Navigating Financial Conversations with Friends

Navigating financial discussions with friends requires careful relationship assessment and a compassionate, non-preachy approach.

### Navigating Financial Conversations with Friends: Tips for Sensitivity and Support
* 💬  Discussing finances with friends who struggle financially requires a **careful approach** to avoid coming off as **preachy or judgmental**.
* 🤝  Assess the nature of your relationship with the friends in question, as some may **welcome open discussions** while others may not.
* 🔍  Utilize the Socratic method to guide conversations; instead of criticizing decisions, ask questions that encourage **reflection on their financial choices**.
* 💡  For example, when a friend makes a questionable purchase, frame your inquiry around their **decision-making process** rather than labeling them as **irresponsible**.
* 📈  Model good financial behavior in your own life, as this often leads friends to **seek your advice organically**, especially when they notice your **principled approach**.
* 📚  Share resources like books or financial shows that have helped you, making it a **natural part of your conversations** rather than a forced suggestion.
* 🏡  Look for casual opportunities to discuss finances, such as during relaxed gatherings, where friends may feel more **comfortable asking for your insights**.
* 💪  Ultimately, fostering a **supportive and understanding environment** can help friends become more **open to discussing and improving their financial situations**.

[Music] okay, the question is how should my wife and I go about talking about finances with friends that don't seem to be doing very well with finances? What do you think about that? Oh, this one's hard, bro, 'cause listen, look, I'm a financial mutant, but you've got to be careful 'cause nobody wants to feel preached to, mhm, mhm. And look, I'm just going to tell you, you're going to see this your whole life. I don't know how old Thomas is and their spouse, but um, you're going to see lots of bad decisions around you, and you kind of just had to grin and bear it. And I think um, out of a place of love, I you know, if you're trying to improve the life, I mean Bo and I both did this, so we this is actually well-worn. I bought Millionaire, I bought Wealthy Barber for every one of my friends um, and I'm hopeful that Millionaire Mission becomes that for for a lot of people. Now I'll leave it to you both, how do you give

this it's one thing to give it to a college graduate. It's another thing maybe even as a wedding present. But what do you do if it's just a couple that you're close with and maybe you travel with? How do you do that? Well, that's what I was going to say. I think the very first thing you have to do is you have to assess the relationship. 'Cause I know for me and my wife, we have friend relationships where I can see the other couple making a decision and I look like, You're a knucklehead. What are you doing? Like, that's not wise. You just got a new car last year. Why'd you get this new car right now? And we have a relationship where we can talk that way. We have other friends where we might see that same sort of behavior and we'll have a wonderful dinner and we'll have a wonderful evening and then as my wife and I are leaving, we'll just say, You know, bless their heart, right? Like, that's all you can say. So what

you want to be careful of is don't impose your views and your thoughts and your ideals on this unless you have a relationship where that kind of conversation is warranted. Now, if that kind of conversation is warranted and you want to figure out how you can begin having that, what I have found is difficult conversations are most often, uh, I am most often able to have difficult conversations through the Socratic method, right? So I'll use my example of the new car. Hey, uh, Brian, I love the new car. Y'all got a new car last year. What happened with that one? Oh, no, hey, well, you know, I was listening to this money guy show that I don't know if you've heard of the money.com. They're amazing, uh, and they said that like in the first four years that you own a car, something like 60% of the value that you're getting invited back over. I can just go ahead and tell you that that is, I get what you're saying though, is it you.

imagine Converse B's going to be in the cuac every neighborhood, and every neighbor is going to be grilling out hot dogs at this one neighbor's house. And all of a sudden, Bose's not going to be there, and he's going like, What happened? I wonder what went wrong. And they're like, Remember why you can never have these conversations? Don't think that's you. Got to kind of know where those conversations can be had and where those conversations can't be had. I'm saying on the ones where they can, you don't want to lead with, Hey, dummy, why'd you get that car? It's more asking, Oh, hey, man. Oh, okay, you're putting a pool in. That's amazing. Interest rates are so high right now. You la for like what? Want me through? And what you do is when you have people walk you through their decision-making process, it very quickly is uncovered that, Oh, wow, there maybe wasn't a huge decision-making process. There wasn't like a checklist they went through to make sure that was. And then if you are

financially educated. You can kind of speak into that again out of a place of like respect and love and friendship and compassion, but also informative and truthful. I think that's the best way to approach that as opposed to just being like, Oh, you're obviously a bad decision maker. I would encourage. Here's another thing I've used in my own life is, um, now look, what I'd love to know is from our audience is because now it's getting harder for me to do this because, I mean, the show's gotten big enough, this whole book, you know, doing so well. I think people are starting to think there's realized something there, but earlier in my life, I always tried to model. I eat my own cooking, sure, meaning I modeled the life I, you know, it was no hypocrisy on how I handled my own finances. And when people, when you live your life differently and you're very principled in it, I have found in my life, people would come and ask me.

questions because they're going to have a general curiosity when they can tell that you live your life differently, that you're actually very principled on how you save and invest. And then it starts getting to the point where you know some of those elements spill over in your success, is shown in different ways. Um, they'll ask you questions and be prepared to have or look for those questions, but be careful about being preachy on it. Um, model the really good behavior and then like, 'cause look, I don't mind sharing. When you tell people you're a financial adviser, they immediately assume you're going to try to sell them a life insurance policy or something else like that. So that's not immediately when people would come to me and start talking. What I found is like neighbors, we'd be sitting on the back porch watching a sporting event or drinking our favorite adult beverage or something, and they would say, 'Hey, think about doing this home improvement. You know, what are your thoughts on this?' And then that's there's

a way things will just happen naturally that allows you to kind of share your mindset, and then that's probably going to create the access point or the opportunity to kind of open it up a little bit more. And it's just like I think of a former neighbor. He still tells me CU. When I first met him, he was doing all these individual stocks MH, and I one night when we were on his back porch. I was like, do you really think you're outperforming doing that? And he's like, oh yeah, like tell this one and this one and this one. And I so then for like the next three years, I'd say, you realize the S&P 500 made this last year. And he like, I was like, did you go see what you made last year? And he's like, well, I made this on. He always named off two or three stock. I say no, no, no, take them all. What did you make on all of your stocks? And then he called me uh because he's moved away now, but he has I think I've

converted him. I think he does it. He still dabbles because I think those habits are hard to break. Love dabbling in those individual stocks, but he's like, you know, I've pretty much realized the S&P is beating about everything that I've been picking, and I'm like, yeah, welcome to the party. So, it's um, that that's kind model the behavior. They will notice you're different, and they'll come to you, but that also look for opportunities to share resources, money, go show millionaire Mission. Obviously, there's lots of other things. Those things will help in this journey as well.

How Do We Talk About Finances With Friends Who Aren't Doing Well?

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The Money Guy Show

Discussing Finances with Struggling Friends

Talking about finances with friends who are struggling can be challenging.

It's important to approach the situation with love and care, avoiding a preachy attitude.

Assessing the nature of the relationship is crucial, as some friends may be open to financial discussions while others may be not receptive.

It's important to avoid imposing your views on others unless the relationship allows for it.

The Socratic method can be an effective way to navigate difficult conversations by asking questions and guiding the other person through their decision-making process.

Understanding where and how to have these conversations is key to uncovering the thought process behind someone's choices.

Approaching Financial Conversations with Compassion

It's important to speak about financial decisions with respect, love, and compassion, rather than judgment.

Modeling principled financial behavior in your own life can inspire others to ask questions and seek guidance.

Being open to sharing your knowledge while avoiding a preachy attitude can create meaningful conversations about financial decisions.

Sharing Mindsets and Creating Opportunities

The speaker emphasizes the importance of sharing mindsets to create access points for deeper conversations.

They share a story about a former neighbor who was focused on individual stocks, and the speaker challenged him to consider his overall performance.

Over three years, the speaker consistently pointed out the S&P 500's performance and encouraged the neighbor to evaluate his total earnings from all his stocks.

The speaker's friend has struggled to break free from dabbling in individual stocks, despite realizing the S&P's superior performance.

The speaker emphasizes the importance of modeling positive behavior and sharing resources to help others on their financial journey.

Offering support and opportunities, like the millionaire mission, can also aid in breaking unhealthy investment habits.