When we are in a relationship, we tend to travel together, just the two of us. We prefer being alone together rather than meeting many people or traveling with many people. Before getting married, we want to be alone together, but after getting married, if the affection fades, it becomes awkward for us to be alone together, so we try to meet others. We want to be in a space where we are not with others, and what we do there is pray. Hello, nice to meet you. Am I too old-fashioned? And recently, they say I look like Ronaldo. Why are there so many people who look alike? My dad's fashion when he was young is similar to mine. I really want to know. I am currently doing a nationwide tour, and I ask people to write postcards to us there. I want to hear stories like this. Also, in Kim Chang-hoon TV's regular lecture, there is that, but the time is too short.

Your questions are many, so I think it would be better to pick some of them and instead of just doing a raw vlog live, it would be better to have a form where I talk about your stories. Because just vlogs are not watched surprisingly, only two things get high views. First, talking, and second, eating with your mouth. Here, I wonder what's in this, in the end, should I go in with my mouth or with my mouth? So, when PD reads your postcards, I will talk about my thoughts on it. Is there a way to make the start easier? Why did I pick this question? I think if I explain it simply, it's like this. Easy means easy, but now it's difficult, right? But it could be like this. How should you clap, how should you clap, usually.

We should clap like this, you know, like this. It's old-fashioned. It's the World Cup in 2002 for us. But, for example, think about clapping like this. What goes into this right now? Strength is put into it, right? So, I think life is like this too. Useless strength goes in, making it difficult now. Do we want to live comfortably because it's hard with unnecessary strength in life? I have two very brief thoughts on strength. Clapping like this, living like this, the sound actually gets better. Am I living life too much like this? So, maybe I'm exerting too much strength now. Think about this. On the other hand, for example, we all want to become strong, right? Then, how should we do it? We need to resist the strength, then strength will come. This is the law of weightlifting, the force of gravity pointing towards the center of the Earth.

Repeatedly resisting behavior, this is weight training. It was said that there are two things that happen when you repeat this behavior. The first is strength, and the second is beauty. Do you know who said this? A fitness enthusiast in Ilsan said it. I can't believe it, but that lady used to go to Japan in the old days and gained weight, but now she's really fit. In the early days, our gym's fitness enthusiast was her. She said, This is it. Weight training is repeatedly resisting gravity towards the center of the earth. At this time, two things happen to us, strength and beauty. Can't we live comfortably? Then, there are two things she said. Are you exerting strength now? Then, relax your strength, and you'll become comfortable. Secondly, if you want to become a strong person, you have to endure now. Then you can become a strong and comfortable person later on. This is my short story about strength.

It's about balance. Oh, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night and turned on the light at 4 a.m. But indeed, the world has changed. Hasn't it? In the past, before, without getting married, did men and women sleep together like this, welcoming the morning together? Yes, they did. But back then, it seemed like such stories were not shared as anecdotes in society. What do you think? I belong to the analog generation, so I don't think living together before marriage is a good idea. If it's not living together before marriage, do people think of it more lightly as just living together? It's a bit strange, right? That's right. Rather than divorce, there is a purpose for living together. What is the purpose of living together? One of the biggest purposes of living together seems to be to get to know each other. Or maybe without taking responsibility, just when you're young, whether it's physically, economically, or emotionally, without too much burden, you might want to try things out.

But the most important thing is, if I were to live together to get to know them, I don't think living together is a good idea. Rather, if I really want to pull in their future right now and find out, living together is not that great. What I really want to say is, go and meet his parents at his house. I want to suggest meeting his father and see how he talks to his mother in daily life, what reactions he has, and how the siblings in that house are. So, if we want to get to know that man, what should we do with him to find out? Do you know exactly what that is? In the case of men, they are trying to find out the moment when dopamine is released in this woman. At the moment when there is sexual appeal and romantic interest in this woman, it's difficult to really get to know this man. If you really want to get to know that man, understand his language. Then, his language is now.

There is a saying that the language given by the man with extraordinary abilities has value. So, let's take a look. When I was young, I didn't know, but it's really true. My father and husband are the same. I will express my opinion accurately. It's not that parents are unimportant, but parents have had a tremendous impact on that man and that woman over the past 30 or 40 years. However, just because they have that ability, it doesn't always turn out that way. On the contrary, because this man receives too much influence from his parents, he might say, No, I will do it differently. So, just because he didn't receive good language, it doesn't mean that the man will speak the same way. According to statistics, it's around 60%. So honestly, 60% of you... in statistics, it's a very high percentage. Therefore, the influence of that ability is tremendous.

Find out what that language value is, and talk a lot about the linguistic thoughts of men and women on that. That is the closest point to predicting the future of women and men. This is my opinion, so don't marry a man or woman who hasn't received good language. You need to know that. Looking at the parents, this is my opinion. If you have been married once, please tell us from the perspective of a man or a woman. Instructor, do you really think there is such a thing in a husband's family background, or is it true that in a wife's family, there is a certain level of linguistic ability from the parents? We met the parents during the marriage, they were kind at that time, but as we lived together after marriage, things went wrong, people completely changed. I have experienced a very difficult time as a son-in-law. So, what I'm trying to say is,

I hope that Korean culture will change gradually. What I want is not to meet through some event or as an event, but to meet in a way where we can see each other's daily lives at home. Of course, when we have events, we naturally follow etiquette and behave properly. So, I would like it if there is a culture where we visit each other's homes before getting married. Marriage is a significant decision in life, a big risk, and a choice. So, when my son has a girlfriend, I should invite her to our home. It's natural. When we are in a relationship, we tend to travel together, wanting to travel and meet many people. However, instead of wanting to meet many people, we prefer to be alone together, just the two of us, in a space where only the two of us are present, without others.

I'm trying to pray, pray, pray, pray. But for me, that's obvious, but if I really want to marry this person, I recommend meeting more people around this person before getting married. Then, after getting married, there will be a lot of time for the two of them to have a really fun time together. But how do we usually end up? Before getting married, we tend to be alone together, and then after getting married, our relationship doesn't get better, so it feels awkward when we're together, so we try to meet other people to avoid that situation. Isn't it the case that before getting married, when there are no people who influence this person, such as parents or people who influence this person, ask what movies, videos, or books influence this person. Ask your brother what influences his current thoughts, ways of thinking, and reactions.

Have you received anyone's abilities in any situation? It has both right and left abilities. Don't say you should do this or you should do that. There are variables in everything, but try to understand each other. The man who influenced, the environment he grew up in is really important. It's crucial what kind of job his parents had when he was young, what his dad did for the kids when they were young, cooking for them, doing household chores. It makes a big difference. It's undeniable that how you were raised matters. It's also important if you traveled with your parents when you were young. I believe that how you were raised really influences you. My husband, for example, his mother did everything for him, so even after getting married, he can't even cook instant noodles by himself, he needs to be taken care of from A to Z. So, let's beautifully conclude. If you really want to understand someone, more important than living together is the influence she had on him and the influence he had on her.

Ask about people, environment, events, and so on, with a bit of endurance. Also, ask about your own will, emotions, determination, etc. After our dopamine is over, I think we can infer ourselves who have calmed down a bit more excited. Oh, and waking up in the dawn. I originally wanted to talk about that. In this regard, I think now, this is what I think. We can plan, right? But I always think like this. Are things going according to our plans? Mostly, they don't. So, I hope to leave the door open about 20% to 30% like this. What does this mean? Here is the third floor. But if you open that door over there, even though it's the third floor and quite windy, it's not cool. Why is that? Because this side is blocked.

That's why, how can we feel refreshed? We need to open this side as well. If we open this side, then we need to open the other side too. When we say that, it means the path for the wind. The wind needs to be able to pass through. So that people can feel refreshed. So, what does it mean? In order for life to become refreshing, I need to make my plans and if things don't go according to my plans, when that happens, I need to open that door a bit. Therefore, in order for my plans to proceed, the path for my plans needs to be opened. But if not, life won't be refreshing. We have our plans, right? Kim Chang-ok TV. But things don't always go according to our plans. So, make plans, and also open up a bit when things don't go according to our plans. So, if we want our lives to be even a little refreshing, then make plans. But it's quite paradoxical. Open the door for the path where your plans can proceed.

You need to open the door of your heart so that things can flow more smoothly. If you only make plans, do you know what will happen later? The taller the building of complaints, the stronger the wind blows, becoming a very dangerous wind. So, open the way for the wind. If the beginning is difficult with only 30%, then with just 10%, you will feel refreshed, and you will be able to open up a little more. In my opinion, South Korea seems to be trying to connect everything under the name of family. The influence of this family is too strong. Don't try to love each other too much as a family. Nowadays, I am talking about it extremely. Many women are here today, but please don't try to love your husbands. The end for all of you will be panic disorder. So, what should you do? I want to recommend that you try to maintain etiquette. Let's speak and act politely. Oh, I...

Is this an act of loving your husband? There's no need to think like this. Oh, is this too impolite of me to say or is it an action? Love without respect and manners does not exist. And love that does not keep etiquette is the most cruel and violent.

이혼하지 않고 평생 갈 사람인지 알아보는 방법 - 김창옥 [라이브강연 ep.3]

김창옥TV는 대한민국 대표강사 김창옥 교수의 유튜브 채널입니다.
우리의 삶 곳곳에서 부딪치는 문제들을 되돌아보고 
따뜻한 위로를 받으며 스스로 답을 찾는 공간입니다. 

구독자 여러분들이 지치고 힘들때
편히 와서 쉴 수 있는 힐링 아지트가
될 수 있도록 최선을 다하겠습니다. 

[컨텐츠 문의 및 제휴]
kcotvshow@gmail.com (김창옥 프로덕션)

** 김창옥TV 채널 콘텐츠의 모든 권한은 김창옥TV에 있습니다. 허가받지 않은 재편집, 불법 다운로드 후 업로드, 공유 등의 행위는 엄격하게 금지되어 있습니다.  이 경우 별도의 경고 없이 신고될 수 있습니다. 


김창옥TV

결혼 상대를 알아보기 위해서는 동거보다는 상대방의 가정환경과 부모의 언어 습관을 파악하는 것이 중요하다.

상대방에게 영향을 미치는 사람, 환경, 사건 등을 파악하고, 자신의 의지, 감정, 결심 등을 묻는 것이 좋다.

계획을 세우되, 계획대로 되지 않을 때를 대비하여 마음의 문을 열어두고 융통성을 발휘하는 것이 삶을 더욱 상쾌하게 만드는 방법이다.

여행 스타일을 통해 관계 변화를 언급하며 강연 시작.

시청자 질문에 답하는 형식으로 진행될 것임을 알림.

힘과 편안함의 균형에 대한 고찰

불필요한 힘을 빼고 편안하게 사는 것에 대한 비유 (박수치는 모습).

강해지려면 오히려 힘에 저항해야 한다는 역설적인 조언.

꾸준한 저항 운동을 통해 힘과 아름다움을 얻을 수 있다는 설명.

결혼 전 동거에 대한 개인적인 견해

결혼 전 동거에 대한 사회적 인식 변화 언급.

동거의 목적은 서로를 알아가는 것이지만, 미래를 알고 싶다면 좋은 방법은 아니라고 주장.

상대방을 알아보기 위해 그의 가족, 특히 부모님과의 관계를 관찰하는 것을 제안.

가족의 영향력과 언어적 능력의 중요성

부모로부터 받은 언어적 능력이 미래 배우자의 언어 습관에 큰 영향을 미친다고 설명.

결혼 후 배우자 가족과의 관계에서 어려움을 겪었던 경험 공유.

결혼 전 서로의 가정 환경을 관찰할 수 있는 문화가 필요하다고 주장.

결혼 전후 관계 맺음 방식의 변화

결혼 전에는 둘만의 시간을 중요시하지만, 결혼 후 관계가 소원해지면 다른 사람들과의 만남을 추구하는 경향을 지적.

상대방에게 영향을 미치는 사람, 영화, 책 등에 대해 질문하여 이해도를 높여야 한다고 강조.

상대방의 성장 환경이 현재 모습에 미치는 영향력을 강조.

계획대로 되지 않을 경우를 대비하여 여유를 두는 것의 중요성을 설명.

계획대로 되지 않을 때 마음의 문을 열어두어야 삶이 더욱 상쾌해진다고 조언.

가족 관계에서의 적절한 거리 유지

한국 사회의 지나친 가족 중심적 경향을 비판하며, 가족 간 예의를 지키는 것이 중요하다고 강조.

존중과 예의 없는 사랑은 폭력적일 수 있다고 경고.

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 가족 관계: 언어와 환경의 중요성

결혼 전, 상대방의 부모님을 만나 **가정 내에서의 언어 습관과 반응을 관찰하는 것이 중요하다고 강조합니다**. 특히 남성의 경우, 아버지와 어머니의 관계를 통해 그가 사용하는 언어의 가치를 파악할 수 있습니다.

부모로부터 받은 언어적 영향은 **미래의 배우자와의 관계를 예측하는 데 중요한 지표가 될 수 있다고 합니다**. 60%의 높은 확률로 부모의 언어 습관이 자녀에게 영향을 미치므로, 간과할 수 없는 부분입니다.

결혼 후 문제가 발생하는 경우, **결혼 전에는 친절했던 부모님이 변하는 경우가 있다고 합니다**. 따라서 결혼 전 상대방의 가정 환경을 면밀히 살펴보는 것이 중요합니다.

상대방을 진정으로 이해하려면, **함께 사는 것보다 그 사람이 받은 영향력 (사람, 환경, 사건 등)을 파악하는 것이 더 중요합니다**. 그의 의지, 감정, 결심 등을 묻고, 그가 자라온 환경이 어떠했는지 꼼꼼히 확인해야 합니다.

💑 결혼 전후: 만남의 방식 변화

결혼 전에는 둘만의 시간을 보내는 것을 선호하지만, **결혼 후 애정이 식으면 어색함을 느껴 다른 사람들과 어울리려 하는 경향이 있다고 합니다**. 이는 관계가 악화되는 원인이 될 수 있습니다.

결혼 전에는 상대방에게 영향을 미치는 사람들, 즉 **부모님이나 주변 사람들의 영향을 파악하는 것이 중요하다고 강조합니다**. 상대방의 형제자매에게 영향을 미치는 영화, 비디오, 책 등을 물어보는 것도 좋은 방법입니다.

결혼 전에는 여러 사람과 어울리기보다 **둘만의 공간에서 기도하며 교감하는 것이 중요하다고 합니다**. 결혼 후에는 둘만의 시간을 즐길 수 있도록 노력해야 합니다.

한국 문화가 점차 변화하여 **결혼 전에 서로의 집을 방문하여 일상생활을 공유하는 문화가 정착되기를 바란다고 합니다**. 이벤트적인 만남보다는 자연스러운 일상 공유가 중요합니다.

삶에서 불필요한 힘을 빼고 편안하게 사는 것이 중요하며, **힘을 빼는 동시에 강해지려면 현재의 고통을 감내해야 한다고 합니다**. 이는 마치 웨이트 트레이닝과 같아서, 중력에 저항하는 과정에서 힘과 아름다움을 얻을 수 있습니다.

계획대로 되지 않더라도 **20~30% 정도의 여유를 두고 융통성을 발휘하는 것이 중요하다고 합니다**. 인생이 상쾌해지려면 계획대로 진행되는 길 외에도 다른 가능성을 열어두어야 합니다.

계획만 고집하면 불만이 쌓이고, **마음의 문을 열어 순조롭게 흐르도록 해야 합니다**. 작은 여유라도 갖는다면 삶이 훨씬 상쾌해질 수 있습니다.

🎭 가족과 사랑: 예의와 거리 두기

한국 사회는 가족이라는 이름으로 모든 것을 연결하려는 경향이 있지만, **가족에게 너무 많은 사랑을 주려고 하지 말라고 조언합니다**. 지나친 사랑은 오히려 파국을 초래할 수 있습니다.

남편을 과도하게 사랑하기보다는 **예의를 지키고 존중하는 태도를 유지하는 것이 중요하다고 합니다**. 존중과 예의 없는 사랑은 폭력적일 수 있습니다.

**예의 없는 사랑은 가장 잔인하고 폭력적입니다**. 존중과 예의를 갖춘 사랑이 진정한 사랑입니다.