결혼 생활에서의 성 역할과 재정적 어려움

암 환자였던 한 공무원은 월 280만 원을 받는데, 역할 전환과 경력 변경으로 결혼과 재정적 어려움에 직면해 있습니다.

### 암 생존자인 남편이 공무원으로 일하는 결혼 생활에서 성 역할과 책임에 대한 토론
* 👩 대기업 연구소에서 근무하다 공무원이 된 암 생존자 남편은 **월 280만 원의 수입**을 올리고 있습니다.
* 💰 남편의 월급과 재정적 부담에 대한 아내의 인식은 개인마다 다르며, 어떤 사람은 **'거지'처럼 느끼고** 어떤 사람은 **일정한 생활 수준**을 기대하는 등 다양합니다.
* 🏠 부부는 교육적인 이유로 서울에 살기로 결정했고, 남편은 경제적인 문제에도 불구하고 **경기도의 더 저렴한 지역으로 이사하는 것**을 꺼려했습니다.
* 암 재발에 대한 두려움과 **남편의 정기 검진 및 평생 약물 복용**에 대한 필요성.
* 👫 일을 하지 않고 집안일을 모두 아내에게 맡기고 **투자금을 팔라고 압박하는 남편**에 대한 아내의 분노.
* 🔄 온라인 댓글은 **성 역할의 역전, 그리고 그 시나리오에서 남편의 행동을 비판하는 내용**을 강조합니다.
* 💔 도움이 필요할 때 아내를 지원하는 남편의 능력과 결혼 생활에서 **상호 이해와 공감의 중요성**에 대한 우려.
* 💭 공유한 이야기에 대한 성찰과 관계에서 **진정으로 중요한 것**이 무엇인지 깨닫게 됩니다.

Hello, nice to meet you. I brought an issue that was a hot topic on the news recently. It seems like a public servant who worked at the Supreme Court, previously worked in a major company's research lab, got cancer in their 30s, and left the job due to the illness. Then, they unexpectedly passed the exam for a career position as an emergency service worker. It seems like they quit their job on their own. Oh, but it's impressive. They must have passed the exam in one go, right? Maybe it's possible to pass without taking other exams due to their experience working in a major company's research lab. I'm not sure about it. Anyway, their spouse was worried about how they would make a living, telling them to just work at the major company, but the person said they couldn't do that and decided to work as a public servant. Their monthly salary is 280 million won, so they left their job.

I didn't quit, I just tried applying once and got accepted. Then I said, Okay, I will change jobs now. But I couldn't do it. I said I can't do it. My husband was insistent. It's not that bad to receive a monthly salary of 2.8 million KRW. I mentioned it every time. The standards vary for each person. For some women, when their husbands come home with a monthly salary of one million, they cry and wail, saying our household is ruined. There are people like that. Most people would be impressed if someone earns a million monthly, but it's different for each person. Some say, Because of you, I feel like I've become a beggar since I can't earn money. The wife says it's hard, that she sees her husband as 1.5 times more than herself. If the wife earns around 4.2 million KRW, she seems to earn around 4 million KRW. And she also has to repay the mortgage. And lastly, the husband saves money, whether it's the weekend or weekdays, always coming home to do the housework, saying it's my responsibility to save money.

I always eat at home, so I prepare all the rice, side dishes, and soup. I used to take care of everything. At three o'clock, the kids probably... Previously, my husband worked in a major corporation's research lab, so his salary was much higher than mine. There are so many things I want to say. My husband has suffered so much until now. He even had a life-threatening illness, cancer. Normally, he has been through a lot. Oh, what, he's going to enjoy being unemployed? No, he works as a public servant and earns 280 million won. If the wife earns another 400 million, how much is the total income? Isn't it 700 million won in total? If that's the case, it's settled. Why worry so much? If you sell the house and move, that should be fine. If you can't pay off the house loan, your life will be ruined. I really don't understand. It depends on the situation. If it was like that, then that's how it was. It was tough, especially dealing with cancer. Do you know what's the scariest thing about cancer? It's the recurrence, right? If you haven't received a cancer diagnosis...

Hiding like this more than people and suddenly coming out from some part is very dangerous. You always have to worry about your health, even if you say you are cured. You should always get frequent check-ups and you have to take medicine for the rest of your life. If cancer patients can't afford the mortgage in Seoul, they should move, living in the Gyeonggi Province area will be more than enough. Risking your life for something as useless as a house in Seoul is more important than your husband. If your husband couldn't handle it, quit working, there must be a reason for quitting. I'm just like that. I simply don't like working, don't like doing anything. I don't think someone who is like that would have the qualifications to enter a large company's research lab in the first place. If you feel like you have to do something, even if you don't like it, you are the kind of person who knows how to do it.

It's about having the qualifications. It's not just blind praise. Still, despite getting this disease and losing interest in work, saying, I can't do this anymore, if that's the case, from the wife's perspective, it's not about saying, You've been through a lot, not even talking about it. They say public officials earn about 280 million won a month. Okay, I got it. Now that the income has improved a lot, even if it's not too rural, let's move to the Seoul metropolitan area, a bit closer. Let's work hard together and try. Take care of your health and let's do that. How nice would that be? But now, since I can't make money, I do all the housework, just sit there, lying down and playing around. Is this what humans do? That's what I'm talking about. If you can't earn money, how do ordinary couples like us usually do? For example, if the husband earns well, let's say, on average, 4 to 5 million won a month, then it means 2.3 million won.

Usually, when a wife earns, it's around 1 to 1.5 million won. Generally, the ratio itself is like that. If the husband earns around 4.5 million won, the wife earns about 200, 250, or 300 thousand won. Then they call it dual-income, sharing household chores and childcare equally. At that time, it's natural for the husband to earn more. But look, when the wife ends up earning more, it feels so unfair. They feel like they've become the head of the family. Oh, the wife is having a hard time? What's so hard about continuing to do what she used to do? It's not physically hard; it's mentally hard. Suddenly feeling like you're at a loss. Originally, since the husband earned more, I just benefited and lived comfortably. But now that I earn more, I feel like I've become a fool. This kind of thinking arises. Now, let me read the last part. The wife pressures periodically to go out and earn more.

Invest in cancer patients who have received a cancer diagnosis. I tried to invest in them to make money, but it is prohibited to have a second job. That's why I want to run away. I just want to escape. On weekends, my wife rests lying down, while I always prepare side dishes and meals like a servant, giving them throughout the weekend. As I have lived like this for a few years, I have no self-esteem at all. Every day is really tiresome, and I don't even want to talk to my wife. Why did I become a public servant? Did I meet the wrong wife? But my wife treasures me dearly and lives by saving money, paying off loans little by little. But I want to stop. So, why is that loan so important? I lived in a dying region just before this. So, when I worked for a large company, I actually lived in the countryside. My wife moved from Seoul to the countryside with me after we got married, leaving her previous job.

I used to work part-time in the provinces by throwing away pocket money. After changing jobs, I moved back to Seoul. My income decreased, but why did I move to Seoul? I don't quite understand. I bought an apartment there and of course, I have a loan. If I have a loan, my wife will naturally have a hard time. I suggested moving to a nearby area in Gyeonggi Province where the cost of living is more affordable by giving up the lease, but we can't move because of education. So, we are stuck not being able to do this or that. It's not because of education; it's about living in Seoul. Kids study well if they live in Seoul, and they don't study well if they live in the provinces. There may be slight differences in details, like sending kids to academies or various environmental factors, but I don't think you have to go through so much trouble just for that one reason to live in Seoul. Let me read some comments. I feel sorry for my wife paying the children's education expenses with the loan.

If I think about the possibility of cancer recurrence and handling medical expenses, my wife's shoulders seem too heavy. If I changed jobs without prior consultation, it seems like I did not understand the store situation honestly. Of course, who would want to get cancer on purpose, right? But I think I burdened my wife too much, so she may not have peace of mind. Let's try to help each other as a couple and come to a good agreement. Finally, going off on a tangent and pretending to be good, oh, really, it gives me the chills. No, think about it as if the gender roles were reversed. So, let's switch it up. My wife has been earning around 400, while I earn around 600 to 700 per month, working like that and then getting cancer. Oh, honey, what should I do now that I have cancer? It's so hard that I can't continue this job. I'm not saying I won't work, but let me work as a public official and earn 2,800 a month, while my husband earns around 6.

My wife, who used to earn 700, suddenly goes down to 280, and I'm so frustrated. I told my wife, You can't do this, you can't change jobs. We still have to pay off our debts, manage things, handle living expenses, how can we live like this? No, no, honey, I'm sorry, I really can't continue working at that company. I can move, I can do something else. Since then, the husband doesn't even lift a finger at home. The wife, even though she's somewhat recovered from her treatment, her body is not back to normal or something similar. While the wife works all week, on weekends, she prepares meals for the whole week, soups, side dishes, rice, and does household chores all day long. The husband just watches. Then the husband says to his wife again, Honey, could you look into selling the investments? We were earning 670, suddenly dropped to 280, our income is cut in half.

Hooked out, how am I supposed to handle this? Honey, please look into investment opportunities. Oh, but I wanted to try a side job, but it seems to be prohibited. Think about a story like this. Will there be people commenting like this? Oh, my husband seems uneasy. His shoulders look burdened. How could the wife just decide on something without discussing with her husband, wanting to hang out or something, she must have done it without any agreement. Doing things like that without any discussion, making the husband carry all the burden and even clearing all the debts for the children's education, isn't that what the wife did? The wife seems too much. Would comments like this really be posted? Next, when you change jobs without seeking your wife's understanding, and now you expect your wife to understand you. Let me rephrase it. When changing jobs, you should seek your husband's understanding.

Doing things unilaterally without asking and now saying that the husband should understand you. These kinds of comments make you wonder if you married the wrong woman. Slowly recovering from the shock, but instead of resolving the issue directly, it turns into a confrontation or a power struggle. Empathy that women used to share extensively among themselves is like a distant star to the husband. That's right. That's why when a man doesn't have money, women's behavior is considered sincere. It gives me goosebumps. So, if we take a look at the last comment once, just because it says, Can't earn money, suddenly the husband is no longer a person but a cash dispenser. The husband ends up taking care of all the household chores and is pressured to sell investments. And what does the husband say in the end? He just sighs and wants to escape. I always feel like I'm just existing as a servant. It's not simply about a man doing a bit more work. It goes into various detailed aspects.

No, my wife's gaze towards me, her way of speaking, intonation, and accent have all changed. So, I feel like I'm living like a slave. I'm not twisting a big deal; it's just that I clearly feel this way in the current situation. There's no need to overthink this. Just switch the roles of men and women, and the problem is easily solved. If you switch the roles, a husband who treats his wife like this becomes a total jerk. He gets criticized online and could even end up in a half-page news article. He pressures his wife who has cancer, asking if he can't invest in her. He's the one at fault. If you switch the roles, you'll either feel pain or realize that the situation has become quite unpleasant. That's when you can understand the other person. If it were me, I would just let go of a wife like this. I would never live together. Well, when cancer reaches a certain point, the treatment...

It's all because of that. That's why public officials can work again. But you shouldn't work. You should take at least a three-year break. Let's assume that you stopped working after receiving such a judgment. What do you think happened to the husband? Either he does all the housework under pressure or just leaves. He might leave with the divorce papers. Now, the bottom line is exposed. In that situation, how can you live together? Oh, I might get into a traffic accident later, get injured somewhere, or become unable to work. When a difficult situation comes, will he abandon me? Such thoughts arise. How can you maintain a marriage? Anyway, I don't understand why there are so many cases like this. As I read the stories, I also get quite angry. Why do they want to throw away something so important for something insignificant? It's nothing at all next to me.

My husband is much more precious. I might also be in pain like this later. At that time, my husband can take care of me like this. And I want to marry someone I truly love. But now, the prospective groom says he might not be able to afford an apartment or his salary might not be good enough, so he gives up on marriage. There are many heartbreaking stories like this, but I hope you can have the wisdom to see what is truly important. With this, I will conclude the video. Thank you. Goodbye.

대기업연구원 남편이 암진단 후 공뭔되자 생기는 일

안녕하세요 다썰남입니다.
결혼 및 연애관련 주제를 주로 말씀드리고 있습니다.
감사합니다


다썰남TV

한 공무원의 파격적인 경력 변경과 재정적 어려움

암 병력이 있는 한 대법원 직원은 급여에 대한 우려에도 불구하고 응급 서비스 분야에서 경력을 쌓기 위해 직장을 그만두었습니다.

이직 결정에는 배우자의 고소득과 주택담보대출 상환의 필요성이 영향을 미쳤습니다.

아내가 4억 원을 더 벌면 부부의 총 소득은 7억 원이 되어 재정적인 걱정을 덜 수 있었습니다.

암이 직장 및 주거 결정에 미치는 영향

암 생존자들은 건강을 최우선으로 생각하고 정기적인 검진과 약물 치료를 지속하는 것이 좋습니다.

서울에서 주거비 문제로 어려움을 겪는 환자에게는 경기도 지역으로의 이주를 고려할 것을 제안합니다.

또한 배우자 소득의 어려움과 역학 관계, 가족 역할과 정신적 안녕에 미치는 영향에 대해서도 설명합니다.

암에 걸린 아내를 부양하는 공무원의 고군분투

암 진단을 받은 아내를 부양해야 한다는 부담감과 경제적 상황에 압도당하고 있습니다.

낮은 소득, 대출금 부담, 거주지 문제로 어려움을 겪고 있습니다.

자신의 직업, 아내의 건강, 자신의 재정적 결정이 가족에게 미칠 영향에 대해 갈등하고 있습니다.

재정적 부담과 결혼 생활에 대한 기대치

아내의 급여가 크게 삭감되면 결혼 생활에 좌절감과 재정적 스트레스가 생깁니다.

아내의 건강 문제에도 불구하고 남편이 활동하지 않는 동안 아내가 대부분의 가사를 책임집니다.

아내가 투자 결정을 내려야 한다는 남편의 기대는 결혼 생활의 역할과 책임에 대한 비판과 의문을 불러일으킵니다.

결혼 생활에서의 잘못된 의사소통과 성 역할

일방적인 의사 결정과 공감 부족은 남편을 인정받지 못하고 단순한 부양자처럼 느끼게 만듭니다.

결국 남편은 모든 집안일과 경제적 부담을 떠안게 되고, 이로 인해 갇혀 있고 가치 없는 존재라는 느낌을 받게 됩니다.

이러한 상황은 결혼 생활에서 성 역할이 미치는 영향을 강조하고 배우자 간의 더 나은 소통과 이해의 필요성을 시사합니다.

일과 결혼 생활의 균형을 맞추기 위한 노력

많은 사람들이 커리어와 휴식 중 하나를 선택해야 하는 상황에 놓이게 되고, 이는 관계에 영향을 미칩니다.

어려운 시기에 버림받을지도 모른다는 두려움은 결혼 생활에 부담을 줄 수 있습니다.

재정적인 문제와 직업에 대한 압박으로 인해 결혼을 포기하는 가슴 아픈 사연이 종종 들려옵니다.