(Corn) Alright. And then we can vlog and- I don't know what this means for anything, but I'll tell you this, it's not fucking good.

(Jesse) You don't want me here! I'm going to be straight up, you don't want me here, because I've got to do videos, and I know you don't like the fucking camera. (Melissa) I know I don't! But I don't want to see you go through this shit because I know you're going to be just like him, I've told you this! I'm not going to be him, I've seen how he acts, I will never be that! (Terry) Stop hallowing! Please! Let's calm down, okay? We're going to clean this up. We're just going to compose ourselves, there's nothing we can do, he has to get help, there's nothing we can do. We tried that with Dr. Nelson, we tried it, it doesn't fucking work, therapy doesn't work if you're not open to it, we've had this conversation a million fucking times. Well, you need to get away from him too, Jesse.

You're just coming over here to start drama. No, I'm not, I'm not, I told him. Oh God (Jesse). I told him (Melissa). Why? You're telling me right this very minute that he's coming! He left, he left before we did, and I tried my best to stop him, but he got it out of me. He told me yesterday! I told you guys that he followed me and he already had an idea that you were here. Terry, you've got to go upstairs. Is he pulling in? I'm telling you right now, he's not allowed in this house. Well, is Uncle George here? (Melissa) No! He's at the bar watching the Football Game! Well, can you fucking call him or something? (Terry) I don't want to talk to him. (Melissa) No, don't worry about it, you- (Jesse) Mom! Mom! Come back! You have to talk to him!

(Terry) You don't think it should wait just a little bit? The more I wait, the more he's going to be pissed off. (Melissa) And what's he going to do? What are you going to go home and face? Don't go there! Let him calm down! (Terry) Can't you just wait for like an hour? Maybe give him a little time before you get going? (Melissa) You're a pain in the ass, just stay here. Stay upstairs with your mom for the night. I'm telling you- (Terry) Or you could go out into your room, and just stay in there for a little while before you go in the house. (Melissa) You have to stay away from him! (Melissa) I mean you are a whiny little son of a bitch. (Jesse) Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay! (Melissa) STAY AWAY FROM HIM! (Terry) No more hollering, please.

And you don't need to pull her into this anymore. This is her safe evening! This is her relationship! (Melissa) No! She's - Fine. Handle it yourself. No problem, I can handle your dad. Actually, no. I don't fucking trust you. No, you can't. I've dealt with him my whole entire life, alright, just don't aggravate him. I'll greet him in a calm way. Where's my wife? Dad! Dad! Just calm down! We're all - No, you're not. I saw you in the freaking driveway, you clearly, you sped off. (Jeff) How long have you been here? Listen! We're not going to have this controversy! We're not! We're going to keep calm! I just want to talk to my wife, that's all I want. You had chances to talk to your wife, you're not doing it here. This is where- Let her tell me that. (Melissa) Jeff! Come on!

Just get your mother down here, please. (Melissa) No! She's not coming down here! (Jesse) I'm not, look, I'm not on your side, dad! You're in my house and you're getting the fuck out of here right now! Move it! (Jeff) Come on, get my wife out here, please, now. Get the fuck out of my house! Why have you got to be like that, you're talking about problems with me! No! You came into my house, and you're accusing me! Get my wife out here. You are not seeing your wife. So how about that, motherfucker! Well, there she is right there, now get out of my face. (Melissa) Terry! Get back in your room! (Terry) This needs to stop. You need to stop and you need to leave, get out. (Jeff) Don't touch me. Don't Touch Me! (Jesse) DAD! (Melissa shouts)

Right now! And don't ever come back! (Jesse) No, no, no, no! You leave him! DAD! DAD YOU STOP! DAD! STOP! FUCKING STOP! DAD! Turn around and look at me! Turn around and fucking look at me, I'm dead serious. Dad! Look at me. (Jesse) Do not come into this fucking house and touch her like that! (Jeff) She started on me. YOU JUST SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME, AND MOM, AND YOU DO NOT FUCKING DO THAT! She got on me first WHAT, ARE YOU GOING TO FIGHT ME TOO? No, I'm not going to fight you. Do not ever come into that house, and touch her like that, and throw her into the fucking tree! DO YOU WANT TO GET MOM BACK? She jumped me (Jeff) Calm it down! You calm down! (Jesse) THAT SHIT CAN'T FLY!

(Jeff) It flew. Aunt Melissa! (Melissa) What? Are you okay? (Melissa) Oh, I don't know. She's trying to hide the tree, but that Motherfucker! Look what he did! Look at this! (Jesse) Are you okay? (Terry) I'll tell you what! Yeah! I'm fine! But I'm telling you, that Motherfucker is never stepping foot in this house again! The next person who talks to him will be my lawyer! Because I have had it! I have really had it! Look at my poor tree! GODDAMNIT! Are you alright? Do you feel okay? Terry, I told you! You've got to stay away from him! And Jesse, you have to, too, do you realize that? Do you see it? I know! I know! I live in that- SO STAY AWAY FROM HIM! I live in that house, I'm only going to be living there for a couple more weeks.

I do need to go home. I don't think I should stay here. I think I'm going to go into the room in the Morton Building, and I'll just sleep out in there. (Terry) I think we should lock the doors. (Melissa) Oh, definitely. When George gets home, I've got to call him now, and we've got to fix this now before he comes home because he's just going to be- I think the worst is over. (Melissa) No, it's not! The worst is not over, Jesse! It's going to get worse! I'm the one who has to go home to it. (Terry) He's not going to talk to me anymore. I told him I don't want to talk to him. He'll talk to my lawyer. Let's get out of me. Are you guys going to be okay? (Melissa) We'll be fine. I'll text you. I'll let you know what the situation is at home. But we've got to get back because you know how he is. Okay?

(Jeff) He's not innocent! Listen! Listen to how you're yelling at me. Why would you not come in and say, Hello Melissa, how are you doing? Can I talk to my wife? No! (Jeff) Because everybody's been lying to me about where she was. I have not lied to you, Jeff! I have not even been able to speak to you or Terry for months! (Jeff) Why? Nobody stopped you! (Jesse) You stopped her! You never let her talk to mom! I don't even like Aunt Melissa, but you never let her! (Melissa) Thanks, Jesse. (Jeff) What do you mean I never let her? (Jesse) You prevented her from coming over to the house. That was only twice! Why does that affect the whole time? It was two episodes! Hey! Listen! I talked to Terry, I would call you up, and you'd say, Oh sorry, she's not here, and then I have to tell her a couple days la-

Right. Okay, Motherfucker. You are in my house, and you don't do shit like that. You do not! You get the fuck out of here! (Jeff) What are you talking about? She's right there! (Melissa) I don't care! Terry! (Terry) I don't want to see you, I don't want to talk to you! You don't need to be around her anymore! She doesn't want to be around you! Let her talk! Not just you! You're always so demanding! You think- GET OFF! (Jesse) DAD! DAD! What are you doing? (squealing) GET OFF! (Jesse) HOLY SHIT! (broken squeals) (Jeff) What ails you freaking people? (Melissa) What the fuck is wrong with you? (Terry) GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS HOUSE NOW! Dad! Dad! (Melissa) You fucker! Get the fuck out of here! (Jesse) What the fuck!

(Jesse) Okay, okay, okay! He's not here! (Jesse) Holy shit (Jesse) I don't know how the fuck it will be in here (Jesse) Right, you good? (Corn) Yep, good, man. (Corn) Yeah, yeah. (Jesse) Okay, fuck. fuck. (Jesse) Shit! It's pouring down! Ow! My spleen! My spleen! Ma! Mom! Aunt Melissa! Aunt Melissa! What is going on? I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm out of breath (Melissa) What? You scared the shit out of me! I know, I know. But my dad- Dad's going to be here any minute! No he's not, stop. (Jesse) No, no! I'm not even shitting you! He knows! He knows that my mom's here How would he fucking know? You know, stop bullshitting! I'm not. I'm not bullshitting

But this is my house! But technically, that was just self-defense! I understand, you get all caught up with him because he's fucking nuts, Jesse. This is why you have to get away from him! (Jesse) I know, and that's what I plan to do, the fucking New Year comes, I'm out of that house! (Melissa) I swear to God, I had better never see him again. You wait until Uncle George comes home and sees this shit! I've got to deal with him! (Terry) No, you know what, I don't think he's going to come back. He's not. He's not, I yelled at him out there, and I probably fucking shouldn't have because now I need to go back too! (Melissa) Don't go back! Stay here! (Jesse) I live in that house, Aunt Melissa! (Melissa) I'm telling you, you need to be away from him!

(Jesse) I'm aware AND I AM! LET ME LIVE MY LIFE! (Terry) Will you stop hollering? I've had it! Look, just look around, look what he did. Look at my fucking tree. Do you think this is normal family life? Look, we need to get back to my house, because if I don't go home now, I'm going to really get it fucking three times as bad as right here. (Melissa) Yeah, and I feel so sorry for you, you're going to be so fucked up in the head, this is why I feel sorry for you (Terry) He's getting out. He's moving out. (Melissa) He's got to! (Melissa) Is he? (Terry) Yes (Jesse) Yeah (Jesse) I appreciate the concern. (Melissa) Well... (Jesse) Mom, I have to get back, I'm sorry this happened Well, I'm sorry it's happened too, but I feel sorry for you, you've got to get your shit together.

(Melissa) Goddamnit. No! I can't call him! He's at the bar, he'll never hear the phone! (Terry) Melissa! If he comes- Terry! Get in the room! Jesus Christ, here he comes! (Melissa) Goddamn this! Jesse! (Jesse) Oh, he's fucking here? (Melissa) Yes! I'm telling you now, I'm going to talk to him calmly. Shit! Shit! Fuck! (Melissa) I'm not going to deal with this in the house! No! You don't have to talk to him! Mom, you have to say something to him! No, she's not! She's staying up there! You don't get her involved in this! If she doesn't talk to him, he's going to freak out! (Melissa) No, he's not. You don't know him like I do! I've had to deal with a lot of shit! She's had to deal with a lot of shit! I know you don't want to talk to him, but you have got to talk to him, otherwise, things are going to get bad.

I don't need you to tell me that. I need her to tell me that. She's told you a few times! That's why she had to leave the house! That's why she went to Larry's (Jeff). No, it isn't. No. You know it, you know this. You're not the same sweet person you were years ago. How old was Jesse when we met you? I was like two freaking years old, and it's stupid that this is happening (Jeff). Things change. Things change? Your wife loves you, and you changed that. Oh, is that the way to show me? (Jeff) Not even talk to me, block me out, no! That's not the way it is! Because of what you have done to her! (Jeff) There's nothing done to her! (Melissa) You have problems! (Jesse) Nothing done to her? (Melissa) You need psychiatric help! And guess what, you're messing with your son just as bad! He's going to be just like you!

(Jeff) Did you ever think she was not there? She would tell me she was there! She hadn't left the house in two days! You lie all the time! (Jeff) Oh, cut it out! Quit all of the drama! No! There's something wrong with you! Something snapped in you, Jeff! There's nothing snapped in me! (Jesse) What about when you destroyed the whole fucking shop or when you destroyed mom's computer? (Melissa) Yeah! Why do you do that? The computer was ours! (Melissa) It doesn't matter if it was yours! (Jeff) But the shop, yeah! I destroyed it! I'll pay Uncle Larry for that. I told you that before! Listen! You're not listening! It doesn't matter whose it is, you're destroying it! Why are you doing this? Because they piss me off. That is why you need help. Oh, I need help? (Melissa) So bad!

(Melissa) Terry, don't worry about it. (Terry) I'm so sorry. I'm alright. I think I've got pine oak stuck all over me. Look at my poor tree! (Jesse) Are you good? (Melissa) No, I'm fine. (Melissa) I thought I could handle him. He really has a lot of issues, Jeff-Jesse. He's a lot worse than I thought. (Melissa) Oh my God! Georgie gave this to me for Christmas! Why does he think he can do this? I don't understand it! (Terry) I'm not talking to him. The lawyer's talking to him! (Jesse) Why? Why did you push him? I told you not to aggravate him! Why did you push him? Listen, I tried to be calm. I tried to. You jumped on his fucking back though! But did you see? He threw me on the couch! I know! Because you pushed him!

No! She's not! (Terry) No! I'm not talking to him! End of story. (Jesse) That's going to be the whole reason for why he's here. If you don't start talking to him, he's going to fucking flip and shit. Well, that's tough shit! It's my house, he's not going to do fucking no shit! Oh, so you're going to stop him! Yes! I'm going to stop him! This is my property! Mom! (Terry) I'm staying right up here. I'm telling you right now, Jesse, it's not going to end any good. (Melissa) No! No! Don't get upset! There's no one pulling in! I don't think he's coming. (Jesse) I'm telling you! I'm telling you right now! You know what, Jesse, he might have just been trying to tail you out to see if you were telling the truth! Well, either way, if I led him back here, he's going to fucking be here! Could you call Uncle George?

(Terry) I love you, Jesse. I love you too. I'm sorry this happened, Aunt Melissa. It's alright. I'll do anything for your mom, you know that. (Jesse) Yeah, and I love you for that. I just hate to see you going through this, because I'm telling you, you're going to be just like your father. (Jesse) No. (Melissa) YES YOU ARE! (Terry) No, no he's not. No, I won't be, okay? (sigh) What are you doing, dude? Can you not? Did you see that shit that went down there? Hello? (Corn) Yeah. Can you talk? (Corn) Yeah. What do you want me to say? I don't know. I don't know what- I'm just going to camp out in the room, we've got to do Fan Mail tomorrow, just pull up to the end of the driveway, I'll hop in the car, we'll go and grab the Fan Mail, we'll just bring it out into the room in the Morton Building, and we'll just do Fan Mail in there, okay?

AUNT MELISSA FIGHTS PSYCHO DAD!

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