Guys, I sometimes hear from the women around me that men in their marriageable age are not very proactive in dating or even in relationships. They wonder what these men are thinking. Especially during blind dates, it seems like things are going well at first, but then they fizzle out. In group chats, when a man asks for a woman's contact information, she thinks he is interested in her, but after some initial contact, it often just dies out. Lately, it seems like men in their marriageable age are like this, especially in the early stages of dating. 

There's a reason why women often end things abruptly: it’s because of the push-and-pull game. This is a fundamental passive skill for women. They struggle to actively appeal to men or approach them because their pride doesn’t allow it. They feel like it might make them seem too easy or lighthearted. If they put themselves out there and get rejected, they fear it would be embarrassing and feel shy about it.

It seems that men are trying to play mind games, but this tactic only works on those in their 20s and 30s who lack dating experience and become breathless just by looking at women. These newcomers have stopped growing emotionally. However, for men in their 20s who are physically healthy and young, and who have experienced emotional relationships and learned the reality of women, such tricks do not work. They can immediately recognize what kind of schemes are being unfolded and, moreover, they no longer have the energy to entertain such petty tactics. Men in their 30s, who are approaching their retirement years, not only lack stamina but also develop an immediate aversion to such behaviors. They think, Why should I be stressed about this? and quickly cut off contact. Women, on the other hand, are creatures who cannot easily let go of their phones; they may try to initiate contact deliberately or create excuses to establish dominance before a relationship even begins.

When they see me, they immediately cut ties, and then the women wonder why there’s no reaction at all. Ultimately, it ends without any results. In their twenties, men don’t have anything. Do they have money? Do they have a car? Do they have a Tesla? They have nothing to show for themselves, so they can't help but chase after women. Their heads are dominated by that thought. But when they reach their thirties, they have a lot to protect. In their twenties, they were so broke that they even borrowed money from friends to rent a motel, but as they start working, getting promotions, and slowly building their assets through investments, they find that they have many things to care about besides women. They don’t want to give up their position and wealth; they want to protect it. Even if it’s little, they’ve worked hard for it. Yet, they have to deal with the complaints and games of women they don’t even know, and they feel like they have to take on a subordinate role. Plus, they don’t even have the time for that and feel exhausted, which makes them frustrated.

As I grew older, my previously active attitude changed completely. In my twenties, while preparing for employment, I had nothing but a meager existence. Now that I'm in my thirties, despite working hard and investing while juggling my job, I can lift 1,700 pounds and have earned a promotion at work. It's been quite some time since my assets surpassed 100 million won. Of course, there are friends in their thirties who have assets in the hundreds of millions, but among the women in their twenties and thirties around me, many are traveling abroad and posting pictures, living their lives, yet they haven't even saved 10 million won. It's frustrating to think that because I look decent and have worked hard, I am treated as someone who plays games with emotions, while it’s clear I’ll just end up doing emotional labor in a dungeon-like situation. As a result, having experienced the emotional games I faced in my twenties, I find the thought of going through them again in my thirties utterly tiresome. I just don’t have the energy anymore, so I’ve decided to let it go.

As the age for first marriages keeps getting pushed into the early to mid-30s, the dating period for marriage often begins in the late 20s or early 30s. If you want to engage in serious relationships that are appropriate for your age, rather than playing games like kids trying to assert dominance, it's time to change that habit. You absolutely cannot lose your social status or wealth. So, handle the flirting appropriately. Let's go further. Yes, yes.

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