[Applause] Thank you. Just shut up, you disgusting, pill-popping sexual deviants. Come on, I want to do this monologue and then go into hiding. Okay? Not even Sean Penn will find me. [Applause] Snitch. Hello and welcome to the 73rd

annual Golden Globe Awards, live from the Beverly Hilton hotel with all these rich, beautiful celebrities having the time of their lives. Let's hope no one spoils that. Yeah, relax. I'm going to try and be nice. Your global mega stars with amazing talent,

most of you, a few of you just married. Well, you know who you are. We all do. We all do. We're live on NBC and it's right, the NBC host this award show because they're the only network who are truly fair and impartial, and that's because

they're the only network with zero nominations, so nothing in it for them tonight. They don't care who they don't care, obviously. But as I say, I'm gonna be nice tonight. I've changed. Not as much as Bruce Jenner, obviously, now Caitlyn

Jenner, of course. What a year she's had. She became a role model for trans people everywhere, showing great bravery in breaking down barriers in destroying stereotypes. She didn't do a lot for women drivers. [Music] You can't have everything.

Tonya, not at the same time anyway. So I'm gonna be nice tonight and I'll tell you why. The president of the Hollywood Foreign Press just told me if I say anything offensive or crass or resort to innuendo, he is going to come out here

and personally pull me off so that's an offer I couldn't refuse yes yes that is the level an old man pulling me off again at least Jeffrey Tambor didn't address what a year he's had oh what an actor what a role it knows every day he

has to put on all that women's clothes and the hair and makeup and let people film it that takes balls so I don't know how he does it I really don't I've seen these balls they're huge and long either if he tucked them in the bra does that thing

when you push him out the back and let him hang out like a bulldog no one knows I love Jeffrey Tambor I don't know if that's because he's such a boy actor or because he reminds me of mine and then on getting breasts to please do you plan

on undergoing gender reassignment surgery I'm gonna have to get back to you on that I want to come by I wanna see more don't you dare you let that woman get off this planet without knowing buck I'm not their thing yes Queen guys

yeah it's Queen it's not clean [Music] one Hollywood publication said that me hosting would mean that some film stars would stay away for fear of being made fun of as if film stars would stay away from the chance of winning a golden glow

particularly fair film company has already paid for it [Applause] so what's happened this last year in this crazy business we called show the excellent spotlight has been nominated yeah [Applause] the the Catholic Church are furious about the film as it exposes the fact

that 5% of all their priests have repeatedly molested children and been allowed to continue to work without punishment. Roman Polanski called it the best date movie ever. [Music] Any way, shape or form, nothing. We understand you've settled

several cases against the church. I can't discuss that. There aren't any records of any of these settlements. Nope. When you were a poor kid from a poor family, I'm gonna, a priest pays attention to you, it's a big deal. How do you say no to God, guys?

Listen, everybody's gonna be interested in this. Jennifer Lawrence made the news when she demanded equal pay for women in Hollywood and she received overwhelming support from people everywhere. There were marches on the street with nurses and factory workers saying, "How the, how could a 25-year-old

live on 52 million?" This is, but there were plumbers around the world, "Oh, poor girl." In Zoey, now of course women should be paid the same as men for doing the same job. And I'd like to say now that I'm getting paid exactly the same as

Tina and Amy did last year for hosting. Now, I know there was two of them, but it's not my fault if they want to share the money, is it? That's their stupid bowl. It's funny because it's true. The Hollywood Foreign Press deemed The Martian a comedy and

even nominated it. And hence Matt Damon is here tonight, so that worked a treat. [Applause] To be fair, The Martian was a lot funnier than Pixels, but then again, so was Schindler's List. It's just a film. All-female remakes are the big thing.

there's a female remake of Ghostbusters, there's going to be a female remake of Ocean's Eleven, and this is brilliant for the studios because they get guaranteed box office results and they don't have to spend too much money on the cast, so [Applause]

Shut up! I don't care. Listen, if you do win tonight, remember that no one cares about that award as much as you do, okay? Don't get emotional, it's embarrassing, okay? That award is, no offense, worthless. It's a bit of metal that some nice old

confused journalists wanted to give you in person so they could meet you and have a selfie with you, okay? That's all it is. I've got three, I've got three Golden Globes myself, so I can set one as a doorstop, one I use to hit burglars with

and when I keep by the bed - doesn't matter why, it's mine, it's mine, it's mine! I won it fair and square. It's just the right shape and size. It's nothing, yeah. So to be clear, that was a joke about me shoving Golden Globes that I've

won up my ass and they asked me to host four times. Let's do the show, shall we? [Music]

김구라는 애교 수준? | 욕으로 시작하는 미친 시상식(2016 ver.) | Ricky Gervais |

그 영화 : The Movie

리키 게르베스의 오프닝 독백과 첫 농담

게르베스는 청중을 겨냥한 도발적이고 논란의 여지가 있는 발언으로 시작합니다.

그는 배경과 참석자들을 인정하며 냉소적인 어조로 말합니다.

그는 NBC의 후보작 부족에 대해 일침을 가합니다.

그는 케이틀린 제너의 전환과 그 영향에 대해 언급합니다.

그는 할리우드 외신 사장의 협박으로 인해 친절하게 대하겠다는 의도를 설명합니다.

제프리 탬버와 성 전환에 대한 농담

제프리 탬버의 역할과 캐릭터의 도전 과제에 대해 이야기합니다.

그는 탐보의 묘사에 대해 유머러스하고 암시적인 발언을 합니다.

그는 탐보르와 성전환 수술에 대해 장난스럽게 대화를 나눕니다.

할리우드, 시상식 및 스포트라이트에 대한 코멘트

그는 골든 글로브의 중요성에 대한 인식 부족에 대해 언급합니다.

그는 영화 '스포트라이트'와 가톨릭 교회의 대응에 대해 언급합니다.

그는 교회와의 합의에 대해 비꼬는 발언을 합니다.

제니퍼 로렌스와 평등 임금에 대한 토론

평등 임금을 위한 제니퍼 로렌스의 투쟁에 대해 이야기합니다.

그는 그녀의 월급에 대한 대중의 반응을 풍자합니다.

그는 티나 페이와 에이미 폴러와 비교하여 자신의 급여를 공개합니다.

그는 <마션>이 코미디 부문 후보에 오른 것에 대해 농담을 던집니다.

그는 할리우드의 여성 리메이크에 대해 언급합니다.

그는 우승자에게 감정적으로 대응하지 말라고 조언합니다.

그는 골든 글로브 수상의 의미를 경시합니다.

그는 골든 글로브 수상에 대한 개인적인 경험을 공유합니다.

그는 이전에 했던 농담을 해명하고 독백을 마무리합니다.