South Korean Hitman Agency's Hilarious Misadventures

MK 합정점은 효율적인 청부살인 서비스를 제공합니다.

### 청부살인 업계의 혼란과 웃지 못할 해프닝
* 🤡 **청부살인** 합법화 이후 범죄율 감소에도 불구하고, **킬러들의 과도한 업무량**과 **기상천외한 사건들**이 속출하고 있습니다.
* 🏢 MK 기업의 Minkyoo는 대통령으로부터 **올해의 기업인 상**을 수상했습니다.
* 🚗  킬러 Jameson은 **원거리 출장**과 **비용 문제**로 끊임없이 상사와 갈등을 빚습니다. 그의 독특한 살인 방식 때문에 적절한 의뢰를 받지 못하는 상황입니다.  "**가장 고통스러운 죽음**"을 요구하는 의뢰는 그의 전문성과는 거리가 멉니다.
* 🐮 Jameson의 **소를 활용한 시그니처 킬**은 가족의 도움 없이는 불가능해졌습니다. 그의 아버지의 요추디스크는 그의 작업에 큰 차질을 주고 있습니다.
* 🤬  MK Hapjeong 지점은 **신입 킬러의 어이없는 행동**과 **고객 응대 미숙**으로 혼란을 겪습니다.  
* 👃  한 고객은 **심각한 체취**를 이유로 룸메이트에 대한 청부살인을 의뢰하지만, 그의 이야기는 예상치 못한 방향으로 흘러갑니다.  고객은 결국 **감정적인 해소** 후 의뢰를 취소합니다.
* 💸 청부살인 의뢰 취소에는 **수수료**가 발생하며, 이는 고객에게 예상치 못한 추가 비용을 발생시킵니다.
* 🎮  마지막 장면은 **킬러의 일상**을 보여주는 것으로 끝맺습니다. "**아직 현역**"이라는 멘트는 앞으로도 계속될 청부살인 업계의 혼란을 암시합니다.

Restrictions on hitmen to be relaxed this year. Number of hits see huge increase after COVID-19 restrictions are relaxed.

Interview with targeted criminal, "I regret my decisions..." Minkyoo of MK to receive "Corporate of the Year" award from president.

Crime rates drop after legalization of hitmen. Sir, here's the report you asked for.

Redo it. Excuse me...? You haven't read it yet... It's obvious—you made some trash.

Redo it! Oh... Okay... (Son of a bitch...) One Hitman Order!

Hitmen Gone Nuts! We got a hit for a guy in his 50s in Gasan-dong.

Who's interested? Anybody go! Jameson! You go! Gasan-dong is too far away...

You haven't done anything this month—you can do this. What are you talking about?! I took care of Eunpyeong last week.

I told you they filed a complaint and it was cancelled! What?! What complaint?? Did you confirm the kill or not?

I did!! Then explain how the "corpse" walked out of its coffin during the funeral!

It was lunchtime, so... Shut up and go—I'm giving you an opportunity to make money!

But it's too far away and it'll barely cover my chainsaw's gas expenses... Then you want me to go?

Yeah, you wanna? I have a gig in Guro later anyway. I can drop by Gasan—they're right next to each other.

This job isn't for you! Why not?! The specific instructions asked for the most painful death possible.

Your kills are too "clean." Hey, I can make them suffer! Forget it—this isn't for you.

I can pinch their nipples... What the hell are you laughing at?
You think that's funny? Suffer? You have no idea
how to make somebody suffer.

Then why don't you go?! No, no -
It's urgent, so we need somebody smart.

That dumbass can't even find his way
to the bathroom. I can't go anyway.

I sold two of my cows
to pay for rent. Then how are you gonna do your 
signature kill without your cows?!

Uh, my dad and younger brother
are helping me. But my dad herniated a disc
and is hospitalized.

He should've been more careful... Buy a cow while they're cheap, man,
and don't make your father do hard labor!

Okay... And how many times have I told you
to get rid of that hay in the break room?!

It smells every time
I go in for coffee! Sure, I'll take care of it
this week.

You said you'd do that last week
and it's still there! Okay, okay. Useless pieces of turds...

If it were Boksun Kil,
she'd have killed three and be back by now!

[One Hitman Order!] (We got a gig) (It's for a woman in her 50s in Seongsu,
who wants to go?)

(I'm on my way back
from taking care of it) (What...?) (Your computers
are a bit slow!)

(Oh, really...?
G-Good job...) - Why would you bring her up?!
- You can't compare us with her!

Shut up, you fools! Then do better
if you don't wanna hear that! Well, we have a new guy
that recently joined.

Let's send him for experience. I haven't thought of that. Hey, newbie! Somebody call him.

Kids these days!
Seriously! Oi! Oi, oi! What the heck is wrong with you?!
Take it off!

What the fudge?! HEY!! Are you serious?!
Why are you wearing earplugs?!

HEY!! Eh? What's your problem?
Didn't you hear me? Eh? We have a gig, you idiot! A gig!

Aren't you here to work?!
What are you doing?! Eh? - I said I don't have gas money!
- Come here! COME HERE!!

- Stop, stop! That's his concept, man!
- I TOLD YOU TO COME OVER HERE!

HEY!! LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU! - Move! I said, move!
- I said I don't have gas! Give it to me!

Yes, this is MK
Hapjeong branch. Oh! Yes, sir! I ordered a lightning hit.

But it's telling me
you haven't even left yet... Yes!
We haven't assigned a hitman yet...

As soon as we assign one,
we'll send him right away! It's time to get off work
but I can't because of this...

I see, I see!
Okay, sir! Right away! COME OVER HERE!
I'M GOING TO CHOP YOUR NECK OFF!

HEY! Jameson, I'll give you gas money. So get out there, pronto! Hello?

Yes, hello...
How can I help? Are you guys doing hits right now? Yes, of course...
Who's the target...? 

Hmm...
Should I call him my friend...? Wait,
we're not friends anymore? Anyway, I want to order a hit
on some dude who was my friend.

Understood! Please have a seat. But it said you give 30% discounts
to visiting customers - Is that true?

Yes, but that's a promotional discount
eligible to those... who come with the person
they want killed...

There are people who do that...? Yes, yes – There are often customers who do that.

Anyway, did something happen between you and your friend? Oh, I have to tell you the reason...?

No, no – You don't have to if it makes you uncomfortable. But it helps us do our job easier if you provide a reason or motivation...

He smells too much. Excuse me? What was that? He smells awful. His scent...? Is that enough? Do I have to tell you more?

No, no, no! It must be really bad... He was actually my roommate. He came to Seoul and said he didn't have a place to sleep.

So, I let him spend the night. But the next day, he tried to kick me out by threatening me with a knife.

Uhh... I don't think his smell is the problem...? So, I begged him to spare my life.

He said he'd do that if I let him live in my house. So, I said yes because I had no other choice.

His body odor is the problem, right...? Please give me a moment... Jameson!

What are you still doing here?! Get out there, now! Is my story not interesting to you?

No, of course it is...! Please continue. But the problem is, the next day and the next –

No matter how many days passed, he wouldn't shower... He wouldn't even wash his face!

Oh... So, I had to ask, "Why don't you wash?" Yes, so what did he say...?

Is my story interesting?? Yes, it is! I mean, you know... It's good if something's interesting...

Yes, so his excuse was that, as a person squatting in another person's home, he didn't want to be responsible for the water bill.

I don't think someone who threatened you with a knife should say that... Yes, so I replied...

"I can pay for things like the water bill." "So, please shower at least once every two days..."

It must have been scary, but you did it. That's when he said, "I hate you! I hope you die!!"

and left the room and slammed the door shut. That sounds like what kids in puberty would say to their parents...

So, at first, I thought it was all for the better. I thought I wouldn't have to worry about his odor if he didn't leave the room.

Yes – Please give me a moment – Your story is so interest… Jameson! Why haven't you left yet?!

Thanks for listening to my story – I'll be leaving then. No, no, sorry! Please continue!

It was so fun, sir! I can't sleep tonight if you just leave like that!

I don't think I can share any more… with someone who doesn't focus on what I say.

YOU FEEL GOOD!! But I think I do feel better after talking. Thanks for listening! Please take this...

[Thank you for listening] Then he didn't plan on hiring us from the start! There were lines of people waiting when Boksun Kil was here...

Those sons of a… Yes – MK, Hapjeong Branch (Yes, I made the order earlier).

Oh, hello…! Our guy just left! If you just wait… No, no – Please cancel it.

I took a couple of deep breaths and I don't want to kill him anymore. Oh… But there's a fee if you cancel – Is that fine?

Huh? A fee? Why? You never mentioned a fee. It's not on your front page...

But there's a charge if you cancel... Wow... Are you serious...? Excuse me, what's your name?

I'm Cheolmin Yoon of MK's Hapjeong branch. Okay, please wait.

[One Hitman Order!] Huh? Hapjeong-dong... Cheolmin Yoon, a man in his 40s...

Eh? (Yeah, I just placed an order, so please take care of it ASAP)

You better put those toys away, kids... Remember kids - I'm still in active duty... Yeah, Dad... Can you come now?

Man... Why won't this start... Oh, there it goes. Are you ready, sir? Let's dance.

미쳐버린 청부살인

비즈니스 문의: jangbbijju@metacomedy.net
스튜디오장삐쭈 지원하기: recruit@studiojbbj.com


장삐쭈

청부살인업계 현황 및 규제 완화

코로나 이후 규제 완화로 청부살인 건수 증가

피살 대상 범죄자 인터뷰 및 후회 표명

MK 민규, 대통령으로부터 올해의 기업인상 수상

청부살인 합법화 이후 범죄율 감소

청부살인업체의 업무 처리 과정 및 직원 관리

가산동 50대 남성 청부살인 의뢰

청부살인업체 직원들의 업무 배정 및 불만

직원의 부실한 업무 처리 및 항의

의뢰 내용에 따른 적절한 살인 방식 논의

직원의 개인적인 어려움과 업무 수행의 어려움

새로운 청부살인 의뢰 및 신입 직원 투입

성수동 50대 여성 청부살인 의뢰

기존 직원들의 업무 성과 비교 및 신입 직원 투입 결정

신입 직원의 부적절한 행동 및 지시 불이행

신입 직원의 업무 태만 및 면박

MK 합정지점에 긴급 청부살인 의뢰

의뢰인과 친구 사이의 갈등 및 청부살인 계약 과정

방문 고객 할인 혜택 문의 및 설명

의뢰 이유에 대한 설명 및 고객의 심경

룸메이트와의 갈등 및 폭행 위협

룸메이트의 비위생적인 생활 습관과 변명

청부살인 계약 취소 및 추가적인 사건 발생

윤철민에 대한 새로운 청부살인 의뢰