불편한 진실: 신념, 도덕성, 그리고 인간관계

### 삶을 바꿀 불편한 진실
* 🔄 삶의 다양한 측면과 지적 신념에 대해 완전히 틀렸던 과거의 경험에서 알 수 있듯이, 오늘날 여러분이 믿는 모든 것은 **언젠가 틀렸거나 불완전한 것**으로 판명될 것입니다.
* 🧠 "다음에 자신을 너무 확신하게 될 때는 잠시 한 발짝 물러서서 **'10년 후에 내가 부끄러워할 일이 이런 것들 중 하나인가'**라고 생각해 보세요."
* 😈 대부분의 사람들은 악한 것이 아니라 어리석은 것일 뿐이며, **소셜 미디어의 대중적 도덕화**는 실제로 판단을 유보해야 할 때 다른 사람에 대해 선악을 판단하도록 부추깁니다.
* 🤯 "우리가 악이라고 인식하는 대부분의 것들은 사실 **무지와 어리석음**에 불과합니다."
* ❤ 관계의 질이 행복과 웰빙에 영향을 미치는 유일한 일관된 요인이었다는 하버드 졸업생을 대상으로 한 조지 바일란트의 70년 연구 결과에서 알 수 있듯이, 인생에서 가장 큰 영향력을 발휘하는 행동은 **사람들을 배려하고 그들에게 관심**을 보인다는 것을 보여주는 것입니다.
* 🚀 "신뢰, 친밀감, 취약성, 상호 존중을 바탕으로 한 강력한 관계를 구축하려면 기본적으로 **관심을 갖고 관심을 보인다는 것**을 보여줘야 합니다."

장기적인 심리학 연구에 따르면 타인을 배려하고 이를 표현하는 것이 행복과 웰빙에 가장 큰 영향을 미치는 행동이라고 합니다.

- The difficult truths
that no one wants to hear, but we all need to hear. So that's why we're here, to hear the difficult truths that we don't want to
hear here, right here. Truth number one: everything you believe
today will one day be proven to be completely and
utterly wrong or incomplete. When I was younger, there were times that I believed I was gonna
be a professional musician, that I'd never get married, that a girl wouldn't even like me. There were times where I
thought I was gonna get a degree in math or physics, that I
was gonna go to grad school, that I was gonna go to law school, that I would never live in
the United States again, that I'd never be a morning person. In every case, I was completely wrong. Intellectually, I went through phases where I was into Karl Marx,
Ayn Rand, Sigmund Freud, and Friedrich Hayek.

Now I think they're all a
bunch of fucking Looney Tunes. (upbeat music) Take a minute and think
back to what you believed about yourself five years ago. Chances are you can think of a few things that you were wrong about. Now, think about what
you believed was true in the world 10 years ago. Chances are you're cringing a little bit. It's funny 'cause we've
all had this experience of remembering the way we were or the things that we
believed in the past. And we get embarrassed, we feel ashamed of how stupid we were. Yet none of us stopped to consider that the things that we are
so certain or true right now, we're gonna feel the exact
same way 10 years from now. And in 10 years, we're gonna look back with the same embarrassment and disgust at the stuff that we think is true today, as the way we look back today at teenage Mark trying
to wear a hammer pants.

So the next time you feel so sure of yourself, maybe step back for a moment and think, is this one of those things that I'm gonna be embarrassed about in 10 years? If the answer could be yes, then I don't know, maybe shut the fuck up. Truth number two, most people are not evil, they're just stupid. This definitely includes ourselves. A lot has been made about social media and how it affects our politics and our mental health. But I believe the most under-discussed effect of social media is how it promotes moralizing. And by moralizing, I mean encouraging people to make good and evil judgments about each other. A disagreement is when you think somebody's idea is bad, but moralizing is when you think that person is bad for having the idea. This mass moralization has grown to such an extent that I now believe something that I never would've thought possible 10 years ago.

that we probably need a little bit less morality in the world, not more. What I mean by that is that
we shouldn't act unethically. I think we should simply reserve judgment a little more often. Please refer back to truth number one: we don't know what the
fuck we're talking about. This truth is kind of a variation on something that's widely
known as Hanlon's Razor, which says never attribute to malice what can be adequately
explained by stupidity. But I'd like to add
something to Hanlon's Razor that I'll call Manson's Addendum, and pretty much everything you see or read is some degree of stupidity. If we take truth number one, that most of us are pretty much wrong about most of the things that we believe, and we combine that with Hanlon's Razor, which says that most of the things that we perceive to be evil are actually just ignorance and stupidity, well then it suggests that maybe we should be slower to moral
judgements, not quicker.

After all, if we accept
that most of our assumptions are wrong about most things, then we should reserve our morality for only situations that
are clear and obvious. Take the pandemic, for example. It doesn't matter where your politics are. It doesn't matter which country you're in. It doesn't matter what
your personal beliefs are, your risk tolerances. You were horribly wrong about
something at some point. We all were. The experts were, the amateurs were, the conspiracy theorists
were, the scientists were. Everybody got something
horribly, horribly wrong at some point. Now you would think that
this would encourage a certain degree of
humility in the population, but we know how that turned out. Truth number three, the highest leverage behavior
you can adopt in your life is to care about people and
show them that you care. In the 1930s, the psychiatrist
named George Vaillant started to collect data on a
group of Harvard graduates.

Now he collected everything. He tracked their financial situation, their family situation, where they lived, what
occupations they had, whether they participated
in the war or not, whether people they knew died,
whether they got promotions, whether they moved to a sweet
new house and bought a boat. Everything you can imagine, this guy tracked over decades
and decades and decades. Now, while he was tracking all this data, he also asked them basic
psychological questions. How happy are you? How satisfied are you with your life? Do you have a sense of
meaning and purpose? How are your moods? Do you fucking hate your kids? At this point, as you can imagine, they've collected a lot of data. So what did Vaillant learn? Well, in 2004, he said
that he could sum up over 70 years of psychological
data with one word, love. (majestic music) Fucking hair in my eye.

Vaillant explained that over the decades, there was only one
variable that he tracked that consistently correlated to a person's happiness and wellbeing. It wasn't money, it wasn't prestige, it wasn't winning awards,
it wasn't where they lived, it wasn't how fucking
sunny it was last spring. It was the quality of their relationships. And how do you cultivate
better relationships? Well, that's a big
topic for another video, but basically, you learn
how to care about others and then you learn how to
show them that you care. It's not fucking rocket science. It's a simple willingness
to be close to others, and therefore a willingness
to be hurt by others. So when it comes to general
happiness and wellbeing, this is the highest leverage skill that you can build in your life, to learn to care about others, and to show them that you care. To build strong relationships, relationships built on trust,
intimacy, vulnerability.

and mutual respect, to essentially care
and show that you care. And yes, my friends, that is a real puppy
dogs and rainbows truth, and maybe we all need to hear it. This is Manson, out. (majestic music) (heavy metal music)

3 Hard Truths That Will Change Everything

#1 NY Times Bestselling Author. World Champion Non-Fuck-Giver.

For all sponsorship/business inquiries please email Chad Boukzam at chad@cndentertainment.com


Mark Manson

우리의 신념은 끊임없이 진화하고 있으며, 오늘날 우리가 확신하는 많은 것들이 결국 틀린 것으로 판명될 것입니다.

연사는 자신의 신념이 완전히 틀렸던 개인적인 경험을 공유하고 이것이 인간의 일반적인 경험이라는 점을 강조합니다.

그는 우리가 현재 가지고 있는 신념에 대한 확신이 결국에는 당혹감과 수치심의 원인이 될 것이라고 강조합니다.

소셜 미디어가 도덕적 판단에 미치는 간과된 영향

소셜 미디어는 대중의 도덕화를 조장하여 타인에 대한 선과 악의 판단을 증가시킵니다.

연사는 대부분의 사람들이 본질적으로 악하기보다는 단순히 잘못하거나 어리석다는 사실에 비추어 볼 때 세상에 도덕성을 줄이고 판단을 유보하는 것이 더 필요할 수 있다고 제안합니다.

이 아이디어는 핸론의 면도날을 변형한 것으로, 도덕적 판단을 더 느리게 하고 무지와 어리석음을 더 배려해야 한다고 제안합니다.

잘못된 가정이 미치는 영향과 사랑의 힘

팬데믹으로 인해 전문가를 포함한 모든 사람의 생각이 틀렸다는 것이 어느 순간 증명되면서 사람들의 겸손함이 부족해졌습니다.

하버드 졸업생에 대한 가장 오랜 심리학 연구인 조지 바일란트의 70년 이상의 데이터 수집에 따르면, 만족스러운 삶을 위한 가장 중요한 요소는 타인에 대한 사랑과 배려라는 결론을 내렸습니다.

행복의 열쇠: 강력한 관계 구축

바일란트는 관계의 질이 행복과 웰빙에 가장 일관성 있는 요소라고 강조합니다.

더 나은 관계를 구축하려면 다른 사람을 배려하는 법을 배우고, 관심을 갖고 있다는 것을 보여주며, 기꺼이 취약해질 수 있어야 합니다.

강력한 관계를 구축하는 것은 일반적인 행복과 웰빙에 가장 큰 영향을 미치는 기술입니다.