphor in NLP that is very, very powerful called Parts Integration. And the concept basically says the following: It's not that I have one desire and at the same time I have another desire. It's like how can it be that the same person wants two things at the same time.

Opposite parallels, it's not logical, so I have a part. Yes, this is the metaphor. I have one part that wants A, and I have a part that wants B. I have a part that doesn't like feeling, doesn't know in a clear way, and its solution is this feeling of eating. And I have a part that wants to be healthy. Okay, that means it's not an internal conflict, it's not something messed up in me that I have conflicting desires. Rather, I have one part that wants this and another part that wants that, and this distinction is critical and essential for the method that I am going to teach you. So first of all, you need to understand.

This contemplation of mine, this metaphorical introspection, shows that we have separate parts within us. So, there is a part of me that wants to train, and a part that wants to stay at home, a part that wants to be in a relationship, and a part that doesn't want to be in a relationship, a part that really wants to succeed in my career, and a part that is afraid that if I succeed in my career, I don't know what will happen. There's a part that wants to stand up to the boss and demand a raise, and another part that says, Wow, I'm afraid they won't like me. Okay, and actually, many of our problems stem from all kinds of emotional issues.

Conflicts and games and situations between all these internal parts of ours. By the way, I'm not sure if we will talk about it in depth today. I see that the clock is already running fast. But some of these parts we call them our parts that contain our traumas, our unpleasant experiences, our memories from the past, and so on. Okay, by the way, if this topic really interests you, I would be happy if you write to me about it by email or WhatsApp or a message on Instagram, and maybe I will do a whole episode on types of parts.

How do I do this job, but right now, it's not the focus, so once I understand that I have these different parts, I need another understanding before I can start working. The next understanding is that all these parts are for my own good. Okay, many people feel like when they emotionally eat, they are harming themselves; when they escape relationships, they are harming themselves; when they don't demand the money they deserve, they are harming themselves. So, the foundation of our work is that all these parts just want to do us good.

And never do us harm. Now, I know it may be a bit complex and a big leap for some of you, so there is a series on YouTube called The Foundations of NLP. Within this series, there is an episode about the basic assumption that says every behavior has a positive intention. So, I suggest you watch it. There is an explanation of about 12 minutes, I don't remember exactly the length, but it delves much deeper into this topic with nuances, examples, and explanations. Also, maybe about the basic assumption that every behavior can be effective.

In a specific context, there are two chapters that can be very relevant to those who find it difficult to accept that all parts of them want what's best for them. So, once I understand that actually my emotional problems, my difficulties, my inner work that I need to do, it's not self-work with myself. It's not to judge myself, but to create some kind of more unified, coherent inner parliament. I actually understand that the inner work I have is a kind of leadership work. Yes, I need to become the leader of all these parts that control my soul, control my psyche, control.

In the emotions that control me in my body, I need to be their leader. Yes, whoever saw the book Inside Out by Disney, so there's this concept that different parts in the girl's head actually speak and have all sorts of dialogues between them. If you have never seen it, you can really watch it after the episode or do the episode now, a minute to see. Write down everything in your head, on YouTube, and see which small segment of a minute you don't need to watch the whole movie to understand the concept. And the moment I understand that I have all these parts, I understand that the dialogues.

Between them and the connection between these parts and the interaction between them is what determines the quality of my life, actually. So, suddenly, I have the ability to do very, very deep inner work. Now, all I have is better communication skills, and the more I know how to work with people in a better way. I think that most of those who listen to this podcast are people with high-level interpersonal skills. How do I know that the episodes about asking questions and influence and persuasion and all these topics and being authentic, all these things are the best episodes.

In the podcast, it seems to me that you have high-level personal abilities, and if not, listen to all these episodes in the podcast and become like them. But what I want to say here is very simple. When I look at these parts, it's as if each of them is a person on their own, and I understand that the problems I have in life are the conflicts between them, and that each of them ultimately wants good for me. I understand that my work is somewhat of a mediator's work, it's a bit of the work of a leader who needs to lead.

I place this part of the components into the positive place he wants to go to and to a place with fewer problems. Additionally, there is further understanding here the moment I understand that all this internal thing is based on communication and based on unity, I can understand why many of our behaviors are out of balance. Many of us will say yes, Galeni, I can understand that the part of me that wants to eat ice cream is just a cute part. Yes, he wants to eat ice cream, he wants me to enjoy it. So first of all, something small probably if you eat a lot.

Very large portions of ice cream so it's not just about being tasty, probably there's something deeper emotional there's also a whole episode in the podcast on the subject of emotional eating but let's say it's okay, you have the part you want but I can eat crazy amounts of ice cream, this part is not balanced and what I suggest to you is to ask yourselves and I'll give you an answer in a second when do you push very very hard or when someone around you pushes you very very very hard and I'll ask you a simple question, have you ever burst out

To go to someone and tell him the same thing again and again and again and again and again and again and again, and in the end, it's going up in flames, okay, and almost everyone it happened to, and if it didn't happen that you did it, then it happened that it was done to you. The reason it happens is that when it needs to happen, there must be two prerequisites. The first prerequisite is that we care very much about the person in front of us. If we don't care about the person in front of us, no matter what, we won't reach this situation. We will just mind our own business, okay? But the moment I care very much about the son.

A person who is close to me, and I feel that I have a very, very, very important message to convey to him, and he is not listening to me, okay, so what happens is that I will say the same thing again and again and again and again many times. This happens, for example, with parents and their children, with children and their parents, with couples, and sometimes even at work. But generally, in more intimate relationships, we feel the need to repeat the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. Why do we do this? Because we care about it, because this relationship is important to us.

But we feel that our message is not getting through, that he is not listening to us. So many times, the reason we can't change things ourselves, wow, it's going to be a big leap, oh, many of the main and major reasons we can't change things ourselves is that the parts responsible for the behaviors we don't like feel that they are not being listened to, so they continue the behavior. I will give a few examples, and then it will be much more reasonable, okay? Let's say I have the part responsible for eating ice cream when I'm sad, so if now, let's say I had a tough day.

At work, I have the part that not only wants it to be tasty and sweet, but wants to sweeten my day after a hard day that feels all day doesn't know me enough and I had to do a lot of things that I didn't feel like doing and it was hard for me. And now I want to pamper a little, to relax a little, to have fun. Okay, so the purpose of ice cream is to create some emotional satisfaction. So, I come and say, No, you won't eat.

Ice cream is not for you. It will ruin your health. Why do you keep doing it? What are we taking? We are fulfilling needs, part of us. Yes, it's a human who just wants to relax a bit, rest, feel good about himself, pamper himself. And we tell him how wrong he is. Okay, what will happen? Maybe at that moment, we'll say that at that moment, he restrained himself and he won't do this action. What will happen then? He will need the ice cream even more. So, either something else, then the same thing. For example, if I, let's say,

I have a part of me that wants to be in a relationship, and there's a part of me that says no, as if I want my freedom. I want to be able to do the things that are important to me. So, if I try to enter a relationship forcefully without deeply understanding what's happening there, what will happen? I will enter a relationship, and then I will manifest all sorts of more extreme behaviors, seeking freedom, whether it's through arguments, creating crises in the relationship, or escaping, closing off, separating, WhatsApping millions and millions of patterns that can be within this thing.

The problem is actually, and this is the big problem here, that many times we think these parts are not for our benefit, so we try to argue with them because we don't understand that it's a part. We look at it as if it's a part of who I am, and then what happens is that we really, really don't understand them. We don't understand their needs, and we try to move forward anyway. And then this behavioral, okay, this behavioral becomes worse. You become more severe. People feel, I have no freedom in my relationship. It's not good.

I bring children, okay, I have even less freedom. I bring another child, okay, I have no freedom. Okay, now I am getting divorced, even less freedom. What will I do and so on, and this happens again in many, many areas. I gave the example of relationships, the example of food, I can also give an example from work. I think that a person who wants to start a business or do a specific project, but there is a part here that is afraid of failure, afraid of disappointment, afraid of making mistakes. Okay, and if I just try to act, to act, to act, to act, to act without understanding what, what, what.

What's going on there? What's happening there in the depth? I will give you the practice, how to do it. I will give you the practice, how to do it. I will give you the practice, how to do it. I will give you the practice, how to do it. I will give you the practice, how to do it. I will give you the practice, how to do it. I will give you the practice, how to do it. I will give you the practice, how to do it. I will give you the practice, how to do it. I will give you the practice, how to do it. I will give you the practice, how to do it. I will give you the practice, how to do it. I will give you the practice, how to do it. I will give you the practice, how to do it. I will give you the practice, how to do it. I will give you the practice, how to do it. I will give you the practice, how to do it. I will give you the practice, how to do it. I will give you the practice, how to do it. I will give you the practice, how to do it. I will give you the practice, how to do it. I will give you the practice, how to do it. I will give you the practice, how to do it. I will give you the practice, how to do

Listening, and then there is another thing that happens, that sometimes all of us, each one of us, has emotional needs. Each one of us has slightly different emotional needs, maybe again a whole chapter on its own, but all of us have certain emotional needs, and sometimes certain parts of us come to demand a certain emotional need. Like I said before, the need to feel free, the need to feel good about oneself, the need to pamper oneself, the need to be comforted, the need, doesn't matter which need. And if I lack this need in other places, then also

If I manage to cancel this part that fights for freedom, what will happen is that over time I will just become more and more and more and more exhausted. Now, if you practice the method that I am going to give you now, and it's not easy, but I believe you can do it, then you will reach a much deeper level of awareness of what's happening there. You will have much more creative solutions, and it will also open the door to even deeper work. So, if it's with you, maybe we'll do another episode, okay, because I can already see that we're running out of time. So, how am I...

Working practically, okay, what's the style of work? So, the way I like to do it is by taking a number of items in different colors. For example, you do it with an iPad, with the iPad's pen, and then endless colors. But sometimes, I just take a pen, like red, blue, black, let's say that's enough. And many pages, I take many pages or a notebook, and then I just take the feeling that I start with. In general, any behavior I don't like, let's say I ate too much ice cream, I don't know, in my case, it's not a problem for me, I can eat too many ice creams, but there are times when I can.

Too many deviations, okay, so there is the part where I eat cookies or the part that I saw that a specific project was rejected at work, which is what I worked with them, what was developed at work in another class, I will tell you what happened there, or a part that behaves less well with children or in a relationship or with my mom or anything else, so I start with this part and I give it a color, let's say red or blue or black, and I initially write like this, let's say eating ice cream, then I write the name, and then I simply write I connect emotionally, I connect.

From this moment, right now, while I really want to eat the cake, he really wants to eat the cookie, he really wants to scrap the project, throw it in the trash, and not promote it. He wants to pour it on my mom, or stay silent in front of my wife, or argue with her, or I don't know what. While I'm on the phone with my kids, everything is fine. So, I start from this part, and then I start writing all the thoughts, all the ideas, and all the things I have, but only from this part. Okay, I'm not starting dialogues now, I start to say this and that as well.

Many people who try to do intuitive writing find it to be an amazing and crazy tool, creating a lot of mess within the writing. So, this is a way to organize intuitive writing. I simply write in an intuitive way everything that this part thinks, everything that this part feels, all its reasons. Now, the moment we delve deeper, those who have some tools, experience, or knowledge in the world of coaching or therapy or other tools, just ask questions. Even salespeople, I think, can do this well.

We know, it's like I'm asking the part, like I'm interviewing him, like I'm questioning him to truly understand what is important to him, what he really wants, like in sales where you do needs clarification questioning. I clarify the needs of the part, I really connect with him, trying to understand what is important to him, and I write, write, write, write, write, write until I feel some sort of ease, some emotional relief. This means I have reached some kind of expression of writing. What I'm doing at that moment is putting the pen in this color, I open with another color, and I start with another part.

One part that we will say wants me to eat healthily, the part that cares about health or whatever, and I start just doing exactly the same action again with this part. The important thing here is that I don't do it for 10 seconds, 10 seconds, 10 seconds, honestly, every second passes because then what will happen is that a real conflict will arise between the parts, just as I heard before in politics and such, a very, very superficial debate. I give each of them three minutes, five minutes, depending on the skill, yes, but now I can sometimes give more. At first, I was less patient because it was hard, and I would just let him write, and I give.

To write, to write, to write everything he thinks, all the feelings. I enrich it, I bring his needs and everything, and then I go back if needed several times on each one of them. I take the third pen, this is the minimum. The third pen is the higher me, the wise wave, the knowledgeable wave, the leading wave. Yes, and from this, I start a reconciliation process. I start asking them, Okay, so what's important to you is this, and what you want is that, so maybe we'll do it this way. I start looking for not necessarily solutions, sometimes.

It's also solutions that sometimes provide an answer. Sometimes it's simply an emotional connection. Sometimes it's the ability to find ways to meet the emotional needs of all parts in a different way. And I just go through this process again and again in an intuitive way. I don't know exactly how many times I will go to this part, how many times I will go to that part. It depends on the situation, it depends on what I'm working on. Okay, and one of the crazy things that happen when doing this, and years of practice in this over time, by the way, those who have been to my seminars.

A trans person who does meditations or things like that, so doing it in a slightly meditative state works even better. But one of the things that really happen is that we truly allow ourselves to see and feel deeply. How can we really believe in this subject of limiting beliefs and empowering beliefs? This is a topic that many people, I think, are exposed to today. It's not something that no one knows what it is, so different parts of us believe completely different things. OK, so let's say, for example, when I was doing it.

I did this self-treatment in class in front of everyone, so I sat at some point and realized that I have some business project, a company that I'm building, a technological company. As a child, I was very connected to computers, I even did a semester and a half in a technical course. I don't want to program all day, within the framework of this excellence program, even though I've written quite a bit of code in my life. But I moved to the field of psychology, it interests me more, captivates me, and I thought I could do cooler things here.

And more importantly, I suddenly realized that I am not operating in this software project with the same intensity, the same energy, with the same abilities as I do in my other projects at work. I really started in a class with this part that rejects entering the technology project, and thoughts and beliefs like, You're not smart enough, you're not good enough, so far you've dealt with an easier field, now you're going into a more competitive field, people there will be warmer, more assertive, more powerful, you will not succeed, you.

Yitzhak accuses you, you will prove to everyone that all the successes so far have just been a farce and so on and so forth, as we delved deeper, things started to get dark, this part talks about me and talks about myself, things that touch me and hurt me, now I put it on the board and I tell them this while I feel a bit of relief, I release the marker, switch to the black or red marker, and start writing the second part because I want to do this project.

You know, if there wasn't a part that wants to do this project, it wouldn't be a problem, I just wouldn't do the project. So I'm starting to write that I do believe in myself and I know I can, and I've done much harder things, and I have all the abilities, and then I started to progress towards what's called connection and unity. I haven't done everything with them, but I did it quite a bit of time, and really the next day suddenly things started to flow. Suddenly I found three more important calls that I can make to advance this business, suddenly.

I found someone else who can suddenly help me, I made significant progress against some factor that was stuck, and so on and so forth, and suddenly, wow, this thing works because concerns were heard, solutions were found, and some real internal change was created because it was not created from plaster, it was not created from jumping on myself or forcing myself to something, or to indulge myself in something, or to be aggressive towards myself, but it was created from self-understanding and true inner leadership. Okay, now in the course of life.

I had to do it on many things, on tough decisions, painful decisions, on all sorts of emotional crises that I came out of them like that and so on, and I really recommend you to play with this thing, okay, take it if you are inexperienced and haven't done anything like this in your life, then maybe start with something easier, start with some small decision you have in your life, start with some specific dilemma you have between two things, even take maybe as a practice and try something like I don't know whether to eat lunch like this or like that.

To call a friend like this or another friend as if very simple things to practice this skill. Whoever has more skills as a coach, therapist, leader, or salesperson, someone who is a pro at asking questions and knows how to promote Shai's ideas well, or if you've heard many of my episodes about asking questions, then feel free to delve into deeper and deeper and deeper things. Of course, if there are super deep things that come up, it's not embarrassing to ask for help. Many times in these conversations with myself in this internal work, I've reached.

There were points where I felt that doing this alone would not be fun and it would not be pleasant. I don't want to say it's impossible; I want to say it's much harder. I turned to other people, sought help, sought training, sought treatment, adjusted according to the situation, according to what's there. I turned to friends, I turned to this. It really depends on the situation, but this is a critical issue. Now, in conclusion, I promised you that I would talk to you about the essence of this, the essence of it is super important, and the environment around it is super important now.

There are several things that are important to have in the environment for this to really work. First of all, anyone who is a coach or a therapist knows, I will tell you secrets of a clinic that after tough sessions, after deep and painful sessions, there are many cancellations. What does it mean, cancellations? It means a person says, Oh, I can't come this week, oh, I can't come right now, oh, at the last moment I have a wedding, yes, oh, I'm sick. And people don't show up for treatment a week later. This happens a lot, okay, not all the time of course, but it happens quite a bit. And the reason for this is truly because.

When we arrive at a specific place and negative emotions arise, we automatically try to distance ourselves from it and avoid it. Therefore, many times, in everything related to self-care, we also try to avoid it. So first of all, one of the important things is really, really, really, really putting this thing in my schedule. Maybe even committing to another person, saying, I, usually, tell my wife, Liel, 'Liel, today at this and that hour, I'm going to do self-care. If I don't, know that I'm escaping and I'm afraid of it. Start doing it, help me. So, I really use it.

Within frameworks in order to make this thing happen really like if I was setting with a therapist or if I was setting with someone who knows nothing else then I really relate to times that in a very very serious way. Another very very important thing is to define how long this thing is going to be, my recommendation is especially if you are at the beginning of the road, short is good. 10 minutes, a quarter of an hour, 20 minutes, is enough. I also don't do two hours today, or an hour and a half, very rare, very rare, very rare, only if I have something that I really want to explore or something else, but usually half an hour, 40 minutes, is much more than enough because treatment.

Self is much faster than treatment with a therapist because a therapist needs to understand you. He asks you clarification questions, communication is slower in treatment. Self-treatment happens much faster. In 40 minutes of self-treatment, you can achieve more depth than an hour and a half or two hours of treatment. If you treat yourself again, if you are skilled at it, okay, so define for yourself how much time. Do not be afraid of short times. Third thing, your environment, the environment you are in, needs to allow for this intimacy. If you are in a place where you are.

Feeling uncomfortable there, feeling uncomfortable expressing emotions, feeling uncomfortable with anything like that, so it won't work well for you, okay? I like to do it sometimes in nature; I like to do it sometimes in one of the rooms in the house that is more secluded from the center of the house. There are all kinds of places that I like to do it, but overall, it's something that I really, really care about the environment that I am in. I did it once at the Tel Aviv Port. I don't have a problem with, let's say, crying in the middle of a place like that, but if you do, then be in a more closed place.

And safeguarding and protecting and the last thing, I would especially keep these pages to myself at first, to throw them away at the end of the process. I know it's a bit strange because the text that's there will be strong as if theoretically you have the option to read it later, it's amazing. But what will happen is that the moment you know you have the option to read it later, it will filter out some of the writing. Once you get used to it and finish the process, you simply read it and throw it away, really read it to shreds.

And throw it in the trash. Over time, it will open up more and more freedom for you. You will feel more relaxed, more confident, it will be easier for you, even with the dark and black parts within you. So, you can stop throwing and start writing in notebooks. I have a few complete notebooks like that. I don't get into them much, but when I do, I always find gold. So dear friends, I hope you will take this thing, implement it, practice it, work with it. It will give you a lot. Those who truly persist in it will benefit.

If this raises questions for you, feel free to simply send me a few messages on WhatsApp. I also ask a lot of questions, not just on Instagram; I also ask a lot of questions and answers on Instagram stories. So, you can just send it to me there, and I will be happy to answer. I know it's a big, important, and central topic. I hope it's covered reasonably and well. If there are other deep and big things you want to maybe do another episode in the podcast, I love you all very much, hoping.

Wishing you success in performing amazing and magical processes with yourselves. Lots and lots of success, and we'll see you in the next episode.

תכלס: השיטה שלי לטיפול עצמי! איך לעשות שינוי פנימי בעצמך? | פרק 70

תכלס: השיטה שלי לטיפול עצמי! איך לעשות שינוי פנימי בעצמך? | פרק 70

Scripts