hi everybody. I'm Mike, and this is Mike Miller Talks Live. Today's quote: To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. Well, being criticized is not fun. It's hard to become confident with who you are and what you do, and criticism always seems to interrupt the progress and set us back. So, we try to avoid it, and yet the quote makes it sound pretty impossible. I mean, if you're trying to do something, you're gonna get nailed. The only people who have not felt the pain of criticism are babies, but their day's coming because nobody is exempt. Our world has evolved to a place that is neither kind nor gentle in its dealings with people. We have developed platforms to give people an opportunity to express themselves and to accomplish things and have a voice, but at the same time, this has brought many of the critics into the public forums as well, and they're just united in their comments of pointing out flaws and errors and how we could do something better. We can state our views on politics, culture, cultural themes, religion, civil issues, race issues.

and we will be criticized for our views and preferences. We can state them on our music choice, food, clothing, decorations, holidays, places to live. We'll be criticized. We can try to accomplish something. You'll be criticized. You'll become a target whenever you do something, say something, or become something. It really feels like you must do nothing or say nothing or be nothing if you want to avoid criticism, but that is not a satisfying lifestyle. We are designed to do things, to speak our minds and say things, and to become something, to develop skills and do things, accomplish things in life. And so, taking this approach of not doing anything means we miss out on a lot, and you'll probably be criticized for not doing anything. So, I don't know about you, but I want to do things. I want to say things. I want to be something in my life. I heard this from Theodore Roosevelt on a blue blood episode sometime back. It's called the man in the arena, and it talks about criticism. It is not the critic who

counts not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who makes errors, who comes short again and again because there is no effort without error and shortcoming, but who does actually strive to do the deeds, who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly. Great, great thoughts. I, I feel it. I wanted it to say to you, if you're trying to say things and do things and become something, that is not something to shy away from. The critics want you to, they'll say things to hold you back, but I think you need to understand you are in the arena. That's where people want to be, people want to step

up and try you're there. That is a place of honor. Criticism is the practice of judging the merits and results of something, and it can be painful. It can be destructive. It can cause us to hold back. It stays with us longer than compliments do because it strikes at the core of our being, and it causes us to question our value, our significance, or our abilities. One critical statement can erase several well-deserved compliments, and if we're criticized when we're young, psychologists tell us that that explains why many adults are shy and timid and unwilling to try new things. We end up missing out on who we are and what we have to offer. Since we can't avoid criticism, I think it helps to learn to handle it better. I think these few thoughts might help. First, I think it's good to realize criticism is helpful. I know that seems crazy after all the negative things I've said about it, and it does do damage, but criticism is essential. This judgment, this evaluation of what we're doing, what we're saying

can be good for us. It can protect us from wearing weird clothes or socks with sandals or wearing crocs with a suit. I think some people need that kind of protection. I am grateful for my family. I'm sure I would have worn some weird things, but on a maybe more important, it can help us improve at something we're trying to do. I think we are now in a place in our culture where we tend to want only praise and encouragement, which is understandable. However, that only will lead us to mediocrity and even ruin. Use criticism to improve yourself. Don't shine it on. Number two, you need to ask, answer this question: do you want to get better? You need to honestly say yes or no to that. If you don't want to get better, then don't worry about the criticism. It'll stop coming because you won't be doing much. But if you really want to improve, you want to reach as much of your potential as you can in some area, then you need to be ready to accept the feedback and the criticism.

I think that when we enter this planet, we're just a little package of potential, of gifts and skills and abilities and talents and passions, and life is about discovering and developing. And when we start something, we try something, it may be okay, it may say to us, Hey, I might want to do this some more, it's kind of fun, but it is in its raw form. We need to improve, we need to dig deep and get better, and feedback and criticism is essential in that process. I've seen kids who have tried out for some sport in school, and they weren't very good at it, but with a little instruction and a little bit of good coaching, you can see these kids improve, and they're actually getting it, how to play the game, the idea of the game, and they're improving to the point of really enjoying it. I've seen musicians have some amazing natural talent, but it's raw, it's rough, and if they will open up to some feedback from other musicians, they really excel. Everybody who's doing something fairly well around

you have received feedback and criticism along the way because they wanted to get better. Number three, you must get humble and toughen up. You have to work at it, and I think it's constant work at putting aside your ego and developing thicker skin. If your ego isn't in check, you will not be teachable. You have this attitude: you can't tell me anything. I've seen people like that, and they're just stuck. If you're too sensitive and your feelings are easily hurt, then you're always going to get defensive, always be wounded, and never move forward. Both of these responses will prevent you from hearing what you need to hear to improve, so humble yourself. And this is not to put yourself down, but just get a proper opinion of you. I'm not perfect, but I have some skills. I'm not bad at this; I just need to get better, and it'll help you become more teachable and develop a thicker skin. Toughen up so that everything that's said that's not super encouraging and praiseworthy may be a little edgy because it's

giving you some critical feedback won't wound you all the time. You have to toughen up so that you can take advantage of this criticism. Number four: learn the art of sifting. Not all criticism is equal. A lot of critics don't have anything helpful to say; they're just mean and critical. They don't know you; they don't know what you're trying to do. If you want the best criticism because you really want to get better at what you're trying to do, you've got to learn to sift through what the critics say, find what helps, and discard the rest. You have to do that, and it's you that has to do that. You don't have to listen to everything people say; you really don't. As a pastor, I knew what I was. Some of the things I wanted to do and be as a pastor, I wasn't really good at it. I wasn't a natural fit at that, and so I knew I would struggle with much of it, but I just knew this is how I want to do.

it and one of those ways just was to be able to present practical uh percent truth and even complex truth in real practical useful ways, so people could grab it and live it. That was the goal for me, and so I looked for people who were good at that, and I would try to learn from them, and I would listen to feedback about that so that I could improve. And I knew this would be hard because in the Christian world, typically this approach is highly criticized, but I was committed to it because I wanted people to be able to grab truth and live it. And so that helped me because then when I would hear feedback, I knew what I wanted, I knew what I was trying to do, and I knew how to sort, and this helped me know how to sort through the various criticisms that came my way. I just asked this simple little question: is this destructive or is it helpful? I would discard if it made me feel like totally given up. I didn't want to give up, so if something made me feel down

like that. I'd discard it if it attacked me personally. I would discard it if I wasn't able to do what they said. Unreasonable comments. Oh, you need to be taller. You need to be shorter. You need to have longer hair, or you need to have shorter hair. This is stupid. It's nothing to do with anything, and some of that's just not possible. So, you shine it on, and if someone that was criticizing, if they weren't what I called a player, I wouldn't listen to them. And to me, that meant they weren't in the arena doing what I wanted to do, so I could learn from them. I wouldn't listen, and I would keep and learn from criticisms that were helpful for what I was trying to do, that were positive, practical, and specific, and motivated me to keep trying to get better in this. I had a group of good friends, and I've talked about this often, and I would get a little help from good friends, and this is just a few, not very many, and I really believed something that King Solomon said long ago.

One of the better kings in Israel's time wounds from a friend can be trusted. Criticism can feel like a wound sometimes; it can hurt. And I had a few friends that I tried to be in communication with often, and we would talk about each other and what we're doing and how it's going. That group of friends, we cared about each other; we were committed to each other. So when we would offer specific criticisms, they were helpful. I recommend if you don't have people around you that support you and things you're trying to do, you try to find somebody to help you because sometimes the criticisms that come your way can be overwhelming, and you need help learning how to sift through. And you need the support of actually discarding what people say because you don't really have to listen to everybody. To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. I think there's a better way, and that's to learn how to make the best of the criticisms that come your way so you can do something, you can say something.

you can be something, and you'd be good at each of those. Hey, thanks for listening. I really appreciate it, at the time you give. And if this was helpful in some way, or you liked it, I hope you'll click that, uh, if you haven't subscribed. Hope you will. Seeing those numbers grow is kind of fun for me. And also, if you know somebody that maybe is under fire, being criticized a lot, maybe let them listen to it. Maybe it'll give them some hope and encourage them, and get them thinking about ways to deal with some of this criticism in a little bit better way. So until next week, hope you have a good week, and I hope you stay healthy.

To Avoid Criticism: Do Nothing, Say Nothing, Be Nothing

To Avoid Criticism: Do Nothing, Say Nothing, Be Nothing