Hello, we are a couple with four children, working hard to raise our kids properly and live diligently. We have been striving to live earnestly and uprightly, and our children have been growing well, making our home a happy one. However, last week, we suddenly lost our youngest child in a traffic accident. It was a situation where we had to part too quickly, and it still feels like yesterday. Living with regrets, I feel like I couldn't give as much love as other parents. I don't have many memories of being good to my child, only thoughts of getting angry and irritated, leaving me with a sense of guilt. I feel like sending our child away was entirely our fault. I miss my ten-year-old youngest child so much and long to hold them, but what should I do? I feel like I need to gather strength for the remaining children, but it's truly difficult. Yes, when a child suddenly, and even in a hospital, falls ill for one or two years...

It's not like we were running for a name, and suddenly, we got into a traffic accident and might die. It feels like a dream right now, not coming to our senses. Is there a way to calm down quickly? There is no way. We just have to live in a daze for now. First of all, in times like this, when words of comfort don't really resonate in your ears or heart, we may just have to endure the sadness. Since you've asked a question now, it means that even though you are not completely composed, you still managed to ask a question. So, what do you think you should do? When you think about it, instead of seeking comfort from a monk, priest, or pastor, what do you think you should do now that your child has died in a traffic accident?

What do you think they should do in this situation? What do you wish would happen? Do you hope the child comes back alive? Is that what you are thinking? No, just honestly tell me. Yes, that's right. Uh, I hope the child comes back alive. That's what parents would think, right? But is there a way for the child to come back alive or not? No, there isn't. Yes. Then, even if I want that so badly, if there is no way, should I give up? Should I keep holding on? I know in my head that I should give up, but in my heart, I can't. Yes, that's why, if I want something, like, if I want something in a room, but there is no way to have it, I should give up, but if I hold onto that desire, foolish actions come out. I might end up stealing it, for example. If the conditions are not met, and if you keep obsessing over it, then, you know, they, they...

I want my child to come back to life now, but realistically, it's impossible. However, there is still lingering attachment to that. Now, any religious leader or shaman who says something like if you do this ritual, the child will cry or come back, or if you live the Cheondojae, you will go to paradise, even if it costs some money, I might consider doing it. So, when I really want something desperately but can't do it on my own, that's when we become like that, borrowing strength from others and trying to do it. So, if someone asked me today without asking me, you need to go through the Cheondo ritual to send the child to paradise, I might do it if it costs around 1 million won, but if they ask for 100 million, then I would hesitate. I think I would hesitate and think about it. Even if it's 100 million, I think I would still be hesitant because now, due to the sadness...

There is a possibility of accepting such things, and if it doesn't work out later, they will ask me again, Oh, do you really achieve enlightenment by donating to a religious organization? They ask this way again because why do they ask now? Because money becomes a burden, that's why they ask. When someone is too focused only on their child, they don't spend money. So when people die, whether it's for the funeral or something else, they spend a lot of money that doesn't fit their financial situation because it's too sad. But if the money becomes burdensome, they come to me and ask, Is it really worth it? So, there is a risk. If they ask for not just one million but ten million, what will they do? So, they thought about it.

If it's not the right time, then what goes around doesn't come around. So, I hope to go to heaven or paradise after I die. I hope to go to the heavenly palace. This is the second time now. Oh, but there's a problem there. But if we think rationally, did the child do anything wrong at ten years old? No, they didn't. So, if there is a heaven or paradise, would you go or not? You would go. But there's no reason to spend money. There's no reason. Why spend money? It costs money to send someone who hasn't done anything wrong to hell, right? No. So, if you think about it a little, you would want to go to heaven or paradise. So, if our child is still young and hasn't done anything wrong, then they would want to go to heaven or paradise if it exists.

When you think about it, there's nothing to worry about. But when someone sacrifices themselves there, our child is innocent, why spend money to send them to heaven? Instead, we should think like this. When the child grows up, graduates from college, and becomes an adult, wouldn't I have to spend about 300 million won on the child? However, since we don't have a child, we won't spend that money. So, instead of losing one child's life, I will provide school tuition for 100 children on the other side of the earth in India or in Africa until I become an adult. If I support one, I can get a hundred, right? Now, we need to change our mindset like this. If you are not in the right mind, your heart won't feel that way. So, to graduate from college, even if it costs 300 million, if you just do one-tenth, it's only 30 million won.

In a country of ten people, it is possible to support financially until the ten people graduate from high school and enter college. I sent one child to school, and it only costs tens of thousands of won per year. So, from an elite perspective, when one of my children saves ten people from a mountain or saves a hundred people from a mountain, in that case, our child cannot be left behind. Our child cannot be left out of the heavenly realm. That's right. Thinking like that actually becomes a way to quickly dispel sadness. If we keep obsessing only about our child from now on, thinking, I wish my child had lived well, I wish they had gone to a good university, it's not about just living well because we want them to, or going to a good university because we want them to. If we wish they had lived well, we should choose the path for them to live well. But, based on the common sense we have lived by so far, we can't live well.

If you can, it's a fraud. So if you go to heaven, you wouldn't know, right? You wouldn't know if heaven exists or not. So, it's definitely not certain that you'll come back to life. It's definitely not certain that you'll come back to life. You understand, right? Reincarnation is a possibility. We definitely don't know about that. Whether we exist in the afterlife or not, we don't know. Because we don't know, we can try, but it's definitely not true that a dead person comes back to life as they were. So, there's no need to have regrets about that. Then, even though it's uncertain, there's a possibility of being reborn, going to paradise, or something like that. Some people may believe in that, while others may not, but still, since it's uncertain, we can try. So, I send money there. Then, why do you send money there? You send money there, along with the money.

I don't think there was any relationship to begin with. Why does a ten-year-old have to pay to go there? So, if you are there, as a parent, you should instill virtues in your children. So, I think, if one of my children sacrifices, I will provide the expenses for taking care of 100 children who are not taken care of. I will do it in the name of that child. In this way, how about the child? Isn't it borrowing the strength of the parents to do good deeds? Right? Then, with that strength, if they go, they should be able to go, right? Thinking in this direction, it is necessary to sublimate sadness. Sadness that cannot be helped now, but the regrettable thing is inevitable. We need to sublimate this. I read an article in the newspaper yesterday or today, I don't remember well, about a young person in their 20s, I'm not sure if they are Korean or a singer, I don't know well, but suddenly...

What if a person dies for some reason? There are stories where one person dies and saves three or four lives. Like deciding to donate their eyes to someone in need, it's like one person dies to save others. So, if my child had to die unavoidably, then it would be difficult to revive that child. In that case, I will help ten or even a hundred other children to grow up well. Isn't this attitude necessary? In a global perspective, the sacrifice of a child may not just end in vain but can be made noble and valuable. Since I cannot bring them back to life, from that point of view, how about helping the remaining children to live better? Then, the second point is, as mentioned earlier, if one cannot play with or love their child properly, it's better to not be consumed by sadness and be there for the remaining three people.

Would it be helpful? If not, reflect on this. Instead of focusing too much on making money, why not take the time on weekends to play with the kids, go on trips, and change your lifestyle a bit? You were only thinking about making money to give it to your child, but the child passed away. How empty would that be? So, playing with your kids is more important. From Monday to Saturday, you need to earn money for the kids, but on weekends, or if you have to work on weekends, at least one day, once or twice a month, play with the kids. It doesn't have to be playing on rides, but talking, traveling, eating together, changing your life a bit like this. That's when you start reflecting, realizing you might harm your child.

I learned a lesson from one child for another child. This is how the child can feel rewarded. By preventing my mistakes, I helped the other three children. So, our youngest did a great thing. When the older siblings see it, they think that the youngest, through their sacrifice, made our parents love us more. This is now living. Even though the physical life of the younger sibling is gone, if their will lives on in the three sons and daughters or helps others, if we could overcome this issue with an attitude of living for other children, tens or hundreds of children could live. I hope we can overcome this issue with this mindset. I would like to say these words. Thank you. Well, the mom is sadder, but mom should say one more thing than dad. I understand crying when you can cry, but crying doesn't solve anything. Well, that's true, but I keep thinking about what I couldn't do, and it's really hard.

Why didn't you do that well? But now, if you cry because that person didn't do it, you won't be able to do it for the other three people. That's right. So if you lose something you were good at, you should reflect on it, pull yourself together, and do well for the rest. If you keep crying because you lost your understanding, you won't be able to do it for the other three people. Isn't that foolish? When I look at children, I realize that money is important, but playing and caring for them is more important. So from now on, you shouldn't get angry with the other three or do things like that. That's what I mean. So, at that time, it's not that the child became a sacrifice; it's through the child's death that I regained my senses and the love of that child lives on in the new child, returning to me. So, you need to pull yourself together now. It's understandable to be sad, but if you keep being sad and stuck there, you will make even more mistakes.

Regretting one mistake and going down the same path again and again, that's what it means. So, in order to put an end to one mistake, right now, I need to tell the other kids here that I regretted it and make sure not to make the same mistake again. The kids lost their older sibling, so the parents need to run to show support. It's okay, it's true that it hurts. But we all live together inside. We need to encourage each other like this and eliminate the children's sadness. If parents suppress their emotions and act absentmindedly, it will give the kids a bigger shock. They haven't reflected on themselves yet; their emotions are absent. They couldn't do it for the child; that falls into the realm of a mental illness of being immersed in the sadness. If they had reflected, they should smile now and treat the other kids well. I almost made a big mistake. By doing this, they need to treat the other three well.

We need to switch to a positive attitude. Not only to our children but there are too many parents in the world who cannot take care of their children. How painful must their hearts be? Even if it's a small income, even if it's a modest income, if we have to donate for our children, I think having this perspective can transform sadness into something better. Thank you for your words. Try to smile once. How can we laugh when our child has passed away? If you cry because your child has passed away, then will the child come back alive? Laughing might be good for the remaining three people, but crying won't bring the child back to life and will also negatively affect the other three. So, continuing to do foolish things in a row is living foolishly. That's what it means. So, now that you're an adult and a parent of three children, quickly regain your composure.

Please wake up and live happily with the three of you. What kind of comfort can you give to parents when their child dies? I'm out of my mind right now. Oh, that's why even monks don't comfort at times like this. That comfort doesn't enter the ears. However, this is also a significant mental illness. It falls under mental disorders caused by such shocks. So, if your mind doesn't come back well, you should go to the hospital and take some medication. Then your mind will calm down a lot, and you will quickly regain your senses. This is what I'm saying. Also, it's fortunate that you haven't lost all three and can focus on the remaining three to regain your senses quickly. I would like to give you this advice. Remember it, keep it in your heart, and live diligently. Thank you. I'm sorry for speaking so bluntly, but there's no other way, right?

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