We’re still in jolly Paris, baby. Gabie is busy doing more important things - making chocolate - than looking after her man. Oh gosh. And Ollie had to step in. Back up wife Ollie. So we’re gonna go eat some cheese. Holy moly! There's an odour. Oh my gosh! There is an odour. What the heck is that? Are these cheeses with flipping candied fruit on top? - Oh my gosh! - It’s got something in the middle of it! Holy moly, this is nuts! This place is legit. What the hell is that? Roquefort with layers of some kind of chutney or jam? I appreciate as well that it’s in a display case for fancy watches. The Parisians might storm the shop to get to the cheese. You know those moped gangs. Enter the Fromage universe. Hello. Bonjour. Wow! Wait what’s this guy?

Is that a cheese? We’re gonna have to narrow this down. We don’t want to be in another macaron situation. So much sugar! Ollie is just going and asking for the smelliest cheese in the shop. Oh, there’s a key. Is it a safe? - What? - She’s bringing the keys. Oh my gosh, it’s a key to this shop. Is this like the vault, like in a bank? Where you store the special cheeses. Ok. What is that guy, that does not look like anything I’ve ever seen before? - Seriously mouldy. - The way it's presented it looks like it’s just been found in a field. Is it edible? Ok. What is the best cheese here? Ah, the truffle. That one looks amazing. Si vous plait. My dad literally, he would be in here for hours literally. Like Josh in a board game shop. He would be loving it.

(French) this one also. Oui? Vraiment? Merci beaucoup. Bonne journée. X2 Au revoir! She liked the rotten duck egg one. I’m nervous about that one. If you found your child eating it in a field, you would rush them to hospital. Did you need two bags? Yeah. Did we get that much cheese? Yeah. Ok, let’s go and try it I guess. Wow! Breakfast! I think we overdid it. Viva la France. I think we’re supposed to start with the more mild flavours and then work our way up. So I’m gonna crack open one of the bries. Whoa! Look how soft that brie is. It looks like a slice of walnut cake. Yeah. It literally does. It’s amazing that it kind of holds together. Do you want some wine? Yeah, I do. Gabie is away so the cats can play. Why’s that make me uncomfortable?

Look at that. Oh my gosh! Is this basically just brie with walnuts in? I have no idea; we’re about to find out. Oh wow! That is good. That is very good! It’s very good. You know what I like about that? It’s lazy, you know. It’s like buying a premixed gin and tonic in a can, you know? It’s nice to have nuts with cheese. But who wants to be opening a nut packet, opening cheese, combining them? So much effort. I don’t think there’s any innate advantage besides just saving you a job. The thing is that brie, that’s got so much more flavour. But it still remains subtle; it’s not an overpowering intense cheese. Have you seen the new season of Stranger Things? This would be like that pizza delivery guy. Chill guy, you know; he’s just having a good time. Mellow, laid back.

Exactly. I mean, you said if these cheeses were people. I think if we waited maybe ten thousand years, they probably would be. There’s so much life. There’s a lot of biotics and stuff going on. I don’t know if there are probiotics or bad biotics. Or antibiotics. No one's neutral when it comes to biotics. Microorganisms are there. Why can’t we just be like? Biotics are neither bad nor good, let’s not be pro or anti, just biotics. - Truffle me, wait… - Another brie. When you asked what was the best cheese they had, she went straight to this. Truffle-infused brie, very soft again. I asked that question in multiple different ways. I asked which one’s the best. She said this one. I said “which one is your favourite?” She said this one. Oh wow, ok. I said “which one’s is the strongest?” She said this one.

She was a good saleswoman. She sold it hard. Well, sold it soft really. So, there’s a line of truffle in the middle. To me, it just looks like cheesecake. My mind is telling me that’s sweet. That, whoa! Overpowering smell. Nicolas Cage’s pig would absolutely love that. That is such a strong truffle flavour. I should have had that one with bread, that is intense by itself. It’s like taking everything that is good about brie. Then supercharging it with a super intense truffle-y flavour. That’s a show-stopper. Stop the show, evacuate the hall, because there is a very strong smell in here. Potent. And we don’t know where it’s coming from. Potent. So, this one, covered in what I believe, cherries? Very visually pleasing I would say. As Gabie and I was saying. Combining fruit and chocolate is a cardinal sin.

Combining fruit and cheese in the cheese. Is a papal sin, it's higher than cardinal. Ok, I see where you’ve gone with that. Look, don’t bash it until you try it. Ok. The cheese is amazing. Very soft! Very soft. Softer than either of the first ones. The candied cherry feels like it came in fancy dress to a formal dress dinner party. It’s trying too hard. You know? It's trying way too hard. Try the cheese by itself, the creamiest cheese I’ve ever had. You just licked it off the knife I’m using to cut the cheese. Might as well switch that out now. I got carried away. Delicious, Josh. Literally, it’s like cream. Like very gone off cream. Next up, this was aged Comte, not sure how old. I love a comte. If you want nice cheese with wine in France. Comte. A smooth taste on the tongue.

It feels like a perfect charcuterie cheese. It’s my favourite. Well. Saucisson? Saucisson. Saucey X3 Saucisson. A bit of comte, a bit of saucisson, can’t go wrong. That is sublime. The thing is with French sausages, it’s such a strong flavour. You need to literally have it like paper thin. You couldn't fry that up and have bangers and mash. I’m so glad we’re doing this in private because… Nah, we should do this more often. We should, every lunchtime. Just come to France. Train to Paris. Alors! Cheese and wine. Saucisson! Alright, Roquefort. Star of the show. This guy is so soft, this guy comes on a hard bit of wood. Get a bunch of those, you could build a glider. What? How much cheese have you had already? A lot. A lot.

What is going on here? Look at that, that’s a mouldy bun. Mouldy and holey. This guy has chutney or whatever that is. Layered into the cheese like a Victoria sponge cake. - It’s like Victoria sponge. - They know what they are doing. Oh wow! X3 That’s a mouldy cheese! The thing is it doesn't smell strong at all, it smells creamy. It’s got that sharp mouldy flavour. But it’s not actually that strong. You're right but it doesn't give you that intense aftertaste. Kind of neck burn. Like a whisky. The aftertaste is creamy, very creamy. I think the marmalade is doing a lot of work there. Mellows it out a little bit. Mellows it out. Alright, the time has come. The mouldy duck egg. Earlier we were saying if you left these cheeses for a few thousand years they would probably

become sentient. This guy’s already nested. He's ready, he’s ready to go. Look, the mould is on the straw as well! Around it. I guess they put it on the straw to specifically cultivate this kind of mould. I’m actually nervous about this. How is this safe? The mouldy straw cannot be edible. No way, surely that would make you sick. And the straw down the bottom has gone black like silage. Oh dear lord! That’s worrying. X2 It’s freaking grown into the straw, it’s become part of the straw. Oh my gosh! It has literally grown into the straw. How are you supposed to eat this? Look at the bottom, how much mould is on the straw. Have they just been trying to sell this for the last 30 years and we were just the first idiots stupid enough to buy it? This is another level. That guy is super furry.

Can you see how furry that is? Are you seeing this? We had the mouldiest cheese in the UK, the blue brain. It felt intentional, it was all uniform. It didn’t have fur like that though. Can you eat the fur? There’s only one way to find out. Alright dadgummit. Wait, is there a chance we’re not supposed to eat the mould? I think there definitely is a chance. I’m just gonna google, can you eat cheese mould fur? I'm actually sweating. Mould is an integral part of the cheese-making process. Almost none of it will kill you. Almost! Alright, I’m ready. Let’s do an intro. Hi, I’m Josh. I’m Ollie and this is jackass. You're an idiot, that’s why you wanted me to say that. That’s delicious. You're a fan of that? I want more mould. The mould tastes kind of alcoholic.

It tastes a bit fizzy. Does it taste fizzy? It does. It’s kind of concerning. It’s good. X2 It’s extremely strong. It’s like a fizzy goat's cheese. Yeah, is it goat's cheese? It’s probably goat's cheese. You know what I mean about alcoholic. It’s that same fermentation, I think. Oh, that’s just mould that came off. Oh wow, it came off the actual cheese. Too much mould. Too much mould. It was too fizzy. I just sucked the fur off it. Let’s wash that down. Definitely need a bit of wine to wash it down. I’m not a massive fan of goat's cheese. And that’s easily the most extreme goat's cheese I’ve ever had in my life. That’s hardcore. I like that, pray for everyone on the Eurostar with me. We’re on to our last cheese, Ollie. This guy. Smell it through the plastic.

How, how is that possible? I don’t know. How is that possible? It’s sweaty, it’s so sweaty. Oh my gosh, I got a smell. It smells literally like rotten fish. I’m not even sniffing. You asked for the strongest cheese that they have in France. Just get it. Cut a piece. Hurry up and then we need to cover it up again. Wow, it’s so wet. Why is it… It keeps getting into my nose. It's literally breaking up. This is the only cheese that the lady in the shop was like, “I don’t like that one.” Are you serious? Did she say that? There’s an impulse to like, move your head away. Literally, I might vomit just from the smell. Alright, let's do it. Ok, let's go. 1, 2, 3. It’s all in the nose I think. I quite like that.

Is that weird? I'm so confused. How can you like that? The smell. I’m just inhaling the fumes. I had a thick bit. Oh, you had the outside, the mouldy bit. I think I just got the creamy bit on the inside. The creamy bit is really quite mild. I genuinely don’t know how you can say you like that. That’s the mouldy bit on the outside. Oh wow. Oh yeah, it’s all in that little rind. -My first bite was all rind because you cut out the exterior. -No, that's horrible. Try the middle only. The middle is really creamy. It’s still got that strong flavour, but like not overpowering. You need to take this back for your dad. No, absolutely not. Actually, it might actually be illegal to take that on the Eurostar. It should be. I mean, you're bringing a living organism. So you're technically smuggling. It’s like the Demogorgon's brain.

Exactly, and we all know how that ended. No, we don’t! They haven't released it yet. By the time this video comes out, it will be out. Oh, ok, and we all know how that ended. If this cheese was a person. You know when you're reading the Guinness World Record book. You see that guy who’s got the longest toenails in history. And he's been growing his toenails for 40 years. Can you stop? X3 This is that guy. Sorry, it’s gross. Favourites. This is what I’d eat with most regularity by far. Comte, absolutely incredible. This guy with the marmalade, whatever that is amazing. Basically, they were all good. Except for the demogorgon and the mouldy duck egg. Did you have a favourite no? I don’t care anymore. Well, on that note, guys. This has been jolly in Paris. We’ll see you jolly soon.

See you later. Cheers. Today, Ollie, I have prepared something jolly special for us. A bit of French fine dining. This dish was literally created for the queen. How did you even do that?

Cheese in France is NEXT LEVEL.

We're Josh and Ollie, and we're very Jolly :D
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Cheese in France is NEXT LEVEL.

Cheese in France is NEXT LEVEL.

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