라벨과 자아를 넘어 정체성을 포용하기

### 라벨과 자아를 넘어 정체성을 포용하기
* 🤔 정체성에 대한 질문은 종종 우리를 제한하는데, 이는 스스로에게 라벨을 붙이는 것이 우리의 진정한 본질을 제한할 수 있기 때문입니다. 우리가 하는 일에 집중하는 대신, **행위 자체에 몰입**해야 합니다.
* 📚 화자는 **"저는 서점을 운영하고 있습니다"**라고 말함으로써 기존의 역할로 자신의 정체성을 정의해야 한다는 부담감에서 벗어날 수 있습니다.
* 👔 화자는 과거 경험을 되돌아보며 **정장 차림의 환경에서 어울리지 않는다고 느꼈던 것**을 회상하고, 이를 계기로 회사를 떠나 **보다 진정한 길**을 추구하기로 결심합니다.
* 🧘 성숙해지면 비교와 모방에서 의미 있는 일에 참여하는 것으로 초점이 이동하여 **정신 건강과 양질의 결과물**을 모두 키울 수 있습니다.
* 💔 연사는 자아가 우리에게 도움이 되는 경우는 거의 없으며, **"자아는 적이다"라는 문신처럼 겸손의 순간**이 개인의 성장에 매우 중요하다고 믿습니다.
* 🌧 팬데믹 기간 동안 서점 개업의 어려움은 **관점의 전환이 역경을 개인의 힘으로 바꿀 수 있다는 점**을 강조하며 회복탄력성에 대한 교훈이 되었습니다.
* 🌈 궁극적으로 화자의 가장 큰 희망은 **자녀가 행복과 성취감을 찾는 것**이며, 성공은 정서적 행복에 부차적이라는 점을 강조합니다.

겸손을 받아들이고 라벨보다 행동에 집중하는 것은 개인의 성장과 정신적 웰빙을 촉진합니다.

- Who would you be if you dropped all your identities? I've always hated the question: What do you do? I try not to go around seeing myself really as anything. I'm this, I'm that; when you pick these labels, what you're essentially doing is limiting. (upbeat music) I am much less interested in being seen as a writer, and I'm much more interested in writing. Now, when people ask me what I do, I just say I have a bookstore, and they're usually, Oh, that's cool. And then they don't ask me any more questions about it. Have you ever felt you were living according to someone else's standards or values? In what way? You know, when I look back, especially more at my 20s, I would go to this sort of conference every year, this advertising conference, and most of the people were in suits and ties. This wasn't really what I wanted to do.

And I remember at some point thinking, how many years can I keep going to this and not eventually put on a suit and tie? Like, it's hard to swim upstream for super long. I made the leap and left. I wrote my first book, and then I moved to New York, and suddenly I'm around a different scene of people with their own uniform and their own priorities. I think as I've gotten older, I just try to be busy doing the verb instead of thinking about, talking about the nouns, because the more you're in it, you're solving for X, Y, and Z, and the more you're out of it, you're copying, imitating, comparing. And I find that that's both conducive to mental health, but also quality of work. Where has your ego taken a hit in a way that ultimately served you? I'm not sure ego ever serves us. So anything that humbles us is usually for the best.

I have it tattooed on my arm here: Ego is the enemy. So we all tell ourselves a story about who we are and how we got there, and that story usually gives ourselves a lot of credit. Pats ourselves on the back, points out how awesome we are. And as my books have sold well, and you sort of develop a fan base or following or platform, you have lots of things that confirm the ego or puff up the ego, and this feels good, but it also has the process of the effect of obscuring or inflating or detaching us from reality. So I always kind of welcome those humbling things, the things that sort of puncture the ego. I always find that super, super helpful. Have you ever gone through something upsetting or painful that you later viewed as a blessing? I remember in the middle of the pandemic as we were in the process of opening this bookstore, which we dumped basically our life savings in.

and so much time, it's just sitting there empty and you have no idea where it's going to go, what's going to happen. And I wrote this little note to myself. I said, 2020: Will it make you a better person or a worse person? When these things happen to us, your mind wants to go to: who's to blame? How unfair it is, what this is going to cost you, what it's gonna take from you, how easily it could have been avoided, to all these things that do not change what happened and definitely don't move you forward in any way. And so the perspective shift is like, okay, the wheels are spinning. How do I send power to where they're gonna get traction so then I can move forward? It's not awesome that this happened, but a lot of times it's just not being destroyed by it. And the blessing is what you take out of going through

some shit and not being destroyed by it. You go, oh, I can go through stuff. That's how I think about it. What is your most consistent and greatest hope? I mean, I think like all parents, you just hope your kids turn out okay. You hope not so much that they're successful or make a lot of money. I guess you just hope that they're happy, that they make it, that you were what they needed. It doesn't really matter how these other things turn out. If you get all the other things you want or if world events go this way or that way, it doesn't work out for these people, if it doesn't work out here, none of it really matters.

Let go of labels. Transform your life. | Ryan Holiday

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정체성을 버리고 행동을 수용하기

화자는 라벨과 정체성을 싫어하며 대신 행동에 집중하는 것을 선호합니다.

다른 사람의 기준에 맞춰야 한다는 압박감을 느꼈지만 궁극적으로 자신만의 길을 추구하기 위해 도약한 것에 대해 반성합니다.

화자는 라벨에 집중하는 것보다 행동에 집중하는 것이 정신 건강과 업무의 질에 더 좋다고 생각합니다.

저자는 팔에 "자아는 적이다"라는 문구를 문신으로 새겨 개인적인 성공이 자아를 부풀리는 것에 대해 반성하고 있습니다.

자아에 구멍을 뚫고 현실을 점검하는 겸손한 경험을 환영하는 것이 중요하다고 강조합니다.

저자는 팬데믹 기간 동안 서점을 열었던 자신의 도전적인 경험을 공유하며, 고통스럽지만 잠재적인 축복으로 여깁니다.

연사는 어려운 순간에 느끼는 불확실성과 공허함을 되돌아보며 이러한 경험이 개인의 성장으로 이어질 수 있을지 의문을 제기합니다.

또한 어려운 상황의 부정적인 측면을 탓하고 그것에 집착하는 일반적인 경향은 앞으로 나아가는 데 도움이 되지 않는다고 강조합니다.

관점을 바꾸고 앞으로 나아갈 힘과 원동력을 찾는 데 집중하여 궁극적으로 역경에서 얻은 교훈에서 축복을 찾는 것이 핵심입니다.

부모의 한결같은 바람은 성공이나 돈에 초점을 맞추기보다는 자녀가 잘 성장하고 행복해지기를 바라는 것입니다.

외부 환경이나 세상사에 상관없이 자녀에게 필요한 존재가 되기를 바라는 마음입니다.

궁극적으로 자녀가 행복하고 성취감을 느끼면 다른 결과는 덜 중요해집니다.