외로움을 받아들이기: 수용과 개인적 성장

### 고독을 포용하기: 외로움을 받아들이는 평화 찾기
* 💔 한 시청자는 실존적 외로움과 절망감을 표현하며 **인생의 동반자를 찾지 못할 것**이라고 확신했는데, 이는 제 과거 경험에 깊은 공감을 불러일으켰습니다.
* 🕰 제 자신의 여정을 되돌아보니 많은 관계가 실망으로 끝났고, 종종 제 바람과 달리 **거절당하고 오랜 기간 가슴앓이**를 했다는 것을 깨달았습니다.
* 🔍 최근 이별 후 새로운 인연을 찾기 시작했지만 **거듭된 거절**에 직면하면서 혼자서 인생을 보내는 것에 대해 다시 생각하게 되었습니다.
* 💭 저는 영원히 싱글로 남을 수 있는 현실적인 가능성을 인정하고, **이 가능성을 받아들이면 계속되는 고통이 아니라 내면의 평화**를 얻을 수 있다는 것을 깨달았습니다.
* 🌅 저항을 버리고 고독이라는 개념을 받아들임으로써 저는 **해방과 행복**을 찾았고, 파트너 없이도 혼자 있는 것에 감사하는 법을 배웠습니다.
* 🧘 수용은 희망을 포기하는 것이 아니라 **개인적인 성장과 관계의 방해 없이 자기 발견과 열정에 집중**할 수 있는 기회를 제공합니다.
* 🌟 궁극적으로 저는 다른 사람들에게 미래가 불확실한 만큼 **현재의 현실을 받아들이고, 자신의 상황에서 배울 수 있는 것**을 탐구하며, **현재의 순간을 온전히 살아가기를 권장**합니다.

잠재적인 평생의 고독을 받아들이면 내면의 평화와 개인적 성장으로 이어질 수 있습니다.

[Music] So recently, I had gotten a comment from a viewer who expressed that they were quite convinced that they'll never find a life partner and will just wind up spending the rest of their life alone. One of the things that they said, and I want to try to be as accurate in this as possible, was that a lifetime of failure in dating and relationships had led them to a nihilistic viewpoint in life and existential loneliness and despair. Now, when I read those words, it was like reflecting back on my own life, at my own perspective, not so very long ago. Up until just a few years ago, I would have described my own life in very much the same words. As I've gotten older, I've come more and more to terms with that possibility. The reason I'm sharing all that is because I'm sure there are many, many other people who can relate to all of this as well, who feel a growing sense that perhaps they'll wind up alone for the rest of their lives. Now

For me, my whole life, as far as relationships go, has been a long series of disappointments. Recently, I've been single for several years now. The last serious relationship I was in, I had thought that perhaps this might be the person I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with. Looking back on that now, I realized that there's been quite a few times when I thought that about the person that I was in a relationship with. Suffice to say, none of them were. By the way, I should probably also mention that most of the relationships that I've been in did not end on my terms. It was often the other person who came to that decision all on their own, against my own wishes. In addition to that, I've experienced a great deal of rejection in the world of dating, and I found myself alone for long periods of time between relationships, never quite recovering from all the rejection. So, I've experienced a great deal of heartache. I've had periods of excruciating loneliness and deep despair.

now the last relationship I was in, which ended much like the others. I found myself soon after beginning to look for someone new to open myself back up to meeting someone. And for several months, I was in fact meeting a number of potential partners, but none of those situations evolved into anything. And I was being revisited once again by that feeling of rejection. And on top of all of that, because of my own personal growth, I was finding myself becoming increasingly more particular about the kind of person I was open to being involved with. I found that the vast majority of people in this world are very superficial and shallow, especially when it comes to relationships. And I don't have any interest in any of that nonsense, in all the drama and conflict that most people create. And so I've limited my prospects down to a very narrow perimeter. And this means that for me, the dating pool is more like a very tiny puddle. And within that very tiny puddle, there are certainly going to be those who don't consider me as a

potential partner. So, in some sense, I've increased the potential for rejection. And so, with all of this combined, all the dating and relationships which didn't work out, the fact that I've narrowed my prospects, and so on, it occurred to me, as it had a few times in the past, that perhaps I'll never find a lifelong partner, and that perhaps I may end up spending the rest of my life alone. And not to say that I might not ever experience some romantic relationship again, but given my past experience, I have to consider that any future relationship is also likely to be tempered. So, that ultimately, it's really a question of whether or not I'll ever find myself in a lifelong partnership. What if I never meet someone who I spend the rest of my life with? What if I just end up spending the rest of my life alone? And when that thought first comes up in the mind, it can be very unsettling, disturbing, depressing, because we don't want that. We want just the opposite of that, which means even though we're considering this as a possibility, we don't really accept

it we're resistant to it and putting both optimism and pessimism aside and just being realistic. I had to face that possibility that it's a very realistic possibility, not to say I had completely closed myself off from the possibility of ever having a light partner or that I wasn't open to meeting such a person, but I was having to consider that both of these situations were valid possibilities. So, to be realistic, there is that realistic possibility that one may spend the rest of their life alone. And I know a lot of people who are in that place in their lives would like to be comforted with some kind of reassurance, for someone to tell them, Don't worry, you'll meet someone one day who is going to be a perfect match, and you'll spend the rest of your lives together. And I've had people tell me that, and it's nice to hear, but when you're in that place, it's very difficult to believe it, considering the current situation and considering all the previous experiences. It's very difficult.

to imagine that this may be true. We want for it to be true. We want to believe that we will indeed meet that person with whom we will live happily ever after. But there's a part of us which is deeply skeptical of this, and until we actually find ourselves in that situation, the tendency is to continue to be skeptical. Well, I'm not the kind of person who goes around offering people fantasies and false hopes, so let's just not even play that game. Let's consider the very realistic possibility that perhaps you will end up spending the rest of your life alone. Instead of trying to distract from this or to convince ourselves otherwise, let's just consider it a real possibility. In fact, let's just imagine for a moment that the future is predetermined, and we've gotten it from a very reliable source that we are indeed destined to be alone for the rest of our lives. If that were an absolute fact, could we accept it? If it were set in stone and there was absolutely nothing that we could do to

change it. Could we just accept it? Because what's the alternative? If we're in a situation that we cannot change, we really only have two choices. We can accept it, or we can resist it. And resistance always causes us to suffer. Because even though the situation is as it is, in our mind, we reject it. We won't accept it. Psychologically, we're resisting reality, and that causes us to suffer. And no amount of suffering can change anything, so the whole thing is unnecessary and useless. So the only other alternative is to accept it. And I mean really accepted. Because oftentimes, we say that we accept something, but what we really mean is that we acknowledge the situation or the possibility, which is not really the same as acceptance. Because you acknowledge something, and you still refuse to accept it. And as long as there's any psychological resistance at all, that means we haven't fully accepted it. Acceptance means to drop all of your resistance. So after having been in a relationship for a few years and once again finding myself single and also finding myself

rejected by one person after another. I was coming back to this possibility that perhaps I might be alone for the rest of my life. But instead of resisting that possibility, I decided to just accept it. What if I just let go of the need to be in a relationship? What if I just embrace being alone? What if I embrace the possibility that I might not ever find a lifelong partner? What if I let go of whatever resistance I have to all of that and just relax into this moment right here, right now? And as I came to terms with all of this, letting go of the resistance and coming into a space of acceptance, I found myself experiencing a great sense of liberation and inner peace. And I've been single now for several years, and I've also been happier than I have in all my life. I really enjoy being alone, and I don't have any interest right now in being in a relationship. And I've said before that I'm not closed off to that possibility if I happen to meet someone who I'm

really aligned with, and it evolves into a romantic partnership. I'm open to embracing and exploring that, but I'm not looking for it. I'm content where I am, and I know this probably seems difficult to imagine. If someone had come to me when I was in that place of deep despair and loneliness and told me all of this, if they had told me that I could be happy just being alone, I probably wouldn't have believed it. I might want for it to be true, but I think I would find it very difficult to believe. I would probably think they don't really understand my situation, that they haven't experienced this for themselves, that they don't really know what it's like to be lonely and depressed. Even if they said to me that they had been through all of that, I would probably be a bit skeptical because when you're in the midst of that despair, that's all you see and experience. It's like being in a thick fog, and you can't see anything beyond that, so the assumption is that the fog is everywhere.

that it extends out indefinitely in all directions, but the reality could be that fog is actually very small, and you just happen to be right in the middle of it, which means you can't see how small it actually is. Your perspective is obscured by it. Someone standing outside of the fog might see that it's only occupying a very small area and that everywhere else it's clear and sunny. But to the person who is in the fog, all they see is fog and nothing else. And from that perspective, it can seem as if this is how it's always going to be, especially if you've been there for a long time. And if that's been your experience for most of your life, then you begin to get the sense that it's always going to be that way, and it's hard to be convinced otherwise. Well, let's suppose that it is that way. I'm not gonna fight anyone on that. If you have the sense that it's always going to be that way, then I would challenge you to just fully accept that. Because if you

really believe it's never going to be any better than this, then why not just accept it and I mean really accept it. Because when you fully accept something, it no longer bothers you. You're at peace with it. So if this is something which is still bothering you, that means you're still resisting it. So can you let go of that resistance and just accept things the way they are? And like many things, this is going to seem like it's a lot easier said than done. It's easy to talk about acceptance. It's easy to have some conceptual understanding of it, but to actually do it is something altogether different. And that's going to be entirely up to you. No one is going to do it for you. So you're going to have to commit to it, to commit to letting go, to releasing whatever expectations and attachments you may have, whatever resists you have in regard to all of this, and to embrace where you currently are in your life, to embrace the reality that you are

alone right now without a partner, and to find value and opportunity in that. What benefit might there be in them? Perhaps it's an opportunity to really go more deeply into yourself and discover who you are. Perhaps it's an opportunity for you to pursue your passion or to develop some skill, to really focus on whatever you need to be doing for yourself without the distraction of a relationship. Because relationships can be very distracting; you have to give so much time and energy and attention to this other person. Maybe right now what you need is to give yourself that time and energy and attention. So, find the opportunity, see what this situation has to offer you, not by trying to force it in any way, but just by looking at it and asking yourself, What can I learn from this? How can I grow from this? And perhaps by observing whatever emotional disturbance is going on in you—the loneliness, the sadness, the frustration, and so on—and asking yourself, What desire or expectation is behind this feeling? And can I release that? Can I let go of that? And rather than dwelling on

the future, whether on the possibility of finding a partner or spending your life alone. Can you bring your attention back to this moment right here and just embrace the current situation, the current reality, just as it is? Because the future is unknown. We don't really know what's going to happen. We can only speculate. All we have right now is this moment. So why not forget about the future altogether and just live right now in this moment fully and attentively and let the future unfold of its own? If you find value in this content, be sure to LIKE, share, and subscribe. [Music] [Music]

Are You Destined to Spend Your Life Alone?

Awaken Insight

외로움의 삶을 살 운명이라고 느낀다는 시청자의 의견은 화자 자신의 과거 경험과 공감을 불러일으켰습니다.

화자는 일련의 실망스러운 관계와 거절을 겪으며 깊은 외로움과 절망의 시기를 보냈습니다.

개인적으로 성장하면서 원하는 파트너의 유형에 대해 더욱 까다로워졌고, 그 결과 데이트 상대가 제한되고 거부감이 생겼습니다.

혼자서 인생을 보낼 수 있는 가능성

화자는 자신의 데이트 경험과 거절당할 가능성이 높아지면서 평생 파트너를 찾지 못할지도 모른다는 불안한 생각으로 이어졌다고 회상합니다.

누군가를 만날 수 있는 열린 마음에도 불구하고 남은 인생을 혼자 보낼 수 있는 현실적인 가능성을 인정합니다.

연사는 헛된 희망을 제시하기보다는 이러한 가능성을 직시하는 것이 중요하다고 강조하며, 혼자라는 생각을 받아들이는 것이 더 현실적인 접근 방식이 될 수 있다고 제안합니다.

저항은 고통으로 이어질 뿐이므로 변화할 수 없는 상황을 받아들이는 것이 중요합니다.

진정한 수용은 모든 심리적 저항을 내려놓고 현재의 순간을 받아들이는 것을 포함합니다.

관계에 대한 욕구를 내려놓고 고독을 받아들임으로써 해방과 내면의 평화, 행복을 찾을 수 있습니다.

안개 속에 있으면 안개가 무한히 펼쳐져 있는 것처럼 착각할 수 있지만, 외부에서는 안개가 작은 영역으로 보일 수 있습니다.

이러한 관점은 안개 속 상황이 결코 변하지 않을 것이라는 믿음으로 이어질 수 있습니다.

문제는 현재의 현실을 온전히 받아들이고, 저항을 내려놓고, 자신이 처한 삶의 위치를 받아들이는 것입니다.

혼자는 관계의 방해에서 벗어나 자기 발견과 개인적 성장을 위한 기회를 제공합니다.

또한 열정과 기술 개발을 집중적으로 추구할 수 있습니다.

현재의 순간을 받아들이고 미래에 대한 기대를 내려놓으면 더 만족스럽고 세심한 삶을 살 수 있습니다.