most people don't make advanced changes in their life because they lost connection to their self. Time for yourself is not the same as time listening to yourself. We're in this culture of such rampant addiction to consumption that we don't have any time to think. When you honor yourself, now you make bold moves. When you honor yourself, you come from a different place of strength. For everybody, there's a consequence to your inaction. But the thing that's so strange about life, almost always, the consequence to inaction is [Music] blind. most people don't make significant change to their lives because they've lost a connection to their self. most people don't make advanced changes in their life because they lost connection to their self. They don't sense themselves anymore. They've prioritized everybody else and everything else for so long, they don't know who they are. This happens, you see this in research over and over. In a divorce, a person wanders out of a divorce and for like two or three years are like, who am I? That one significant change in

relationship makes you say, Who am I? and they realize they haven't heard their own thoughts and feelings and desires and dreams. I can't help you change unless you start hearing your own thoughts and feelings desires and dreams again. So what's the advanced stuff you need everyday moments to connect to your own thoughts feelings desires and dreams. What is that? Well, every single thing we're talking about can become a habit connection to self can become a habit that can be your time to pray to meditate to do your ice bath and think about life. You can do or whatever you have to think about like you have to find the time. If we're going to shift your life, there needs to be time in your life to connect with yourself. That might be your warm bath, that might be your daily walk, that might be your workout alone or with headphones. Like when do you and please let me be specific time for yourself is not the same as time listening to yourself. Do you all understand that something got lost with the pandemic and that you got to take time for yourself?

so people put on podcasts and get on ellipticals for 30 minutes and think they had time for themselves. no, no, no. you weren't even thinking. you were consuming. consuming is not the same as listening to yourself. who follows well brenon? you don't understand. I meditate. I'm like what form of meditation? cuz most most forms of meditation are trying to release a thought pattern. most forms of meditation are doing a mantra so that the monkey mind isn't going. so what type of time are you spending listening to yourself? This is why of course every psychologist in the world and every coach that I know who has any worth their salt not only do they Journal, they recommend Journal as one of their first inter interventions. when you journal and you actually think about your thought thoughts feelings desires dreams how you're dealing with life everything shifts. you can't know yourself and become a better version of yourself if you're currently not listening to yourself. let me say it again. you cannot know yourself and become a better

version of yourself if you're not currently listening to yourself. So what I asked my clients would go show me where you're listening to yourself. You might write this down. Show me where you're listening to yourself. Like where, when do the happen. For some people, it's like New Year's drunk. I'm not judging. I'm just saying it's a very common thing. Some people, they take a walk on their birthday, and they think about it for five minutes, but they really think about the future versus themselves. What is your real true authentic loving self saying to you about what you really think and need and feel? 'Cause here's the thing. It's hard to get change in your life if you're so out of touch with with yourself that one hit. It's hard to get change in your life if you're so out of touch with yourself. But we are in a modern era where every second we have that we're not in touch with ourselves, we're just feeding ourselves. We're in that swipe mode. And when you're

In swipe mode, you're not thinking, you're reacting, but you're not thinking, and real human behavior change takes thinking. More time alone. I just saw a great session with humor in where he was describing to a friend how he, he spent 13 minutes talking about all the wealthy and extraordinary people he met, and he was like, I'm so shocked how much time they take to just think. And he's just like, he's blown away by it, and he realized he's like, I don't think I've just sat and thought for like three years to just sit and actually think about yourself and your life and how things are going without consuming, no, no consumption, just thinking in quiet. There's a reason Einstein was Einstein. He sat in silence, thinking about hard things, and changed the entire understanding of the universe. Does that compete with you? He sat and just thought about complex things and changed the entire understanding of the universe, and you want to become more wealthy, but you literally won't even sit.

and think it's the weirdest thing I've ever seen. We're in this culture of such rampant addiction to consumption that we don't have any time to think. So as I shared earlier, the great changes of Life are strategic, they're purposeful, but most people aren't enacting a strategy, they're just reacting today. And so I want you to take time to think. Like when you hang out with the best CEOs and entrepreneurs, they're thinking. I mean, it's crazy. I've been with Elon Musk, he's just thinking all the time. And he's thinking very complex things. And anyone can judge him for lots of different reasons that they might believe. But one thing that's amazing is this guy has thought up some of the most incredible inventions of our existence as a human species. It's amazing. But you have to SP like people understand how much time that is. So okay, give me something tactical, Brenon. Show me it in your day, in your schedule, on your calendar. Where's that block of thinking?

time to connect with yourself to connect with yourself. If you got anything like you might not like anything I said today or anything Ed did, but if you will make sure that you have time every day to think and connect with yourself. What will do is it will put you back in touch with yourself, and when you're back in touch with yourself, you start to honor yourself. When you honor yourself, now you make bold moves. When you honor yourself, now you make authentic, courageous action. When you honor yourself, now you know how to love like a man or love like a woman or love like a partner. When you honor yourself, you come from a different place of strength. For everybody, your servant goes up, your wealth goes up, and everyone's like, what's going on? You're honoring yourself by listening to yourself. Somebody, we're so fragmented, you're playing so many different roles, right? It's like your head is like this all day. Who's ever felt like this? Oh God, that's G to be like a meme.

somewhere damn that video my team's already like we can never get a thumbnail of Brendon have you ever tried to pause a video of me and get a thumbnail they're all it's like impossible but who knows what I'm talking who's felt like this in the last three years okay we got to get you centered turn to the person right shake them and say get centered oh my God okay if we're going to change we also need connection Beyond yourself so what's your H what's your Habit to connect Beyond yourself now this can be connection with others this can be connection with your creator this can be connection with nature but we got to get you out of you now every day we got to get you into you and every day we got to get you out of you right and so this connection Beyond self for Ed as you all know he's down on his knees praying for me being a Montana kid it's outside if I'm in nature I'm with God I

just I'm an outside kind of guy. It's just something different for me. That's where that connection happens. That's a big important part for me. My conversations with God are outside. I got to walk and be in nature. I'm a guy from The Rivers. Got to happen. So getting connection Beyond yourself. Where does that happen? Because see what are these two things going to give you? Well, we know from research called high performance habits that the first habit, hey, that the first habit is to seek Clarity. How do you get clarity? You got to connect and listen to yourself again. And you got to connect Beyond you. If we could get Advanced change in your life, do you know what every single performance psychologist, every single mindset coach, and every therapist would agree in the world? Clarity. If we can increase your Clarity for who you want to become and how you want to live and how you're going to live into that, we shift your life forever. Clarity is your answer, answer the issue that I'm trying to

demonstrate here is you need to know where you're going to get that Clarity from. Where's Clarity coming from? Oh, Clarity is coming from my character idealization. Who do I want to become? Then it's time to connect with self and time to connect Beyond self that helps develop the role Clarity of who we want to be. This stuff is so important. Now we get to some of the basics and simple fundamentals. Okay, we want to change somebody our prits earlier we're just going have to challenge them stubborn or not. We got to introduce challenge into your life. Second, we got to pull in something called consequence review. Do you know why a lot of people never change? They never think think about the consequences of their inaction and their action. See it turns out higher performers are very Adept to thinking about consequences. They're not paranoid. They're not paranoid though Jim Collins would argue otherwise in his one of his later books he wrote good to great and he would argue that no it's

very important that some of the greatest leaders in the world. They're slightly paranoid. And what he was trying to elaborate was they're kind of seeing out, and they know they got to hedge against these bets. They got to. They got to make sure they don't lose. They got to see that what we're doing now is adding up into a direction. And if we don't shift now, that Direction's going to crash. Some people never change their behavior because they're so in the moment. They're so out of touch with themselves that they can't even see the consequence of who BEC coming who's ever had a child like this. You kind of had to say, Oh my God, if you don't change your behavior, you're going to go to jail. A lot of people told me that when I was growing up. I remember one time. I don't know what happened to us goofy kids, but somebody taught us. I don't know somebody in my high school taught us that you could go into a parking lot at night and

you could get one of those shopping carts, and you could put it in front of the car, and then put your friend in the shopping cart and go fast. Yeah, this became a thing. I have no idea why. And then you could also climb on top of all the buildings. It was like a goal to climb on every top big building in our high school town. I have no idea why we crawled on all those buildings, but it became a thing we were for fun maybe. I don't know. I never I didn't ever think I was Spiderman, but it was like somebody, a security guard, pulled me over, and I unrolled my window. I said, Yes, sir. He says, Didn't say anything. You know you're going to get yourself killed or kill somebody, right? And just the way he looked at me, that's all he had to say. I never thought that. I was just having fun. You know you're going to kill yourself and get somebody killed, right? And he said it so sternly and so seriously, it hit me. I was like, What am I?

doing this for cuz sometimes you're just not thinking about that concept quence, but when you feel the consequence, you shift. If you're a bad parent and you can see that consequence 10 years out and 20 years out, you're like, Oh, I don't want to be like that. You shift when you see, and this is the most important one. I want to share this with you and make sure you wrote it down: the consequence of your inaction. You shift. Most people think their inaction doesn't have a consequence, but you heard Ed mlet give a different speech today, didn't he? There's consequence to inaction, there's consequence because life is so short and it's so precious, and you have to realize that things you don't do are also adding to a type of life, the things that you don't do. It's almost like there's a, you know, a Quantum parallelism happening, okay, again fancy words, but it's like there's two things happening, there's like, okay, who you are.

becoming, but also who you could have become if you stay acting the exact same way. You're going to become something, but there's always a parallel track of if you had taken more action or the person who would have been of more courageous action. What would they have shifted into? Because there's a consequence to your inaction, but the thing that's so strange about life, almost always the consequence to inaction is blind. You can't see it. You can't see the person now who you could have become if you had acted differently for the last 10 years. So you don't have to actually deal with the consequence, right? You just, you think the consequence of who you are today is what you did the last 10 years, but it's also what you didn't do. And that person who you didn't do, that inaction is blind to you. You can't see it. It's kind of a mind-blowing reality of that inaction. You can say, Well, yeah, but

brenon, I didn't work out, so I have to deal with that today. I'm like, yeah, that's one form of it, but the other form is you just can't see. You don't know who you could have become. That's the problem with consequences. Is often you don't see them. You're so unaware of them. Or it seems like they live on a different Quantum field that you're not even ever going to access. And that's why you have to have times of review. When do you review the consequences of your life? Now when you say consequences, it doesn't sound fun. So in growth day, we call them life scores. And we just have you track your habits and your mindset every day, every week, and every month in growth day. So if you haven't used the life score section in your app, start using it. And you'll start to see some of those consequences with your scores. So you can score. You can make it fun. But at the end of the day, if you're not viewing it, it's just

gone. It's blind. You'll never experience it. And that's why I want to end with for this framework. One more thing across the bottom. And it's courageous action. Courage is that virtue that makes all other virtues possible. You've heard that quote before. Courage is the virtue that makes all other good virtues possible. If you want Advanced human behavior change, it's going to be come from knowing who you want to become, connecting to yourself more often so you can understand yourself, connecting Beyond yourself, challenging yourself, understanding the consequences of your behavior, and having way more courageous action way more. And here's the thing. I would just rather for most people. And here's kind of interesting. If I tell you take courageous action and you're like, yeah, I'll do that. I'll be wait. But before you do that, can we stop the inaction part? There's things that you want and you desire but you're inactive. You're not going for it. You're not assertive towards it. I want you to assert yourself way more consistently towards the things

that you want. That doesn't always require courage, sometimes it's just doing the thing, it's just showing up, just showing up. I want you to stop, stop the inaction, get in motion towards the things that you want on a consistent basis. And then, and then after we review the consequences of that, then I'm going to say, Okay, bold moves, courageous action, let's go, let's get in it, let's do the hard things now, let's go to that other level, courageous action. What would be a courageous move this week and start stacking those weeks, stack those weeks, one courageous action week after week after week, 52 courageous actions throughout the year, that's a whole lot more than most people and that gives you an unfair advantage, it gives you an unfair advantage. This should be a year of courage for this community, for each of you who know this personal development stuff, who are unblocking, who are ready to do the work, a year of courage. Everyone say, I'm here, I'm here, I'm ready, I'm ready, I go encourage, I go.

Encourage, that's what we want to build today. Today, that's what we want to build today. [Music]

How to Become Who You WANT to Be

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