I always put it way too up. I'm watching Vinland Saga right now, and um, I, you know, I say that so many things happen for a reason in life. There are these small moments; they're small, and they look like a miracle, and if you

don't pay attention, you won't notice. You know, for example, like a certain reflection, um, like something that just—it's like an accident, but like if you look at it and you view it a little bit abstractly, you're like, 'Oh, what does this mean? Oh, oh,

[...] what could it mean? Oh my God, no [...] way!' And it's like God or the universe just slightly dropping hints, you know, for you, 'cause that's all they can do, maybe. I don't know. Um, there are a few people that

I hate. It wasn't that I always hated myself, you know? I can feel that I have a lot of hate in me. I want to get back at the world for making me feel so inadequate and for bullying me so much. I guess you could say it's not

really funny, actually, you know? I try to say like, 'Oh, it's not a big deal,' and [...] you know, I try to not make it a big deal because I'm just supposed to like look over it and admit that it was

my fault that I was in […], that I did take things to heart and stuff like that, and that we were all just kids, you know? And I know everybody has their own chip on their shoulder, and everybody has their own stuff that they have to carry.

I know, but it's just like, it feels so unfair, you know? It really does. Maybe I had to get buffed—I mean, no, uh, nerfed a bit because I was just... I would have been too [Laughter] powerful, you know? I was... I've always been

great at performing and things like that, you know? If I... if I had, you know... maybe I was just this delusional. Yeah, I'm a... I'm a hyper-competitive person. I actually won um, competitions—a lot of art competitions. No, uh, sorry, selling the

most... um, something... something like calendars and [ __ ]... like, I don't want to... it... it... it's not a big deal, you know? But I don't know why. Maybe I am very competitive because I don't know. But basically, my team won one of the things. It's like a kind of big, big box and it's really cool. It's coffee-related, so it's pretty cool.

Um, I had a thought in my kitchen, actually, you know? I just... I was supposed

to maybe go out and buy some food and cook something, but I was just too lazy for that. I just... I wanted... wanted to sort of force myself to relax and just chill out, and you know, I spent an hour and a half just on YouTube, so...

and then now I'm watching *Villain Saga* and eating ramen and some rum or whatever. When I, you know, I could have probably read a book. And well, now I should be in bed because it's 9:30, so you want to be in bed 30 minutes before

You're supposed to sleep, you know, but hey, I don't have to go to work tomorrow, and I've been working for 7 days in a row, still trying to create content and write and produce... so your man deserves a break, all

Right. Um, I've done one big, big move; something... I mean, like a real accomplishment is that I've sort of managed to turn down my, or control my fear of looking stupid. Yeah, I think I still haven't controlled very well the fear of

disappointing the people that *don't* think I'm stupid. Like, that's another level, you know? That's like, oh, it's like, 'I'm going to ruin it! Oops, sorry, I'm going to mess it all up now. You're going to think I'm not who'

I who you think I am.' Well, whatever. Either way, um, yeah, I've improved so much, you know? But I was... I was watching this... this episode of *Vinland Saga*, where the main character Thorfinn...

he um, he has a dream in which he's about to fall into basically some kind of hell or whatever. It's supposed to be Valhalla, or what he believes to be Valhalla, but it's just... it's like a metaphor for war; endless war and whatnot. And...

um, corpses come up because he used to kill a lot of people. And basically, I'm explaining the... I'm spoiling you... I anyways, he wakes up and he decides to never hurt anyone. Okay, I'm not spoiling anything. He

decides to never hurt anybody ever again, and I was just like, 'That's not true!' Some people deserve to get their face punched in, you know? And I just felt so much... it's actually getting me

really tense. Um, yeah, just this... this like... it's like just a... it just feels so unfair, you know, when you don't know how to defend yourself and people put you through stuff. And I believe what you should do is

or, you know, I wish I could go back sometimes, you know, because it just... it sucks. You know, everybody... you're just supposed to forget it, you know? It's like, 'Well, you know, how was your childhood?' You got to

and maybe I see things not as they really were because I was very lucky. You know, I still believe I'm very lucky, but you see, like, it's so unfair. It just feels so unfair because, whether I want it or not, it took... it made... it took so much away from

me, because it made things so much harder. Uh, I'm grateful for everything because I'm here now, but the effects still remain, you know? The effects are still there, and it's not fun because it kind of, you know, it's... it's... it's... you know, maybe I'm

very fortunate because I've come out of that and I've been able to sort of rise above it, and... and there are still things that I need to work on for sure. But, you know, it's like weird because I... I get... the only reason I have insights

and the wisdom in all of this is because I get to see it from both sides, you know, from both extremes. From someone who went from, yeah, I have to explain it every time, but yeah, just, you know, I don't know, it's like I had no other way of...

Either way, um, when you ever look, everybody says, you know, you know, or some people say, everybody's just figuring it out, just like you. And while that might be true, it doesn't help that, you know, on top of that, you're growing up is just so

unstable. You don't know what's supposed to be like, how things work, and what is acceptable, and like how to stand up for yourself. It's just [___] man. So yeah, again, be your hero, right? Be your own hero. So be who you needed to be in the past. So for

me, it's like, be more independent, more disciplined, more, um, I don't know, less naive, um, more mature, and this and that and blah blah blah. Um, and be who you want to be in the future, but you know, like that means to, you know, make your

8-year-old self proud and your 80-year-old self proud, you know. Um, so I won't give up on, you know, being a positive uh person, even if that makes me look naive, or to follow my dreams and to put myself out here on the internet

and and and my writings and my ideas, and until until it gets better and better. Um, you know, I've I have people now send me DMs from all over the world. Even had this this kid, if you're watching this, um, he wrote uh something in...

School. It was a... it was um... it was for an English exam, and he wrote about how I was his hero. And we're... you know, I don't... the um... the premise of the text was that, how, you know, it was like, you know, this is

Santiago, and he was depressed. He's turned it upside down, and he's... uh... I'm laughing because I don't know what else to do. Um, it was a beautiful text, and, and you know, every... there's a lot of love that just comes my way, you know.

And um... I don't know what to do with it. I don't know how to react. Uh... um... you know, I... I... I am very grateful, and I want to take it with sincerity, and you know, not... not um... play myself down too much, you know. I think

I think I'm... I'm... I'm doing something, you know, something good. And oops, sorry. Um, yeah, I... I just... I don't know. It's hard for me to... whoa, it's hard for me to take it like... like how, you know... what? Yeah, I noticed that it's just... it's so

easy for me to still feel hate towards some certain people. And you know, I'm... I'm grinding, you know. I'm really on my grind, you know. Um... I'm over here trying really hard to master myself, you know, to be my own hero. And I see

online, you know, or everywhere else, you know, people my age partying and living their best... their best life, you know. It's not everything as it seems, of course, you know. You know, going to university and studying, and... and yeah, you know, friends and this and that, and the parties and others, you know.

I don't know, but I don't think they have anything on me, really. I mean, they haven't put in as much work. It's not even about comparing; like, I just... of course, I feel a bit like, "Oh, man," you know...

guys, not because they're doing that now, you know? It just feels like if I put myself back a few years, let's say five years back... more than that, sorry, eight years back. Jesus Christ, wow, I'm so old. Okay. Um, I just feel like I'm such an outsider, and everybody's kind of, like, on me. And I think half of that was just my own... my spirit was broken, man. Because you can have...

you know, there are two truths that I lived... wait, no, I only lived one of these. Sorry. You're going to have the whole world tell you you're worthless and you're this and that and you're a sack of...

whatnot, and you still can walk your way and, like, say whatever, like, '[expletive]' you, because you can. You have a strong sense of self, and you're stable, and you're within, you know, and like you're... you're strong; your spirit's strong, and...

whatever. Uh, you're mentally strong, and you know how to stand up for yourself, and you can defend yourself, maybe even physically. And so, you know, just like you can say, like, "I don't give a [expletive]," you can come at me, like, all of you. You know, it's...

Like, man, you know, I want to get to that. I think there are certain aspects now that I feel like, you know, some people I talk to and whatnot, and they might think I'm, like, oh, this or that, you know, and I might embarrass myself and actually...

actually, I embarrassed myself today at work, which was, you know, I really, really embarrassed myself. I was... I don't know, it was very awkward and cringe, but I managed to just look past it with grace and just like, yeah, whatever. And uh, no one's ever going to

remember that. And if something embarrassing would have happened to me eight years ago, I would have still been thinking about it right now, and tomorrow, and the next week, and like a month after. And that would just be like another block on the...

weight that was on my chest, you know? It's like you're lying down and every little... every direction, you know, at first, you know, you don't give a damn because you don't even know that it's embarrassing, but then people start

you know, hammering down on you. And if you let yourself be, like, you know, they build these blocks. And first, you know, maybe you're like, washed in oil, so it just flops down right? It's like, yeah, I don't know what the hell is going

on, because nobody tells you, right? And maybe someone tells you, and then people start telling you all the time, hey, you know, they're this and this and that, and like that was embarrassing. Look at you, you weird weirdo, and stuff. And it's like...

You're like, yeah, maybe it was embarrassing, but I'm not a weirdo, right? And you—I know, hear me out—but eventually, you know, whether it's because you take something personally that you didn't need to (which I did a lot), and

because everybody around just picks you as the target, and then they, you know, this weight stacks up on your chest and you're just like, you don't know what to put on there or how to get rid of it. And then maybe, because you're in

control of, of course, as well, or you're in control of that, you kind of start putting blocks on top of that—you know, things people said that you didn't even have to take personally, or things that happen that no one cares about; you know, those like

mistakes or embarrassing moments. Dude, honestly, no one is going to be thinking about that in like 10 minutes, 20 minutes. Like, it goes by. Anyways, I get to say all of this in retrospect because truth number two: you

can have the whole world tell you you're so amazing and not believe in yourself, not believe them, not take them seriously, or even think that they're delusional. And you have people who love you, and you push them away because, no, I, I'm not; I'm believing the other guys,

everybody else who tells me I suck, because, you know, of course I suck; there must be something wrong with me, right? So you're delusional—all of you, all of you who subscribe to my channel, all of you who send me DMs, you're

Delusional? You don't know who I am. You don't like me? That's not true. Go away! You must be weird, worse than me, because I'm down here, and there has to be a...

…hierarchy or something. I need to be liked by these people because I'm beneath them. I don't know, it's just weird. See how weird it sounds? Imagine that's half your childhood and all your...

…teenage years. Then you're supposed to navigate life and have people tell you you're weak. Because, of course, I mean, I was… Regardless, I keep going. I'm not saying I'm the strongest...

…21-year-old ever; that's for sure. There are people who struggle way more than me, or do things greater than me. Yes, sure. It's not a race, though. Life's not a race, and it's not about comparing either.

You can compare yourself maybe to the people who bullied you, but whether you have it better than them or not doesn't really change anything. And...

…yeah, I guess I still carried some hate or rage against the world, as I was saying, because I thought back…

What do you mean you want to never hurt anybody again, Thorin? What do you mean, man? You've got to punch back! You can't just let people put blocks on your chest, let them walk all over you. It's also such a shame, like, you know...

When you unleash your anger on those who love you, you know, because you think there's something wrong with them or with you... so there must be something wrong with them or their opinion, right? And you're... or someone loves you and you're so terrified of

disappointing them, so that you become this people-pleaser and you do everything, you know... you never... you try... you don't complain, you don't speak up when you're afraid of speaking up because you don't

want them to get mad at you and be disappointed and then leave you. I just think it's... I just think it's comical because, you know, in my mind, people who surrounded me back then, you know, they might... it's like... like in the movies,

you know... you know, it's like a lot of years later, you know, you... it's like the class reunion and then they... they, you know, of course, the elephant in the room gets brought up. It's like, 'Hey, you know, you guys treated me like [ __ ]'

and this and that,' and then someone would be like, 'Yeah, you know, you're so self-centered. Like, oh, the world is always against you,' and like when it's not. And like it's like... but then something happened, right? When I was watching Vinland Saga, which was

Like, I didn't understand it at first. It's like the true definition of a warrior is a person who doesn't let that change them, right? They move forward regardless, which means it's like...

I'm going to forgive and let go, and move on with my life. I won't make excuses or let that stop me from living a good life, being useful, strong, and getting stronger.

I know that at some point I need to just let it all go. I've only been out of that situation for not that long. I think it started when I was in second or third grade.

So, thank God it was never physical. But, um, yeah, I mean, I've been hit. I remember being hit once in Germany, but I never knew how to punch back. I was...

I didn't punch back. I've been humiliated, and all these things, right? But yeah, I don't know, life is good. It's kind of cool talking about this, and I hope it helps in some form or another. I currently can't run, so I'm

just doing push-ups all the time and trying to go to the gym. Work has been really fun. I get to work with some really cool coffees, and if you follow me on Instagram, then you'll see some cool...

pictures there of what I'm doing, so make sure you follow me there. And um, if you want to talk to me or you want to join my community in which, like, dude, hundreds of people are in there, writing some pretty sick stuff; we all help each other grow

stronger and stuff. It's uh, it's called Hero Academy, so it's also where I share whatever it is that I learn and can teach, or whatever. It's really cool, as well as everybody else who's in there. It's just an ecosystem, like you know, everybody helps each other out, and yeah, it's pretty cool. It's really cool; I love my community. Now, while I'm at it, plugging...

I have my newsletter, Letters to Your Hero, so if you want me to send you a letter, then subscribe. Um, yeah, that's it; that's all I got. All right, um, I guess the end message for this video should be that, whether I want it or not,

and whether you want it or not, probably at some point, um, you're going to have to forgive, even though I believe you should still punch back, or, you know, uh, to those who do you wrong. I truly believe in that. You know, if I would have learned karate as a kid,

Jesus Christ, I would have avoided so much, so much stuff. Like, it would have... but I wouldn't be here, so I'm grateful again for my life. Just... it's such a shame; it brings so much pain, not just to me, but to those around me. And and it's not like it was...

All like the fault of others, you know? It's like also my own. Like, there could have been things that I could have done better, but you know, I was just a kid. Like, you know, the whole situation sucks ass, um, and that that angers

me. Some... some people just never showed any remorse, you know? It's like, you weakling, you know? I don't care what's going on in your life, putting it all on me. I'm just kidding. I understand that too, you

know, some kids bully because their life is just horrible. That's true, you know? I don't know what was going on in their life, hell, but you know, I do pity them a bit. I was always forgiving, you know? It was the... that was the worst part, the best

and the worst part. I knew they were taking advantage of me too. Like this one kid, I bought him pizza like seven times. I'll never forget it... that guy...

I was the first. He got to... he got to Ecuador. I invited him. I was the first one to be like, 'Welcome, dude!' And then he ended up bullying me, bro. And I knew he was taking advantage of me too. He was like, 'Buy me pizza and

we'll be friends,' and I said okay. Look, the more I share these stories and the more I explain, the less power they hold, the less... the less it matters, right? I'm not here to be like, oh, you know, look at all of this that happened to me, you

I know you guys, I mean, definitely thank you for sure. If you ever see me again, um, but you know, I'll probably won't do anything. It's okay.

We're just going to be like, "Hey, you okay?" Okay. I don't know, just maybe again, through me sharing my stuff, I can help. And I've gone—there's no returning. You know, I've put myself out here; there's no going back, so

it's cool. You know, I get to truly embrace myself. And yeah, at least—yeah, it's creating, or putting yourself out there is like a cataclysm for you, embracing parts of you that you're really afraid of integrating and whatnot. So, and I'm inspired a lot, too, you know, by everybody who follows and talks and shares.

And for those who are in the Hero Academy and who've reached out, because you guys are so much more capable than I have ever been, or that I ever was. So, um, yeah. You—and to those who don't feel like you're very capable, look, it's like—it's like I'm the Joker. Look at everything I did with a

barrel and a bunch of bullets—a few barrels of gasoline and a bunch of—I'm just kidding. I was doing a few voice impressions earlier today. The point is, you're a lot more capable than you think you are. You know, I always believed I was stupid.

Right, and now I think I... I have a small noise here. It's like a bit of genius, you know, my own genius; uh, the way I integrate all my positive and negative traits together and combine that into a beacon of hope

or inspiration, or just simply being myself, being my own hero, um, and aiming up. I had a phone call with my mom the other day, and I've come to the point in my life now where I can actually help her, you know, just through a phone call. It's

like I'm carrying my own weight and more; I'm pushing more weight, I'm taking on more responsibility, you know. You know how great of an accomplishment that is for me, man. I'm going to bed, and you should too. Enough internet for today; have a good

don't let them stop you

don't let them stop you