Welcome to our animated book summary of The Subtle Art of Mark Manson. Today, we're exploring a game-changing guide that turns conventional wisdom on its head. Are you tired of the endless positivity and success-at-all-costs messages bombarding you from all sides? In this no-nonsense book, we're invited to embrace a refreshing perspective. Life isn't about avoiding failure or discomfort; it's about choosing the struggles that matter most to you. Through our exploration, you'll discover powerful insights on how to navigate life's complexities with a new sense of clarity and purpose. You'll learn why embracing negative experiences is crucial for personal growth and how facing life's challenges head-on can lead to true fulfillment. We'll discuss the importance of taking responsibility for your actions, the liberating power of saying no, and why committing to your values can transform your life. But that's not all. We'll also delve into the vital distinctions between fault and responsibility, the often misunderstood concept of maturity, and the crucial role of boundaries in maintaining healthy

relationships prepare to challenge the cult of exceptionalism and understand why being average can be a source of strength. So, if you're ready, let's dive in. Before we dive into the first idea, if you are a visual learner, you have to check our app, Morphosis. We have animated book summary videos for the best self-development and business books. Click the link in the description to get a 7-day free trial and learn from hundreds of animated book summaries. And don't forget to like this video and subscribe to our channel so you get notified when we upload free videos. Idea one: the not giving a damn philosophy. The central idea of the book revolves around a simple yet profound concept. We all have a limited amount of energy and attention to give to the world around us. Think of it like this: you start each day with a handful of golden coins. Each coin represents your care, concern, and attention throughout the day. Countless things ask for your coins: your job, your family, the news, social media, your desires, and fears. But here's the catch: if you give a coin to

everything that asks you'll end up broke with nothing left for the things that truly matter to you. This is where the philosophy kicks in. It's about being selective with your coins. It doesn't mean you don't care about anything. Instead, you're choosing what to care about. It's recognizing that some things in life, like what someone said about you on social media, or the fact that your favorite TV show got cancelled, might not be worth your coin. On the flip side, things like your health, your family, or a passion project might deserve more of your golden coins. Life is full of ups and downs, and if you're tossing coins at every little thing, you'll be constantly reacting, leaving you drained and unhappy. But when you're picky about where your coins go, you take control. You focus on what builds you up rather than what tears you down. It's not about being cold or indifferent. It's about being strong in your choices. This philosophy isn't always easy to live by. It's tough to admit that some things just aren't worth

the worry. It takes practice and sometimes a bit of courage. You might feel pressure from those around you to give your coins away, but remember, they're yours and you get to choose where they go. By adopting this mindset, you might find that life becomes simpler, clearer, and more focused. You have more energy for the things you love, and the little annoyances don't knock you down as easily. It's a way of navigating the chaos of life while keeping your coins safe for the things that truly deserve them. Idea two: embracing negative experiences. Life is not a smooth ride; it's more like a roller coaster. There are highs and there are definitely lows. Now, here's a thought: what if those lows, the bad times and the tough experiences, weren't just obstacles but actually important parts of the journey? What if they were necessary for us to grow, learn, and become stronger? Often, when something bad happens, our first reaction is to push it away, to avoid it, or to drown it in distractions. But imagine instead if we took those hard times and looked them straight in

the eye. It's not about enjoying pain or seeking out trouble, but about seeing the value in the difficult moments. When you go through something tough, like failing at something you've worked hard for, it stings, it hurts, but in that pain, there's a lesson. Maybe it's about resilience, or perhaps it shows you a different path you hadn't considered before. It might even make you realize how much you want something, lighting a fire inside you to try again. And it's not just about the big things; even the small annoyances, like getting stuck in traffic or dealing with a difficult person, are chances to practice patience and understanding. This idea isn't about glorifying suffering or making light of real pain; some experiences are truly tragic and they need care and compassion. But for the everyday struggles, the setbacks, and the letdowns, there's a silver lining. They're part of being alive, and they shape you in ways comfort and success never could. By embracing the tough times, you're saying yes to the whole spectrum of life. You're becoming adaptable, resilient, and, ironically, you might find

that those negative experiences don't hit you as hard. They become like weights in a gym, each struggle a bit of resistance that, when faced head-on, makes you a little bit stronger. If you like the video so far, give it a like and subscribe to our channel so you get notified when we upload more animated book summaries. Also, leave a comment if you agree or disagree with the ideas of this book. We read all your comments. Thank you for your support. Now let's continue. Idea three: You are not special. It's a bit of a tough pill to swallow, but think about it. In a world of over 7 billion people, the chances of being the most unique, the most extraordinary, or the most successful are pretty slim. That's not to say you don't have your own special qualities or that you can't achieve great things, but the idea here is about the pressure and unrealistic expectations that come with believing you have to be the absolute best or most special. From a young age, many of us are told we can be anything we want.

we're unique and destined for greatness. While this is meant to be encouraging, it can sometimes backfire. It sets up this idea that being average is the worst thing that could happen, that if you're not standing out, you're somehow failing. But here's a different way to look at it. What if being average, in many ways, is actually quite all right? What if, instead of constantly striving for a peak that only a few can realistically reach, you found contentment in the everyday? It's not about giving up on goals or not trying your best. It's about measuring success in more personal, meaningful ways rather than just the flashy, standout achievements. Recognizing that you're not the center of the universe, that you're not destined for greatness just because you exist, can be freeing. It takes the pressure off. It allows you to live your life more fully, appreciating the small victories and the simple joy. It encourages you to value hard work, resilience, and personal growth over the sometimes empty pursuit of being seen as special or above average. It also helps in connecting with others. When you

realize that everyone has their own struggles, successes, and average days. It fosters empathy and understanding. It reminds you that we're all in this together, each of us trying our best with the cards we've been dealt. So, while it might not be the most glamorous message, embracing your own averageness, your own humanity, can actually lead to a more genuine, more satisfying way of living. It's not about settling; it's about realizing that life's worth is not measured by how you stand out, but by how you live each ordinary day with purpose, kindness, and authenticity. Idea four: the value of suffering. Suffering might seem like something to avoid at all costs. It's painful, uncomfortable, and often feels downright unpleasant. But what if there's something valuable hidden in those tough moments? What if the struggles and challenges you face are actually essential parts of a meaningful life? Think about the times you've suffered for something you really cared about. Maybe it was pulling all-nighters

to finish a project you were passionate about, enduring a tough workout to hit a fitness goal, or going through heartache that taught you about love and resilience, that suffering had a purpose and it likely led to growth, learning, or achievements that felt deeply rewarding. The thing is, suffering in itself isn't good or bad; it's neutral. It's the reasons behind it, the meaning you attach to it, that define its value. When you suffer for things that matter deeply to you—your values, your loved ones, your dreams—it can be a powerful and transformative experience. But suffering without purpose, on the other hand, is just pain. It's the suffering you endure when you worry about things that don't really matter or when you chase after superficial goals that don't align with your deeper values. It's the kind of suffering that doesn't lead anywhere, except maybe to more suffering. So, it's not about seeking out suffering or putting yourself through unnecessary pain; it's about recognizing that suffering is inevitable and what matters most is the why behind it.

about choosing your struggle choosing what's worth suffering for and then facing those challenges head-on when you start to view suffering through this lens, it changes the way you approach life's obstacles. You begin to see them as opportunities to build resilience, to learn, and to deepen your understanding of what really matters to you. It's a shift from avoiding suffering at all costs to engaging with it in a purposeful, meaningful way, and that can make all the difference in leading a fulfilling life. Idea five: taking responsibility. Taking responsibility is a powerful concept. It's about owning up to your life, the good and the bad, and understanding that your choices, actions, and reactions shape your reality. It doesn't mean that everything that happens to you is your fault. Life can be random and unfair, throwing curve balls that you have no control over. But here's the key: even when you can't control the situation, you can control how you respond to it. Let's say someone rear-ends your car. It's not your fault; you didn't cause it, but now you have a

choice. You can either let anger and frustration take over, ruining your day, or you can handle the situation calmly, dealing with the insurance, and moving on. The accident wasn't your fault, but how you deal with it is your responsibility. Taking responsibility means not playing the blame game. It's easy to point fingers, to make excuses, to say things like, I can't be happy because of X, Y, or Z, but that mindset leaves you stuck, powerless. When you take responsibility, you take back control. You say, Okay, this is the situation. What can I do about it? It's about being proactive rather than reactive. It also means taking responsibility for your emotions and well-being. No one else can make you happy or fulfilled. Those are inside jobs. It's up to you to create a life that aligns with your values, to set boundaries, and to pursue what brings you joy and meaning. This isn't about burdening yourself with unrealistic expectations or beating yourself up for every mistake. It's about honest self-reflection, learning from your

experiences and making conscious choices. It's a continuous process, a way of approaching life that empowers you to shape your own path. In the end, taking responsibility is liberating. It frees you from victimhood, from waiting for someone or something else to fix your life. It's the realization that you have more power than you might think, and with that power comes the ability to influence your own life in positive and meaningful ways. Idea six: uncertainty as a ground for growth. Uncertainty can be pretty scary. It's like walking through a foggy path, not knowing what's around the next bend. But here's a twist: that same uncertainty, the not knowing, can actually be the soil where growth happens. It's where you learn, where you're pushed to adapt, and where you discover strengths you didn't know you had. Think about the times you've learned something new. It probably started with uncertainty. Maybe it was the first day of a new job or when you tried a hobby for the first time. It felt uncomfortable, right? You didn't know what to expect. You made

mistakes, and you had to figure things out as you went along, but as you navigated through that uncertainty, you grew. You gained skills, confidence, and knowledge that you wouldn't have if you'd stayed in your comfort zone. Staying in what's familiar and certain is comfortable, but it's also limiting. It's like staying in a small circle of light. You know everything inside that circle, but there's a whole world in the shadows that you're missing out on. Stepping into uncertainty is like expanding that circle of light. It's not easy. It's not supposed to be, but it's where life becomes richer, deeper, and more vibrant. Embracing uncertainty means being okay with not having all the answers. It's about being curious, asking questions, and being open to different possibilities. It's about learning to be comfortable with the uncomfortable, knowing that it's a sign of growth and change. It also means letting go of the need for absolute control. Life is unpredictable, and trying to control every little thing is like trying to hold on to water. It's futile and

exhausting. Instead, focusing on what you can control like your effort, your attitude, and your actions gives you a sense of agency and influence even amidst uncertainty. So, while uncertainty can indeed be daunting, it's also incredibly valuable. It's where you're tested and where you learn the most about yourself and the world around you. It's an invitation to explore, to experiment, and to grow in ways you might never have if you'd stayed within the confines of certainty. Idea seven: Failure is the way forward. Failure often gets a bad rap. It's associated with loss, pain, and things not working out. But here's a different way to look at it: Failure is actually a stepping stone, not a stumbling block. It's a part of the process of moving forward, not backward. When you try something and it doesn't work out, it's natural to feel disappointed. But within that disappointment lies a gold mine of information. Every failure is a lesson in disguise. It shows you what doesn't work, nudging you to try different approaches.

it's like a scientist experimenting in a lab. Each failed experiment is a clue to what might work next time. Also, failure is evidence that you're pushing your limits, venturing into new territory. If you're not failing at anything, chances are you're playing it too safe, sticking to what you know you can already do. But growth doesn't happen in the safe zone, it happens out there in the unknown where you're challenged and tested. Facing failure also builds character. It teaches resilience, humility, and grit. It's easy to feel good when everything is going smoothly, but handling failure with grace and determination, that's a sign of true strength. It's about getting back up, dusting yourself off, and giving it another go with the wisdom you've gained from the experience. It's also about detaching your self-worth from the outcome. Just because something you tried didn't work out doesn't mean you're a failure. It simply means you're someone who's brave enough to try, to take risks, and to pursue your goals, knowing full well that not every attempt will be a

home run so while it might sound counterintuitive failure really is the way forward. It's an integral part of any meaningful journey, be it personal, professional, or creative. Embracing failure as a natural and necessary part of the process opens the door to learning, innovation, and ultimately success. Idea 8: the importance of saying no. Saying no can be tough. It's a tiny word, but it carries a lot of weight. We often worry about disappointing others, missing out, or seeming rude. But here's the thing: saying no is crucial. It's how you set boundaries, protect your time, and stay true to your priorities. Every time you say yes to something, you're saying no to something else, whether you realize it or not. There's only so much time in a day, and when you fill it up with commitments, there's less room for the things that truly matter to you. That's why it's important to be selective, to say no to things that don't align with your values or that don't bring you joy or fulfillment. It's also about respecting your own limits. You're

a human not a machine. You need rest. You have personal interests, and you have people in your life who matter. Saying no is a way of honoring those needs and ensuring you don't burn out. And here's something else: when you say no to things that aren't a good fit, you're making room for better opportunities. It's like decluttering your closet. You have to get rid of the old, ill-fitting clothes to make space for the ones that fit and feel good. The same goes for your time and energy. Saying no also teaches others to respect your boundaries. When you're clear about what you can and can't take on, people learn to value your time and commitments. It might be uncomfortable at first, but over time, it leads to healthier, more respectful relationships. But how do you say no without feeling guilty or causing hard feelings? It's all in the delivery. Be clear, be kind, and be honest. You don't have to give a long explanation. A simple I'm sorry, I can't commit to that right now or Thank you

for thinking of me, but I'll have to pass. Is enough. In the end, saying no is a form of self-care. It's not about being selfish or unhelpful. It's about making sure you're taking care of yourself so that you can show up fully for the things and people that truly matter. It's a small word, but it's a powerful tool for creating a life that feels good and right for you. Idea 9: The Rejection of the Hedonic Treadmill. The hedonic treadmill is a term that describes how we get used to changes in our life, especially when it comes to the things that make us happy. It's like running on a treadmill, trying to reach happiness. You get a burst of joy from something new, like a raise or a new car, but soon enough, you're back to wanting more. It's a never-ending cycle. This treadmill is a tricky thing because it tricks us into thinking that the next big thing, the next achievement or purchase, will make us happy. But once we get it, the

excitement fades, and we're on the hunt again. It's like chasing a carrot on a stick; you never quite catch it. Breaking free from this cycle means shifting your focus. Instead of constantly seeking more - more money, more stuff, more accolades - it's about appreciating what you have. It's finding joy in the small things and recognizing that happiness isn't about having the best of everything, but making the best of everything you have. It's also about understanding that happiness isn't a destination. It's not something you achieve or acquire; it's a way of being, a series of moments and choices. It's about the quality of your relationships, the paths you pursue, and the way you engage with the world around you. Another part of rejecting the honic treadmill is understanding that happiness isn't constant. Life has its ups and downs. Accepting that sadness, frustration, and disappointment are also part of the human experience is important. They're not things to avoid at all costs; they're emotions that can teach you, help you.

grow and make the Happy Times feel even more precious. So, instead of constantly running towards the next big thing, it's about stepping off the treadmill. It's about slowing down, being present, and finding contentment in the life you're living right now. It's not always easy, but it's a more sustainable path to a fulfilling life. Idea 10: Death as motivation for living. Death isn't the most comfortable topic. It's something we often avoid thinking about, but it's also one of the few certainties in life. Here's a twist: the awareness of death can actually serve as a powerful motivation for living more fully. Knowing that our time is limited can light a fire under us. It can push us to evaluate what's truly important and spur us into action. It's easy to get caught up in the day-to-day, in the small worries, and the trivial stuff. But when you zoom out and think about the bigger picture, a lot of that stuff doesn't seem so important anymore. Thinking about death can sharpen your focus on your values and what you

want to leave behind. It can make you ask yourself, What do I want to be remembered for? or What impact do I want to have? These aren't morbid questions; they're clarifying ones. They can guide your decisions and help you live in alignment with your deepest values. It also puts a spotlight on the present moment. Knowing that our time is finite can encourage us to live more fully in the here and now, to appreciate the people we love while they're still here, and to not put off the things that matter most to us. And it's not about living with a constant sense of urgency or fear; it's about living with intention. It's knowing that each day is a gift and choosing to use it in a way that feels meaningful to you. So, while death might seem like a dark topic, it has the potential to be a profound motivator. It can inspire us to lead richer, more purposeful lives and to focus on what truly matters. It's a reminder that our time is limited, but it's also a call to make the most of the

time we have idea 11 disentangling fault from responsibility. Disentangling fault from responsibility is about understanding the difference between the two and knowing what you can control. Fault is about who's to blame for a situation. Responsibility, on the other hand, is about taking charge of a situation regardless of who caused it. Imagine this: a storm damages your house. It's not your fault; you didn't cause the storm. But it's your responsibility to fix the damage. You could spend your time blaming the weather, but it won't change anything. Taking responsibility means taking action to improve your situation. This idea applies to life too. Bad things happen often out of the blue. It's not always fair, and it's not always your fault, but you have a choice in how you respond. You can either get stuck in blaming others or circumstances, or you can take responsibility for how you move forward. Taking responsibility is empowering; it puts you in the driver's seat of your life. It's not about taking the blame; it's about taking control.

recognizing that while you can't control what happens to you, you can control how you react and what you do next. Sometimes this might mean solving the problem; other times it might mean seeking help or making peace with a situation. What matters is that you're actively engaging with your life, not just letting things happen to you. It's a tough but liberating shift. It's about saying, Okay, this is where I am now, what can I do about it? It's a move from a passive to an active stance in life. It's about owning your power to shape your path regardless of the hand you've been dealt. Idea 12: the importance of commitment. Commitment might sound like a heavy word, but it's actually about freedom. When you commit to something, you're making a choice to focus your energy and time on what matters most to you. It's about saying no to a thousand other possibilities and saying yes to one path, one relationship, one goal. Here's the deal: when you're not committed, you're scattered, you're a little bit here

little bit there, but not all in. Anywhere it's like trying to catch all the rabbits at once. You end up catching none. Commitment is the opposite. It's choosing your rabbit and chasing it with all you've got. Committing isn't easy. It means making tough decisions. It means sometimes giving up good opportunities for the sake of a great one. It means sticking with something even when the initial excitement fades, and you're left with the hard work. But that's where the magic happens. That's where growth and success lie. When you commit, you give yourself a chance to get really good at something, to build something meaningful, to create deep connections. Whether it's a career, a craft, an idea, or a relationship, commitment lets you dive deep. It lets you get past the surface and explore the rich depths beneath. It's also about trust. Trusting yourself to make a choice and stick with it. Trusting the process and trusting that the rewards of staying the course are worth the effort. So commitment isn't about limiting yourself. It's about giving yourself the space to thrive in one area.

to nurture something and watch it grow, it's a key ingredient in a fulfilling life, providing direction, purpose, and a sense of accomplishment. It's about making the most of your time and talents by directing them where they'll make the biggest impact. Idea 13: the Do Something Principle. The Do Something Principle is about breaking the cycle of waiting for the perfect moment or feeling to take action. It's a simple yet powerful idea: don't wait until you feel motivated to do something, do something to get motivated. Often we get stuck thinking we need to feel inspired or confident before we start a task or pursue a goal, but waiting for the right feeling can lead to a lot of waiting and not much doing. The Do Something Principle flips this on its head. It says start doing, and the feelings will follow. Taking even a small step can kickstart a chain reaction. Action leads to inspiration, which leads to more action. It's like pushing a car: the hardest part is getting it moving, but once it's rolling, it takes less effort to keep it going.

this principle applies to everything from cleaning your house to working on a big project. Don't feel like doing the dishes? Just start with one. Often, once you've started, it's easier to keep going and finish the job. It's also about momentum. Every little action adds up. Each thing you do builds on the last and moves you closer to your goal. It's the difference between dreaming about writing a book and sitting down to write a page each day. So, the do something principle is about taking charge and creating your own motivation. It's about action as a remedy for stagnation. It's about not waiting for the perfect moment because that moment is now.

Idea 14: rejection of entitlement. Rejection of entitlement is about getting rid of the idea that you deserve something just because you are who you are. It's a mindset that says success, love, and respect aren't given, they're earned. When you feel entitled, you're waiting for the world to give you what you think you're owed. It's like sitting with an empty plate expecting it to fill with food.

without cooking a meal, this way of thinking doesn't get you very far. It breeds disappointment and bitterness when things don't go your way. Turning away from entitlement means rolling up your sleeves and getting to work. It's about understanding that if you want something, you have to go out and make it happen. It's about effort and action. It's also about humility. It's recognizing that you're not the center of the universe, that everyone has struggles, and that the world doesn't owe you anything. This doesn't mean you're not important or valuable. It just means that your worth isn't based on what you have or get, but on what you do and how you treat others. Rejecting entitlement brings a sense of empowerment. It puts you in the driver's seat. It's acknowledging that your life is your responsibility and that you have the power to shape it through your choices and actions. So, this idea is a call to drop the waiting game. It's a nudge to stop looking for handouts and start building the life you want. It's about earning your

stripes and finding pride in the work you put into your dreams idea 15. The importance of boundaries. The importance of boundaries is about knowing where you end and others begin. It's like having a fence around your house; it shows where your property starts and ends. Boundaries in life are just like that fence; they show what you're okay with and what you're not. Having clear boundaries means you know what you'll accept from others and what you won't. It's like having rules for how people can treat you. This is important because it protects you; it stops people from walking all over you and helps you keep your peace and respect. Boundaries aren't just about saying no; they're also about saying yes to the right things. They help you make space for what matters to you; they're about knowing your limits and not letting anything or anyone make you feel less. Setting boundaries is also a way of caring for others; it helps people know what you expect and how to treat you right. It's like giving someone a map so

they don't get lost. It helps everyone know where they stand, but it's not always easy. Setting boundaries can be tough, especially if you're not used to it. It might upset some people, but remember, if someone gets mad about your boundaries, it's often because they were taking advantage of you not having any. So, the importance of boundaries is about respect. It's about respecting yourself and teaching others to respect you too. It's about making your life yours and taking control of how you let others treat you.

Idea 16: Reframing Our Values
Reframing our values is about taking a good look at what's important to us and maybe choosing some new things to care about. It's like looking through your closet and deciding which clothes you actually wear and which ones are just taking up space. We all have values, even if we don't think about them much. They're like the rules we live by, the stuff we think is important. But sometimes we're holding on to values that don't help us or make us happy.

might be things like wanting everyone to like us, or thinking we have to be perfect. Reframing our values means asking ourselves, Are these things really worth my time and energy? It's about picking values that make your life better, like being honest, being kind, or working hard. It's choosing values that make you feel good about who you are, not just what you have. This isn't a one-time thing; it's something you keep doing as you grow and change. It's like checking your map on a long hike to make sure you're still going the right way. By picking better values, you're setting yourself up for real happiness. You're not chasing stuff that doesn't matter; instead, you're living by what truly means something to you. And when you do that, you start to care less about the small stuff and focus more on the big picture of what makes your life worthwhile. Idea 17: The Dangers of Success. The dangers of success is about the unexpected problems that can come when you get what you've been chasing after. It's like finally getting to the

top of a mountain, only to realize it's lonely up there. Or it's not as exciting as you thought it would be. When you work hard for success, you think it'll make everything better. But sometimes it brings new challenges. It can be tough to handle the pressure of staying successful. You might worry about losing what you've gained or feel like you always have to top your last achievement. Success can also change how people treat you. Friends might act differently, maybe even jealous or distant. It can be hard to tell who's genuine and who's just hanging around because of your success. Another danger is getting so wrapped up in success that it's all you think about. It's like being stuck in a game where the score is all that matters. You forget to enjoy the game itself. You might miss out on other parts of life like spending time with family or doing things just for fun. Success isn't bad, but it's important to remember that it's not a cure-all. It's just one part of life. It's about finding a balance and

remembering that who you are is more important than what you achieve. It's about enjoying the journey, not just rushing to the destination. idea 18: the concept of Manson's Law of Avoidance. Manson's Law of Avoidance is kind of like when you have a big pile of dirty dishes in the sink, and you keep walking by pretending not to see them. The longer you ignore them, the worse it gets, and you start to dread doing them more and more. This law says that the more something scares us or makes us feel uncomfortable, the more we try to avoid it. But the catch is, the more we avoid it, the scarier and more uncomfortable it becomes. It's like a snowball rolling down a hill, getting bigger and scarier the longer it rolls. Let's say you're afraid of talking to new people. The more you avoid it, the bigger and scarier the idea becomes. You start thinking of all the things that could go wrong, and it feels easier just not to try. But here's the twist: when you

finally face what you're avoiding. It's usually not as bad as you thought. It's like finally doing those dishes and realizing it only took 10 minutes and it wasn't that bad after all. So this law is a reminder that avoiding stuff can make our fears grow, but when we face them, we often find out they're not as scary as we made them out to be. It's about not letting fear call the shots and learning that we can handle more than we think. Idea 19: Choosing struggle. Choosing struggle is about realizing that life is always going to have tough parts, no matter what. It's not about finding a life without problems because that's possible. Instead, it's about picking the problems you're willing to deal with. Think about it like choosing a pet. Every pet, whether it's a dog, a cat, or a lizard, is going to need care and will sometimes be a hassle, but you choose the pet whose problems you don't mind, like walking a dog or cleaning a cat's litter box. In life, everything worth doing is going to be

hard. In some way, if you want to be a great musician, you have to practice a lot, even when you don't feel like it. If you want a strong relationship, you have to work through disagreements and tough times. Choosing struggle means asking yourself, What struggles am I willing to put up with? It's about knowing that the good stuff in life comes with challenges and being okay with that. It's not about avoiding hard things but about choosing the hard things that matter to you. It's like saying, Yeah, this is tough, but it's worth it because it's leading me to something I really want. Idea 20: Death as an effective motivator. Thinking about death might sound super gloomy, but it's actually a way to give yourself a kick in the pants to live better. It's like when your phone's battery is dying and you suddenly stop wasting time and start doing the important stuff. When you remember that life's not going to last forever, it's like a wakeup call. You start asking yourself, Am I really doing what I want?

with my life it makes all the small stuff seem less important. Like someone's mean comment or missing a bus. Imagine life is a big party and knowing it's going to end makes you want to dance like nobody's watching. Tell your friends you love them and eat that extra slice of cake. It's about making the most of the time you've got. So thinking about the end isn't about being scared or sad. It's about lighting a fire under you to make your life what you want it to be. It's a reminder to care about the stuff that really matters and to let go of the small worries. It's like saying, Hey, this ride's not going to last forever so I might as well make it a good one. Idea 21: The Backwards Law. The Backwards Law is a pretty wild idea. It's like saying the more you chase after something like happiness or success, the more it's going to run away from you. It's like when you're super hungry and you can't open a jar of pickles. The more

you try to twist it open, the more your hand slips, and the lid just won't budge. This law suggests that the best way to get what you want is to actually stop chasing it so hard. It's like when you stop thinking about how to open the jar, take a deep breath, and then it just pops open. Or when you're not trying to impress someone, and they suddenly find you super cool. So, this law is about chilling out and not being so obsessed with what you want. It's about being okay with how things are right now, even if they're not perfect. It's like saying, Hey, it's cool where I am, and I don't need to be so worked up about getting somewhere else. When you do that, you're not so stressed, and funny enough, things start to work out. It's like life has a sense of humor. When you stop caring so much, it gives you what you wanted all along. Idea 22: The Importance of Context. This idea is all about understanding that stuff doesn't just happen in a

vacuum. Everything's got a setting, a background, and it's super important. It's like watching a movie. You can't just look at one scene and think you get the whole story. You've got to know what happened before, what the characters are all about, and where they're coming from in life. It's the same deal. Say you get cut off in traffic. You might think, What a jerk. But what if you knew that person was rushing to the hospital? That changes the whole picture, right? That's context. It's like having the big picture. It's also about understanding that different places and times can change how you should act or what you should care about. Like being loud and funny might be cool at a party, but not so much at a library. So, this idea says, Hey, pay attention to the bigger picture. It's about seeing more than just what's right in front of you. It helps you make better choices and understand things in a way that's not just black and white. Life's got a lot of gray areas, and context helps you

navigate through them idea 23 pleasure versus happiness. All right, so there's this common mix-up people have about feeling good and being truly happy. They're not the same thing. Feeling good is like when you eat your favorite ice cream or binge-watch your favorite show. It's fun, it's nice, but it doesn't last. You're chasing that quick hit of joy, that's pleasure. Now happiness, that's the real deal. It's not about those quick fixes, it's about the long game. It's when you feel good about your life as a whole, not just one moment. Happiness comes from overcoming challenges, from knowing you've grown as a person, and from building deep meaningful stuff like relationships or skills. Here's the kicker: sometimes what makes you truly happy doesn't feel good right away. Think about working out. It can be tough and not fun in the moment, but afterwards you feel awesome, right? That's because you did something good for yourself, something that contributes to your happiness in the long run. So when you're chasing those quick pleasures, you might be missing out on

what can genuinely make you happy? It's like eating candy when you're hungry. It fixes the problem for a moment, but it's not really nourishing you. Understanding the difference can help you make choices that'll lead to real happiness, not just temporary pleasure. It's about playing the long game and focusing on what really adds value to your life. Idea 24: Maturity as a Metric Maturity. It's a word we all hear a lot, but what does it really mean? It's not just about getting older or having responsibilities. It's about how you handle life's curve balls. Think of it like this: life's going to throw some tough stuff your way, that's a given. Maturity is about how you respond to those situations. When things don't go your way, do you throw a fit, blame everyone else, or sulk about it? Or do you take a deep breath, look at what happened, and try to learn from it? That learning and growing part, that's maturity. It's also about figuring out what you can actually control and what you can't. There's no use getting all worked up

over stuff you have zero control over. It's like being mad that it's raining. Can't change it, right? Mature folks focus on what they can change: their own actions and attitudes. Maturity is also about owning your mistakes. Nobody's perfect; we all mess up. But do you make excuses, or do you own it, apologize if needed, and try to do better next time? That's the mature way to handle it. And here's a big one: mature people know they don't know everything. They're open to learning, to new ideas, to changing their minds. They ask questions, they listen, and they're not too proud to admit when they're wrong. So, maturity, it's like this invisible yardstick measuring how you deal with life, how you grow, and how you treat yourself and others. It's not about your age; it's about your attitude. Idea 25: rejection of black and white thinking. Life isn't always black and white. It's not just about good guys and bad guys, successes and failures, or right and wrong. Reality is way more colorful and complicated than that. When

we only see things as one way or the other. we're missing out on a whole lot. take people for example. nobody's all good or all bad. we're all a mix, doing our best, sometimes getting it right, sometimes messing up. same goes for experiences. that job you didn't get or the relationship that ended might feel like a total loss at first. but when you look closer, you'll often find valuable lessons and new opportunities hidden inside those so-called failures. by getting stuck in black and white thinking, you're actually making life hard for yourself. it's like putting on blinders and missing out on the full picture. life's richness comes from its shades and nuances. just like a photograph, it's the contrast and range of tones that give depth and beauty. it's cool to have strong beliefs and values, but being too rigid can be a trap. it can stop you from seeing other perspectives and learning new things. being open to the graze in life doesn't mean you're wishy-washy or that you don't stand for

anything it means you're strong and confident enough to consider different viewpoints and adapt when you need to so ditch the black and white glasses and start seeing the world in full color it's not always easy but it's a lot more real and a whole lot more interesting idea 26 acceptance of imperfection all right let's talk about imperfection it's everywhere right in you in me in everything we do and that's not a bad thing it's just how life Works chasing after Perfection is like running after the wind you'll never catch it and that's okay you know when you're scrolling through your phone seeing all those perfect lives well they're not real those pictures are just snapshots tiny moments that look great but behind those moments there's a bunch of not so perfect stuff you don't see life's messy unpredictable and sometimes downright tough now think about your own life you've got flaws sure but who doesn't those flaws make you unique they tell your story when you mess up you learn

you grow. If you were perfect, life would be pretty damn boring. Mistakes spice things up, give you challenges to tackle, and stories to tell. Accepting imperfection doesn't mean you give up trying to be better. It means you're cool with being human, you're real. You know that sometimes you'll nail it, and other times you won't, and that's fine. It's about doing your best, not being the best. So cut yourself some slack, laugh off the Goof UPS, learn from the face plants, and keep rolling because at the end of the day, it's not about having a Flawless story, it's about having a real one, and that's a whole lot more interesting idea 27 challenging The Cult of exceptionalism. There's this big idea floating around that to be worth something, you've got to be extraordinary, the best above everything, everyone else. It's like everyone's racing to be the most unique, most successful, most whatever, and if you're not at the top, well, you're just not good enough. But here's the thing, that's a pretty rough.

way to live. If everyone's trying to be a superstar, that means most folks are going to end up feeling pretty lousy about themselves. Because let's face it, we can't all be the richest, the smartest, the most famous. Most of us are just regular people living regular lives. And you know what? That's totally fine. Real life isn't like a movie where every day is an epic adventure. For most folks, life's about smaller moments: a good laugh with friends, a cozy night in, the satisfaction of a job well done. These things might not be headline news, but they're what make up a life, and they're worth celebrating. When you're constantly chasing this idea of being exceptional, you miss out on a lot of good stuff. You're always looking ahead, never where you are. But the real magic's in the everyday. It's in being a good friend, a loving family member, a helpful neighbor. That stuff might not win you awards, but it makes life richer. So maybe it's time to let go of this pressure to be

extraordinary and just be okay with being you. You've got your own mix of talents, quirks, and yes, even flaws, and that mix, it's one of a kind. So instead of always reaching for the Stars, don't forget to enjoy the view from right where you are, because that view's pretty damn good too. Idea 28: the role of values in decision making. All right, let's talk about the choices we make and what's behind them. You know, every day you're making a bunch of choices, from small stuff like what to eat for breakfast to big life decisions. But ever stop to think about what's steering these choices? Well, it's your values, the stuff you think is important. Think of values like a company. They guide you through life, pointing you in the direction of what feels right for you. Say you value honesty, you'll probably choose to tell the truth even when it's tough. Or if you're all about adventure, you might pick a job that lets you travel over one that keeps you behind a desk. But here's the tricky bit.

sometimes the values you're living by, they're not really yours. Maybe they're ideas you picked up from other people like your family or friends, or stuff you see on TV or online. And if you're living by values that don't really fit who you are, things can feel off. You might end up in a job you don't like, relationships that don't feel right, or just generally feeling kind of lost. That's why it's super important to get clear on what you really care about. And we're talking about what you deep down think is important, not what you're supposed to think is important. This isn't about impressing anyone or ticking boxes. It's about figuring out what makes you tick. Once you've got a handle on your true values, decision making gets a lot simpler. You've got this inner guidebook to help you figure out which path to take. It's like having a personal set of directions for your life. And when you're making choices based on what you really care about, life starts to feel a lot

more meaningful. You're not just going through the motions. You're building a life that's true to you. So take some time to think about what matters most to you. What do you stand for? What gets you fired up? The answers to these questions, they're like gold dust. They'll help you make decisions that lead to a life that feels damn good, because it's a life that's uniquely yours. If you like this video, make sure to check our app, Morphosis. It has hundreds of videos like this one, and you can watch it with the 7-day free trial offer we have. Just click the button in the description and start learning today. And don't forget to like this video and subscribe to our channel so you get notified when we upload free videos.

The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck By Mark Manson - Detailed Animated Book Summary

BookWatch

이 영상은 마크 맨슨의 '신경 끄기의 기술'을 요약하며, 긍정적인 메시지에 대한 맹신을 버리고 삶의 어려움을 선택하는 것이 중요하다고 강조합니다.

이 책에서는 무한한 에너지와 관심을 현명하게 사용하는 방법, 부정적인 경험을 수용하는 것의 중요성, 그리고 평범함을 받아들이는 것의 가치에 대해 설명합니다.

또한 고통의 가치, 책임감, 불확실성 속에서 성장하는 방법, 실패를 통한 발전, 거절의 중요성, 그리고 죽음을 삶의 동기로 활용하는 방법 등을 다룹니다.

마크 맨슨의 '신경 끄기의 기술' 소개

끊임없는 긍정주의와 성공 지향적 메시지에 지친 사람들을 위한 새로운 관점을 제시.

인생은 고통과 실패를 피하는 것이 아니라, 자신에게 가장 중요한 고통을 선택하는 것.

개인의 성장을 위해 부정적인 경험을 수용하고 삶의 책임을 지며, 가치관에 헌신하는 방법 모색.

첫 번째 아이디어: 신경 끄기의 철학

에너지와 관심을 중요한 것에 집중하고, 사소한 일에 낭비하지 않는 것이 핵심.

선택적으로 관심을 기울여 삶을 단순하고 명확하게 만들 수 있음.

두 번째 아이디어: 부정적인 경험 포용

어려운 경험을 성장의 기회로 삼고, 인내와 이해를 연습.

일상의 어려움과 좌절을 통해 회복력을 키우고 삶의 전체 스펙트럼을 받아들임.

세 번째 아이디어: 특별하지 않다는 것을 인정

비현실적인 기대에서 벗어나 평범함 속에서 만족을 찾음.

개인의 성장, 공감, 이해를 증진시키는 방법.

네 번째 아이디어: 고통의 가치

고통은 중립적이며, 그 이유와 의미에 따라 가치가 달라짐.

가치 있는 것을 위해 겪는 고통은 강력한 변화의 경험이 될 수 있음.

다섯 번째 아이디어: 책임감 갖기

자신의 선택, 행동, 반응이 현실을 형성한다는 것을 이해.

상황을 통제할 수 없을 때에도 반응을 통제할 수 있다는 점 강조.

여섯 번째 아이디어: 불확실성을 성장의 기반으로 삼기

새로운 것을 배우고, 적응하며, 강점을 발견하는 과정은 불확실성에서 시작됨.

불확실성을 수용하는 것은 삶을 풍요롭게 하고, 더 깊고 활기차게 만듦.

일곱 번째 아이디어: 실패는 앞으로 나아가는 방법

실패는 좌절이 아닌 디딤돌이며, 성장의 일부.

실패를 통해 배우고, 한계를 극복하며, 회복력을 키울 수 있음.

여덟 번째 아이디어: 거절의 중요성

거절은 경계를 설정하고, 시간을 보호하며, 우선순위를 지키는 방법.

자신의 한계를 존중하고, 더 나은 기회를 위한 공간을 만듦.

아홉 번째 아이디어: 쾌락의 쳇바퀴 거부

새로운 것에 대한 일시적인 즐거움에서 벗어나 현재 가진 것에 감사.

행복은 목적지가 아닌 삶의 방식이며, 관계의 질과 세상과의 교류 방식에 달려있음.

열 번째 아이디어: 죽음을 삶의 동기로 활용

유한한 시간을 인지함으로써 진정으로 중요한 것에 집중하고 가치관에 따라 살도록 동기 부여.

현재를 소중히 여기고 의미 있는 삶을 살도록 격려.

열한 번째 아이디어: 과실과 책임을 분리

상황의 원인과 관계없이 상황을 책임지고 대처하는 것의 중요성.

책임감을 갖는 것은 삶의 주도권을 잡고 긍정적으로 나아가는 방법.

열두 번째 아이디어: 헌신의 중요성

에너지와 시간을 가장 중요한 것에 집중하고 다른 가능성을 거절하는 선택.

헌신은 성장을 촉진하고 깊은 관계를 형성하며 목적의식을 제공.

열세 번째 아이디어: '무언가를 하라' 원칙

완벽한 순간이나 동기를 기다리지 말고 행동을 시작하여 동기 부여를 얻는다는 개념.

작은 행동이 연쇄 반응을 일으켜 영감을 주고 더 많은 행동을 유발.

열네 번째 아이디어: 당연함 거부

자신이 누구인지에 따라 무언가를 받을 자격이 있다는 생각을 버리는 것.

노력과 행동을 통해 원하는 것을 얻고 삶을 개척하는 책임감을 강조.

열다섯 번째 아이디어: 경계의 중요성

자신과 타인 사이의 경계를 명확히 설정하여 존중을 유지하고 자기 자신을 보호.

타인이 자신을 어떻게 대하는지 통제하고 자신의 삶을 주도하는 방법.

열여섯 번째 아이디어: 가치관 재구성

자신에게 중요한 가치를 재평가하고 새로운 가치를 선택하여 삶을 개선.

진정으로 의미 있는 것에 집중하고 작은 일에 덜 신경 쓰는 삶을 추구.

열일곱 번째 아이디어: 성공의 위험

성공은 새로운 도전과 압박을 가져올 수 있으며, 인간 관계에 영향을 미칠 수 있음.

성공에만 매몰되지 않고 삶의 균형을 유지하는 것의 중요성.

열여덟 번째 아이디어: 맨슨의 회피 법칙

두려움이나 불편함을 느끼는 것을 회피할수록 그 대상이 더 두려워진다는 법칙.

두려움을 직면하면 예상보다 덜 무서울 수 있다는 점을 강조.

열아홉 번째 아이디어: 고통 선택

인생에는 항상 어려움이 따르므로, 어떤 어려움을 감수할 것인지 선택하는 것이 중요.

가치 있는 목표를 위해 감수할 수 있는 어려움을 선택하는 삶의 태도.

스무 번째 아이디어: 죽음을 효과적인 동기 부여 수단으로

삶이 유한하다는 것을 기억하면 중요한 것에 집중하고 삶을 개선하도록 동기 부여.

작은 걱정을 버리고 삶을 최대한 활용하도록 격려.

스물한 번째 아이디어: 역행의 법칙

행복이나 성공을 쫓을수록 더 멀어질 수 있다는 역설적인 개념.

집착을 버리고 현재에 만족하면 오히려 원하는 것을 얻을 수 있다는 점 강조.

스물두 번째 아이디어: 맥락의 중요성

모든 것은 맥락 안에서 발생하며, 상황의 배경과 전체적인 그림을 이해하는 것이 중요.

맥락을 고려하여 더 나은 선택을 하고 상황을 더 깊이 이해하도록 도움.

스물세 번째 아이디어: 쾌락 대 행복

일시적인 쾌락과 장기적인 행복은 다르며, 진정한 행복은 도전 극복과 의미 있는 관계에서 비롯됨.

장기적인 가치를 추구하여 진정한 행복을 얻도록 격려.

삶의 어려움에 대처하는 방식, 통제할 수 있는 것과 없는 것을 구별하는 능력, 자신의 실수를 인정하는 태도 등을 통해 성숙도를 측정.

나이에 상관없이 삶에 대한 태도가 성숙도를 결정한다는 점 강조.

스물다섯 번째 아이디어: 흑백 사고 거부

세상을 흑백논리로 보지 않고 다양한 관점을 수용하는 것의 중요성.

삶의 풍요로움은 다양한 관점과 뉘앙스를 통해 얻을 수 있다는 점 강조.

스물여섯 번째 아이디어: 불완전함 수용

자신과 세상의 불완전함을 인정하고, 완벽을 추구하는 대신 현실적인 삶을 살도록 격려.

실수를 통해 배우고 성장하며, 자신만의 이야기를 만들어가는 것의 가치.

스물일곱 번째 아이디어: 탁월함 숭배에 대한 도전

모두가 특별해지려고 노력하는 사회에서 평범한 삶의 가치를 재조명.

일상의 작은 순간들을 소중히 여기고, 현재의 자신을 받아들이는 것의 중요성.

스물여덟 번째 아이디어: 의사 결정에서 가치관의 역할

가치관은 삶의 방향을 제시하고 의사 결정을 안내하는 중요한 요소.

자신의 진정한 가치관에 따라 선택하고, 의미 있는 삶을 구축하도록 격려.

🤔 핵심 철학: 'X나 신경 끄기'란 무엇인가?

이 책의 중심 아이디어는 간단하면서도 심오합니다. 우리 모두는 세상에 쏟을 수 있는 에너지와 관심이 제한되어 있다는 것이죠. **매일 아침 금화 몇 개를 가지고 시작한다고 생각하세요.** 이 금화는 하루 동안 여러분의 관심, 염려, 주의를 나타냅니다.

수많은 것들이 여러분의 금화를 요구합니다. 직업, 가족, 뉴스, 소셜 미디어, 욕망, 두려움 등. 하지만 중요한 것은 모든 것에 금화를 주면 정말 중요한 것들을 위해 남겨둘 것이 없다는 점입니다. **이것이 바로 'X나 신경 끄기' 철학이 필요한 이유입니다.**

이 철학은 아무것에도 신경 쓰지 말라는 의미가 아닙니다. 오히려 무엇에 신경 쓸지를 선택하는 것입니다. **소셜 미디어에서 누가 여러분에 대해 뭐라고 말했는지, 좋아하는 TV 프로그램이 취소되었다는 사실과 같은 것들은 금화를 쓸 가치가 없을 수 있습니다.** 반면에 건강, 가족, 열정적인 프로젝트 등은 더 많은 금화를 받을 자격이 있을 수 있습니다.

인생은 순탄한 여정이 아니라 롤러코스터와 같습니다. 좋을 때도 있고 나쁠 때도 있습니다. 이제 이런 생각을 해봅시다. **나쁜 시간, 힘든 경험이 단순한 장애물이 아니라 여정의 중요한 부분이라면 어떨까요?** 그것들이 우리가 성장하고 배우고 강해지는 데 필수적이라면요?

종종 나쁜 일이 생기면 우리의 첫 번째 반응은 그것을 밀어내거나 피하거나 오락으로 덮으려고 합니다. 하지만 대신 그 힘든 시간을 받아들이고 똑바로 쳐다본다고 상상해 보세요. **고통을 즐기거나 문제를 찾는 것이 아니라 어려운 순간에서 가치를 보는 것입니다.**

열심히 노력했던 일에 실패하는 것과 같이 힘든 일을 겪을 때, 쏘고 아프지만 그 고통에는 교훈이 있습니다. **회복력에 대한 것일 수도 있고, 이전에는 고려하지 않았던 다른 길을 보여줄 수도 있습니다.** 심지어 얼마나 원하는지 깨닫게 하여 다시 시도하도록 불을 붙일 수도 있습니다.

🌱 평범함 속에서 찾기: 특별하지 않다는 것을 받아들이기

70억 명이 넘는 세상에서 가장 독특하고 특별하며 성공적일 가능성은 희박합니다. **자신만의 특별한 자질이 없거나 위대한 일을 성취할 수 없다는 의미는 아닙니다.**

어린 시절부터 우리는 무엇이든 될 수 있다고 듣습니다. 우리는 독특하고 위대함을 위해 예정되어 있다고 말이죠. 이것은 격려하기 위한 것이지만 때로는 역효과를 낼 수 있습니다. **평범한 것이 최악의 일이라는 생각을 심어주고, 두드러지지 않으면 실패하는 것이라고 느끼게 합니다.**

끊임없이 소수만이 현실적으로 도달할 수 있는 정점을 향해 노력하는 대신, 일상에서 만족을 찾으면 어떨까요? **목표를 포기하거나 최선을 다하지 않는 것이 아니라, 화려한 업적보다 더 개인적이고 의미 있는 방식으로 성공을 측정하는 것입니다.**

💪 고통의 가치: 의미 있는 삶의 필수 요소

고통은 피해야 할 대상으로 보일 수 있습니다. 고통스럽고 불편하며 종종 불쾌하게 느껴집니다. 하지만 그 힘든 순간에 숨겨진 가치가 있다면 어떨까요? **당신이 직면하는 어려움과 도전이 실제로 의미 있는 삶의 필수적인 부분이라면요?**

정말로 중요하게 생각하는 것을 위해 고통을 겪었던 시간을 생각해 보세요. 열정적인 프로젝트를 마치기 위해 밤샘을 하거나, 운동 목표를 달성하기 위해 힘든 운동을 견디거나, 사랑과 회복력에 대해 가르쳐준 가슴 아픈 일을 겪는 것과 같이, **그 고통은 목적이 있었고 깊이 보람 있는 성장, 학습 또는 업적으로 이어졌을 것입니다.**

고통은 그 자체로 좋거나 나쁜 것이 아닙니다. 중립적입니다. **그것을 뒷받침하는 이유, 당신이 부여하는 의미가 그 가치를 정의합니다.** 당신의 가치, 사랑하는 사람들, 꿈과 같이 당신에게 깊이 중요한 것을 위해 고통을 겪을 때, 그것은 강력하고 변혁적인 경험이 될 수 있습니다.

⚖️ 책임감 갖기: 삶의 주인이 되기

책임감을 갖는 것은 강력한 개념입니다. 좋든 나쁘든 자신의 삶을 소유하고, 자신의 선택, 행동, 반응이 현실을 형성한다는 것을 이해하는 것입니다. **자신에게 일어나는 모든 일이 자신의 잘못이라는 의미는 아닙니다.** 인생은 무작위적이고 불공평할 수 있으며, 통제할 수 없는 커브볼을 던질 수 있습니다.

다른 사람이 차를 들이받았다고 가정해 봅시다. 그것은 당신의 잘못이 아닙니다. 당신이 일으킨 것이 아닙니다. 하지만 이제 선택의 여지가 있습니다. **분노와 좌절에 휩싸여 하루를 망칠 수도 있고, 침착하게 상황을 처리하고 보험을 처리하고 넘어갈 수도 있습니다.** 사고는 당신의 잘못이 아니었지만, 그것을 처리하는 방법은 당신의 책임입니다.

책임감을 갖는다는 것은 비난 게임을 하지 않는다는 의미입니다. 손가락질하고 변명하고, X, Y 또는 Z 때문에 행복할 수 없다고 말하기 쉽지만, 그러한 사고방식은 당신을 갇히게 하고 무력하게 만듭니다. **책임감을 가질 때 통제력을 되찾습니다.**

🤔 불확실성을 성장의 발판으로 삼기

불확실성은 꽤 무서울 수 있습니다. 다음 굽이에 무엇이 있는지 모르는 안개 낀 길을 걷는 것과 같습니다. 하지만 여기 반전이 있습니다. **그 모르는 것, 불확실성이 실제로 성장이 일어나는 토양이 될 수 있습니다.** 배우고, 적응하도록 밀어붙여지고, 몰랐던 강점을 발견하는 곳입니다.

새로운 것을 배웠던 시간을 생각해 보세요. 아마도 불확실성으로 시작했을 것입니다. 새로운 직장의 첫날이거나 처음으로 취미를 시도했을 때였을 것입니다. 불편하게 느껴졌죠? **무엇을 기대해야 할지 몰랐습니다. 실수를 하고, 진행하면서 알아내야 했습니다.**

익숙하고 확실한 것에 머무르는 것은 편안하지만 제한적입니다. 작은 빛의 원 안에 머무르는 것과 같습니다. **그 원 안의 모든 것을 알지만, 놓치고 있는 그림자 속의 전체 세계가 있습니다.** 불확실성 속으로 들어가는 것은 그 빛의 원을 확장하는 것과 같습니다.

 🚀 실패는 앞으로 나아가는 길

실패는 종종 나쁜 평판을 받습니다. 손실, 고통, 일이 잘 풀리지 않는 것과 관련이 있습니다. 하지만 다른 방식으로 생각해 봅시다. **실패는 실제로 걸림돌이 아니라 발판입니다.** 뒤로 물러서는 것이 아니라 앞으로 나아가는 과정의 일부입니다.

무언가를 시도했는데 잘 풀리지 않으면 실망감을 느끼는 것은 당연합니다. 하지만 그 실망감 속에는 정보의 금광이 숨겨져 있습니다. **모든 실패는 변장한 교훈입니다.** 무엇이 효과가 없는지 보여주고, 다른 접근 방식을 시도하도록 촉구합니다.

또한 실패는 한계를 밀어붙이고 새로운 영역으로 진출하고 있다는 증거입니다. **아무것도 실패하지 않는다면 안전하게 행동하고 이미 할 수 있는 것을 고수하고 있을 가능성이 큽니다.** 하지만 성장은 안전지대에서 일어나지 않고, 도전과 시험을 받는 미지의 영역에서 일어납니다.

 🚫 '아니오'라고 말하는 것의 중요성

'아니오'라고 말하는 것은 어려울 수 있습니다. 작은 단어이지만 많은 무게를 지니고 있습니다. **우리는 종종 다른 사람을 실망시키거나, 기회를 놓치거나, 무례하게 보일까 봐 걱정합니다.** 하지만 중요한 것은 '아니오'라고 말하는 것이 중요하다는 것입니다. 경계를 설정하고, 시간을 보호하고, 우선순위를 지키는 방법입니다.

무언가에 '예'라고 말할 때마다, 당신이 깨닫든 못 깨닫든 다른 무언가에는 '아니오'라고 말하는 것입니다. 하루에는 시간이 제한되어 있고, 약속으로 가득 채우면 정말 중요한 것들을 위한 공간이 줄어듭니다. **그렇기 때문에 선택적이어야 하고, 자신의 가치에 맞지 않거나 기쁨이나 만족을 가져다주지 않는 것에는 '아니오'라고 말하는 것이 중요합니다.**

또한 자신의 한계를 존중하는 것입니다. 당신은 기계가 아닌 인간입니다. 휴식이 필요하고, 개인적인 관심사가 있으며, 삶에서 중요한 사람들이 있습니다. **'아니오'라고 말하는 것은 그러한 필요를 존중하고 소진되지 않도록 하는 방법입니다.**

쾌락의 쳇바퀴는 특히 우리를 행복하게 만드는 것과 관련하여 삶의 변화에 익숙해지는 방식을 설명하는 용어입니다. 행복에 도달하기 위해 쳇바퀴를 달리는 것과 같습니다. **급여 인상이나 새 차와 같이 새로운 것에서 기쁨을 느끼지만, 곧 더 많은 것을 원하게 됩니다.** 그것은 끝없는 순환입니다.

이 쳇바퀴는 우리를 속여 다음 큰 것, 다음 업적 또는 구매가 우리를 행복하게 만들 것이라고 생각하게 만듭니다. 하지만 일단 얻으면 흥분이 사라지고 다시 사냥을 시작합니다. **그것은 막대기에 매달린 당근을 쫓는 것과 같습니다. 결코 잡을 수 없습니다.**

이 순환에서 벗어나는 것은 초점을 바꾸는 것을 의미합니다. 더 많은 돈, 더 많은 물건, 더 많은 찬사와 같이 끊임없이 더 많은 것을 추구하는 대신, 자신이 가진 것에 감사하는 것입니다. **작은 것에서 기쁨을 찾고, 행복은 모든 것을 최고로 갖는 것이 아니라 자신이 가진 모든 것을 최고로 만드는 것에 있다는 것을 인식하는 것입니다.**

죽음은 가장 편안한 주제가 아닙니다. 종종 생각하는 것을 피하지만, 삶에서 몇 안 되는 확실한 것 중 하나입니다. **죽음에 대한 인식이 실제로 더 충만하게 살도록 강력한 동기가 될 수 있습니다.**

우리의 시간이 제한되어 있다는 것을 알면 우리에게 불을 붙일 수 있습니다. 정말 중요한 것을 평가하고 행동으로 옮기도록 우리를 밀어붙일 수 있습니다. **일상, 작은 걱정, 사소한 일에 사로잡히기 쉽습니다.** 하지만 더 큰 그림을 생각하면 그 많은 것들이 더 이상 중요하게 보이지 않습니다.

죽음에 대해 생각하면 가치와 남기고 싶은 것에 대한 초점을 맞출 수 있습니다. **무엇으로 기억되고 싶은가? 또는 어떤 영향을 미치고 싶은가?** 와 같은 질문을 스스로에게 던지게 할 수 있습니다. 이것들은 병적인 질문이 아니라 명확하게 하는 질문입니다.

책임과 책임을 분리하는 것은 둘 사이의 차이점을 이해하고 통제할 수 있는 것을 아는 것입니다. **책임은 상황에 대한 책임이 누구에게 있는지에 대한 것입니다. 반면에 책임은 누가 일으켰는지에 관계없이 상황을 책임지는 것입니다.**

폭풍이 집을 손상시켰다고 상상해 봅시다. 당신의 잘못이 아닙니다. 당신이 폭풍을 일으킨 것이 아닙니다. 하지만 손상을 수리하는 것은 당신의 책임입니다. **날씨를 탓하며 시간을 보낼 수도 있지만 아무것도 바뀌지 않습니다.** 책임감을 갖는다는 것은 상황을 개선하기 위해 행동을 취하는 것을 의미합니다.

이 아이디어는 인생에도 적용됩니다. 나쁜 일은 종종 갑자기 일어납니다. 항상 공평하지 않고 항상 당신의 잘못도 아니지만, **당신은 어떻게 반응할지 선택할 수 있습니다.** 다른 사람이나 상황을 탓하는 데 갇히거나, 앞으로 어떻게 나아갈지에 대한 책임을 질 수 있습니다.

헌신은 무거운 단어처럼 들릴 수 있지만, 실제로는 자유에 대한 것입니다. 무언가에 헌신할 때, 당신은 자신의 에너지와 시간을 자신에게 가장 중요한 것에 집중하기로 선택하는 것입니다. **수천 가지 다른 가능성에 '아니오'라고 말하고 하나의 길, 하나의 관계, 하나의 목표에 '예'라고 말하는 것입니다.**

헌신하지 않으면 흩어져 있고, 조금은 여기저기 있지만 완전히 빠져들지는 않습니다. **어디든 한 번에 모든 토끼를 잡으려고 하는 것과 같습니다. 결국 아무것도 잡지 못합니다.** 헌신은 그 반대입니다. 토끼를 선택하고 가진 모든 것을 다해 쫓는 것입니다.

헌신하는 것은 쉽지 않습니다. 어려운 결정을 내려야 한다는 의미입니다. 좋은 기회를 위대한 기회를 위해 포기해야 할 때도 있다는 의미입니다. **초기 흥분이 사라지고 힘든 일만 남았을 때도 무언가를 고수한다는 의미입니다.** 하지만 바로 그곳에서 마법이 일어납니다.

무언가를 하라 원칙은 완벽한 순간이나 느낌을 기다려 행동을 취하는 순환을 깨는 것입니다. **단순하면서도 강력한 아이디어입니다. 무언가를 할 동기가 생길 때까지 기다리지 말고, 동기를 얻기 위해 무언가를 하십시오.** 종종 우리는 영감을 받거나 자신감이 생겨야 과제를 시작하거나 목표를 추구해야 한다고 생각하지만, 적절한 느낌을 기다리면 많은 기다림이 생기고 많은 일을 하지 못하게 됩니다.

무언가를 하라 원칙은 이것을 뒤집습니다. 시작하면 감정이 따라올 것이라고 말합니다. **작은 발걸음을 내딛는 것만으로도 연쇄 반응을 시작할 수 있습니다.** 행동은 영감으로 이어지고, 영감은 더 많은 행동으로 이어집니다. 자동차를 미는 것과 같습니다. 가장 어려운 부분은 움직이게 하는 것이지만, 일단 굴러가기 시작하면 계속 굴러가게 하는 데 노력이 덜 듭니다.

이 원칙은 집 청소에서 큰 프로젝트 작업에 이르기까지 모든 것에 적용됩니다. 설거지하기 싫으세요? 하나만 시작하십시오. **종종 시작하면 계속 진행하고 작업을 완료하기가 더 쉽습니다.** 또한 추진력에 대한 것입니다.

당연함 거부는 당신이 누구이기 때문에 무언가를 받을 자격이 있다는 생각을 없애는 것입니다. **성공, 사랑, 존경은 주어지는 것이 아니라 얻어지는 것이라는 사고방식입니다.** 당연하다고 느끼면 세상이 당신에게 빚지고 있다고 생각하는 것을 주기를 기다리고 있습니다.

당연함에서 벗어나는 것은 소매를 걷어붙이고 일하는 것입니다. **무언가를 원한다면 나가서 만들어야 한다는 것을 이해하는 것입니다.** 노력과 행동에 대한 것입니다. 또한 겸손에 대한 것입니다. 당신이 우주의 중심이 아니라는 것을 인식하고, 모든 사람이 어려움을 겪고 있으며, 세상이 당신에게 아무것도 빚지지 않았다는 것을 인식하는 것입니다.

이것은 당신이 중요하지 않거나 가치 없다는 의미가 아닙니다. 당신의 가치는 당신이 가진 것 또는 얻는 것이 아니라, 당신이 하는 일과 다른 사람을 대하는 방식에 달려 있다는 의미입니다. **당연함을 거부하면 권한 부여감이 생깁니다.** 당신을 운전석에 앉힙니다.

경계의 중요성은 당신이 어디에서 끝나고 다른 사람이 어디에서 시작하는지 아는 것입니다. 집 주변에 울타리가 있는 것과 같습니다. 당신의 재산이 어디에서 시작하고 끝나는지 보여줍니다. **삶의 경계는 그 울타리와 같습니다. 당신이 무엇을 괜찮다고 생각하고 무엇을 괜찮지 않다고 생각하는지 보여줍니다.**

명확한 경계를 갖는다는 것은 다른 사람에게서 무엇을 받아들일지, 무엇을 받아들이지 않을지 아는 것을 의미합니다. **사람들이 당신을 짓밟는 것을 막고, 평화와 존중을 유지하는 데 도움이 되기 때문에 중요합니다.** 경계는 단순히 '아니오'라고 말하는 것이 아니라, 올바른 것에 '예'라고 말하는 것입니다.

경계를 설정하는 것은 다른 사람을 돌보는 방법이기도 합니다. 사람들이 당신이 무엇을 기대하고 어떻게 당신을 올바르게 대해야 하는지 알도록 돕습니다. **다른 사람이 길을 잃지 않도록 지도를 주는 것과 같습니다.** 모든 사람이 자신의 위치를 알 수 있도록 돕습니다. 하지만 항상 쉬운 것은 아닙니다.

가치관을 재구성하는 것은 우리에게 중요한 것을 자세히 살펴보고, 중요하게 생각할 새로운 것을 선택하는 것입니다. **옷장을 살펴보고 실제로 입는 옷과 공간만 차지하는 옷을 결정하는 것과 같습니다.** 우리 모두는 가치관을 가지고 있습니다. 그것에 대해 많이 생각하지 않더라도요.

그것들은 우리가 사는 규칙과 같고, 중요하다고 생각하는 것과 같습니다. 하지만 때로는 우리를 돕거나 행복하게 하지 않는 가치관을 고수하고 있습니다. **모든 사람이 우리를 좋아하기를 원하거나, 완벽해야 한다고 생각하는 것과 같은 것일 수 있습니다.**

가치관을 재구성한다는 것은 우리 자신에게 '이것들이 정말 내 시간과 에너지를 투자할 가치가 있을까?'라고 묻는 것을 의미합니다. 정직하거나, 친절하거나, 열심히 일하는 것과 같이 삶을 더 좋게 만드는 가치관을 선택하는 것입니다. **자신이 가진 것이 아니라 자신이 누구인지에 대해 기분이 좋아지게 만드는 가치관을 선택하는 것입니다.**

성공의 위험은 당신이 쫓아왔던 것을 얻을 때 올 수 있는 예상치 못한 문제입니다. **마침내 산 정상에 도달했지만, 그곳은 외롭다는 것을 깨닫는 것과 같습니다.** 아니면 생각했던 것만큼 흥미진진하지 않을 수도 있습니다.

성공을 위해 열심히 일할 때 모든 것이 더 나아질 것이라고 생각합니다. 하지만 때로는 새로운 도전을 가져옵니다. **성공을 유지하는 압력을 처리하기 어려울 수 있습니다.** 얻은 것을 잃을까 봐 걱정하거나, 항상 마지막 업적을 뛰어넘어야 한다고 느낄 수 있습니다.

성공은 또한 사람들이 당신을 대하는 방식을 바꿀 수 있습니다. 친구는 다르게 행동할 수 있고, 질투하거나 멀어질 수도 있습니다. **누가 진실한지, 누가 성공 때문에 어울리는지 알기 어려울 수 있습니다.** 또 다른 위험은 성공에 너무 몰두하여 그것만 생각하는 것입니다.

회피의 법칙은 싱크대에 더러운 접시가 쌓여 있을 때 모른 척 지나가는 것과 같습니다. **무시할수록 상황은 악화되고, 점점 더 끔찍하게 느껴집니다.** 이 법칙은 우리를 두렵게 하거나 불편하게 만드는 것일수록, 더 피하려고 한다고 말합니다.

하지만 중요한 것은 피할수록 더 무섭고 불편해진다는 것입니다. 언덕을 굴러 내려오는 눈덩이처럼, 굴러갈수록 더 커지고 무서워집니다. **새로운 사람과 이야기하는 것을 두려워한다고 가정해 봅시다.** 피할수록 아이디어는 더 커지고 무서워집니다.

하지만 여기에 반전이 있습니다. 마침내 피하고 있는 것에 직면할 때, 보통 생각했던 것만큼 나쁘지 않습니다. **마침내 접시를 씻고 10분밖에 걸리지 않았고 그렇게 나쁘지 않았다는 것을 깨닫는 것과 같습니다.**

투쟁을 선택하는 것은 인생은 항상 힘든 부분이 있을 것이라는 것을 깨닫는 것입니다. **문제가 없는 삶을 찾는 것이 아니라, 기꺼이 감당할 문제를 선택하는 것입니다.** 애완동물을 선택하는 것과 같이 생각하십시오. 개, 고양이, 도마뱀이든 모든 애완동물은 돌봄이 필요하고 때로는 번거롭습니다.