What's up, everybody? This is The Act Man, and do you smell that? Oh, oh, that's rancid!

What is that foul, putrid stench? Did a loomed dung eater just break into my house? No, that smell is coming from my

computer, because I just got done playing three hours of Dragon Age: The Veilguard. No, get on [ __ ] up now! I have

been waiting many years for BioWare to make a return to form. Sadly, the only thing Dragon Age is going to return to

is the dirt, thanks to this. That's why we recruited her. Um, so I'm nonbinary, actually. TSH

uses them for themselves. Now, it's been a decade since Inquisition won Game of the Year in 2014, but after a

10-year hiatus, you'd expect some pretty substantial improvements; some fun, entertaining dialogue that sounds like

it was written by a real human being. Broken chains, selfless freeing of slaves... soldiers hate slavery. God, I just hate slavery so, so

much! If I could go back in time and undo slavery, I would. I hate it! Veilguard is the burnt

stake of RPGs; as if all the tasty, juicy BioWare goodness has been cooked out of the company. It's like they forgot their

own recipe! Whatever semblance of Dragon Age there remained in Inquisition, it's all sucked out here. It has lost all

darkness, grit, realism, and intensity it once had. I'm not exaggerating when I say that between 2003 and 2011, BioWare was

top of their class; they were best-in-slot for the RPG genre: Knights of the Old Republic, Mass Effect, Dragon Age – the big

three. It's funny that with the first Dragon Age, BioWare had actually taken inspiration from the Baldur's Gate series,

and how ironic it is that BioWare would turn their back on this successful and proven style of RPG. And now it's Larian

who have picked up the torch and are running with it. I mean, wow, can you even believe it? That's the third RPG in this

style that's won Game of the Year. It's almost like there might be something to this style of game. Baldur's Gate 3 should

have been a wake-up call, but ever since Dragon Age 2, BioWare has slowly but surely turned their back on everything

people loved about their games, and they have embraced mediocrity with open arms. Now again, that's just my opinion; if

you're having fun with the game, don't let me or anyone else stop you. Me, on the other hand, I cannot stand playing Dragon

Age: The Veilguard. To be honest, I knew I wasn't going to like Veilguard when I

saw the gameplay showcase, but man, sometimes that music kicks in and I think, well, maybe, maybe they'll come back. Dragon Age

Origins was so [ __ ] [ __ ] good, man. No cap. Origins is BioWare's best game; there

I said it. Yeah, fight me in the comments. The reason I tried out Veilguard is because I'm I'm still chasing the dragon.

Hang on, I almost caught the dragon! You don't ever catch the dragon, dad. Literally the one on the front cover. So

today I'm going to give you all a crash course on how to turn me off of your RPG

and never play it again. This instructional training video will teach you how to destroy a franchise. Step one:

promote your fantasy RPG like it's a [ __ ] hero shooter. You know, there will be dragons,

cringe, right? Oh, the cringe! The oh wow, that's Lucius... Lucas? But he's the Mage

killer! Waara, the Veil Jumper. How cool! I love these characters already, dude. Real talk: why was this revealed trailer shoving

characters down my throat can be heroes. What the [__] who thought to brand a Dragon Age game like this? You

want to see branding? Boom! Veilguard gave the wrong impression right when it was shown. People didn't react too positively to it,

and I don't blame them. Showing the names and titles of every companion on screen is a cheap, ineffective tactic to try and

create a connection between the audience and the characters. If you can't make them interesting through, you know, good

writing, you just throw their names on screen, kill any and all intrigue about what lies in store for the player and

who they might be able to recruit onto their team. Complaining about the marketing might be a minor point, sure,

but this is the first impression; it matters a lot. And instead of trying to sell me on this immense, incredible

fantasy world that I can explore, I'm being sold characters I haven't even met yet. For more information on how to

maintain my interest, consult this trailer for Origins. You see how they portray the cast through their actions, facial

expressions, combat style, and dialogue, and also how they work together as a team. Crazy, right? It's like my mind was

able to gather information about their personalities. Hey, this goth-looking woman with a staff, I think she

might be a witch. I can't tell because my eyeballs don't work, and neither does my

brain. This trailer is cool; it has a unique style, it's entertaining, and it's badass. The righteous stand before the

darkness, and the Maker shall guide their [Music] hand. Clearly, Veilguard missed the mark in its marketing; it came across like

Disney had just bought out BioWare. These trailers were heavily disliked, probably because they showed a version of Dragon

Dragon Age that bears no resemblance to its bloody, violent past. Like they've taken all the edge out of Dragon Age. It's gone

soft. Like, dude, they even cut out this neck snap. Like, why are you trying to hide this in editing? No neck snapping!

Guys, it's... it's too controversial, okay? No, no, no, no. Take the blood out; that's too

too graphic. Wouldn't want to offend anybody. Meanwhile, now, marketing isn't everything, but you can learn a lot about a

creator's intentions, what impression they want to leave on you, how they want to sell you something and earn your

hard-earned money. For Origins, they were selling you a brutal, violent medieval world. For Veilguard, they're selling you

Dragon Age, but it's rated E for everyone. Certainly doesn't help that they changed the original title from Dreadwolf to

the Veilguard. But the marketing did absolutely no favors for this game, and the gameplay showcase confirmed my

suspicions that this wouldn't be a return to form; it would be an even further jump away from it by trying to

make something that's safe and appeals to everyone. You end up appealing to no one by making the inoffensive; you end up

with the uninteresting. When you shave off all the edges, everything is without form. Step number two on how to ruin a

franchise: butcher the art style. Hey, uh, quick question: what is this? What the [__] is this? This is a darkspawn?

Are you serious? Somehow you made them even more cartoony and stupid-looking than Dragon Age 2. This is what I'm talking about. See

how much of the identity and style of this series they've lost? The darkspawn in Origins were a force-of-nature type

villain; evil creatures birthed by terrible magic. Their blood is poison, as they are poison to the world, bringing

a literal blight to the land, but now in Veilguard, what about darkspawn? Yeah, what about darkspawn?

This gives off *Call of Duty: Vanguard* vibes; we're fighting in World War II. I'm having a great time. What about you guys?

What about Nazis? I shoot Nazis, they die. What about darkspawn? It's like the darkspawn are an afterthought; they're just

treated as a joke, while they look like one too. Not to mention what they've done with the Qunari. To be fair, they don't

look the same in any game, but like, come on! What is this? There's a lot I hate about *Dragon Age 2*, but man, they nailed

the look of the Qunari. Now they look weak, soft, fragile. Oh, and they're emotionally susceptible and vulnerable.

Where's my boy Sten? I need some tough manliness in here! It seems like every race has been homogenized to be as

palatable and safe for work as possible. When you establish unique, recognizable races in your fantasy universe, it's

probably best to keep their art style consistent, so we're not left wondering why everything looks so

[...] weird. Same thing with the demons, man. This is just pitiful. That's a Pride

demon right there. In *Origins*, these were gnarly creatures that resided in the mystical realm called the Fade. It was a

dreamscape where these creatures sat and waited, and they were capable of all sorts of psychological torture and human

possession. There's like three different children in *Origins* that get possessed by a demon, and you can kill all of them.

You can kill children in *Origins*. By making the darkspawn and the demons look so generic and silly and cartoonish,

it takes away from my ability to take them seriously as a threat, as if BioWare is intentionally trying to diffuse any

and all the tension this game could have had. And for a world that's on the brink of destruction, it sure seems like

everyone's having an okay time. I guess the one area I can give Veilguard props in is that the game does look phenomenal.

The locations are beautifully detailed and diverse, but we have the same problem as Concord: you can't dump your

entire budget into graphical fidelity and assume I'm going to like looking at your game. Style trumps graphics every

single time. Just look at Jet Set Radio Future. Origins may have had a bombastic, action-packed trailer, but once you

arrived at the main menu, it was much more somber and serious. The point I'm trying to make is when I look at Veil

guard, I can't find any unique way to describe it; it is just purely generic. Step number three: fail to reconnect with

your audience. Now, keep in mind it's been 10 years since Inquisition. Most people are going to be out of the loop on

everything Dragon Age related, so Veilguard has to carefully and methodically reel players and fans back into the fold,

remind them what they love about these games, this series, and this universe, and what the world is all about. Nah, screw

all that. Welcome to the world of Dragon Age. Are you ready to save the world? What? No, the game just started. Nice. Remember

that guy, Solas? Well, hey, he summoned a bunch of demons; you've got to stop him right now. Are you ready to save the

world? It's been five minutes since you finished making your character. D-hold on, where am I? Can I explore this area? Do I

have an origin story? How did I meet up with my companions? What the heck happened to Varric? The pacing in Veil

guard is atrocious. I could tell something was wrong right off the bat. BioWare makes no attempt at world

building before shoving you straight into it. To me, this is RPG kryptonite; rushing the player into a setting and

universe they know almost nothing about, or are unfamiliar with, and then expecting that player to care about

saving this world. This is why TV shows have episodic recaps, because people have short-term memory and they need to

be reminded of what happened a week ago, let alone ten years. My immersion

wasn't broken; it was never established. The game failed to connect with me because, right from the start, I had no

end of questions. Guardian. Our story begins where all great stories begin: with the seediest bar in town. It's the

seediest bar in town, and yet it doesn't have a name, nor does the person who owns it. Who are these people I'm fighting? Why

who's Nevallas? What's she doing here? How did she get lost? How did our team even form? Did everybody link up to fight

this? If so, why are we all in separate places and not together as a team? What's up with this floating city? Why does it

shine a light on some random lady? Like, what? What am I supposed to feel? Did... what did she do? But I didn't do anything.

How To Destroy A Franchise - Dragon Age Veilguard

Scripts