자기애적 학대 부모로부터 치유하기: 놓아주기 및 애도하기

### 자기애적 학대 부모로부터 치유하기: 공유된 환상에서 벗어나기
* 👨 자기애적 학대 부모로부터 치유하려면 **부모가 다시는 부모로 나타나지 않겠다는 생각**을 포기하고 그 상실에 대해 슬퍼해야 합니다.
* 😢 치유는 보통 **무언가를 놓아주고 슬픔과 슬픔을 경험하는 것**을 포함합니다.
* 👩 슬픔, 가족 관계, 자기애적 학대를 전문으로 하는 자격을 갖춘 정신 건강 전문가의 도움을 받는 것이 좋습니다.
* 🎣 자기애적 부모와의 학대적인 관계는 종종 **부모의 사랑과 인정을 받는다는 미끼**로 형성된 은밀한 계약에 기반합니다.
* 🌌 소통을 통해 만들어지는 작은 세상, 그 안에서 살아가는 **공유된 판타지**로 이해하는 것이 가장 좋습니다.
* 🔄 궁극적인 목표는 부모와 물리적으로 거리를 두더라도 **부모는 내 안에 계속 주체로서 존재**하기 때문에 이러한 공유된 환상을 파괴하는 것입니다.
* 💻 '자기애적 학대의 매트릭스에서 벗어나기'라는 강좌를 통해 **다양한 상황에서 자기애적으로 학대하는 관계를 극복**하는 데 도움을 받을 수 있습니다.

자기애적 학대 부모로부터 치유하려면 부모 역할을 할 수 있다는 생각을 버리고 그 상실에 대해 슬퍼해야 합니다.

So in this video, we're gonna talk about how to heal from
narcissistically abusive parents, and I want to give you the
essence of this video upfront. It doesn't really matter
whether your parents actually would fit the clinical
diagnosis for NPD or not. The fact is that you,
by watching this video, you've looked at the
definition of narcissism. You've looked at the definition
of narcissistic strategies, and that tells me, at the very least, if you think your parents are narcissistic or a parent is narcissistic, they're going to be extremely vindictive, extremely envious, and jealous of you. They're going to be cruel,
they're going to be exploitative. They'll have taken things from you, and they will have emotionally abused you. How to heal. This isn't a happy video,
it's not a fun video, it's not a nice video, but the essence of what
I'll be talking around here.

is around giving up. Giving up on the idea of that parent, or of both your parents, ever actually showing up as a parent in your life, is essential to your healing and is essential to you moving on. I understand this. I had to go through this process with one of my parents eventually because remaining stuck in a cycle of hope and disappointment, hope and disappointment, hope and disappointment, was driving me mad, and the easier thing to do was to just say, Okay, this parent is never going to show up as a parent. Biologically, he is my parent. Biologically, I came from him. But in the world, in terms of function, of fulfilling the duty of a parent, he completely failed. He's always going to fail, and I need to give up on that. And it actually made my life an awful lot better. That's healing. I don't think there is any healing in the world that typically happens without grief. Healing usually requires that we let go.

from something that we grieve for something, and that we experience a certain degree of sadness. I can't give you a way around that. I would suggest that anybody who claims they can give you a way around that is probably not being completely truthful with you. So, healing from narcissistically abusive parents, in its essence, is letting go of the idea that they're ever gonna show up as parents and grieving for that loss. I suggest to do that, that you acquire the assistance of a qualified mental health professional, not life coaches, not people on YouTube or Instagram. You're not gonna be able to read posts and get better. You're not gonna be able to watch YouTube videos and get better. You have to take the time and spend a little bit of money to find a mental health professional, a therapist, or a counselor who knows what they're doing, who specializes in the area of grief and family relationships, and preferably narcissistic abuse, as well.

and then spend some time
having conversations with them in order for you to process
what you're going through. It's a big deal. It's not a little thing, it's a big thing, and you should take the
time out of your life to say, Okay, this is a period of my life where I dedicated a certain
amount of time and effort and money to overcome
the fact that really, I was stuck in this abusive
cycle with one of my parents, and it was dramatically
affecting the quality of my life. It's well worth taking the time to do that, but please take it seriously. Now, why does this happen? When you are born to
narcissistically abusive parents, you can't consent because you're a child and they have total power over you. But what starts to form
is a covert contract that operates between you, that's rooted in some sort of bait. All narcissistically
abusive relationships, emotionally abusive
relationships, have to have bait.

because why else would you go back? Like if you came on this video,
and I just swore and said, You're an idiot for
clicking this video, go away. I never wanna see you again. You would probably just stop
the video and disappear. Why would you come back? You'd be like, Oh, I watched
one of that guy's videos. It was terrible. I hated that. I'm not going through
that experience again. Why would you do it? Well, if you had a reason to do it, even if I was being abusive, you would. If there was something within the videos like, I don't know, there's something that you particularly needed
to get from within these videos in order to live your life, you would put up with all of the abuse. There'd be a bait there. Why do we put up with abuse
from narcissistic parents? Because the bait is, I could
win the love of my mother.

I could win the love of my father. As a child, who's now grown
into an adult human being, what is more powerful
than your creator's love? They're gods to children. They are gods to us. Your mother's love, your
father's love, your mother and father's validation,
their approval, their support. If you're watching this video and you received those
things, you're blessed. Many of us didn't. Instead of getting validation,
love, approval, and support, we got abuse, we've got exploitation. For some of us, the abuse was violent, for some of us, the abuse was sexual, and it does massive damage because that should have been
a source of love and support, and in fact, it was a
source of evil and chaos. It's very, very difficult to overcome, which is why I am heavily
advocating in this video that people are struggling with this issue find a therapist, find a counselor.

Go through a few. Find somebody that you
can really get on with, that you would like to
do this kind of work with, and learn how to grieve
for what's being lost. The covert contract is formed
on the basis of the bait, and then once the covert
contract is formed on the basis of that bait, the bait being I can win my mother's love,
I can win my father's love, and then she will become a
mother, he'll become a father. Then what happens is you plunge into an abusive relationship with them that's best understood in
accordance with the work of a Dutch psychoanalyst called
Sander as a shared fantasy. You are then engaged in a type
of communication with them that creates a little world
that you live inside of. It's a shared fantasy. You have shared goals, shared coordinates, a shared narrative about
what that relationship is and isn't. The only relationship
with a mother or a father

that you've ever known is the shared fantasy relationship you've had with your own mother or father, right? That common sense, right? That means you don't know, you couldn't possibly know, as I couldn't possibly know from your subjective point of view, solipsistically, what a normal relationship with a mother or father looks like, what a non-abusive relationship with a mother or father looks like or feels like. So then the job that we have is to destroy this shared fantasy because effectively now you're living inside of a world of illusion. You are living inside of a simulation, a matrix style simulation that that parent has plunged you into and is effectively exploiting you and enslaving you from that point of view to give themselves narcissistic supply for life. There are no moral boundaries with these people. There's no moral boundaries with this psychological personality type, so even if they can see that it's making you suffer,

that it's making you physically
sick, which it often does. That it's giving you a
lower quality of life, they don't care because
they're all about themselves, and even the destruction
of their own children doesn't move them to change their ways. If you don't heal this shared fantasy, even if you move country
and never see them again, even if they die, it still continues. You carry your mother and
father within you as interjects. You carry the mother and father within you, and the shared fantasy
of your relationship with your mother, your
relationship with your father, if they were narcissistically
abusive, forever unless you do this work. I have a course that helps people overcome narcissistically abusive
relationships in work environments, in romantic relationships,
and in family units. The course, if you get it, is called Unplug from the Matrix
of Narcissistic Abuse. If you do choose to work with
a therapist or counselor.

have the therapist or counselor contact us, and we will give them access to the course so they can see exactly what you're doing, and you can work with them. If your therapist or counselor
has a question about the work that I've offered you, or
they have a suggestion for other exercises, or what we can do, they have a direct line to me, and I can change the course
or moderate the course in accordance with what your therapist or counselor suggests or asks for. Any clarity you need, they
can come straight to me. If you're interested, the course is called Unplug from the Matrix
of Narcissistic Abuse. It's available now from richardgrannon.com via this link down here. Sorry, the video is a
little bit of a downer, but nevertheless, I
thank you for your time and for your attention, and I look forward to speaking to you again very soon. Hello, folks. Just to let you know, we now have a new course
out, it's finally finished.

It's called Unplug from the Matrix of Narcissistic Abuse, and it's available from richardgrannon.com. Just hit this link right here, and you can go get it.

WATCH THIS if You think your Parents were Abusive

Welcome to the Richard Grannon channel where I help you identify, get away and stay away from Narcisstic abuse and heal from trauma.
 
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자기애적 학대 부모로부터 치유하기

- 보복성 및 정서적 학대와 같은 자기애적 부모의 특성을 인식하는 것은 치유를 위해 매우 중요합니다.

- 치유에는 부모가 자신의 역할을 다할 수 있다는 희망을 버리고 자격을 갖춘 정신 건강 전문가의 도움을 구하는 것이 포함됩니다.

- 슬픔과 슬픔은 치유 과정의 자연스러운 부분이며, 자기애적 학대뿐만 아니라 슬픔과 가족 관계를 전문으로 치료하는 치료사를 찾는 것이 중요합니다.

학대적인 부모 관계가 삶에 미치는 영향을 극복하기 위해 시간과 노력을 투자하는 것이 중요합니다.

이러한 상황에서 태어나면 어떤 형태의 미끼에 기반한 강압적인 역학 관계가 형성되어 학대에도 불구하고 개인이 계속 얽매이게 됩니다.

부모의 사랑을 얻고자 하는 욕구가 학대를 용인하는 근본적인 이유가 되는 경우가 많습니다.

부모의 사랑과 인정은 우리의 자존감과 정체성을 형성하는 매우 강력한 힘입니다.

많은 사람들이 사랑과 지지 대신 부모로부터 학대와 착취를 경험하며 깊은 정서적 상처를 입습니다.

이러한 트라우마를 극복하기 위해서는 종종 치료를 받고 부모의 사랑이라는 잃어버린 이상에 대해 애도하는 법을 배워야 합니다.

나르시시즘적 부모 관계의 환상 극복하기

자기애적 학대 환경에서 자란 경우 부모와의 정상적인 관계를 이해하는 것은 불가능합니다.

자기애적인 부모의 자기중심적인 성격은 자녀의 고통을 전혀 고려하지 않은 채 자녀를 착취하고 노예화합니다.

분리된 후에도 학대적인 관계에 대한 환상은 내면적으로 지속되어 삶의 질에 영향을 미칩니다.

"자기애적 학대의 매트릭스에서 벗어나기"는 이러한 학대적인 가족 역학을 극복할 수 있도록 돕기 위해 고안된 과정입니다.

새 강좌 공지: 나르시시즘 학대의 매트릭스에서 벗어나기

새로운 강좌인 "자기애적 학대의 매트릭스에서 벗어나기"가 이제 richardgrannon.

치료사와 상담사는 이 강좌에 액세스하여 내담자의 진행 상황을 파악하고 필요한 변경 사항을 제안할 수 있습니다.

리처드 그래논은 치료사나 상담사의 피드백과 제안을 바탕으로 강좌를 수정할 수 있습니다.