관계의 딜레마: 사랑과 문화적 차이 탐색하기

### 복잡한 관계 탐색하기 진심 어린 딜레마와 문화적 특이점
* 💔 40대 중반의 남성 댄은 **불치병 진단을 받은 필리핀 여자친구**에 대한 가슴 아픈 이야기를 들려주며, 미국에서 자신의 삶을 유지하면서 멀리서 그녀를 부양하기 위해 고군분투하는 사랑과 현실 사이에서 갈등하게 됩니다.
* 💸 그는 그녀에 대한 깊은 사랑과 그녀의 의료비 관리의 어려움을 표현하며, **필리핀에서 영원히 살 수 없다는 현실**을 직시하면서도 돕고 싶어 하는 감정적 혼란을 강조합니다.
* 😟 이 조언은 그가 처한 상황이 어렵다는 점을 강조하며 **미래에 대해 더 명확하게 생각할 수 있을 때까지 당분간은 현재 상태를 유지**해야 할 수도 있음을 시사합니다.
* 😩 영국의 게리는 **피부과 의사와 추파를 던지는 꿈**을 보고 바람을 피운다고 비난한 여자친구와의 코믹하면서도 좌절스러운 경험을 이야기하며 **필리핀 사람들의 전설적인 질투심**을 보여줬습니다.
* 🤔 이 답변은 문화적 미신과 불안감이 섞여 있다는 점을 지적하며 **질투는 관계의 초기 단계**에서 비롯될 수 있음을 상기시키고 게리에게 걱정을 덜기 위해 **새로운 의사를 찾아야 할 수도 있다**고 제안합니다.
* 💤 스웨덴의 고란은 여자 친구가 잠자는 동안 친밀감을 조장하는 것 같은 기이한 상황에 대해 이야기하며 **필리핀 관계에서 동의와 친밀감에 관한 문화적 관행**에 대해 질문합니다.
* 🌙 이 조언은 이러한 행동이 널리 퍼진 문화적 규범은 아니지만 **여자 친구의 개인적인 취향**일 수 있음을 인정하고, 서로의 욕망과 경계에 대해 공개적으로 소통할 것을 촉구합니다.
* 💭 진행자는 **쫓기는 소름 끼치는 악몽, 기분 좋은 비행 꿈 등 반복되는 꿈**에 대한 개인적인 일화를 공유하며 청취자들이 자신의 꿈과 그 뒤에 숨겨진 의미를 생각해 볼 수 있도록 초대합니다.

댄은 병에 걸린 필리핀 여자친구를 부양할지, 미국에서의 자신의 삶을 추구할지 사이에서 가슴 아픈 딜레마에 직면합니다.

hi folks, the Filip here, and it's finally time for another mailbag Friday. I always enjoy reading your questions, and I'm flattered that you turn to me for advice when it comes to your relationships with Filipinas. And as always, we've got some good ones: a man who's in an unacceptable position with no way out, a Filipino who's on the war path because of a dream, and a man whose girlfriend made a surprising offer at bedtime. So sit back and get ready to hear a bunch of people's problems; just be glad they're not yours. So let's start with Danant T from the US. Dan writes, Hi P, I've got a really unusual situation. I'll be the judge of that. I think I've heard just about everything by now, but you guys keep surprising me, so we'll see. I'm fairly young compared to a lot of people on your channel. I'm in my mid-40s, but I look and feel a lot younger than that. After I went through a

bad divorce. I decided to try something different by looking overseas to find the right woman. I fell in love with a wonderful Filipina online and came to the Philippines to be with her. We lived together in Manila for about 5 months, and everything was as perfect as perfect can be. I feel like I did everything right as far as taking my time and getting to know her, and I didn't see any red flags. Her family never asked me for money, and I never caught her in any lies. Good for you, I like the Philippines, okay, but I want to live in the US where I can work again. So, it was my idea to bring her back with me. I was just about to propose to her when it felt like my whole world collapsed. Her health suddenly went downhill, and she was diagnosed with a debilitating condition that may ultimately be fatal. She'll require constant treatment for the rest of her life, and of course, she can't afford it without help. I stayed with her for another month, but I had to return to the US to go back.

to work. I'm currently taking care of all her medical bills, but now what I truly do love this woman, but I just don't know what to do. I'm not rich, but if I tighten my belt, I can continue to care for her for the foreseeable future. She can't come to the US, and I can't live forever in the Philippines, so the best I can do is to visit her when I'm able. Before you ask, this is not some elaborate scam. I was there when she was diagnosed, and I've taken her to the hospital for treatment. I research her condition and talk to her doctors, and what she's going through is real. I could never have imagined a situation like this, but what can I possibly do? If I stop supporting her, her life will be a very short one, and I truly do love her. She's an amazing woman, my dream woman, but at the same time, I have to be realistic. Any ideas? Any help? I've asked my friends and family, but I didn't like what they had to say. Well then, I have to say that's the

most heartbreaking email I've ever gotten, and I'm so sorry for you both right now. My mind is racing in a thousand directions because this really is a tough choice. So, let's take a look at your options. You can support her for the rest of her life and either try to visit her until you could retire here, but the Philippines isn't where you want to live, and retirement's 20 years away, so that's out. You only dated her for 5 months, and you weren't married, so you could turn your back on her and try to forget her, but I don't think you could live with yourself if you did that. I don't think I could either. You could pay her bills but move on with your life and look for a different partner, but you're still in love with her, and you might always be, so your feelings would have to change before you could consider doing that. Oh, Dan, I'm afraid this is the first time in history that I'm truly speechless. I just don't

know what to say. I wish I had some great advice, but I truly don't. I think that ultimately you'll have to do what's best for you, whatever that turns out to be. I think for now I just keep the status quo until my head cleared. As long as the bills aren't causing you to drown. I know that medical bills, um, you know, the expenses here are not that expensive. It's relatively cheap here, so maybe that's an option. Jeez, I really feel like I'm letting you down here, but maybe some of the folks in the comment section can come to the rescue and think of a solution I missed. I'm sure there's going to be some really harsh suggestions, but you know, just read them anyway and let's see if there's any good ideas. So please guys, come on, let's help Dan out, okay? And I really want you to write me back and tell me what's going on again, Dan. I'm truly very sorry. Well, that was depressing, but let's see if the next email lightens the mood.

a little so the next one is from Gary from the UK who writes, I've been suffering with the company of my Filipino girlfriend for the past 2 weeks, and it's through no fault of my own. In fact, it's all in her head. One morning, I woke up to find her not speaking to me, what you call tampo. Despite my best efforts, I couldn't get a word out of her, so I assumed I must have done something horribly wrong. Had I blurted out my ex's name in my sleep? Did she misunderstand something she found on my phone? After hours of this most unfair treatment, she finally unlocked her lips and accused me of cheating. Now, I spent almost every waking moment with this woman, so you can imagine my surprise when I found out it wasn't the waking moments that were the problem. It turns out that she had a dream that I was flirting with my dermatologist. What? She even admitted it was a dream, but it seemed so real that she decided I must be guilty. Thus,

Deserving of the punishment. Talk about thought crimes. I admit that my dermatologist is a beautiful woman and had recently had her inspect a suspicious mole in a delicate area, but I would never even consider ever trying to be more than a patient. Okay, I can handle my girlfriend's sample, and she quieted down a bit, but only after I agreed to find a new doctor. What is this in any way normal behavior? You've talked about how superstitious Filipinos are, but surely they know the difference between reality and dreams, right? Okay, well, Gary, it's definitely true we're superstitious, but I doubt that's what's going on here. If I had to guess, and I do have to guess, I'd say it's a combination of three things: a cute doctor, an intimate inspection, and a jealous Filipina. I know this sounds really immature to you guys, but I can't say enough about the legendary Filipina jealousy. Now you're British, so I'll speak in code; you'll understand maybe.

just for a millisecond. Your girlfriend called you, checking out the doctor's crumpets, or maybe she swore that a cute woman got her hands on your Big Ben. I don't know how long you've been dating, but she might not be past the initial insecurity phase, which for a Filipina can last anywhere from a few weeks to when she's putting flowers on your grave. If that's all that seems to be wrong with her, I'd probably just laugh it off and get back to sleeping peacefully, but pray she doesn't have any nightmares 'cause you might have to pay for it the next morning. And remember to get a new doctor. A cranky old man should make her happy, but if he ever gives you a prostate exam, all bets are off. And finally, we have Gor and Jay. I hope I pronounced that right from Sweden. Goran writes, Dear Miss P, I've been living with a Filipina here in Tagbilaran for only a month, so we're still figuring each other out. There are many differences between

our two countries, but I'm learning your culture and some of the language. Things are going quite well, but a week ago, she mentioned something that seemed very wrong to me. She told me she didn't mind if I used her body while she was sleeping, but it sounded like more than just an offer. It sounded like a request. I changed the subject and went to sleep, but last night she brought it up again. I told her that was not something that interested me, that it was considered wrong where I came from, and I asked why it seemed so important to her. She just said she wanted me to be happy and content whenever it pleased me, but it makes me wonder if that's a common practice here. It's not a problem between us; I'd just like to know about this. I really enjoy your videos and look forward to your reply. Okay, Goran, I'll do my best. Well, I'm glad to hear that the two of you are working out the kinks, but it's possible there's another kink you didn't know.

about in many Filipino relationships, sex is often done quietly while the couple pretends to sleep because there can be other people in the room or at least with an earshot. Due to a lack of communication, I bet some of that goes on, but it's not something I'm aware of being a cultural tradition, so maybe for her, it's just a personal turn-on. Now, I don't know anything about your intimate life, but does she seem to enjoy it when you're both away? If she's less than enthusiastic, maybe this is her way of avoiding it and hoping to sleep through it. But since you said everything was going just fine, I doubt that's the case either. I'd be more inclined to take her offer of sleeping booty at face value. She's just eager to please you any way she can, even if it means going deep when she's asleep. And I understand that's not something you want to do, so don't just tell her you'd rather wait till both of you are fully conscious so you can enjoy.

it together, but who knows, maybe this really is common, and I just don't know about it. I guess I could conduct another poll like I did with holding the lumber while you slumber, and if I do, I'll post my findings. In the meantime, Goran, I wish you and your girlfriend both the best. Well, that's it for this episode, and I hope you enjoyed it. I'll be back on Tuesday with a rather unique interview of myself. Till then, folks. Okay, folks, this part's just for fun, but since we're talking about sleeping booty and what happens after you fall asleep, I thought I'd mention a couple of dreams I've been having over and over, like more than just a few times each. Now, I don't take dreams very seriously, but it's kind of interesting to see where your mind goes when it's free to roam around. I don't think they're omens or anything, but there's probably a reason I keep having the same ones. The first one is this creepy NeverEnding house. If you open a door, it

just leads to a different room, like a dining room or a kitchen, and then a bedroom, but there's no way out. And on top of that, I know something's chasing me, you know, something that I can't see. I can just hear these heavy footsteps, like Mr. X from Resident Evil 2, you know, the video game, or that robot cowboy from Westworld. It's really creepy and it's scary. He knows every room I run to, and the dream always ends when I try to hide somewhere, and he walks right up to the place where I'm hiding, like under a bed, and then I wake up. It's not a good dream, so I wish I'd stop having it. It's almost like a nightmare, you know, but the good thing is I don't wet my bed anymore. Good to know, right? No, just kidding, folks. Anyway, um, this next dream is the exact opposite, though. Um, this is my favorite, and I've had it twice in the last month. It's always nighttime, and I'm outdoors in the middle of the road. I

start running, and then I jump, and then I can fly. I can't get too high, like maybe Treetop level, and I don't go very fast, but it's like I can just float around the neighborhood while I'm looking down. I know I'm afraid of heights, but it kind of, you know, feels good if you're just dreaming. If you ever had a flying dream, and I probably don't have to describe it, but it's almost, I don't know, orgasmic, and you feel completely weightless and peaceful. I know it's so ironic because I'm so afraid of heights, but when I dream of flying, it really feels good. And then if I wake up when I'm having it, I try to fall right back asleep and get back into it, but I never can. So anyway, folks, maybe somebody knows what those mean, and if you have any idea of how you can get out of a scary dream, please let me know. So thanks for listening, and see you. Are you ready? 'Cause it's time for a word from your captain. If you've

abandoned ship in the west. Then you're looking for a Filipino first mate. Just listen to your captain P, and you'll be shouting, Th she blows! in no time at all. There's nothing like the Philippines to put a little fire in the hole. And if you join me crew, I'll get you there right as rain. So subscribe to my channel, hit that notification bell, so you hear about any course corrections, and check out me Patreon page for exclusive vids and features. And for all you new seen, stay off me poop deck, don't be asking me to blow the man down, and keep your hands off my booty. [Music] Oh.

Strange Problems And Strange Filipinas!  They Want You To Do What!?

The Filipina Pea

한 남자의 딜레마: 필리핀 파트너의 건강 위기 지원

40대 중반의 한 남성은 온라인에서 필리핀 여성과 사랑에 빠져 그녀와 함께하기 위해 필리핀으로 이주했지만, 그녀의 건강이 갑자기 악화되어 치명적일 수 있는 상태에 이르렀습니다.

그는 현재 그녀의 병원비를 감당하고 있으며, 그녀에 대한 사랑과 미국에서의 자신의 현실 사이에서 갈등하고 있습니다.

어려운 상황이지만 그는 가능한 한 그녀를 지원하기 위해 최선을 다하고 있지만 이 어려운 딜레마를 헤쳐나갈 방법에 대한 조언을 구하고 있습니다.

이 이메일은 필리핀에 있는 여자 친구를 부양해야 하는 어려운 결정에 대해 이야기하며 방문, 청구서 지불, 이사 등의 옵션을 제시하지만 어느 것도 이상적으로 보이지 않습니다.

작성자는 말문이 막히고 어떤 조언을 해야 할지 모르겠다며 당분간 현 상태를 유지하자고 제안합니다.

두 번째 이메일은 여자친구의 침묵과 꿈이 바람을 피운다는 비난으로 이어져 글쓴이를 혼란스럽고 좌절하게 만드는 또 다른 관계의 어려움을 공유합니다.

화자는 아름다운 피부과 의사와의 경험을 회상하며 여자 친구의 질투를 불러일으킵니다.

여자 친구의 질투는 의사의 매력, 친밀한 검사, 문화적 미신 등이 복합적으로 작용한 결과라고 설명합니다.

내레이터는 상황 대처에 대한 조언을 제공하고 더 이상의 갈등을 피하기 위해 새로운 의사를 찾는 것이 중요하다고 강조합니다.

관계에서 문화적 차이 탐색하기

화자는 파트너의 문화와 언어에 대해 배우고 있지만 잠자는 동안 몸을 사용하자는 제안에 불편함을 느낍니다.

이러한 행동은 다른 사람이 있고 의사소통이 부족하기 때문에 일부 필리핀 관계에서 흔히 볼 수 있는 상황입니다.

파트너의 제안은 여성에게 개인적인 흥분을 불러일으킬 수 있으며, 여성은 기쁘게 받아들이고 싶어 하지만 화자는 친밀감을 위해 두 사람이 완전히 의식할 때까지 기다리는 것을 선호합니다.

화자는 보이지 않는 존재에 쫓기는 소름 끼치는 네버엔딩 하우스에 대해 언급하며 두려움에 잠에서 깨는 등 특이한 꿈을 꾸었다고 회상합니다.

또한 지난 한 달 동안 두 번이나 밤에 야외에 있는 대조적인 꿈을 꿨다고 말합니다.

화자는 너무 심각하게 받아들이지 않더라도 반복되는 꿈의 특성을 분석하는 것이 흥미롭다는 것을 알게 됩니다.

화자는 고소공포증이 있음에도 불구하고 무중력 상태의 평화로움을 느끼며 나무 꼭대기에서 비행하는 반복되는 꿈을 묘사합니다.

꿈은 거의 오르가즘에 가까운 것으로 묘사되며 화자는 깨어난 후 다시 꿈으로 돌아가기 위해 고군분투합니다.

또한 꿈을 해석하고 무서운 꿈에서 벗어나는 방법에 대한 조언을 구하는 동시에 채널과 Patreon 페이지를 홍보합니다.