today, we're going to talk about how the ultimate Chads are actually virgins. So, in the spiritual Eastern Traditions, there's this concept of brahmacharya. Brahmacharya is a Sanskrit word that usually gets translated into celibacy, but technically it's not celibacy. What the literal translation is, is to dwell in Brahman. And Brahman is sort of this Cosmic Consciousness. So, what it literally sort of means is to like focus on the Divine, which kind of more literally translates as non-lustfulness. And if you sort of look at these Eastern Traditions, these like monks and, you know, meditators and people living in the Himalayas and whatnot, they talk about the immense power of brahmacharya. And they kind of say that if you're a brahmachari in the right way, this is what sort of cultivates the most powerful spiritual energy that will result in like Enlightenment and freedom from bondage and all this other kinds of stuff, right? So, basically, what they're saying is if you're not lustful, you will

become op. Hey y'all, I want to take a second to talk about HG coaching. And y'all may be wondering, Oh my God, bro, like I don't want to talk about coaching, I just want to watch YouTube videos, because there's a part of your brain that recognizes that you need to do better in life, but you don't actually want to invest the time and energy, you just want to sit there and watch another YouTube video. Which is exactly why I developed a coaching program, because I realize the problem that we have today is not that we don't know what to do, it's that we don't really understand how we work and how to get ourselves to actually do things. And the reason I developed a coaching program is so that 12 weeks from now, you can actually have made progress. We've shown that people improve in their sense of life purpose by about 58% and a 25 to 45% reduction in depression and anxiety. The reason we made a coaching program isn't because you can't DIY it, it's

because if you want to have made significant progress 3 months from now, you're going to need help doing it. So if you're interested, check out the link in the description below. And if you're still not ready yet, totally fine. That's why we literally have 800 YouTube videos. And so, monks in the East are all about not having sex and not being lustful. But here in the West, and sort of in the developed world, we're actually moving completely in the opposite direction. Because in today's society, sex sells, right? Everything that we look at is somehow sexual in some way. So, you know, look at any sort of celebrity or any movie, they're going to be dressing in ways that sort of provoke their sexuality. We as a society are obsessed with sex. We sort of place value on human beings based on their sexual activity. So, for some of us, if you're having a lot of sex, that means that you are a superior human being to other human beings. But on the flip

that's usually men, right? So we'll sort of say, Oh, like this guy is like so he's so Alpha, and he's having sex with so many people. He is a better human being than I am. And on the flip side, we've got the betas, right? And the betas are kind of like, Well, I'm not having as much sex as other people, or I've never had sex, so like I'm not useful as a human being. And I've literally worked with patients who are suicidal because they've never had sex at the age of 21. I'm not trying to bash them or anything, but that's just people's experience. On the flip side, if we look at women, this is also a situation where the more sex you have, the less valuable you are as a woman, right? So something weird is going on in our society where we place value on human beings based on their sexual activity. And there may be some kind of like biological imperative kind of argument here, right? So a lot of these people are quite pseudoscientific and

they'll sort of say, Well, like, the purpose of human beings is to procreate. And so, like, you know, procreation is why the reason that sex is so important. It's because it's biology. It's not us. It's not a human construction. This is what the biology. The biology wants us to all have sex. And so, if you sort of think about it for a second, right? A virgin who goes to a sperm bank once a week is much more biologically successful than someone who is getting laid all the time and pressuring all of their partners to be on birth control or get abortions because they don't want to be a father and they don't want the responsibilities of it, right? So, like, the biological imperative thing is kind of insane. Like, we don't need human beings to have human beings. And if you kind of look at it, like, there are lots of people out there who are neither alphas nor betas, but are just like from countries without birth control, and they're having like eight, nine kids, and they're, you know, just

ordinary human beings. So, I don't quite buy this biological imperative. I'm sure there's some argument, there's some truth to it, obviously, right? So, we know that we want to propagate the species and all that good stuff, but I think that this is sort of where a lot of psychological stuff gets conflated as biology. But at the end of the day, I was sort of stuck between these two perspectives. So, here in the East, you have all these people who are saying that non-lustfulness is super OP, and here in the West, we have entire lives that are constructed around getting laid. So then, I started to wonder, okay, if these like people in the East are right about this, then there should be some science to it, right? There should be some scientific evidence that not having sex for some amount of time or not being lustful, which is technically what it is (you can actually have sex as a brahmachari, which is an issue for a later date), but so what they were sort of saying is that, okay, like if this truly makes you OP, there

must be some scientific evidence for it, and I went, and I tried to find like, okay, what does the science say about people who are not lustful or don't have sex? Like, what would change in the brain, right? So, I get, when I get curious about this stuff, I look at the science, and what I found was I couldn't find an answer, and that's when it hit me that there's actually a really, really interesting answer. So, if we look at the science of sex and the brain regions involved in sex, I was trying to figure out, okay, which brain region is affected if we have sex or we don't have sex, which parts of the brain are involved, and it turns out that literally every part of the brain is involved in sex. And this is actually a really interesting phenomenon because if you look at basically any other human function, if we look at like language or the ability to do mathematics or even hunger and thirst, if we look at the way that we form relationships, the way that we process visual information, the way we

experience our emotions where we where willpower comes from every other human faculty can be reduced to some part of the brain. The weird thing with sex is that every part of the brain, literally every part of the brain, is involved in sex. So let's take a quick look at this paper. So this is a great review. It's called the neuroanatomy and function of human sexual behavior, okay? So they're talking about okay, which part of the brain are involved with sex. And if we kind of scroll down like this is what's kind of interesting, summary of brain areas involved in human sexual behavior. So like okay, so this is the reward system, there's the thalamus is involved, the hypothalamus is involved, the amygdala is involved, the septal region, the prefrontal cortex, the cingulate cortex, the insula, right? All of those are involved and all the sensory parts are involved too, the occipital cortex and all that kind of stuff. So like basically the whole brain and then like all of these

areas are somehow main brain regions of involved in human behavior. It's like most of the brain, okay, and then there's also subdivisions like their various cortical areas. So, the cerebral cortex is kind of what makes us human, and lots of different parts of the cerebral cortex are involved in sex. But what about things from a more, and they talk about networks and stuff like that, um, but what about things like neurotransmitters, right? So, we sort of say, okay, like dopamine is the pleasure chemical, and serotonin helps you feel good, and like norepinephrine is adrenaline, and like all of these different neurotransmitters do different things, right? It turns out that literally all of them are involved in sex in some way. And so, this is the really crazy thing, is I was trying to figure out, okay, like if someone is celibate for a little while or they're non-lustful, which parts of the brain get freed up, and it turns out that all of them get affected, okay, and that's

when it sort of hit me, holy crap, maybe these mugs are actually onto something because the reason they say it's so op is because this is the one axis which will affect like literally all parts of your brain and affect every neurotransmitter. And so maybe they're actually onto something. And as I dug more into the research, I found a couple of things that I thought were really interesting. So we're going to just highlight three of the many regions that are involved in this. Okay, the first region that we're going to talk about is the amygdala. So the amygdala is the center of our brain that we experience primarily negative emotions, and it's also our survival center of the brain. So this is a part of the brain that helps us stay alive. So this is what teaches us things like fear. So if I see a bear out in the wilderness, I'm going to have a fear response that'll happen in my amygdala, and then like I will hopefully run away from the bear. So if we sort of

think about it like the amygdala is critical for survival, but a lot of our suffering comes from the amygdala. If we look at people who are depressed, or anxious, or have borderline personality disorder, or narcissistic personality disorder, even ADHD or Autism Spectrum, all of these disorders have some kind of disregulation of the amygdala. So people who have ADHD, for example, have emotional disregulation. They feel their emotions more powerfully, and it's harder to get them under control. And this has to do with a disregulated amygdala or non-optimized amygdala. So it turns out that if you look at sort of the science of it, the Neuroscience of it, the neuropathology of it, if you lesion the amygdala, if someone damages the amygdala, what happens is we become hypersexual. So as the amygdala gets damaged or weakened in some way, our sexuality actually skyrockets. And in some cases, there's this thing called clu

buy syndrome, which is like really really hypersexuality. Like these people are constantly, you know, humping things and masturbating, and hitting on things. Like, and I, I'm not talking about internet degenerates, okay? I know that y'all are going to say, I do that too, everyone on the Internet is so horny. No, this is like a medical condition that people need to be hospitalized because otherwise they would constantly sexually assault other human beings. Okay, so maybe internet users, I don't know, but it's a serious problem. Okay, so here's the interesting thing. So as we damage the amygdala, hypersexuality increases. So then there's a really interesting principle in the brain, which is that most things are reciprocal, right? So it kind of begs the question, okay, well if we like control the amygdala and we restrain the amygdala, what would end up happening? Would our sexuality decrease? The answer is yes, and some people even hypothesize that a certain kind of activity in the amygdala is required for Spiritual experiences so

you have these like stories of these like Mystics or Saints or even people like dostoevski. And there's a lot of like interesting neuroscientific hypothesis hypotheses about what's going on in the brains of these people who are like hyper religious and have visions of God. And it turns out that there's a particular activity within the amydala that correlates with spiritual experiences. So on the one hand if we damage the amydala we become hypersexual. But if we do something else to the amydala, I'm going to go ahead and say fine tune it. But that's not really a fair scientific statement. Then we sort of result in spiritual or religious experiences. Really interesting, right? The second aspect that is really really important is that the inhibition of sexual activity and sexual thoughts is probably the number one cause of willpower drain. So if we look at the ability to regulate ourselves, we can only regulate ourselves so much, right? So after a hard day of work when I'm when I kind of get home and I'm sort of

fatigued, and I don't want to do anything. Like, that's when I order a pizza because I don't have any willpower left to eat a salad after a hard day of work. When we feel emotionally drained, when we feel mentally drained, we have no willpower left to do anything else. And so one of the really interesting things is, if you look at kind of the science of it, one of the most powerful sources of willpower drain is actually inhibition of sexual thoughts and sexual activities. And this is kind of interesting because if you look at people who do noap, one of the reasons that I think noap is so hard is because we have all these sexual desires and impulses, and noap is all about regulating them, right? So we're going to smash him down with willpower, and the reason it's so hard is because then you don't have willpower for anything else. The reason it's so hard is because you're not dealing with the underlying desire or horniness, which

means that you're constantly regulating it. And what I've sort of found in my clinical work is that when people are sexually obsessed, it doesn't mean that they're getting laid all the time or whatever, but the majority of their thoughts have to do with horniness, lustfulness, thinking about sex. They tend to stall in life. And the more that I sort of read this research, the more I connected the dots that it's not that these people are like worse or pathetic or they're betas or anything like that because that's what they sort of conclude. The simple reason is because their brain is spending so much time and energy on regulating their sexual impulses that they've got nothing left in the tank to build other parts of their life. And the really interesting thing is that even the red pillars have sort of stumbled upon this, right? And the red pillars are the ones who will say like, actually stop worrying about getting laid and focus on yourself. And so they've also sort of stumbled into this, which is really interesting, which is that stop thinking about sex so much.

and start going to the gyms. You know, work on your career, do all of these things, and then attraction will come. The second thing that's really interesting is that sexual activity, sexual thoughts result in a lot of require a lot of inhibition that results in a lot of willpower drain. The third thing that we're going to talk about, and there's like thousands more, but the third thing we're going to focus on is actually serotonin. So, serotonin is a neurotransmitter that's responsible for a lot of stuff, including things like gut peristalsis. And what does gut peristalsis mean? That means that as we eat something, the food travels from our stomach all the way through our intestines and out the back end, right if we're lucky. And so, that is governed by serotonin. So, serotonin does all kinds of stuff, but one of the things that it does in the brain is it leads to a sense of contentment and peace and relaxation. So, what we sort of know is that there's two

kinds of like pleasure or positive experiences that humans can have. One is governed by dopamine, so dopamine gives us excitement, joy, pleasure, adrenaline, fun, and serotonin gives us contentment. We're kind of chilling, we're relaxing, I'm happy, I don't need to do anything fun because I'm just sitting by the water and I'm reading my book and I'm kind of just enjoying life, okay. We also know that serotonin is somehow impaired or messed up in some way when it comes to a lot of mental illnesses. That sort of theory is still being hotly debated, but what we sort of know is that medications that boost our serotonin transmission in the brain tend to alleviate symptoms of depression and anxiety, so we sort of know that, like, high levels of serotonin, generally speaking, are kind of healthy, but when we give someone this antidepressant or anti-anxiety medication, one of the most common side effects as we boost serotonin transmission in the brain is anorgasmia or reduced sexual drive.

Anorgasmia is the inability to have an orgasm, which means that people on SSRIs or antidepressant medication. They can still become erect or become somewhat sexually aroused, but they're not able to complete an orgasm. So, it's difficult for them. The second thing is that we find that there's a reduction in arousal. So, once again, we're seeing something really, really interesting, which is that as we jack up our serotonin levels, it leads to theoretically more peace and contentment, but makes it difficult to have sex. And now, this is kind of really interesting, right? Because now we're sort of stumbling into something that's really kind of interesting, which is that if we are a lot of the healthy things in life, a lot of the optimal functioning that we want in life actually is inversely correlated with our sexuality. The more lusty we are, the more we have to inhibit our sexual impulses, and the less willpower we have, the less productive we are. There's something about weird around serotonin and contentment where the more content we

are if you artificially boost serotonin we become less sexual over time, and that's absolutely something that I can attest to in terms of my own own spiritual practice. We just can become less lustful. And the last thing is that something around our emotional regulation and our hypersexuality is correlated, where the more disregulated our emotions are, the more likely we are to become sexual, and the more regulated our emotions are, the more likely we are to become spiritual. So there's some really interesting Neuroscience kind of evidence about this. Now the question kind of becomes, okay, Dr. K, but like what do we do about it? Are you saying that I should become non-lustful? And this is where I'd love to share with you all kind of a story. Okay, so once upon a time there was a monk, and when the monk was meditating, he noticed that there was a rat in his room that was running by. So monk would sit in meditation, the rat would realize, okay, Monk's not awake, it's like they're asleep, so I can run around.

and stuff like that. So, the monk goes to a friend of inst and says, hey, like every time I meditate, there's this rat that comes out. Friend is like, you know, don't worry about it. If you have a rat problem, you should get a cat. The monk is like, that sounds like a great idea. So, he gets a cat. And then as he gets the cat, he starts to realize, oh, like I need to feed the cat something. So, he goes to his friend and he says, well, now I've got this cat. The cat took care of the rat, but I got to feed the cat. What should I do? And the friend says, no problem. So, I have cats too. Really simple thing, you just need to get a cow and you can just milk the cow every day. And then you'll have plenty of milk for the cat and you'll have milk for yourself too. So, the monk is like, great, to solve this problem of what to feed the cat, I will get a cow. And then the monk is like, hold on a second.

so he gets milk for a couple days, and he's like well, what am I supposed to feed the cow? So he goes to his friend, and he says well, now I've got this cow, like, I don't know what to feed it. He's like hey, no problem, I, I got you man. I, since you're a monk and you're a holy person, I've got this plot of land. I'll let you use the plot of land. You just have to take care of it and stuff like that, and you'll have plenty of grazing land for your cow. And so then the monk is like okay, fine, thank you so much. So he gets this plot of land, and the cow is grazing every day, and now he's like taking care of this plot of land, and he's like well, like now what do I do? I mean, this is too much, like taking care of this whole plot of land, like it's too much for me to handle. And his friend is like don't worry about it, you know, there's, there's absolutely an easy

solution to this the monkeyy is like what's that he's like you should get married have a family right cuz on a farm like you can't take care of a whole Farm by yourself so you need to get married have some kids and you'll be you'll be golden you'll be Gucci the monke is like okay fine she decides to get married and have kids and this I love this story because it's like this is what we've done with sex we've taken this tiny little thing which is sex and by the way y'all may be surprised to hear do you know how much sex people have on average so the a average sexual coupling lasts 3 to 7 minutes and if you pull the average person who has sex including women they will say that 10 to 30 minutes of sexual penetrative intercourse is too much the average sexual duration is 3 to 7 minutes and if you're someone who's Like a Virgin who's never had sex and all you do is watch pornography and these are

hour and a half pornography videos. This may sound confusing, but if you are someone who has had sexual relationships for a long period of time, you will know exactly what I'm talking about. It doesn't take that long. The other wild thing about this, by the way, that's why foreplay is so important, okay? Because like, you know, people just don't like penetrative intercourse like 25 minutes straight. That's why foreplay and arousal and all that stuff is really, really important, okay? But that's neither here nor there. The other really interesting is how often do people have sex. Most people have sex once a week, sometimes twice a week. And so here's the problem with our society today. We have an activity that we do for on average 3 to 7 minutes once a week, okay? So let's say that like that in that the way that we collected that data is kind of messed up. So let's be like even more conservative. Let's say we have three time sex three times a week, okay? So like triple the

average. And let's say that our duration is also triple the average, we're going to have sex for 21 minutes three times a week. This is 1 hour of your week. And what do we construct to get this hour of enjoyment, right? It's one hour a week. This results in my sense of self-worth. This results in the career that I pick. It results in the way that I do my hair, the clothing that I buy, the fact that I need to buy clothing, the fact that I need to have a job, what I eat, what I want to spend my time doing. Everything that we do in this life is just like the Monk and the rat in order to satisfy ourselves for 63 minutes a week on the top end. We are constructing our entire life to do these 63 minutes. We are obsessed with it. And there are people that I've worked with that are literally suicidal because they can't have sex. And so what does this mean for you? So I want to share with you all kind of like a very, very interesting

perspective. So when we look at, you know, people who are obsessed with sex and they kind of say, like, okay, like I'm going to make, I need, I make six figures, I need to become six feet tall, I need to have a 6-inch dick, like, whatever, right? So I need to do all these things. I need to get in shape and then I can get laid as much as I want to. So you are, by the way, sacrificing the rest of your life for this objective, which I don't think is worth it, but okay, fine, if you want to say it's worth it in the biological imp of whatever. But I'm going to give you all kind of this interesting perspective from the East, which is really what brahmacharya is, which is non-lustfulness, which is, I want y'all to think about what you want freedom and power for. So a lot of people that I talk to will say, like, yeah, I want to be free and I want to have power. I want to have money. And the question is why, right? Why

do you want freedom? So I don't want any external constraints. I don't want to go to work. I don't want to have to have a job. I just want an endless amount of money in my bank account. And then the question is why. And then what. These people almost always inevitably come down down to is so I can indulge my internal desires. So if I had no external constraints, then I could do whatever I feel like. But the crazy thing is that giving into whatever you feel like is a different kind of bondage. It's not really freedom. If I have an endless amount of money, but all I'm doing every day is like using cocaine and like eating unhealthy food and like hiring hookers or like whatever. Or even not even hookers, but taking people on first-class flights so that I can get laid. What kind of freedom is that? Like it sounds epic, don't get me wrong, right? And I've literally worked with people who have done this, right? So I've worked with people who are have just gigantic trust fund babies and their lives are absolute.

messes. And you can look at celebrities, and you can look at all kinds of people who are privileged. You could see like these people are screwed up. And I think what the yogis really figured out, and this is the value of brahmacharya, is that even if you have all the external freedom in the world, are you just going to give in bondage within? Are you going to give in all of these impulses? Yeah, I drink this kind of coffee every day, and I'd have this $5,000 espresso machine, and it would make the best cup of espresso, and then everything around me like, I do this, I do this, I do this, and you're just giving into that bondage over and over and over again, and it does not lead to happiness. Now, I'm not saying don't pursue it because I think the right thing to do is to chase all of those things, right? By all means, go for it and get your $5,000 espresso machine and have the $5,000 cup of espresso.

then have a $2 cup of espresso from the Cuban place down the street, and notice the difference between those two things. If y'all haven't guessed, I've actually done those two things right, and what you'll discover, I think, is what the yogis discovered when they sort of discovered brah macharia, which is that bondage to our internal self is actually the source of our suffering. And if we really want to be free from in this world, it's not the outside stuff that we necessarily need to be free from; that if you can be free from the things in here, then you will have true freedom and Bliss and all kinds of other stuff. And on a more practical perspective, I think what they sort of realized is as we stop obsessing over sex, it frees up our brain to handle all kinds of other things. So at the end of the day, I'm not suggesting that y'all become brahmacharis, I'm not suggesting that you become celibate, but paradoxically, that's what helped me.

know find my partner long term which is when I walked around, and I kind of said, Hey, I'm celibate now, right? And something beautiful happen when I did that. I said, Okay, I'm going to be a brahmachari because I want to be a spiritual Chad. And then what happened is all of my interactions changed, right? So now when I meet people, women, I'm not like worried about, Does this person like me? Does this person not like me? I just get to be with this person with no goal in mind, with no thoughts of lust or anything like that. I'm just like, I'm going to just be with this person. I'm going to appreciate this human being for who they are. Even when I meet with men, there's no thoughts of, Okay, this person is better looking than I am, less better looking than I am. I'm Chad, they're more Alpha, I'm more beta. All those thoughts go out the window because it's like I'm not worried about that anymore, right? That's not a part of my life. So I can sit down with

another dude and like we can just be chilling without any sense of competition. Or I'm meeting this friend for the first time and a hot girl walks up and now suddenly it's like, all right, like now we're in this competition to one-up each other and all this other stupid crap, and you just let freak get, Let It Go, be free of it and it's liberating to not worry about that crap all the time. Imagine what your life would be like if you were not thinking about sex or getting laid or what this person thinks or what that person thinks. Imagine what you could accomplish but instead we sacrifice our whole life, our whole sense of identity. We choose careers; literally, people will give themselves heart attacks to make so much money so that they can get laid by the person who they think is the hottest. You're sacrificing so much of your life for this one thing and how much is it really? 3 to 7 minutes once a week is what we're talking about. So, is it

worth it. I encourage you all to think about this. This isn't uh stop having sex or anything like that. This is like think about the way that Society has conditioned you. Think about what you want your life to be. And if you really want to be free of all that crap and really want to live up to your full potential, I strongly encourage you to take one step towards [Music] brahmacharya m.

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