I saw a weakness in you on your latest podcast. You seem to overlook the fact that some infant children were raised in undisciplined environments with undisciplined parents. They grow up having modeled these undisciplined examples. I hate the fact that I have gross undisciplined behavior. Solving this is a major priority in my life. You have zero idea of what this experience is like for me. You seem blind to this struggle, like a father who would ignore their child's struggle and offer only the words mana. So this is a good question and I see where this guy's coming from for sure and I know that it can be very, very frustrating to try and become disciplined and I apologize that I haven't talked about the fact of what to do if you come from an undisciplined family or you have undisciplined parents. I haven't really talked about what to do in that situation but there's a reason.

that I haven't talked about that before,
and that is because you don't get discipline from your parents. You don't
get discipline from your parents, from your grandparents, from your older
brothers and sisters. You don't get discipline from an external source. You
have to get it from you. That's what self-discipline is. You get
it from yourself. You get it from you. So there's people from every possible
background, from no parents to crazy parents, to no drug-addicted parents,
to super squared away parents, and everywhere in between on that spectrum
that are completely disciplined people, more disciplined than anyone I know. It
doesn't come from your parents. You don't inherit it. And there's another piece
here. It's called ownership, right? It's called
ownership. And if you want to blame other people for the problem and
say this all the time, if you don't take ownership of the problem, the problems
don't get solved. So if you blame your parents for not having raised you in a
disciplined environment, you're not gonna

solve that problem you're looking at.
Your parents saying if you would have done a better job being more disciplined,
for me, I would be more disciplined now. So that means, that means you can't do
anything. The fact, the matter is, it's wrong. You actually can do something, and
it doesn't matter what do how your parents raised you and brought you up.
You can have the discipline you need to decide to do it. So as long as you're
blaming other people, I mean if you blame me from not discussing it, you blame me
for having zero idea what that experience is like, you blame your
parents for not raising you this way. As long as you're blaming other people, as
long as you're counting on other people to give you discipline, as long as you do
that, you will not have it. So again, I'm sorry, I should have made that. I should
make that more clearly. I'm trying to make it more clearly now. And like my
parents, my parents are good people.

they had successful careers as educators in public schools, and my mom eventually became went into school administration, and my dad taught in high school for 30-something years. They were good, hard-working people, but I'll tell you, they were no they were no extraordinary preachers of discipline. I'll tell you, I act I I never remember either one of them ever using the term or referring to discipline in any way, you know, and actually, both my parents worked. They both worked a lot. My dad was coaching sports and doing after-school stuff. My mom's same things. Like, we were on our own a bunch, but my parents were gone in the morning. We got ourselves to school. When we got home in the afternoon, they weren't home, you know, so it wasn't like they were setting up this rigid disciplined manner for me, right? And you can see this with families, many many different families. There's families that have kids that the parents are very disciplined, and the kids are wild.

mm-hm, sometimes that problematically so.
Right, kids that come from really good families, but they get addicted to drugs.
Lack of discipline, kids that come from really good families, but they spin
out of control and go in the wrong direction. And there's also the opposite,
which is, hey, the parents weren't around or the parents were abusive or the
parents were drug addicts, and all the cousins, the kid, the kid comes out of
that and is squared away, is awesome. And we saw that all the time in the SEAL Teams.
And I've said that before on this program, doesn't matter, it doesn't matter
where your background is, is what you decide to do, yeah. And I'll tell you another thing, it's not
even from the military, like the military requires discipline, obviously, but
there's plenty of people in the military that don't have it, right, and many
poor, many people lose their discipline when they leave the military because not
being imposed on them anymore. So, I mean

just go look around. I mean, being in the military does not make you a disciplined person. Being from a disciplined family does not make you a disciplined person. Being in a disciplined group does not make you a disciplined person. What makes you a disciplined person is choosing to be disciplined. So yeah, I, I, and also as far as telling people to man up, which, you know, when someone says how do I get up early every day, I say get up early every day. How do I stop eating sugar? Stop eating sugar. Look, that's the definition of man up. But obviously, it's not just men that need discipline in their life. I don't think I use that term, but what I do tell people is to get after it. That's what I tell people, to get after it. You know, I tell people to do the things that they know they're supposed to do, right? There's things that you know you're supposed to do as a human being, things that you know are going to improve your life. Do those things.

there's things that you know are gonna
make you a worse person, and make your life worse. Don't do those things. Do the things that are making you weaker.
Start doing the things that are gonna make you stronger, and smarter, and faster,
and healthier, and gonna make you a better human being. And I'll say the same
thing to this guy: you want to be more disciplined, get after it.
That's it. Get up early, do some kind of workout, eat good foods, clean your room,
make a list of things that you're supposed to do in your life, and then
wake up in the morning and do those things that you put on the list.
That's what discipline is. And know it is not easy, but you're not gonna get it
from anyone else but you, and it's worth it, and it is the thing that is going to
bring you freedom. That's the key word right there when he said it's worth it.
You know what, I think this is what I

think I think like in an environment as
like how he put it an undisciplined environment. I mean or something like
that where he grew up in an undisciplined environment. I don't
obviously that's a very vague expression, right? Undisciplined infirm, yeah, that got
meaning that could mean a lot of, yeah, a lot of different things. So a lot of
times like when you're brought up in a certain environment, basically you're
kind of taught or not taught, like the value of certain things. So if
you use, like, I don't know, working out or whatever, right? So I'm gonna use myself
as an example. My dad is an athlete, you know, not a superior athlete, but he was
you know he knew like working out was a part of life and stuff like that. And you
know, in elementary school, we're doing sports and stuff like that, you know, some
people, they don't do that at all. So and when they grow up into adulthood, the
some people straight up have never

worked out before never been in the gym, and you know, so growing up there, they were never taught the value of what work does for you. They never taught, so they can't appreciate it. They just simply don't know the value. Sure, they see people with, you know, you know, they're in shape where they can do these things, and they're very functional, whatever. They see that, of course, but they don't have that value. They don't feel that value. They just never learned. So it can come off as like this thing for other people, you know, like, Oh, that's what other people do kind of thing. So they don't understand the value. So back to the point, in their mind, this weird the connection is not made that it's worth it because they don't know the value of it really. But if you do know the value of it, then you can decide, Okay, is this worth it? Is it worth it to wake up every day and in quote-unquote get after it?

for this particular goal or this
particular set of goals. So, that's what it is, and I think sure the undisciplined
environment can maybe provide that, but I think you're right. I think that once
you're like, oh yeah, that's worth it, yeah, you know how people, they'll find reasons
when it's worth it, even though they've never experienced like, you know, like a
person who has a heart attack or something is like, and they have kids,
young kids or some, they have a heart attack, life maybe never worked out ever
in their life, they have a heart attack, they almost died, they're like, guess what,
I'm working out every single day, I'm a vegetarian now, you know, like doing major
major changes that they've never even thought about making, and they'll do it
because they decided it's worth it, and they'll be disciplined, they'll find that
discipline real quick no matter how they're trained as, you know, their
environment in there, because now I see.

that it's gonna be worth it. That's it.
Yeah, and if it's not worth it to you, and that I think is what you develop the
value of work. You know the value of you develop. You can develop that from
anywhere. That's one of that's but essentially that has really developed
that from any. You can develop that from from anywhere. Yeah, yeah, you can get
it from a parent. You can get it from yeah, exactly right, exactly right. But the
discipline itself, just like I said, that's gonna come from you. Your parents
can teach it, but guess who has to, you still, you. It's still you. And you can go
to the military to specifically learn discipline. When you leave, it's on you.
Who's it? Yeah, exactly right. And just like I said, like yeah, I know people who
are done with the military and are glad they're done with that, right? They're
glad with this waking up early. They're they're a baby. They were six months.
They're out of shape. They're not doing

anything productive. It's horrible to see, you know, but it happens. Happens with the military, it happens with anything. Yeah, when kids get out of high school sports, you know, and all of a sudden they don't want enough to do that. I don't have to listen to coach. Yeah, yeah, crazy. Don't listen to coach, listen to yourself. Yourself, yeah, determine whether or not it's worth it. And I'm telling you that you don't need to determine, I'm telling you it's worth it. Oh yeah, I'm telling you it is working. And you know what, you actually know it's worth it, that's why you're asking this question. You know it's worth it, you know it's worth it to have discipline, but you think there's an easier way, you think that it's something that people have, you think that when Jacko's alarm clock goes off, it's like, Oh, just like my father taught me, I rise and I shine, you know, like no. It's like the pillow feels soft and

comfortable, and the alarm clock is
banging on my head, and I don't like it. You know what, I know it's worth it to
get up and get after it. I know it's worth it, and you know it's worth it.
Here's the thing though, we all know it's worth it. Is it? In a way, you're right, but
like really though, really. I'm gonna be open and honest with you. I don't think
that the people know it's worth it. I think they know it's worth it, like the
kind on paper. They have a multiple choice question: is it worth it? Yes or no.
They'll be like yes, obviously I know working out is worth it. But here's the
thing. I don't if you don't know if you don't
like having good credit, for example. So I never got taught like why. Really, my
mom said, yeah, you should have good credit. That's it. That's the limit to my
education on credit, right? So of course I

blow it because they get, you know, I fall for literally all the tricks. It's self-inflicted and otherwise credit gets jammed up, so I don't know. I don't know the value. I don't know. I have never experienced the benefits of having good girl, you of good credit, so it really didn't mean much to me. Really, my credit was like junk, and I didn't care until I got denied for something that I cared, you know, but just like if you're never into working out until you're in a specific situation, what show, but but but like this guy that's asking this question and glad he's asking a question. I'm, I'm not, I'm trying. I'm not trying to come off all hard, but he realizes he realizes the value of discipline 'cause he's saying that he wants it, right? He knows that it's gonna make his life better, yeah, and that's why I think he's got and jammed up in whatever way we don't know 'cause I don't know, maybe he's gotten

unhealthy maybe he's you know who knows.
Maybe he's gotten his finances jammed up, whatever the case may be.
He knows that discipline is better for them, him. He knows that he does know this.
Isn't a guy that doesn't know yet 'cause sure there's people that don't, you know,
when you're 16 years old you don't know the value of discipline. You don't know
that the way you're acting right now is gonna affect you in five years. You don't know
you can set yourself your whole life up to be pretty awesome, you know. You don't know that yet.
You're just like worried about where you're going on a Friday night, right? Yeah. So this guy knows and he wants it,
and he's looking for where he can find it, and where he can find it is in the mirror, yeah, that's where it is, you know.
So do it, brother, good luck, get on the path and stay on the path, yeah, and that's gonna be beneficial when
you do that. I've harshly maintaining.

that like not knowing that value is a
big is a big thing. It's kind of like, okay, so back to my credit thing. I there
is a point at the end where, okay, so you know like, I don't know, 10 years ago or
whatever, I repaired my credit. My credit was repaired. I thought I went through it.
It was painstaking, not fun stuff, no, but I did it. Got my credit repaired, and now I
know the value because as an adult, I'm functioning. It's useful now, you know. So
now I know the value of having good credit because I've been through all the
things that having good credit brings you through, you know. Now I'm
thinking I'll never go back to bedrock, right, never. It's right, every single day.
I'm telling you that I agree with what you're saying, yeah. I agree with her,
you're saying. I'm saying that this guy knows the value, and that's why he wants
it, yeah. It's like when you freight.

realize that you got denied for something, and you were like, oh, credit has value. I understand that something happened in his life where he said discipline has value. I know that now. Yeah, but you did credit repair, and in what you said was, okay, I need to go out and repair my credit. You didn't say, hey, you know what, my mom didn't tell me about bad credit, and now I have bad credit. Yeah, yeah. So now, now what am I supposed to do? You know who repaired your credit? Who repaired your credit? Well, it was a combination of my wife and I, but, but who repaired your credit? Yeah, we did. Yes. Yeah. You took responsibility for it and said, okay, I'm gonna get my credit card. She's smarter than you. Yes, she was like, hey, I will, I will help with this, but it was you that said, okay, I got to get this fixed. Mm-hmm. And you got help, but you knew to reach out for help, but you're the one that ultimately is responsible.

for it yeah you're right about that like
I didn't like I didn't blame my parents and then continue having that good right
no right like they said no I gotta get Val this is this thing has credit has
value. I need to fix it yeah and you fixed it. You know regardless where it
came from regardless so oh you know oh you don't
know how to work out cool then you go hire a personal trainer because you know
it's gonna it's the right thing to do. You don't even oh you don't know how to
repair your finances cool go get a counselor that's gonna help you repair
your finances. Oh you're addicted to drugs or alcohol okay I'm gonna go find
a counselor or join a group so I can get through that thing yeah no one's gonna
hold your hand and bring you into the any of those situations. You got to do it
yourself you got the discipline to make it happen.

Why Discipline Must Come From Within - Jocko Willink

Jocko Willink and Echo Charles discuss discipline and leadership... extensively.