Hello, dear Maplers who may not realize how precious you are. This is Jung-min. When you came into this world, you were perfect as you were. However, based on the conditions provided by each person's family and the environment in which they grew up, we began to form our own frameworks. Moreover, our parents are merely human. Because of this, they always have flaws and areas that need improvement. The shortcomings of such parents can lead us to feel that they do not love us enough or do not see us as valuable and precious, which can reflect negatively on us. In an environment where we feel a lack of love and attention, and where we feel that acceptance of who we are is insufficient, what do we begin to learn? Existing as our true selves feels dangerous. As a child, I simply expressed my thoughts as they were, but that triggered something in my parents.

As a child, I simply expressed and revealed the emotions I felt, but I ended up getting scolded by my tired parents. Children who have lived only six or seven years do not have the capacity to understand that their mother and father grew up in certain environments and accumulated specific deficiencies, which then triggered their reactions towards me. How do children perceive this? They think, I must be wrong; there is something wrong with me, and they internalize it as shame. I urge you to reflect on what exactly you feel ashamed of. Is it something that truly warrants shame, or is it simply aspects that have made me feel unloved, stemming from the cracks in my attachment relationships since childhood? We begin to deceive ourselves into thinking that we need to hide these feelings. When we live artificially, we seek validation from others, craving likes and approval.

I can receive love. Many people might like me, but no one truly loves me. When I shed all pretenses and live authentically, I receive love. Who will love me? Those who see me as I am and resonate with me. What is the value of the likes we receive when we hide ourselves? They don't remain with me anyway; they are from people who are not important in my life. The fake likes I receive leave me feeling unhappy. For some reason, I feel empty and lonely because I am not living as my true self. Deep down, I know this. Wanting everyone to like me is the same as wanting to live as a false version of myself. Once again, wanting everyone to like me means I want to change myself constantly and live inauthentically. There is no need for everyone to like me, just as I don't like everyone.

From a young age, adults tell us that we should get along well with everyone, and that being a good person means doing just that. However, that's a blatant lie. If I live authentically, people will naturally filter themselves. Those who resonate with me and will be happy with me will naturally stay and be drawn to me, while those who don't resonate with me and won't love me will either leave on their own or never be attracted to me in the first place. So, how is life? It's incredibly comfortable. I don't need to think too hard about relationships because by simply being myself, the right people come into my life, and those who aren't meant to be in my life do not appear. It's impossible to live truthfully and get along well with everyone. There will always be people who dislike me, and there will always be those who want to push me away. What they feel when they see me is completely outside my control.

Trying to control things outside of myself is purely a waste of time. Please let the sun rise in the west tomorrow. Let it snow in the middle of summer. It's the same thing. Jesus and Buddha both ate their fill. Not everyone can like me, and just because not everyone likes me doesn't mean there's something wrong with me. My personality isn't strange. The belief that if you have a good personality, you will get along well with everyone and be loved by all is a big red lie. Start supporting yourself with that in mind. So, when you live inauthentically and then begin to live truthfully, painful things can happen. What that means is that people I used to feel quite close to or valued may leave. So, I could lose the relationships I currently have. Losing the familiar is...

It always hurts, whether it's people or the clothes we wear. The routine of everyday life causes the human ego to pursue what is familiar. Even if what is familiar is harmful to me, I want to keep it. So, when I lose something familiar, I feel a great pain. However, the pain of living a lie and losing the relationships I have is truly temporary. You can decide which pain you want to choose. Should I endure the pain of keeping people in my life who are not truly mine, while sacrificing myself and causing all sorts of diseases in my body, mind, and spirit? Or should I let go of those who no longer belong in my life, experiencing temporary pain until those who will love me sincerely appear? Which pain will you choose? If I do not respect myself, who will respect me? If I abandon myself, who will protect me?

Living a lie places me at the very bottom. What did I do wrong that I have to live dishonestly? Everyone, what is wrong with you that you cannot live as your true selves? Who made you this way? A genuine life, a true existence—there's something I want to clarify here. So, what is a genuine life? What does it even mean to live genuinely? I value myself too much, so I don't want to wake up early. That's why I'll come to work three hours late. This has nothing to do with living as my true self. My way is not related to authenticity. A genuine life is about living according to the values that matter. Adapting my attitude based on my environment and maintaining appropriate manners towards others falls under the realm of sociality. For this person, I might be a bit more formal, and for that person, I might be a bit more relaxed, adjusting according to the situation at hand.

맞추어서 사회적인 틀 안에서 유연하게 활동하는 것은 거짓으로 사는 게 아니에요. 환경이나 상황, 그리고 상대와 무관하게 마이웨이 하는 건 성품의 문제입니다. 그런 사람들을 진실한 사람이라고 볼 수는 없어요. 친구들이랑 이야기할 때 업무를 볼 때, 스스로를 다른 방식으로 표현하는 건 인간으로서 너무나 자연스러운 일입니다. 친구들이랑 이야기할 때는 조금 더 편하게 앉아서 조금 더 상스러운 단어들을 쓰며 다른 목소리 톤으로 이야기를 하다가, 상사에게 업무 보고를 하는데 똑바로 서서 바른 몸가짐을 갖추고 조금 더 중저음의 목소리로 또박또박 이야기를 하는 것은 자신의 가치를 저버리고 진실되지 못하게 사는 것과는 아무 상관이 없는 일입니다. 하지만 상대의 마음을 얻기 위해, 사회적인 수용을 얻기 위해 내 가치를 거스르는 것, 그것이 거짓된 삶입니다. 예를 들어 볼게요. 나는 정말로 작곡을 하고 싶습니다. 그런데

Because of my parents, who are averse to music, I feel hesitant and think, I should just go into the humanities, so I remain in the humanities. Or, there is someone I genuinely like, but I feel embarrassed to show others that I am with this person, that this is my boyfriend. So, I choose a more suitable partner to present. Additionally, I always say yes to opinions that I think are valid. I have a few hobbies in areas I’m interested in, but since they won’t make money or help my career, I only study for certifications. And I really want to receive more attention, so I constantly post on social media in a very self-indulgent manner. Can you gauge how many people in modern society are living inauthentic lives? What values do you prioritize? Friendship, family, gratitude, inner peace, loyalty, patience, fairness, empathy and connection, sharing, service, responsibility, coexistence, the environment. Do you know what values you hold?

Have you ever thought about how important it is? Even now, I hope you can discover your core values and respect yourself as a human being, with agency and dignity, to set standards for your life and live firmly. What is important to me? What makes me happy? If the gaze of others hinders me from pursuing those things, then it’s time to start the long journey of healing, and it’s not too late to begin right now. All the videos that might help you are prepared on my channel, so please search for Mindful TV and try writing down your thoughts, asking yourself questions, and reflecting every day to connect with yourself. You can also find helpful links in the description below, so please read them one by one. You are precious for no reason at all, even when you look at yourself.

I hope that when you look at others, you can embrace them with unconditional acceptance and a warm heart filled with love. Remember that when this world is filled with conditional beliefs, you are the embodiment of wholeness itself. I hope you can gradually eliminate all the beliefs and concepts that create limitations and boundaries since the day you were born until now. From the deepest part of my heart, I send you strong and abundant love. Don't forget to meditate today, and I wish you find your inner peace. Stay calm; that is the most important thing.

오늘도 스스로를 버리셨나요? 꼭 시청해주세요 🤕

mindfulness mentor ❤ jungmin
의식 있는 삶의 멘토, 정민입니다.

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