Children now throw tantrums to get smartphones. One of the reasons they do this is that they feel left out of conversations and fear being bullied. In objective situations, it is often the case that having a smartphone leads to being bullied more than not having one. The idea that they can't engage in conversations is a clever point made by children. Many parents today are struggling with concerns about their children's smartphone usage. So, I want to clarify this issue. Children from first to third grade typically use kids' phones, but around the third grade, they start demanding smartphones. One of the reasons for this is that they feel left out and unable to participate in conversations, leading to fears of being bullied. I want to emphasize this point. In reality, in objective situations...

Having a smartphone increases the chances of being bullied significantly. If you are truly worried about bullying, not giving your child a smartphone can help prevent it. In fact, the bullying and violence that occur on social media within smartphones are far beyond what parents are aware of; it is happening on a massive scale. In this regard, not having a smartphone actually keeps our children safer. The idea that they can't communicate is a clever statement by the kids. In reality, in most classrooms, smartphones are not allowed. Therefore, they don't necessarily communicate through smartphones. During the short break of just ten minutes or during lunch, the children are busy playing and enjoying that precious time. Situations like, You don’t have a smartphone, so you can’t play with us, do not occur.

Talking about smartphones in this way is an attempt by children to touch on their mother's weaknesses. I advise you not to be shaken by that. Secondly, neuroscientists usually talk about the process of brain development up to around the age of ten. This is now expanding, but generally, there is a period when the brain is structured according to our environment and systems. I would say that this period lasts until the age of twelve, during elementary school. Children who are exposed to smartphones or smart devices from a very young age, and who experience immediate responses to their actions, become firmly entrenched in that brain system. When they do not receive such immediate reactions, they may become angry or have difficulty regulating their emotions. Additionally, many aspects are experienced directly through their senses.

That brain becomes more activated, and what is referred to as brain capacity is enriched. It has to serve as a storage device to accept and store information received from various senses, so we keep increasing that capacity. You can think of it as disappearing the moment a smartphone is given. Therefore, I always advise not to give children smartphones until at least they graduate from elementary school, no matter what. This is truly a way to protect our children's brains. Once they settle in, things change a bit. Adults already know this; our generation, those in their mid-forties, were not part of the smartphone generation. Even though we interact with smartphones as adults, we have had no significant issues adapting. So, there’s no need to worry that our children will struggle to adapt to smart devices.

At the very least, it is best to limit children to using a folder phone or a kids' phone for communication until they graduate from elementary school, at least until they are ten years old. The moment a smartphone is given to them, their brain seems to stop developing. Additionally, there are statistics regarding reading habits that show a significant decline in reading skills. Once a smartphone is introduced, children spend so much time using it that there is little opportunity for reading. The process of reading requires a lot of energy from the brain, which makes it challenging for them. They prefer to use less energy while looking at a smartphone. As a result, their reading abilities decline sharply. Therefore, it is best not to provide smartphones during elementary school years, yet many still do. After that, within a month, they often end up taking the smartphone away.

It's important to remember that children struggle more than we might think. If you have already provided a smartphone for your child, you need to manage its use. You should check at least once a week what your child is doing on their smartphone, such as what messages they are exchanging with friends, what YouTube videos they are watching, and what games they are playing. 

Children also have privacy, and they might express concerns like, Isn't my mom invading my personal privacy too much? It's essential to consider this perspective. When a child goes out to a friend's house, they need to ask for permission from their parents. A smartphone, through the internet, allows them to step outside the house and connect with the world, including potentially dangerous individuals. Therefore, seeking permission is necessary, and you should regularly verify whether that permission is being respected. Otherwise, while it may not make the news, the consequences can be serious.

There are many parents who are really struggling with smartphones and are wrapping their children up tightly. Therefore, without the need for strict management or anything like that, I strongly advise that, as I mentioned earlier, you should not buy smartphones for your children until at least they graduate from elementary school.

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