Just shot me. I didn't mean to. Are you okay? No. The little bitch shot me. Language. They're only plastic babies. It was an accident. What did I tell you would happen if you got him a gun? With this? Buddy? Uncool. That's it. No, no, no, no, no. The agreement was that if he shoots someone, you shoot him. We were serious about that. Yes, we were. And now you have to follow through. I'm so sorry. Liar. Go. He's got a birthday party. What's more important here, Dad? You can shoot him afterwards. He'll be home at two. I can't shoot him at two. I'm showing a house at two. What about. Three? No, he's got a soccer game at three. And then we got to leave for that dinner thing at five, 415. You could shoot him at 415. Yeah, I guess that works for me, huh?

Shoot, Luke. Sorry, dude. It's on the calendar. Oh, come on. Yeah, Mom, just so you know, Dylan cannot have mayonnaise. That's random. Why are you telling me that? Because he's coming to the party. Is that absolutely necessary? Yes, because she can't go ten minutes without her boyfriend's tongue in her mouth. It's like he's feeding a baby bird. Don't be so jealous. I'm sure you'll meet someone super hot at computer camp. Hey, there's our little roustabouts. You look like you patched things up pretty good, huh? Yeah. Oh, we can learn so much from the children, but it seems kind of silly now what we're even fighting about, huh? I made fun of his accent. What accent? I made fun of him for having the same thing for lunch every day. I made fun of him because his mom used to dig coal. What he said you were a coal digger.

Okay, I think we can move on. Who said I was a gold digger? That's what my mom told me. What's a coal digger? Sweetheart, you heard it wrong. It's gold digger. I'm going to have to call you back. Well, I really do not think that I remember ever saying that. Well, you said in the car. You said at Christmas. You said Mexican. Okay. Mr. leaves his sweatshirts at school every day, suddenly remembers everything. Thank you. Did you draw on my poster? Yeah, I did. Maybe you'll think about that the next time you read my journal. I didn't read your stupid journal, and I waited in line to get this signed. Haley. Oh, don't be such a baby. It's just some dude with weird hair. That's Maya Angelou. Idiot. Oh, sorry. I don't follow the WNBA.

You know what? This is the worst thing you've ever done, and I'll never forgive you. You started it. What are you looking at? Well, I just heard. All right, let's all give Luke a big hand for being so brave. This feels so weird. What does it eat? Oh, just little boy brains. Well, at least Luke's got nothing to worry about. Is there mayo in this? No, you're good. So I was thinking maybe we could go slip away. So does anyone want to pet the iguana? Hells yes, dear. I love lizards. What's his name? Her name is Lizzy. Wow. I totally get that. You don't deserve this. What? Hot reptile chick. You know, probably has her own apartment. Obviously. Okay. Touching gross stuff. They're just talking. You're right. Dylan's far too sophisticated to get sucked in by a single lady with tons.

of cool tattoos. Look at him. He's sketchy. He's like Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic. I bet he goes to art school. Do you think he's sketching us? Yeah. Us 35 to Boston May board at this time and contact. Uh, it's Dylan. I'm trapped. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What a drama queen. So airports, huh? Yeah. Are you drawing something there? Yeah. It's no good. Tortured artist. Classic. Oh, yeah. It's a robot. Oh, yeah, sure is. What's behind him? A dinosaur. It's for school. We're supposed to make a comic strip. We had to do that, too, Back in the eighth. He was 14 years old. Shut up. He's my soul mate. Ow! Ow, Ow, ow!

The Best Dunphy Kids Moments in Season 1 (Mashup) | Modern Family | TBS

The Best Dunphy Kids Moments in Season 1 (Mashup) | Modern Family | TBS