Hello, everyone. It's nice to see you. Today, I brought some blind posts. One is about a civil servant expressing that it seems like South Korea is in decline. They mention that friends from the countryside who moved to Seoul or Gyeonggi Province are mostly unable to get married, even in their mid-30s. Those from the countryside have had a little more luck in getting married, but those who went to Seoul are often highly educated and have good jobs. Seeing this, it feels like the insane competition for housing prices and the comparative society make it really difficult to get married in South Korea. There's a saying about this. 

Additionally, I have another story that, while differing in opinion, shares a similar sentiment. I will introduce both of these posts and then we can start the discussion. The next post mentions that in my circle, all the wealthy and capable people have gotten married, and the same goes for my surroundings.

I don't understand why they say that. Statistics, which are indicators of everything, refer to the majority, not just the surroundings. I don't know how this person got into the Supreme Court, and I really struggle to understand why intelligent and knowledgeable people keep bringing up such examples. Not everyone is like that; please don't generalize. My surroundings are all like this. Why do knowledgeable adults make such counterarguments? Most people are ordinary, right? So, we should evaluate based on their standards. If a celebrity comes out talking about birth rates, how apartments are, and how people aren't getting married, while in my surroundings, everyone is good-looking and wealthy, then they all get married easily.

Isn't what I'm saying right now the same as what I've said before? People who are good-looking and wealthy are exceptions; I am the norm. In this world, a good-looking person is actually abnormal because they are in the minority. Most people do not fit that standard, so we should talk based on the perspective of ordinary people. However, if you listen to what people say, they mention that everyone got married before turning 35. Those who haven't married are often in jobs that are not good or don't have money, so they can't even think about marriage. It's a tough world to live alone in, and the idea of starting a family through marriage feels daunting. In our workplaces, all the judges in our court are married. Judges are among the elite in society, almost at the very top. And we are comparing ourselves to these people? Most prosecutors are also married. No matter how much the media claims that people aren't marrying, the reality is that wealthy and capable individuals mostly get married and have children.

No one is unaware of this. I'm sorry, but it seems like you're talking as if you know it all by yourself. Even if the media says that people aren't getting married, the reality is that most wealthy and capable individuals do get married. When the media says people aren't getting married, they are referring to the average person, stating that ordinary people are not getting married. However, this person is an extreme exception who is married and doing well. Honestly, the way you're speaking makes you sound a bit childish. Also, if you look at the comments, there are many people in rural areas who do get married. In fact, even in poorer countries, marriage rates are high. In our country, if you live in a rural area, the average salary is definitely lower than in Seoul, as labor costs are lower there. Nevertheless, people in rural areas are getting married more often, and it seems that some say they don't think about marriage because they lack money.

This is really interesting. A man thinks he can't get married because he doesn't have money. Originally, he wanted to, but when the other person keeps talking about money, it creates a huge trauma after experiencing it once or twice. There’s a feeling of shame; the shame of being rejected because he has no money. For men, everything is about their abilities and recognition. When they face rejection in that area, they don’t even want to attempt to challenge that anymore. On the other hand, women think that they can’t get married because the man has no money. Both sides are similar in this regard. It’s said that things are a bit better in the provinces. Now, let’s take a closer look at the details. The first problem I see is that women want to get married to make their lives easier. This is the issue. That’s why women are particularly good at calculating. So, they are thinking about getting married for their own convenience.

In order to manage financially, I need to be sure that the partner I choose can contribute at least enough for two people, since I will be doing my part as well. If we decide to have a child, then the contribution needs to be sufficient for three people. Therefore, the conditions are understandably strict. There needs to be a vision for the future, the present situation must be stable, and past savings should also be adequate. Everything from the past, present, and future needs to be perfect. The past refers to the money I have saved, which is what I currently possess. The present concerns my job and the salary that comes from it. What about the future? It involves educational background and how well my parents have prepared for their retirement. When I mention that my parents are prepared for retirement, I am not just talking about a minimal amount; I mean they should have a decent financial standing. This implies that there is an inheritance involved. Taking all of this into account, we are considering the future as well. Thus, the conditions are stringent.

결혼은 원래 한 집에서 혼자 사는 것보다, 두 사람이 함께 살면서 집세를 같이 내고, 공과금을 같이 내고, 음식을 같이 먹으면서 기본 생활비를 줄일 수 있게 됩니다. 무엇보다 더 이상 이성에게 잘 보이기 위해 좋은 옷을 입거나 좋은 차를 타고, 액세서리를 하거나 머리를 하는 등 많은 비용이 발생하지 않게 됩니다. 데이트도 해야 하고, 이런 것들이 결혼 후에는 많이 줄어들게 됩니다. 이 모든 비용을 사용하지 않게 되면서 돈은 결혼한 이후부터 모이기 시작한다는 말이 당연하게 여겨졌습니다. 지금은 그런 말이 없겠지만, 여기서도 글을 보면 자꾸 집값에 대한 이야기를 하고, 주변과 비교하면서 미친 집값 경쟁 사회에 대해 언급하고 있습니다. 집값은 의미가 없습니다. 월세로 충분히 가능합니다. 그리고 비교하는 것은 내가...

It's always about comparison. I compare myself and feel relative deprivation, but no one says anything. Yet, people blame society for this constant social comparison. They also blame the country for making it hard to get married. But getting married is simple; you just go to the district office and register. What's so difficult about that? It's made easy, yet they still blame the country. I think it's because they want to have a lavish life. They complain about the country while ultimately blaming their own greed and selfish desire to live comfortably. There are many foreign women who consider coming to our country as a lifelong dream. In many countries around the world, which are much harder to live in than ours, women get married and have three or four kids, and still manage to smile and be happy.

There are many generations living well and many families. The question is, what needs to happen for marriage to become easier and for society to be more accommodating? For instance, if the minimum wage increases and small businesses pay salaries above 50 million won, and if the price of a 30-pyeong apartment drops to 150 million won, would that make marriage easier and significantly raise the marriage rate? I don't think so. Of course, in a capitalist country, these conditions are absolutely impossible. Such a situation will not occur. If a 30-pyeong apartment is priced at 150 million won, it means the value of currency has increased, which would either lower salaries or increase apartment prices—one of the two. This is a nonsensical structure, but I was just giving an example. Anyway, I really don’t know what people are hoping for. For instance, in our country, the deposit is 10 million won.

If you have just ten million won, you can find a rental house. Even if we start out with nothing, we really tighten our belts and work hard. It can be found quickly, and soon there will be some financial breathing room. Once there's some leeway, we can start planning for kids, and it's perfectly fine to have children. This is the reality. However, even this reality is often belittled. People say it's hard, but it’s not hard at all; it’s completely possible. Our country is not such a difficult place to live. If we save a bit and don't feel pressured to buy things like a Genesis car or live in high-end brand-name apartments, we can live without any issues. We don’t need luxury bags or diamond rings. If both of us earn 250 each, that’s 500, so why can’t we manage? Even after paying rent and other expenses, we can still save money and live well. I believe in this great country.

I don't have a good educational background, but together we can earn about 700 to 800 a month just doing deliveries. Even with that, I don't understand how we can still be struggling financially. Interestingly, people say they can't get married because of financial difficulties, but once they do get married, they end up working hard anyway. Isn't it ironic? If it's really that hard financially, one should be working as hard as possible and even take on a second job. It just doesn't add up. They keep saying how tough it is economically, yet they don't actually work. It's truly ironic. Moving on, is it really that difficult to buy kimbap for a school picnic that happens once a year? I'm a teacher at the Seoul Metropolitan Office of Education. I sent a notice about the picnic next week, and now they're asking why lunch isn't being provided.

I call my homeroom teacher. No, I guess if they don’t give it to me, then that’s it. Do I really need to make a complaint call? I know it’s annoying, but it’s just a picnic that happens once a year. At school, we have lunch every day. Back when I was young, my mom also packed a lunch for me every day. She would wake up early in the morning, even before the rice was cooked in the electric rice cooker, and prepare sausages, soup, and put the soup in a thermos. She would also prepare eggs and various side dishes. I worried about my child taking poorly prepared side dishes to school and not sharing nicely with friends. I didn’t want them to feel hurt if they had less appealing food compared to others. So, my mom would wake up early to prepare everything.

You also worked, packing lunch and then heading to work. But it's a picnic that happens only once a year, and you can't even taste the kimbap that your mom made for you. I really sighed when I got that call. It's gotten to the point where teachers feel this frustrated. Even though it's just once a year, it makes me angry that they don't provide food. Just pack some kimbap! Kids should at least get to eat something homemade by their moms. At home, they always order delivery food, and the most they get is meal kits or burgers. Nowadays, they hardly cook at all. This is a serious issue in our country. It's not just people who can't get married due to conditions; even those who are married face a lot of problems. Let's move on to the next story.

I'll take a look. My husband only had a meal and didn't do the dishes. This place is probably an accounting firm, right? When my wife returned home after going out, it was something to get upset about. No, my husband is now saying, Why didn't you do the dishes? He ate by himself and prepared everything because his wife wasn't home. I came back from work, and there was no one here. I had my meal, but the dishes weren't done. My wife raised her voice, saying, Honey, if you ate, at least do the dishes! I was just sitting in the corner, thinking, What are you doing? You can't even do the dishes. I ended up getting scolded. Since I didn't want to hear any more, I quietly got up and went to the sink, silently doing the dishes while listening to her nagging. If I started talking about how hard my day was, it would lead to a big fight, so I just did it. If it were me, I would be a husband.

I’m sorry for not being able to prepare delicious meals for you while you have to take care of your own food. I had to step out for a bit. It looks like you managed to eat well. Oh, and I see you did the dishes; good job, dear. I just handle the dishes in water. It's tough for me to do this, you know? As I mentioned in my previous video, husbands, it's not too late. Make sure you get treated well. Please refer to my video and ensure you receive proper treatment. Otherwise, we’ll just work separately, share the living expenses, and hire someone to do the housework for around 3 million won. I don’t understand why I should be criticized for not doing the dishes when I’m paying someone else to do it. If I lived alone and hired someone for 3 million won, they would do everything, like making coffee, boiling ramen, and taking care of the drinks.

If we find someone to help with meals and lodging, I could give them a few tens of thousands of won at night, and they would probably be happy and treat us well. But I don't understand why I'm going through all this trouble and getting criticized. I don't want to be criticized, and I don't want to do the dishes. If I were living alone, I would manage, but since I'm living with you, I thought you would help, but it seems you won't. If that's the case, let's each contribute 300 won from our earnings for a total of 600 won. We can cover basic household expenses with that, and then look for someone to help with meals and lodging. If you go out to work, you should be able to earn at least 500 won a month, right? I feel like I'm barely making ends meet with my small salary, but if you work, you should at least earn around 500 won. From that, you can cover 300 won for living expenses and use the rest as pocket money. That would be much better.

There’s nothing to say, right? When I say this, what women find most difficult is making money. That’s why they marry, because their husbands provide for them. The things that I struggle with are being resolved by my partner. If we think back to the past, I might not be able to hunt animals, but I can gather fruits. However, we need to eat meat to survive. Men go out and hunt animals, risking their lives. In return, I get married, raise children, give birth, and manage the household. It’s the same now. For men, going out is like hunting; it’s a battlefield, a jungle. I’m doing that outside, but I don’t even get that much recognition. If it’s going to be like this, I might as well end the marriage. As I mentioned earlier, let’s find someone. I’m taking care of the household.

I don't want to do this. Let's be honest; you didn't marry me because you want to make money. I earn a decent amount, and while I want to live with you, I also don't want to do household chores. But I don't make you earn money, so why do you make me do housework? I don't even want to lift a finger to get a glass of water. If you're unhappy about that, then you should go out and earn money too. We can split everything. It doesn't matter if we can't save money; I wouldn't care if I lived alone. So even if you say to do it that way, go ahead. Why are you living like this, feeling so lacking? It's so frustrating. Lastly, let me say again, husbands deserve to be treated well. You absolutely deserve it. You really do.

What I'm doing is often dismissed as trivial from the outside, and I find myself gaslit into thinking that way as well. But in reality, I'm doing something truly significant. I fully deserve to be treated with respect and recognition. Don't let anyone belittle you. If you're angry, just go ahead and flip the table, as long as you don't hurt yourself. Sometimes, you need to create a mess to find a solution. With that said, I will conclude the video here. Thank you for listening.

1년에 한번가는 애기 소풍날 김밥 싸주는게 그렇게 힘든일이야??

안녕하세요 다썰남입니다.
결혼 및 연애관련 주제를 주로 말씀드리고 있습니다.
감사합니다
