- Y'all ever notice that when YouTube is talking about becoming a man, they go straight to talking about having a job, getting your own car and paying your own bills. That's basic like Sexyy Red's ghostwriter.

That's the talk of an obedient economic slave with limited life experiences. You heard me? And I promise you this ain't one of them "Man Up" speeches about pushing through, being strong and moving out your mama's house.

This is a brutal breakdown on how being out of touch with your voids prevents you from becoming a real man, a respected man, a free man with a life of purpose and a legacy that no one can take from you.

You heard me? When I didn't know better, I let these (beep) trick me into thinking chasing the bag would make me a man and solve all my problems. Instead, that set me up for a life of silent suffering

because I quickly learned there wasn't nothing fulfilling about working just to pay bills. You heard me? I got to wondering, What was the point of my whole life? What is my purpose on this planet? And eventually I just stopped giving a (beep).

I was just out there drifting, watching (beep) on Reddit, playing video games, drinking, smoking, chasing pussy, punching in, punching out, and growing more insecure as my social life took a nose dive. I went from dating women

I went from meeting women at cookouts to smashing women I met online to getting high with women I met behind a dumpster. Took a good minute, but I finally figured out that buying things and paying my bills would never fill my deepest voids.

Now, you might be thinking, what voids? (beep) You gonna get a silver plate button, and that's most of y'all's (beep) problem. I don't care if you're 20, 30, 40, 50, 60,

if you cannot identify the root of your voids, you cannot mature into manhood and you're probably a man-child. So what is manhood? Manhood is when your self-awareness leads you to living an unwavering life of purpose.

That life of purpose becomes your higher calling. If you wonder where I'm at, man, I'm up there in age. So I try to get my steps in every day 'cause it helps my bowel movements. Now, let's talk about what manhood is not,

smashing a bunch of women, bullying folks, men, women, or children. Short-term thinking, neglecting your offspring, having no plan. In fact, a lot of the things on that list is what happens in the seasons of being a boy.

Y'all wanna know what real men are doing right now? They are actively working on the change they wish to see in the world, even if that means skipping a couple meals and not getting home until after midnight. Sounds simple enough, but why are so few doing it?

Because they come from a
generation of mothers who don't know the root of their voids. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down, TJ, what the heck is a void?

A void is the feeling of
being lost, disconnected, discouraged, and confused about your life. And even still, you experience anger, loneliness, and frustration. You might wanna do better, but you have no direction,
no drive to become

who you think you want to be. That's your void and a man's job is to know the root of his void. I know I'm spitting game,
but go ahead and click out 'cause you can't get over my big teeth.

So how can you be certain of, for sure, that you have a void and how do you get to the root of it? If you have people-pleasing tendencies, difficulty expressing your emotions. If you withdraw or isolate from social
situations, do you self-sabotage?

Do you often feel rejected? Do you frequently experience self-doubt or what they call imposter syndrome? I'm sorry to tell you, but that all stems from your deepest voids. Hey man, (beep) pulling punches.

It's a bunch of grown-ass
children having children repeating cycles they ain't even aware of. That's because these people
never matured into adults. They never matured into manhood because they were oblivious to their voids.

And where do voids come from? In 99% of cases, your voids were formed
in your early childhood, sometimes further back
than you can remember. I'm one of those dudes
with a messy upbringing. My parents shouldn't have had kids

and that ain't my words, my
mama says that to this day. So you know what me and my
sister's childhood was like? Only thing sober in our
house was the noodles and ain't nobody know how to cook 'em. 

So most of the time, me and my
sister starved. You heard me? That type of neglect chipped
away at my self-image, and made me resentful as (beep). I so badly wanted to prove that I was worth everything
that my parents never gave me, 

just trying to convince myself that I was worthy of unconditional love. But it was too late; the programming had already baked
in like indica edibles. Deep down inside I
believed I wasn't enough. No matter how confident I pretended to be, 

my internal voice spoke to
me just like my mama did. And my confidence abandoned
me, same way my daddy did. That's where my voids stemmed
from. But coming to terms with these facts is how I became a man. 

One of the advantages of being
a 55-year-old YouTuber is I have experiences. I didn't just come outta college with some ideas. Naw (beep) I came out the
gutter with an identity. You heard me? 

In just about every private
coaching session I do, it's surprising how many Millennial and Gen X men are oblivious
to their emotional void. They have no understanding of how their family dysfunction set them up for a life of failure.

It doesn't matter how rich or poor they are, these are usually the most
unfulfilled, unhappy people with the most drama in their lives. But here are the eight steps I use to help these grown children
grow into grown men.

One, I help them discover the most toxic and painful experiences
of their childhood. - [Crew Member] Two. - I help them understand the emotional limitations of their parents. - [Crew Member] Three. - I help them understand that the anger

and sadness they often feel stems from the injustices they
survived through childhood. - [Crew Member] Four. - I help them accept and forgive their parents for
their emotional shortcomings. - [Crew Members] Five.

- I show them how the dysfunction of their childhood results
in emotional triggers in their adult lives
that mess up their potential in love and life. Six, I teach them how to
identify their triggers before they get to acting like fools.

Seven, I guide them on the
path of mastering their void so they can use this deeper
understanding constructively to nurture themselves in ways they weren't nurtured as children. And by the time we get to number eight, it's a freakin' no-brainer.

(air whooshing) While I go drop off these kids, let me say this, if you want to help keep the Tijuana Jackson channel authentic and savage, just go to
dropoffthesekids.com. That's dropoffthesekids.com

to see all the ways you could support the Tijuana Jackson channel. Hell, I even got a Patreon page. And now would be a good time
to hit the like button. Sorry, for the interruption, number eight. I simply ask 'em, now that you
have a deeper understanding

of how your family dysfunction and upbringing affected you emotionally causing you to repeat toxic
cycles throughout your life, how would you feel about helping young men from similar backgrounds avoid
making the same mistakes? And the answer is almost always the same. Damn TJ, I think I just
found my life purpose.

And that's how you build
legacy. You heard me? That's where your drive and your belief in yourself stems from is getting these voids out of the way. And it's not like you
gonna hit some destination and then these voids are suddenly gone.

Nah dog, they're with you for life. But now you get to
manage your voids instead of letting your voids manage you. You hear me? Right after I get my steps in, I usually have to go and I ain't want to stop the live stream.

You heard me? But it's a lot of angry
lonely gurus out there trying to mentor folks, but they are not on the path
of mastering their void. And when you are unable
to master your voids, you lack self-control,

and as a result you try
to control everybody else. There's a great quote
from the book "The E Myth" and the quote was, "People
try to change the world so they don't have to change themselves." That's it, it's different, 

that's why you see a lot of gurus out there trying to get you to think like them, to
enable their flawed thinking. Nothing I'm talking about is theory. My passion and my compassion
stem from 55 years of my own mistakes and my own victories.

If you're ready to get on that path, go to donebeingabitch.com and
take my value assessment test. It's 50 questions that
will change your life. But if you're really trying to get a grasp of this manhood,  shit.

This is the video you need
to hop on right here, - Subscribe to my 
daddy's channel! BARZ!!!!

Why Young Men Can't Grow Up

Tijuana Jackson

물질적 성공(직업, 자동차, 청구서)에만 초점을 맞추는 남성성에 대한 일반적인 사회적 정의에 도전합니다.

이 좁은 정의는 더 넓은 삶의 경험이 부족한 '순종적인 경제 노예'라고 설명합니다.

자기 인식, 목적, 유산을 강조하는 남성성에 대한 다른 관점을 소개합니다.

목적 없이 물질적 부를 좇는 것에 대한 환멸에 대한 개인적인 일화를 공유합니다.

상실감, 단절감, 삶의 목적에 대한 혼란을 '공허함'이라는 개념으로 소개합니다.

인간다움이란 자기 인식에 기반한 확고한 목적의 삶을 사는 것이라고 정의합니다.

진정한 남자다움을 단기적 사고, 책임 방기, 계획 부족과 같은 행동과 대조합니다.

개인적인 희생을 감수하면서까지 긍정적인 변화를 위해 노력하는 진정한 남성의 행동을 강조합니다.

분노, 외로움, 좌절감, 방향성 결여 등 공허함의 특성을 확장합니다.

근본적인 공허함의 지표를 나열합니다: 사람을 기쁘게 하는 것, 감정 억압, 사회적 위축, 자기 방해, 거부감 및 자기 의심의 감정.

정서적 성숙의 부족으로 인해 여러 세대에 걸쳐 독성 주기가 반복되는 공백을 연결합니다.

공허함의 원인을 가족 기능 장애에서 비롯된 어린 시절의 경험으로 돌리는 경우가 많습니다.

방치에 대한 개인적인 이야기와 그것이 자아상과 분노에 미치는 영향을 공유하며 어린 시절의 트라우마가 미치는 지속적인 영향을 강조합니다.

사회경제적 지위와 관계없이 남성들이 정서적 공백을 인식하지 못하는 공통점을 강조합니다.

남성들이 공허함을 극복하고 정서적 성숙을 이룰 수 있도록 코칭 세션에서 사용되는 8가지 단계에 대해 설명합니다.

유해한 경험 파악하기, 부모의 한계 이해하기, 부모를 받아들이고 용서하기, 감정적 유발 요인 파악하기 등의 코칭 단계를 요약합니다.

다른 사람들이 비슷한 실수를 하지 않도록 도와줌으로써 인생의 목적을 찾는 마지막 단계를 강조합니다.

공백은 평생 지속되지만 관리가 가능하다는 점을 명확히 하여 공백에 지배당하는 것에서 공백을 통제하는 것으로의 전환을 강조합니다.

자신의 공허함을 극복하지 못한 무자격 멘토가 자제력을 잃고 다른 사람을 통제하려고 시도하는 것에 대해 경고합니다.

'E 신화'를 인용하여 자신 대신 세상을 바꾸려는 경향을 강조합니다.

발표자의 개인적인 경험과 열정을 조언의 기초로 강조합니다.