So anger is not an authentic expression. Uh, anger is a is a smoke screen for actually admitting to yourself that you've been hurt. And that's super counter-intuitive. How many years is it going to take you to learn that and stop being angry? That'll take a lot of years.

If you're anger-prone, how about with suffering? Suffering is one of the most counterintuitive things. When we suffer, the obvious thing that we do is we recoil and we try to kind of shut ourselves off from the suffering, create that little piece of armor there.

And to distract ourselves from the suffering. One of the most counterintuitive things you can do in life is to actually open yourself to the suffering and fully feel it with full mindfulness and consciousness and really suffer it, like really suffer it extra hard.

And from that, actually you will be able to dissolve your suffering. It's in the resisting of suffering that most suffering gets created. That's so counterintuitive and so challenging to embody. You can know this logically, but then to be able to embody it in everyday

life when you're actually in a moment of deep suffering, that's really difficult. That takes a lot of training and that's a lot of what spirituality is about. And that's also why spirituality is so counterintuitive, one of the ways is because you know

This is a classic technique that spiritual masters and gurus and yogis have used for thousands of years is that they deliberately make themselves suffer by lying on a bed of nails, for example, or sitting and meditating on a hard rock in

a cave somewhere this creates a lot of suffering but this is exactly what spiritually purifies them and ultimately makes them a happy person is because they went through all that suffering see that's so counterintuitive most people what they want is they want to do the opposite they want to surround

themselves with a cushy environment where everything is perfect and idealistic and or idyllic rather and um and and in that situation actually you become soft and you become weak and then even the littlest agitation will make you suffer enormously whereas

the person who lives in a cave for 10 years to him he can endure enormous suffering and no problem because he's trained himself on it and that's the whole idea behind asceticism fear is also a great example of counterintuitiveness

a lot of people when they're faced with a challenging situation they'll worry about that situation and they'll think about it and they'll ruminate about all the stuff that can go wrong with it and uh the idea being that if you worry so much about it that

somehow you're gonna prevent it but actually what ends up happening is the exact opposite by law of attraction you end up attracting those things which you think about so if you're worrying and you're thinking about negative stuff you tend to attract that so if you're fearful about lack of money

that tends to actually instill and program you within with a poverty mindset and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy if you're fearful about love and you think you're going to end up alone and that makes you needy and clingy when you do get into that

relationship with your perfect partner, you're going to be so needy and clingy, and so fearful of losing their love that actually you're going to repel them away and they will leave you for your neediness. And then that creates a self-fulfilling

prophecy. That's why fear is so dangerous and so toxic. What's really counterintuitive with fear is to face it head-on. Our natural inclination with fear is to try to resist it or distract ourselves from it, is to avoid the thing that we fear the most.

And uh what spirituality teaches us that we have to go into the fear and face our greatest fears head on. And then through that we conquer our fears. We realize that our fears, all fear is just illusion, but that's so counter-intuitive because a fear does not appear like an illusion.

It appears like reality, but then again that's precisely what an illusion is. An illusion is an appearance which mimics reality but really isn't. How about the example of arrogance? It's counter-intuitive to be humble. Have you noticed this? Or blame, it's counter-intuitive not to blame

other people when something goes wrong. How about criticism? It's counter-intuitive to listen to criticism. Our natural inclination when we get criticized is to again create armor and shut ourselves off, and to instead demonize the person who is criticizing us.

to invalidate their criticism because their criticism is pointing out some weakness in us that we need to work on and fix. But of course we don't admit that we have a weakness. The ego doesn't admit that. The counterintuitive thing is to actually listen to feedback.

and that's counterintuitive because it's emotionally difficult to do that because then you have to open yourself up to the possibility that other people might know more than you do

Understanding Anger, Suffering & Negativity

Actualized Clips

분노와 고통에 대한 반직관적 접근법

분노는 근본적인 상처를 가리고 있으며, 이를 극복하는 데는 시간이 걸립니다.

고통에 대한 반직관적인 해결책: 고통에 대한 마음가짐을 가져야 합니다.

고통에 저항하면 더 많은 고통이 생기고, 고통을 온전히 경험하면 고통이 해소됩니다.

이를 구현하려면 훈련이 필요하며 이는 영성의 핵심적인 측면입니다.

영적 수행에는 종종 정화를 위한 고의적인 고통이 수반됩니다.

두려움에 대한 반직관적 접근 방식

걱정은 부정적인 결과를 불러오고, 두려움에 직접 직면하면 두려움을 극복할 수 있습니다.

부족에 대한 두려움은 빈곤에 대한 마음가짐을 만들고, 외로움에 대한 두려움은 궁핍과 거부감으로 이어집니다.

영성은 두려움을 극복하기 위해 정면으로 마주하는 것을 옹호합니다.

두려움은 실재하는 것처럼 보이지만 궁극적으로는 환상에 불과합니다.

오만, 비난, 비판에 대한 반직관적인 접근 방식

겸손은 비난을 피하고 비판을 받아들이는 것과 마찬가지로 직관에 반하는 행동입니다.

자연스러운 성향은 비판에 대해 방어하는 것이고, 반직관적인 접근 방식은 경청하는 것입니다.

피드백을 들으려면 약점을 인정하고 자존심에 도전해야 합니다.

다른 사람의 지식을 개방하는 것은 감정적으로 어렵지만 유익한 일입니다.