[Music] Why do cultures develop social norms? The clearest answer to me is that they're shortcuts. They provide you with a general guidebook of how to behave in society, at least for the place and time that you're in, and that can ideally help you live a better life. Social norms that are enforced by our communities or by broader groups also come with enforcement mechanisms that are often more effective than our own knowledge. The positive motivations that we feel when we engage in social norms—a sense of pride, accomplishment, being looked upon happily by other people—are powerful. And then the negative reinforcements—a sense of guilt when we transgress social norms—help keep us in line. But we're in a moment right now where society is changing rapidly and where many of us are not sure whether old social norms still apply. How do you evaluate whether a social norm is past its sell-by date, whether it's still useful in the modern era? The English writer GK Chesterton talks about what one should do if you encounter offense.

unattended in a field, some people might have the impulse to just tear it down. After all, what is it doing there, standing alone in this field? But he actually suggests that one should investigate the fence. It may not seem useful to you in this moment, but it was probably put there for a reason, and one should try and figure out what that reason was before discarding the fence entirely. I think that notion can be applied to social norms too, even ones that seem outdated. So here's one example: should men open doors for women? When you're trying to figure out whether a norm has any use still, it's helpful to look at what it was there for originally. Was it there to help someone, to protect, to orient society in a useful way? Is that use case still in some way valid now? If so, maybe that norm is still doing something good, even if it isn't evident immediately to you. With the dissolving of social norms, some people are looking for guidance. So who did people look to for guidance in

the past. They look to their parents, their families. They look to religious leaders and sometimes state leaders. Who do people look to for guidance now? Well, let's say the slate has grown. It kind of feels like there's a coach for anything, whether it's meditation or parenting or how to become the best CEO. There are lifestyle influencers, fitness influencers, there are beauty gurus and masculinity gurus. So, what's problematic about seeking the guidance of a self-described expert? The problem is in the self-described. They may say they're an expert, but are they really? What qualifications do they have, and why should you believe them? And then again, there's the question of what social norms are for and how they're built. Ideally, social norms are adapted to situations, times, and places, and the communities that they're embedded in. A social norm that may be fit for one community or one kind of person may not be applicable to everyone else. Similarly, the advice given by a fitness guru or a beauty influencer might sell well on the internet but might not

actually be tailored helpfully to you. Hey, big thinkers! The video you just watched was about finding guidance in the Modern Age. One way to find guidance is to utilize the sponsor of this video, Headway. Headway is a learning app that has bite-sized summaries of best-selling non-fiction books. Many of the authors we've interviewed on Big Think have book summaries available on Headway. Each summary on Headway is available as text or audio, and they only take about 15 minutes to complete. The app is gamified, so you can earn streaks for each day you use it, and its recommendations are personalized to your interests. I mainly listen to audiobooks, and I found Headway's audio summaries to be a great tool for deciding if I want to dive deeper into a book before purchasing it. And if I've already read the book, the text summaries are a great way for me to refresh my memory about the book's core ideas. I recommend trying it for yourself, and for the Big Think audience, Headway has a special offer.

Start your journey to personal growth with Headway and get a 7-Day free trial by clicking the link in the [Music] description. Want to dive deeper? Become a Big Think member and join our members-only community. Watch videos early and unlock full interviews.

Who decides what is socially “normal”? | Christine Emba

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