most young men today are totally lost. They're following behind in school, they're disillusioned with corporate success, and many lack long-term goals. Worst of all, young men are more isolated than ever. In recent years, we have seen a severe decline in friendships and relationships amongst young men. They don't have the long-term relationships that once refined them, nor the responsibilities that demand discipline and accountability. They're stuck in distractions, meaningless jobs, comfortable patterns, the pursuit of pleasure, and deep down most of them are miserable and frustrated. I mean, over 60 percent of men are reporting feeling lonely often or even most of the time. One in five young men report not having a single close friend, and depending on the study, upwards of 60 percent of young men are single. Think about how different that is from even 50 years ago when most 23-year-olds were married. And all of this loneliness and lack of relationships is working together to seriously stunt their growth. Young men are hurting, and also they're

failing to grow up, they are weaker, more lost, and more disconnected than any generation before them. Masculinity is dying, and this is a tragedy for all of humanity. Weak men tend to be more petty, passive, selfish, and harmful to themselves and others. Only strong, mature men are steady, community-centered, and life-giving, but these men are scarce these days. The traditional values and rights of passage that once ensured a boy's growth into manhood have all but vanished. Men struggle on without the relationships, training, camaraderie, elders, and sense of purpose that once fortified them. So what do we do about it? How do we revive masculinity? Many people have good ideas here, and others have bad. A recent Washington Post article ultimately concluded that the crisis of masculinity could be solved if men chose to be more vulnerable and expressive and feminine. Many other journalists share this idea, and although there may be a grain of truth in it, these arguments show a shallow understanding of man psychology. Obviously, making men more and more effeminate has not been working at all.

the past couple of decades, a whole book could be written about my thoughts on masculinity and what young men need. Oh, wait, I did write a book exactly on that topic. It's called The Psychology of Slaying Dragons. It takes men on a journey through their heart and into the Warrior's Way. It covers so much ground but ultimately aims at helping men break through stagnation and live their strongest lives. You can sign up (link in the description below) to get notified of the launch and to get my best essay sent to you for free. All right, back to the video. In writing that book, I realized many things about myself and integral masculinity. First and foremost, masculinity is a very nuanced thing. It's not just a macho disciplined protector and provider energy, nor is the soft empathetic therapist vibes that the mainstream rewards. Masculinity encompasses many qualities and virtues that are a mixture of both hard and soft. In other words, masculinity is first and foremost strong. The hard and the soft make up the two

sides of masculinity that are absolutely essential. I call them the straight spine and an open heart. The straight spine is referring to the traditionally masculine qualities like strength and courage, while the open heart is what softens the edges and teaches men wisdom. There's a balance between the soft and the hard, the heart and the spine, and mature masculinity. The West is currently over-emphasizing the open heart in a non-productive, very effeminate way, while simultaneously casting away the strong spine. And this is catastrophic because the strong spine is necessary for masculinity to exist at all. And we cast away the spine and the essence of manliness because we don't understand masculinity. People in power fear masculinity, so we collectively suppress it. We smother the qualities and virtues that once made for manly men. Even the word manliness has taken on a negative connotation when for almost all of history it wasn't ideal. I think a huge problem is we are dumbing down masculinity and making it weak because then it is easier to

achieve, and it makes people feel more safe and included. We stuff boys into classrooms, subdue their instincts to compete and be wild, and challenge one another, and communicate more realistic Heroes to them in general. We make boys soft today, and that is seen as a good thing. We tarnish the ideal of manhood in order to make it more inclusive, but in doing so, we diminish the heroic energy that precedes strong masculinity. That is just the truth. Developing a strong spine is hard, and this aspect of development will be neglected unless the community emphasizes it and aids it. We need to put heroism back on the pedestal instead of victimhood. This is a main thesis of my book: heroism precedes manhood. Unless being rugged and valiant and disciplined and excellent is the cultural ideal, boys will neglect this crucial aspect of development. They will grow up with weak spines. They will get stuck and stagnant, and this creates immature masculinity across the board. Immature masculinity appears in two main forms: it is either fragile, tight, and controlling, or it is impotent and

uncultivated, the impotent type coasts through life. It is unsure of itself. It is weak, wishy-washy, and lazy. The Fragile type is often harsh, reactive, anxious, and insecure. It feels like it needs to prove itself and control everything and use force. Honestly, many women, feminists fall into the category of fragile masculinity, always trying to prove themselves and control everything. And many immature men are some combination of fragile and impotent. The immature masculine is often too quick and harsh or too lazy and passive. He, or even she, is rarely steady. The immature masculine lives with constant anxiety because he does not yet trust himself. Let me repeat that, the immature masculine lives with constant anxiety because he does not yet trust himself. He cannot relax into spaciousness and confidence because he has not faced enormous challenges upright and grown through many trials. His iron has not been hardened and sharpened. He is no Warrior. Without growing through the world, mastering his passions, and coming to know himself, he can never be king of himself, only the

mature masculine is rooted in grounded presence. He is consistent, self-assured, convicted, and wise in his conduct because he has gone through the initiations of the spine and the Heart. His presence and force of character become gifts to the world. You can see more on the initiations in the last video up here. What I'm saying is the presence of a true man is a gift to everybody. This is why manhood was once thought of as the big impossible, a state of virtue and nobility that few men achieved but all men were measured by in the striving toward the ideal. All of society was elevated. It was the production of true men that best nurtured families, communities, and entire nations, and our ancestors knew this. Thank you shall not pass. Ancient cultures understood that producing masculinity is a community effort. It requires the support of other men, women, traditions, and heroes, or else it will fail. They knew of the importance of developing a strong spine in boys, or else those boys will grow up to be weak.

and impotent and untrustworthy. A strong spine is required to go through every door and passage into manhood. Most of all, our ancestors understood something supremely important: masculinity grows through challenge, and this is something we ought to remember. Prosperity, comfort, ease, and distractions diminish masculinity. In classical times, safety and comfort, and even the indoors, were seen as dangerous impediments to boys. Mothers would never seek to instill fear of danger, only respect for it. Boys were literally encouraged to take risks, to wrestle and fight, to explore, and to learn to take care of themselves. And this is because if a boy lived too soft a life, he would fail to become a man that could serve the tribe. And if a boy never learned to harness and channel his own strength, he would be a liability to others. The ancient Greeks raised their sons to have a strong spine. They had a crowning virtue called Andrea, which was one of the cardinal virtues. It meant courage and manliness in the face of adversity. Men were measured by this standard.

by how much Excellence or arrete they displayed in life. The whole Greek World venerated these masculine qualities and sought to instill them in Boys. In fact, one could argue that their whole mythological and cultural system was set up in a way to instill the heroic in young men. Boys competed endlessly to acquire such Andrea and narrete and as such they developed strong spines through the constant trials and challenges thrown at them. Boys aspire to be men of excellence and as a result men of Excellence is what ancient Greece produced perhaps in higher number than any culture since. And although the ancient Greeks May best exemplify masculine virtue, they are not alone in their example. Almost every great and strong culture that once flourished had ideals around manliness that were instilled in the youth. The noble and masculine man was a sacred ideal to almost every tribe and tradition across the ages. Only recently has it fallen from Grace. So what is the full ideal of masculinity in all its nuanced Grandeur here we are.

returning to our discussion of the hard and soft and exploring the right balance within man a bit of hardness ruggedness a straight spine is absolutely essential to cultivated masculinity too soft and you're gooey you're not capable and formidable you lack the very essence that makes you a man but being overly hard is also a problem especially if it lasts for over four hours you should go see your doctor but in all seriousness I notice a problem in overly hard Macho quote-unquote high value masculine men in the sense of a lot of them lack a glowing Vitality they lack a depth of feeling and playfulness and ultimately they lack an open heart this is the second aspect of masculinity that is quite nuanced and easily mixed up with femininity but at the core of manhood there is a correct balance between soft and hard between the heart and the spine each man must discover it for himself I personally like the Chinese conception of Yin and Yang in the iconic symbol Yang is traditionally masculine forward-leaning penetrative the yang

symbol emphasizes the masculine traits, and yet it has a Yin dot at its core. Without the Yang energy, the penetrating vital force, there is no masculinity at all. But without the soft Yin core, the open heart, there's no mature masculinity. Let me repeat that: without Yang energy, there's no masculinity at all. But without a bit of Yin, there's no mature masculinity. This is a more all-encompassing view of masculinity that most are willing to consider. They want to oversimplify it and put everything neatly into its box. When in truth, there's always overlap. Another more Western symbol to call to mind is that of a strong Christ figure, a man with a straight spine and an open heart. There's a tear of compassion in his eye that is accompanied by a gaze of intensity. He is a man of conviction and depth, fully present, fully vigorous, and alive, yet gentle. He is capable, formidable, and firm, yet loving. That is an image of masculinity in its highest expression. So these are some more balanced images, but let's not forget boys need spine to get there, spine to go.

through every level of initiation into the heart. So let's stop neutering our sons, eh? This idea of an open heart should not be confused with a mess of emotions. It is more of a depth of feeling and awareness that comes ultimately from mortality. In my book, I describe the initiations into death that come before the initiations into life. It is death, loss, and surrender that crack open the heart of man and open his eyes to life. These tend to be very hard experiences. When a man feels and understands the transience of all things, his own mortality, and that of everyone he loves, only then does he grab the fiery sword of life, just like the Samurai warrior meditating on death every morning. When a man returns from this encounter with the darkness, only then does he fully wake up to life. There's a level of surrender here that is not easily described. It is about surrender to heartbreak, loss, pain, change, and even death. At some point in every man's life, he has to learn how to surrender and let go. This takes the

ultimate courage. This is not the surrender in the sense of like passive submission. It's more of the surrender in the sense of an honorable death. Death, and it is essential to open masculinity. Like I said, immature masculinity is always tight, but mature masculinity is profoundly strong yet surrendered. Oddly enough, it is the heroic act of surrender amid suffering that produces a glowing vitality and depth of feeling within man. Traditionally, this encounter with death was facilitated in nature and assisted by elders: silence, fasting, psychedelics, pain, poison, and/or fear. From these many trials, an initiate would emerge with renewed strength and the open heart of a warrior. I talk about these initiations extensively in my book and in a recent video called Manhood: What We've Lost. Ultimately, the spine and the heart must both be cultivated and tested repeatedly in order to produce a strong and integral man. Unfortunately, we protect our boys from these trials and encounters today. This is a massive disservice to everyone. We raise boys in a safe and sanitized world, teach them

all manner of nonsense give them endless entertainment, and ship them off to schools and jobs that disconnect them from both their bodies and hearts. This is not where masculinity thrives. But where does it masculinity thrives? Where there is danger and direct problems to overcome. Manhood itself is the Quest for order, catalyzed by chaos or challenge. It thrives in the wild places where there's open space to conquer and Mastery to be gained. [Music] It was your father's. Teddy Roosevelt is perhaps the symbol of rugged masculinity for the West. Although he started off Life as a sickly and weak Boy, young Teddy was plagued by asthma in health restrictions. His father encouraged him to engage in various physical activities, including boxing and weightlifting. Under his father's guidance, he embarked on a rigorous exercise routine in Outdoor Adventures. Roosevelt's love for the natural world grew, and he started exploring the Wilderness, hunting and embracing the challenges of outdoor life. In fact, he flourished out in the wild west where there was wild and dangerous.

spaces left to explore and direct challenges to face. This adventure developed the masculine qualities of Courage, self-reliance, fortitude, leadership, and industriousness in the active Enterprises of life. In many ways, Teddy transformed himself into a mature masculine leader through his confrontation with the wild. He saw the rapid urbanization of his time emasculating men and creating degeneration in culture. He made the extensive National Park system to preserve the wild places of natural hardship where boys could still become men, and manly virtue was still preserved. Nature preservation, in many ways, is synonymous with masculine preservation. Manhood and mature masculinity are catalyzed by Challenge and Open Space. Men need the freedom to explore, to challenge themselves, to test themselves, to overcome things, and often they do this together. Although it's essential for boys to develop their own identity in becoming men, masculinity is not always a solitary act. In fact, camaraderie in community is at the core of it. Boys and men Thrive when they face challenge together. It is literally what

the masculine craves direct purpose and confrontation. As a team, think of a week-long hunt with minimal food and all the dangers of the Wilderness. This is where men originally bonded. Think of going out under the lights of a championship football game and all the work and sense of camaraderie that you and your team feel together. Think of when a community is under attack by Invaders and Men Must band together to defend the bridge. It is bloody, it is dangerous, but it is the most bonding thing on earth. It opens men's Hearts to each other, to the world, and strengthens their spine. My last example of this was when the blitz was happening in the UK during World War II. The mental health facilities essentially emptied out. The men who were basically invalids, who were crippled by mental health diseases, all of a sudden started Manning trucks going to the front line, helping other civilians, and banding together as men. Where the government previously thought the mental health facilities would be overrun, they emptied out because all of a sudden men had a

shared sense of purpose together without a sense of community purpose and Brotherhood. Men are prone to all manner of addiction, mental health diseases, and problems. This is why men lock themselves in their rooms and play video games and watch porn and do all manner of defiling things. It is because they lack Brotherhood and they lack a meaningful place within a community. In many ways, masculine Revival is about the Revival of Brotherhood. I know in my experience, having a Brotherhood again, having men around me who support me, who challenge me, who compete with me, who laugh, cry, and celebrate together, has been one of the most positive forces for growth possible. In conclusion, Reviving masculinity comes down to a few core tenets. What men need is very simple. They need connection to Nature, connection to challenge, connection to each other, and a valuable place within Community. But giving these things back to men will require a revolution in their personal lives and in culture as a whole. Let's recap and wrap up this video with six steps young men can take to revive masculinity.

how you can support them in their Journeys. For more information about all of this, make sure to check out my book, The Psychology of Slain Dragons. Number one: The pursuit of worthy goals. A man must feel capable and come to trust himself. This is essential if others are to trust him as well. The only way he can do this is through challenge and facing the world. The pursuit of worthy and meaningful goals is essential to masculinity. I know in my life, the act of writing a book and building a business has been critical for instilling discipline, grit, and the knowledge of self. Number two: Confronting fear and danger. We must encourage our boys and young men to be courageous, even heroic. Otherwise, they will come to live in a small box of fear, terrified of leaving a relationship or job or addiction and actually pursuing their true path. They must build a relationship with fear and uncertainty if they ever want to become true men and truly free. Number three: Time in the wild, initiations out in nature. These are essential to help men break out of their

ruts and see more clearly time. The wild places open the heart of man and strengthen his spine to reveal his deeper nature and fortify his masculinity. Number four, we need support for helping men surrender into their heart. In my book, I call this rendering Into the Heart of the warrior. It is where a man disintegrates and touches the Divine and returns to Life Anew. This often happens through times of trouble, heartbreak, loss, or change, and it's important for each Man to answer the call to take his hero's journey and face the darkness. Having systems of Brotherhood and Elder support, and stories along with initiation Ceremonies for this are essential. Number five, Brotherhood. This is the linchpin. Men need other men not just to talk, drink, and watch the game together. We need to conquer together, to endure, to compete, to create, to destroy, to feel alive, vulnerable, and connected with one another. This is not toxic, this is beautiful, and this is absolutely necessary. Number six, women. In my experience being in relationship to a

feminine woman for four years was one of my greatest teachers. It amplified my masculinity and refined me in every way. I think respecting the feminine and valuing long-term relationships over short-term hookups is essential to cultivating mature masculinity. So much could be said about reviving masculinity, but the bottom line is we need to come out of disconnection and resurrect a strong spine and an open heart within mankind. Thanks for watching Wisdom Warriors. I'm Christian. You can click here to find more content on masculinity and make sure to subscribe and hit that Bell notification for more video essays like this. I'll see you at the next video. Peace.

What you need to know about Men and Masculinity

What you need to know about Men and Masculinity

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