한국 여성의 행동 패턴과 이슈에 대한 이해

모든 연령대의 한국 여성들은 자신의 행동에 책임을 지지 않고 남 탓만 하는 미성숙함으로 어려움을 겪습니다.

### 한국 여성의 복잡한 역학관계에 대한 이해: 상담 세션에서 얻은 인사이트
* 👩 다스라는 한국 여성들이 직면한 문제를 파헤치는 충격적인 상담 사례를 소개하며, **여성들의 역학 관계에 대한 기본적인 이해**가 필요하다고 강조합니다.
* 👨 이 토론은 **부모가 딸을 지나치게 애지중지하는 것**을 강조하며, 이것이 **성인 여성의 책임감과 성숙함 부족**으로 이어지는 과정을 설명합니다.
* 🤔 연령에 관계없이 많은 여성들이 자신의 행동에 책임을 지는 대신 **외부에서 비난을 받는 유치한 행동**을 보인다는 지적이 제기되고 있습니다.
* 📉 전문가들은 이러한 행동 패턴이 **지나치게 관대한 양육 방식**에서 비롯되어 감정과 행동을 통제하는 데 어려움을 겪는 성인을 만든다고 지적합니다.
* 🐶 개에 비유하여 개가 적절한 훈련과 관심이 필요한 것처럼 **어린이도 책임감 있는 성인으로 성장하기 위해서는 지도가 필요**하다는 점을 시사합니다.
* 💔 이 전문가는 **딸의 문제를 부정하는 어머니의 태도**가 비난과 회피의 순환을 지속시켜 진정한 해결책이 개발되지 못하게 하는 것에 대해 좌절감을 표합니다.
* 🗣 다스라는 여성들이 자신의 불만을 정당화할 수 있는 소셜 미디어의 위험성을 강조하며, 이로 인해 **자아가 왜곡되고 책임 회피**로 이어질 수 있다고 경고합니다.
* 📖 이 영상은 한국 여성 행동의 복잡성과 이를 형성하는 사회적 영향을 이해하는 포괄적인 가이드로서 **시청자들이 이러한 문제를 비판적으로 성찰**할 수 있도록 독려합니다.

This is a video that showcases a full combo. I think just watching this one will serve as a basic guide regarding Korean women. Hello, this is Dasra. Nice to meet you. Yesterday, I talked about the abusive couple, and today I will conduct a review of Part 2. Oh, Part 2 was truly shocking. Part 2 gives a feeling that while Part 1 listed various incidents, it now discusses why things had to turn out this way. There's no need to go long in the review; I will focus solely on the counseling content. First, regarding the wife's parents, they say, Our daughter is like ourselves. The specialist wants to convey that their daughter is that precious. They express this first and then mention that they can't say anything negative. In other words, they are trying to say this nicely, while also implying that they have overly pampered her.

What I mean is that my daughter is still a naive little child. Now, we are going to get serious. From now on, we will learn about why my wife has become this way. Here, my mother-in-law says something that doesn’t quite match. This statement carries multiple meanings. You said that you are an expert, but as you mentioned, our daughter is not that bad. It's not that serious. The doctor’s expression shows confusion. Naturally, while filming, if the mother realizes that her condition is very serious, she is completely oblivious to the current atmosphere, which is reflected in her bewildered and shocked expression. Then there’s another question: Is it just the daughter who is serious? I would like to hear about the son-in-law's faults as well.

It's not just my daughter; even the palm of my hand needs to be hit to make a sound. Isn't there something wrong with that? Why do we keep talking only about my daughter? Right now, we need to hear serious discussions about the issues concerning my daughter and the future solutions to these problems. However, I don't have the desire to hear such discussions at the moment. The constant negative comments about my daughter are just making me feel worse. I have mentioned this many times in past broadcasts and have talked about it repeatedly for a long time through live sessions and videos. Women are currently facing a significant problem, and the expert here has rightly pointed it out. Women, even when they are fully grown adults—whether they are in their 30s or 50s—are behaving like children, and that is the issue. As adults, they should be taking responsibility and acting accordingly.

If you have completed something, you should receive the appropriate reward, and if a problem arises, you should take responsibility as an adult. However, because they are like immature children, when a problem occurs, instead of taking responsibility, they keep looking for the cause elsewhere, blaming others, and are busy just pointing fingers without acknowledging their mistakes. They should quickly recognize, correct, and take responsibility, but instead, they are preoccupied with blaming others and do not want to take responsibility. They also do not want to fulfill their obligations. Children might say, Hey, you should definitely do your homework; it's my duty as a student, but they often do not want to do it. But at that age, they are still children, and that can be understood. Then those children might say, Okay, I'll do my homework, and I will study too, because it is natural for a student to study. However, they still ask for rewards, saying, Mom, if I do well on this test, can you buy me something?

They say, I'm going to buy you a bag, or I'm going to buy you a jacket. It's the same situation. Women in their 30s, 40s, and 50s are acting like this now, targeting their husbands. They are already receiving various forms of compensation for what they are naturally expected to do in their roles. Nevertheless, they are pushing this as something that is normal while demanding further compensation. This is a significant issue with today's parents, and I think we can easily understand this by observing our parents. Comparing people can be tricky, but a person's behavior is greatly influenced by their environment. For instance, there is a legendary level of anger in 강영국 (Kang Young-guk). Let's take a quick look. Right now, what's happening? It's chaotic. From a professional standpoint, it's frustrating. This dog, which usually hides under the sofa, is being repeatedly called by its owner.

There was a dog that kept provoking another dog, and it was on the sofa while the other one was hiding under it. Because the second dog was not visible, I thought it was not there. However, it suddenly jumped out and started biting, which led to a fight. The owner should understand why the dog was not coming out; if the owner had properly intervened, the dog could have comfortably roamed outside instead of hiding under the sofa. This illustrates that dogs raised under such owners do not grow up properly. The reason I am showing this is that, while people do have some innate traits, the role of parents is significantly important. Experts say that dogs need to be touched, pampered, and praised by their owners, and that treats should be given in moderation.

The more these dogs are like this, the more they tend to be kind and obedient, but they can also become aggressive and try to dominate their owners. They start to bite and growl. I think it's somewhat similar with people too. You can get a sense of this from the parents' reactions. Now, let's move on. I want to talk about how your daughter has many problems. It seems that 90% of the issues are with her, and the son-in-law is just being polite by acknowledging it. The real issue here is the mother's reaction. She needs to accept this as it is and quickly think about how things can improve. It would be wise to seek advice. However, in this situation, the mother suddenly says that there is no one like the son-in-law who takes care of and supports her, implying that it's just his personality. Yes, that's true.

It's not that the relationship is something great; it's just the nature of the personalities involved. There are numerous implications in this. The first is condescension, the second is entitlement, and then the son-in-law is not remarkable. It's not because he is exceptionally good; rather, it’s about his character. The final point is that the son-in-law has a certain personality. Because of that personality, our daughter has changed like this. All of this is implied in what I'm saying. It's a very frightening statement. If the son-in-law had been intimidating or had leadership qualities, would our daughter have turned out this way? No, it’s because the son-in-law is accommodating and supportive that our daughter has come this far. All of these implications are included. Whether it's the mother or the daughter, Korean women of all ages, regardless of whether they are young or old, are not very different. It was shocking to see how condescension can still occur in this context. It seems there are no exceptions.

Even I, watching this, feel like I'm going crazy. There are things that should be emphasized and things that shouldn't. When it comes to a son-in-law who is living with us, I feel really grateful and want to compliment him. I also feel so sorry for having raised my daughter and sending her off to marry. Statements like these should be basic and normal in this situation. It's about personality. To push this into such an obvious form is ridiculous. The expert's pupils are shaking right now; their mental state is gone. It's absurd. So, the expert is astonished and responds again, saying, Let's talk about this again. Who else has taken care of everything like that? Oh, it's just their personality. The doctor, as if to say, Why can't this person understand? just says it's their personality. With that one sentence, all the efforts the son-in-law has made over the years living with my daughter are turned into nothing. Just because it's their personality, you see?

When I hear this, I think about how I come to work an hour early every day and leave two or three hours late. I really work hard for the company. But then, at some point, the boss says something like, The factory manager thinks this person is really working hard. Let's promote them this time and give them a raise. They say, You know, that kind of work ethic is just their personality. This person naturally has that kind of character. They are the type to come in early and stay late to get things done neatly and precisely. That's just how they are; it's not about anything else. How do you think that would feel? If you were in that situation, it would be the same for your husband.

I have been living like this with such a wife, making efforts and dealing with everything, but when it comes to her personality, it’s all summed up in one word: it drives me crazy. I was really scared of this daughter too. In the first part, when the mother was calmly saying that one shouldn't curse, I thought, Well, at least the mother is a bit gentle; even if she raised her child poorly, maybe the mother is still somewhat normal. But then I realized with one remark that they are exactly the same: a frightening mother-daughter pair. In this situation, I should be asking for advice on how to handle my daughter quickly, but instead, I’m just countering everything. It’s not like that, right? Isn’t it the case that she blames others, saying it’s the son-in-law's fault? The son-in-law hasn’t really done anything wrong; it’s her personality, isn’t it? Isn’t she just like her daughter? Instead of addressing the essence of the current problem, she keeps shifting the blame around, pointing fingers everywhere.

Here, we need to acknowledge that it's not just about blaming others or my daughter. Only after accepting this can we come up with a prescription for her. If we refuse to acknowledge the situation, how can we come up with a solution? It's like a doctor diagnosing an illness. If they keep making excuses, saying it's because of this or that, how can they prescribe treatment? That's the current situation. Meanwhile, I'm worried that my daughter might completely fall behind. What I mean is, if I say something like this while on air, won't it ruin my daughter's image? While I'm concerned about her image, a specialist is here saying that the situation is serious. I need to take this seriously and realize that my daughter is in a critical state. If that's the case, I should find ways to help her recover, maybe by implementing some educational measures that I haven't done so far.

I need to find a way to recover, even if it’s just a little bit at a time. I'm worried that this is not just a concern; it's like I'm falling into a pit. Let me say this again: from a mother's perspective, it's not as bad as it seems. My daughter is not in that kind of situation right now. Next, regarding the counseling for my wife, as you might have noticed from the counseling with her parents, her mother likely has some idea of how she raised her daughter. However, the couple's twin children have been receiving expert counseling, and it turns out that the parenting method is too permissive. In simple terms, they have been overly coddled. This has become a cause for concern. If there’s even a slight disagreement with her parents’ methods, she tends to quit her job immediately. In her marriage, she just gets angry at her husband and goes back to her mother's house.

It doesn't matter if my father is present or not; I just lash out without caring about anything around me. The diagnosis for these behaviors is that I was raised too leniently and lacked proper discipline. I have received this diagnosis before. The specialist advises that mothers should not behave this way. Children are learning, and we should not act like this. Even my wife can sometimes become completely childish. She throws things and curses, prioritizing her emotional outbursts. The difference lies in whether one can control their emotions. This is the distinction between a child and an adult, between a minor and a legal adult. Because they cannot control themselves, minors face legal consequences or punishment.

We need to ease up on this. Adults are merciless, right? Of course, in our country's law, it's somewhat lenient. However, the problem is significant because even though they have become adults, they are still behaving this way. So, we need to get our act together. This leads to a really important point: children are doing so well at being self-centered. In other words, they become egotistical. They cannot understand or empathize with others. I felt like this message is not just for the kids but also for the mothers of these children. The mothers are behaving this way too, unable to empathize with others, completely self-centered, and unable to control their anger. Next, there are the childish behaviors of wives and excessive use of social media. I have a lot to say about this. The reason why they love social media so much is that they receive comments and DMs from people who empathize with them, saying, I feel the same way; I can relate.

It's good, right? So now we're talking about using social media. From my perspective, the first thing is that I receive empathy, and my heart starts to feel at ease. Secondly, I gain a greater sense of certainty, realizing that I was right. This happens when people with similar experiences come together. That's how I see it. They are all the same people. There are things we can empathize with and things we cannot. However, when it comes to empathy, I believe that right or wrong, correct or incorrect, does not matter. It's always about empathy, empathy, empathy, which can be quite tiresome. In discussions, there's often talk about a lack of empathy, and it gets monotonous. The word empathy itself is getting old. Also, I recall a moment from Reply where I think the right answer is to ventilate the room, open the windows, and so on, while providing clear and effective solutions. That's what I believe is the right approach.

I think about why that situation is currently urgent. I didn't know if it was a situation that had already passed or what. So, when we talk about this, it feels like the right answer. It’s an urgent matter, and in the midst of it, saying, “Oh, how have you been? You must have been so surprised. Are you okay now? Are you coughing?” What does it mean to show empathy in this way? What if someone dies because of this? Wanting this is itself a sign of being childish, as if one cannot let go of that childlike character. 

With children, we always need to show empathy. When a child runs and bumps their knee, we say, “Oh, my child, your knee must hurt.” We acknowledge their pain, saying, “Oh, it hurts, doesn’t it?” and we share in their hurt, expressing our sympathy. This way, the child feels understood.

When they receive something, they cry and say, It hurts, while crying. If people around them just stay quiet, it's fine, but if they come over and act surprised, they start crying. It's really interesting how their reactions can make them cry or not. Then, if they do something well, people will say, Oh, that's great! Mom couldn't do this, or How did our little one do this so well? Amazing! They empathize with them. This is something that, even as adults, they still seek. Many men still do not understand this aspect. And I see that mothers still treat their daughters, who are over thirty, the same way they treated them when they were children. I think that’s the biggest issue. What’s really funny is when I answer the question about why social media is good.

I'm doing something, and suddenly I start crying. Yes, I'm crying. Did the doctor say something harsh? On social media, what is so good about it? Why do you like it so much? I just asked. When I try to explain that, I cry. It's as if I were an incredible sinner or a victim, recalling all the past instances of being hurt. I think about it and talk about it, and it makes me cry. To someone watching, it looks like that, but it’s not true at all. But what is this? It's like what I mentioned earlier. If you lightly touch on it, I will cry. When children fall down, they often just look away and brush themselves off, then run back to play. But if you precisely capture the moment they fall and make eye contact at that instant, you say, Oh, are you okay?

The moment I started, the kids began to cry. It's the same as now. The doctor is listening to me and saying, Oh, I feel the same way. As I listen to the things I'm saying, I realize I'm not a strange person. Everyone there empathizes with me, and they cry too. Then the doctor asks, Let me ask you one thing. Is this empathy from a mature adult or from immature children? When I say it seems to be the latter, the doctor agrees. The specialist then explains that it feels like piling on nutrients for the wrong behaviors I'm engaging in. This is quite similar to what I mentioned. The truly dangerous and frightening aspect of receiving such empathy continuously is that it leads me to think, I was right; I am...

The actions taken so far have certainly been wrong. However, this transforms into a very strong conviction: I was right; I didn't do anything wrong. It becomes a certainty. People also talk like that, saying it's because of the husband, or that it's due to the children’s upbringing. It’s not the mother’s fault. Did the mother get scammed? If the husband was making good money and providing well, why would she go out and invest or do those things? If the husband was doing well, she wouldn’t have needed to. No, there’s no need to feel sorry for the husband or anything like that. Act with confidence. Yes, my sister hasn’t done anything wrong; she was scammed because of her husband. Ah, he was cheating.

Why do you feel like a sinner? Did your husband treat you like this regularly? No, I was always lonely. Look, your husband did that. You did nothing wrong. Go and act confidently. He made you feel lonely, and what did he do? How could you not cheat? Hearing these things makes you think, Oh, right, what did I do wrong? It transforms into a perfect certainty. What comes out of that is what we commonly call projection. Hey, cheating was my fault? It wasn't because of you that I cheated; you made me feel lonely, so I did it. It’s not my fault that I was deceived. You gave me a meager salary and made life hard, so I tried to invest and earn some money. That’s not my fault. Why is this happening?

You're just blaming me for everything. This is really dangerous. All these things are happening in reality on social media, cafes, and communities. And people like my wife, or those who have been transformed with great conviction through these communities and social media, cannot have a conversation even if a Harvard graduate comes to explain with logic. You know this, right? These people are just filled with conviction, loud voices, and stubbornness; it’s impossible to have a dialogue with them. Now, behind this, there are discussions about education and other matters. I will skip the reviews on those topics. The second part, yes, just five minutes into it, has a lot of shocking content. It includes all the combos we often talk about, starting from the 586 generation, and everything is there—social media, blaming others, everything is included, from mothers to daughters.

I think you can consider this video as a complete guide. If you watch just this one, it could serve as a fundamental resource on Korean women. I wanted to share that, and with that, I will conclude my remarks. Thank you.

부모의 문제까지 총체적 난국

안녕하세요 다썰남입니다.
결혼 및 연애관련 주제를 주로 말씀드리고 있습니다.
감사합니다


다썰남TV

2부에서는 아내의 양육 방식과 부모님의 지나친 보호 행동에 초점을 맞춰 현재 문제와 상관관계를 제시합니다.

시어머니의 상반된 진술과 아들의 잘못도 제기되어 보다 균형 잡힌 논의의 필요성을 강조합니다.

전문가는 연령에 관계없이 많은 여성들이 미성숙하게 행동하고 책임을 회피하고 있으며, 이는 해결해야 할 중요한 문제라고 지적합니다.

30~50대 여성들은 남편에게 추가적인 보상을 요구하며 이러한 행동의 정상화를 요구하고 있습니다.

혼란스러운 환경과 양육 스타일은 부모가 자녀의 발달에 영향을 미치는 것과 유사하게 반려견의 행동에 큰 영향을 미칠 수 있습니다.

딸의 문제에 대한 어머니의 반응과 사위의 수용적인 성격은 두 사람의 성격이 딸의 행동에 미치는 복잡한 역학 관계와 영향을 강조합니다.

가족 간의 역학 관계와 비난으로 인한 어려움

화자는 사위와 딸이 함께 사는 역학 관계에 부담을 느끼며 사위의 노력에 감사를 표하는 동시에 딸을 키우는 것에 대한 죄책감을 느낍니다.

전문가의 성격 특성 강조는 사위의 노고를 경시하는 것 같아 답답함을 자아냅니다.

화자는 자신의 직업 윤리와 성격으로 낙인찍힌 부당함을 반성하는 동시에 문제의 근본을 해결하고 딸을 도울 방법을 찾아야 할 필요성을 인식합니다.

인내심 있는 양육과 감정 폭발의 영향

화자는 자신의 회복과 아내와 자녀의 행동에 대해 우려하며 아내의 양육 방식이 너무 관대하다고 지적합니다.

화자는 자신의 감정 폭발과 절제력 부족을 인정하며, 아이와 어른의 차이점으로서 감정 조절의 중요성을 강조합니다.

또한 공감과 검증을 제공하는 소셜 미디어의 역할에 대해 논의하는 한편, 공감에 대한 논의의 단조로움에 대한 불만을 표출합니다.

연사는 상황의 긴박함과 공감의 본질에 대해 생각해보고 위기 상황에서 공감의 효과에 대해 의문을 제기합니다.

또한 공감의 필요성이 성인이 되어서도 지속될 수 있다는 점을 강조하면서 어린이와 성인에게 공감을 표현하는 방식에 대한 유사점을 도출합니다.

또한 지속적인 공감을 받을 때 발생할 수 있는 부정적인 결과를 강조하며 미성숙한 행동과 자격지심을 강화할 수 있음을 시사합니다.

관계에서 비난과 신념이 미치는 영향

연사는 개인, 특히 여성이 자신의 행동에 잘못이 없다는 강한 신념을 갖고 남편이나 자녀의 양육 환경과 같은 외부 요인을 탓하는 경우가 많다고 설명합니다.

이러한 사고방식은 자신의 실수를 다른 사람의 탓으로 돌리는 투사로 이어져 부정과 정당화의 악순환을 만들 수 있습니다.

연사는 특히 소셜 미디어와 커뮤니티 토론을 통해 이러한 신념이 강화되면 당면한 문제에 대해 개방적이고 논리적인 대화를 나누기가 어려워진다는 점을 강조합니다.