the biggest problem in this world is other people not yourself. It's other people in your head, they are puppet mastering you pretty much on your life. We live by the narrative of other people. When I first called a recruiter to be a Navy SEAL and I was 297 pounds, the first recruiter looked at me and said, you're not going to be able to make this man. So what he was doing was he's projecting his energy on me. He knew he couldn't be, so God help this black guy because I was only the 36th African-American to make it through in over 70 years. How does a black fat guy go make it through in my ass? You wouldn't even want to try. So he's projecting it. So a lot of us who are negative people, all we do is project how we feel in other people. A lot of times I'll be in a tourism mile run or something like that, and I'm all jacked up. Body's broken. Minds broken. Spirits broken. I start to say, what if I can pull this?

off when I first walked into the Navy SEAL recruiter's office, he looked at me and said, It's only been 35 African Americans in 70 years make it through. You know, I said to myself, What if I can be the 36th? What if I can pull off a miracle? What if I can become someone that no one thinks I can be? And just that, just me talking about that, I have your hair going up in my arms because it makes me just like, What if I had to invent a guy that didn't exist? Had to invent a guy that can take any pain, any suffering, any kind of judgment, be called or be called whatever the in the world, and be able to stay in the room and say, 'Go yourself.' How they built, how to build this callous mine, and I built it through suffering, so we have a messed up Foundation. I started lying about everything. I wanted people to like. I wanted to be accepted in some Society.

of life. I was like, Man, this isn't the right way. I messed up here, I messed up here, I messed up everywhere. And so I realized the worst thing that happened to me is I lost myself. I never had myself, I never found myself, had no self-esteem. So I knew through working out and through learning God, it took a lot for me to learn. Also, I started finding self-esteem. Once I found that, that's when doors started opening up. I stopped caring about people, what they thought, being judged. Wow, if I say this, if I start right now, you'll make fun of me. I stopped caring about that. And that's when my life started really changing for me, slowly but surely. I don't think enough about people that have wronged me or situations that have wronged me. Because once you've come to a place where you are really happy with who you are in life, no one can hurt you anymore, even though they're messing with you. It doesn't bother you. What do you want?

in your life, we have so much influence coming at us that we are so lost. We don't know what we want to do because we don't spend enough time with ourselves. You have to learn to shut off a phone, shut off a computer, shut off a TV, and it's okay to sit in a room by yourself in a chair and just think about you. Where I want to be, where do I see myself tomorrow, the next year, the next year from that. It takes a lot of self-discipline to be able to do that nowadays because you want to be so attached to everything, you want to be so caught up with the world. The world's moving so fast that you're trying to keep up to the point where you lose yourself in the world. So you have to take that time to go to that dark place in your mind and discover who you are as you're trying to fix yourself and dig yourself out of this deep hole that life, society, and you helped. You helped also those people who you saw down there in that hole who were

there with you who your friends and people who you counted on because you meet the people in the same situation that you're in in life. Those people become your friends and second you try to get out of that situation become better. Those people are in that in that grave and that Dungeness yanking at your heels man say get the back oh no get no come on back here yeah you can make me feel like right you getting out of this hole do you think you are so I get it all the time now people would constantly remind me of who I used to be back in the day and they always come out of the Woodworks man. My circle's very small I make sure I didn't hand pick these people because I'm like so so you don't want people in your corner they're like oh let me patching it back for whatever the you do. I don't want people packing in the back because I woke up in

the morning no so you don't want that. You want people who are honest with you, who are going to tell you what the [ __ ] is honest, honest, and truthful people. So, someone who's honest and truthful, who has lived and is accountable for their own personal life, that's what you want in your course to. Hey man, you know what, you're pretty dumb for doing this dude, like this is not smart, or you're being a, you know, you're being a turd today, you're not getting after it. That's who you want in your corner. So, you don't want a lot of people handpick people to be in their corner who kiss their ass. You don't want that. First big problem is that you have put a lot of people above you. Put no one above you, no one. I put God above me. Besides that, there's no one better than me. If you're playing Roger Federer before you get on the court with Roger, he's the best of all time, but you're also a professional tennis player.

man you're forgetting your own [__] resume. So once you get on the court, let's say, It's a grand slam, it's five sets, hopefully if you can go the distance with this guy. But before you even bounce the ball to serve it, you're down two sets because while you look across and you're playing Elijah Federer, but guess what, you hit a good shot on Roger Federer in the third set and you realize, I can play with this mother. But it's too late, you gave up two sets before you even got to court. You gotta stop giving up two sets before the game begins. And we do that already, we give two sets before the game to get. So I'll learn that real quick. I saw these Navy Seals before I became one. My God, they're better than me. Yeah, I gave up a hundred sets and I had to work up to realize these are human beings with the same [__] I have. Yeah, there's some people run faster, swim better, but

mentality is mentality. There's no I. You're not gonna work me, so I'm gonna catch up somewhere. My next-door neighbor two months ago, she just killed herself. Tons of veterans I know, they killed themselves. I got emailed two weeks ago from a family member that an 11-year-old boy killed himself from people at school bullying them. One thing about life is that people in life, they have the ultimate Puppet Masters. They exploit your weakness and they love to walk you around life and own space in your head. One of the biggest ways to cut those strings and walk on your own two feet to your own destination in life is to build self-respect, self-esteem, self-discipline, all those things. Stay hard is not just about going to the gym. Stay hard is about going that extra step and you can. That's to build self-esteem and self-respect. Stay hard. When I was a young kid, I consider myself very weak, very weak. And as I started developing this indestructible mental toolbox, because what I realized was the things I was like most afraid of, I

cowered from. I had to start facing these things and becoming an expert at the things I feared the most. Yeah, I was afraid of my own mind. My mind would get off on these crazy places of woe is me. My internal conversation wasn't great, yeah. So, I had to start mastering it. Once you started mastering it, in the horrible place I was at, I was literally, I consider myself the worst person ever alive. That was my conversation. But once I started mastering my own life, I started realizing, my God, man, this was in me. Yeah, I was a 300-pound fat guy. Now I'm 181 pounds, 90 pounds there was. I'm gonna go through all these hell weeks. So, I started realizing the capabilities of the human soul and the human mind. Anytime you move from being normal to trying to be exceptional, people aren't gonna like that. Those normal people, it makes them feel like, yes, they're gonna judge you. And nowadays, it's very easy to be a coward. Why? We've got Instagramers. Most folks don't tell you to your face.

they go online, they post about like cowards. Don't let cameras get in your head. And last thing, make sure you do you stay hard. So when I saw the military uniform when I was growing up, I thought to myself, I can get that uniform on. I would find honor in wearing a uniform. I want to be in Special Ops, but I realized to be a special ops, you gotta know how to swim. So I got a how-to book on swimming. The first page is easy: float. So when's the pool, try to float. I think right down to the bottom. I realized I was negative, boring as hell. The more I failed, the more my father's words recruitment to my mind about how I'm not good enough, all this other [ __ ] he said to dehumanize me. As time went on, I started realizing the more I did it, quit, the more self-respect I gained it and the power was all mine. Your life is important to do one thing, many people will try to dehumanize you. It's up to you.

to find self-respect identity in yourself, you don't need a uniform to have honor. You need to have pride in yourself, dignity, stay hard. I used all that 300-pound man, that fat guy, that dumb guy. And people say, Why do you say dumb? You have to be real with yourself. If you're not smart, you're [__] dumb. But you can become smart. You can become smart. It's not a permanent tag. You're dumb forever, you're fat forever. No, be wrong. Don't find the cushy word. So what I did with all this stuff is I realized, okay, here it is. This is what you are, David. But now, check this out. I sat back and I was like, my God, I'm able to visualize years beyond where I'm at right now. How are you going to feel if you can pull this off? When I got the idea to become a Navy SEAL at 300 pounds, hate the water, can't run down the [__] block, horrible. And I put everything on that. My

whole life is I'm gonna be a Navy SEAL compiler high water who does that. You got to commit to it, you gotta put everything on yourself, you gotta sit back and be able to imagine where you want to be like that's the power. If I can pull this off, what kind of story have I just created something you mentioned is that as you get more successful, you have less friends right because they're not your friends, they always want something from you and I was just wondering if you can expand around it. So what happens is well for me at least the uh the the more successful I became um I call them cockroaches um my bottom figures. People who are like you know what this guy worked his ass off, he did it, he worked his ass off but I didn't so let me see if I can just attach myself to him or her whoever worked your ass I've ever spent those hours those years trying to become whoever they are and then you have these people who are like you know what oh I'm your friend

so where can I fit into all of this. You know, where can I get on your team? There's a lot of those people once you become very successful, and they come out of the Woodworks, and they have these great ideas, these great plans, but they didn't put any work into it. But you put the work into it, you're the commodity. So that's kind of where that comes from, you know, just from firsthand experience. And also, the more successful you become, the less time you have, because to become very successful, it takes everything, especially if you want to stay at the top. Stay at the top, you have to continue to grind. You can't be like, oh, I made it, I'm here, I'm done. 24 hours in a day, and most of those hours are spent grinding in your business, grinding at whatever you do, and your family. There's not much room for anything else. It is about getting the numbers out of your life, and your ego will destroy you. I had one, a lot of us have one, all a lot of us alpha males.

have an ego. We're driven by ego, a lot of us. But what happens is we want people to like us, and that is the biggest downfall in business. To be a leader, not everybody's gonna like you. To get from point A to point B very successfully, you're going to piss people off. And the one big thing I found out in life is when you're grinding hard, if you're hearing all these different voices from all these different people because you want to make everybody happy, you're going to impose your business. You're going to employees yourself. For instance, there's all these things that are on TV, and we have all these news people judging people, hook up in life. Yeah, they made big mistakes, but that person who is judging you on TV, I guarantee you that that news person, they say, I'm glad that my [ __ ] didn't come out. I know that about people. So if you want to sit back and judge how jacked up I was and how messed up my life was, Merry Christmas, go for it. Have

a good time, but I'm smiling at you right now, knowing you have a secret that you're not willing to share. It gives you a lot of power when you're able to go on a podcast this big and say, Hey, tell me, I'll tell you anything you want to know. I no longer care. There's a lot of power in that, to be able to put your life on a billboard for the whole world to see and say, Judge it, man, judge it. Like just me talking about it makes me feel good, and that's another thing about it. When you are willing to talk about how jacked up you are, the strength, that big rock that you carry, it just starts to come off you. It just starts to come off. That's why I do it so often. Like, Hey, man, I'll tell you anything you want to know. I'm tired of being afraid. I'm tired of not telling you [ __ ]. I'm tired of lying about how good I'm not. Life is always giving you a test.

trying to give you a way out. Try and give you an excuse not to show up. You got to have the mentality to show up every day of your life, no matter what life throws at you. It's our responsibility to the Coliseum of life, prepare for battle. I don't care what you're going through, what life's throwing at you. It's your responsibility to find some new hundred percent. Stay hard. You have to first accept it before you can fix it. A lot of people walk around, Oh man, I'm good, I'm good. No, you're not. If you have to accept what you're not, you have to. And people don't want to do that. That's the only way you can fix it. You have to accept it first before you can go on the journey. A lot of folks never even start the journey, man. Never start the journey because they live in this fake life, that who they want to be, they act like they are, but they're not because they haven't fixed all this stuff yet. You gotta fix this first before you can start.

our journey in life. So that's why I haven't make this list. You fix these problems now. Your journey can begin because you no longer care about how people are judging you. When you care more about how someone's judging you, you're gonna stay right there. There's no four momentum people. One thing you have to learn early in life. I didn't learn this till later on. I don't give a [ __ ] you can't care what anybody thinks about you. If I care but people thought about me, you think I'd be yelling out here doing a hustling five-pound Rock talking. This is who I am. Find out who you are and own that [ __ ] and tell people to go [ __ ] themselves. Do you think you could go the other way and maybe become a bit cold if you, your fiance, your kids, you know, they're not the people around. Do you not care what they think? It's the best thing about it. You have to have an understanding of what not caring means.

if your fiance and your kids don't believe in you, you can't care what they think. That means you chose the wrong support staff. So that's why a lot of people don't understand one another. Your support staff has to be like, if I want to go out and do whatever it is, my support staff is, you know, my fiance, and she's like, you know what, you know, I don't think that you should be doing that. I have to take it, you know, why, so I can be open-minded. So, so, so why are you saying this? But she's saying it because of her, you know, that's not, that's not the right thing, because I need backing to do what I'm gonna do, open-mindedness. I need support, so you gotta be very clear thinking about all that stuff. Most people who are failing are trying their ass off. Most people are feeling of being criticized by people who haven't attempted what you're even trying to fail at. So what I'm failing at. So after I pick I did 2500 pull-ups my first time.

going for the record yep you mean people were criticizing me eating chips on the couch and do a pull-up look at your audience who's criticizing you first of all they're not even in your [__] world you don't even talk to me block him out that's the first thing the second thing is through failure you get all the answers you get all the lessons all of them yes they're all there yes I call it failure I I don't because I don't look at like my God I failed no I look at okay like trying to invent the [__] light bulb what's failure I'm trying to invent a [__] light bulb I'm trying to break 4020 pull-ups that's failure anything you do along that way is amazing that's how you look at failure you got to look at it very differently so for me I'm a scrap piece of paper and I'm going back through this stuff okay check I didn't make the goal

okay boom boom boom. The next time, I did 3200 pull-ups. Okay, I'm still 800 shy of the record, 800 side of the record. Now, somewhere from 25 to 3200, and I get to 4020. Boy, that's a long way away, but everybody's breaking down, breaking down left and right. But I got that white board out again, and I started writing down, Okay, what did I do wrong this time? What did I do wrong this time? You cannot look at it as failure, even though you didn't get what you wanted. All you're doing is examining ways to become successful at this particular thing you're trying to master. Something. It's not failure. You're trying to become the master of a particular thing. It's not failing. Whenever you try to master something, there's a process because that person, let's say your son, for instance, a tennis player. If your son has the right attitude and he keeps on coming back with the right attitude, no one wants to play that. No one wants to fight a person that just keeps coming.

after you every time you knock them down, they don't look at it as being knocked down. They have a whole different way of looking at that. That's a scary person. You don't want to fight that person. So that's how I looked at my pull-up records. And I felt everything at least three to four times. My whole life, I've never passed anything once. Ever in my life have I gone through and been the first time at anything ever. But that's what gave me that book. I mean, saying that's what gave me a story. How do you pick the next challenge? The next challenge is usually the toughest thing out there. The thing I don't want to do the most. Yeah. So my challenges come off of what am I afraid of? Yeah. What am I kind of cowering from? What am I looking at saying, yeah, because we all know what it is. It's in the back of your mind. It kind of floats back there. It's like, you know, for some of us, it's as simple as, I don't

want to get up and run today. That's what's next. So for me, it's always, What am I not wanting to do? And that's how I continue to grow. Like, I had to stop caring what people thought, but I realized that everybody, that's the one thing I realized. I walked around, I put these people on a pedestal. Everybody was better than me, so I can't tell you anything about me because you're going to judge me, and I'm gonna feel even worse than what I am. What I realized once I calmed my mind down, I sat back and looked at how jacked up this world is. Once you realize that you are not alone, everybody that's talking to you about how jacked up you are, only thing they've done better than you is they've hidden their world better than you have, that's all they've done. Let's say you're an alcoholic, you hang around people who drink, and I say you want to stop drinking, those people want to bring you back in.

like I used to be this guy. This guy who was, who you know, who wasn't worth anything. Now those people who are still there 16, 17, 18, 30 years ago, they're trying to get you back there. So the hardest part, you gotta see who you're hanging out with, man. You gotta hang out with the people who you want to be like the most. Yeah, people will definitely drag you, they'll drag you down. And especially if you're around someone who makes a lot of excuses and they're always failing. Oh, this is just like, they're the opposite of inspiration, they're like a vacuum, I'm just sucking it out of it. Sometimes life can really hijack your mind. When that happens to you, you're all [ __ ] up. Your goals, your ambitions, everything's out the window. In life, we all go through different things. Sometimes your girlfriend or boyfriend breaks up with you, guess what, get over it. They no longer want you. Maybe you fail a test in school, you worked your ass off, guess

what you failed the contest get over it move past it learn to not let life hijack your brain at work. You've been working your ass off that new promotion you don't get it someone else does maybe they kiss better ass than you do guess what get over it life will hijack your mind if you let it. Don't allow all these things to make you a lesser person you must own your mind don't let life own yours get after stay work when you get to the point where you really don't care you're dangerous you become very very dangerous. I'm not saying don't care like I don't care if I do that no when you don't care about other people and how they view you about how you walk how you talk how you dress where you want to go with your life. You know growing up I didn't want to tell anybody I want to be in the military because why some of my black friends I was afraid of what they think I was afraid of what other people thought about me so now.

I'm not going to military. I know you want to join the military. Yeah, I tell you guys afraid what you thought once again, man. You're allowing other people to shackle your mind, and so it's the worst thing in the world. I used to always want people to accept me and like me, so I became who they were. [Music] If you like something and I didn't like it, I liked it because you liked it. Become unapologetic, who the more in your life you get after it in your heart, mother get after it. You gotta make yourself better than what you think you are, and what that requires is people not can understand you, not know you, not get you at all. Look at you like you're off looking, should I keep a problem. Don't worry about that. Beyond apologetic, get after it, stay hard, do the [__] you are with success in life comes more haters, don't make him hurt your feelings, use it for fuel, use them for energy in times of need, put them on the mental.

Rolodex in your mind, and when you don't want to do, roll through your brain. Pull up that mother that you need. That person who said you couldn't do something weren't fast enough good enough smart enough where the [ __ ] it may be. Use them for energy instead of children with kindness. Torch with success in life. We have to continue pushing past the odds. Use everything this word has to give you for fuel. Stay hard. [Music]

The Simple Way to STOP Caring About What Others Think of You | David Goggins

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The Simple Way to STOP Caring About What Others Think of You | David Goggins

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