- So I've done a lot of videos about motivation, about overcoming procrastination, about getting stuff done, about achieving your dreams, and one thing that keeps coming up is identifying your why, your purpose. If you have that purpose, if you have that deep meaning

about what you're doing, it's going to keep you motivated to do it. And then the natural follow-up question to that is, well, how do I know what I want? How do I know my why? And I've been thinking about this for a while,

I want to make a video about it. It's the hardest question to answer, and it's annoying that I have to say, it's really up to you to find it. But here's the best advice I can give: Observe. I'm not telling you to observe what I'm about to do,

I'm saying observe. That's the best advice I can give, because I think if what you're looking for is meaning, a reason for existence, I think that might be the wrong question. I don't think that's really possible.

Life is long and complex; things change, people change, the world changes. To think that there's just one thing you're here for is kind of silly. The world is made up of lots of things. And this is something I've said in an older video

that I'm going to say again. When you think of all the possible questions you can ask—who, what, when, where, why, how—there's really only one question: Who? What person? Where? What place? When? What time?

How, what method? Why, what reason? Did I forget one? Who, what, when, where, why, how, and then what? What are all of them? What is the only question, and then the answer to 'what is something'?

And the world is just a bunch of things. Bear with me. And I think what we're really craving when we're craving a purpose is a story. We all want stories. In fact, I think humanity needs stories. Stories generally involve a person, a character

wanting something, a reason. They have a reason. What reason? Why? Stories are the motivating factor of everything, but stories don't come out of nowhere. They're created by situations. They're created by things. So how do you find your own story?

You have to look at things, you have to observe, and recognize that it's probably all made-up bullshit, but it's made-up bullshit that we can believe in. Again, bear with me. During times when I feel down, it generally involves

not knowing what I'm supposed to do next, especially for this YouTube channel when I can do anything and I have no real direction. I'm struggling to figure out, well, what is my purpose? Why am I making things? Like, why?

as a way to try to figure out what to make next. And when you get in those moods, it's very easy to think that nothing has any reason. You're lacking a story, so you have to find the story.

Yes, it might feel like bullshit, but it's still real. So the other day, I was in one of those moods and I was walking my dog around the block and I told myself, "I'm just going to observe."

And I just started identifying stuff around me, looking at people's houses, looking at things in their lawns, looking at cars in the street, looking at stuff on the street, and just identifying it, saying it in my brain.

I might've even said it out loud sometimes. I started noticing things that I'd never noticed before. Someone had a bird feeder on their tree; I'd never saw it before. Various decorations around the house. I saw works in progress, gardens that were in the middle of being tended.

Those right there, stories. I could come back later and check again, see the progress; that's a story. It gives you something to anticipate. It gives you a reason, however minimal, to check on something; that's what a story is.

So if you're feeling lost, if you don't know your purpose, you're probably...there's an airplane. See, example of observing right there. You're looking for a purpose; you're probably just lacking a story. You need a story, and where do you get that story?

You're probably going to have to make it up. Some people, if it seems like they have it all together, they know exactly what they want to do, and they go do it; that's probably because they just lucked out.

They just have some natural inclination. They have a natural story within them, something they know makes them happy, and they do it. Not everyone has that luxury. I don't know why I unzipped this just now; I zip, I unzip.

So you might have to build that story, and one way is doing what I said: observe; just literally take stock of everything around you repeatedly, daily. Call stuff out. Try to look in directions you don't normally look.

Look at your neighbors' houses without being creepy, but like, I'm going to look, I'm going to look out there right now. Neighbors across the street; they have those bags of leaves that look like a jack-o'-lantern—clever!

That's a clever thing that's been around for decades, but still, it's good to see. I wouldn't have even—that wouldn't have ever registered in my brain as something they did because I don't look around

unless I force myself to. Now I'm thinking, like, why do we do that? Why do humans take a pumpkin and make a face out of it? But then also, that fake thing we make—we make another thing, a bag that references that fake thing

to rake up leaves so that we can have our grass, which is sort of like a fake nature. Why is everything fake about human beings? That isn't that interesting? Look, I'm telling a story about humanity, and we build big machines to cut down that grass.

As if it's like the hair on our head, we make sure it's nice and neat, because we like to keep things neat. See, I could go on forever. Point is, by observing things repeatedly, literally calling it out, "There's an eagle!"

(punches eagle) I hit my computer, desk, monitor, TV (that I've been meaning to move to a different room), painting my wife got me, that's a bunch of coffee cups. And I think doing this grounds you in reality,

in the actual real world, as opposed to being all up in your head, thinking deeply in a meta way about life and your deep, intense, important purpose, which, in reality, is something you just gotta make up, and it's probably not that deep.

I don't know, in theory, it might not work for you. Here are some other things you can do. Well, before I get into those other things you can do, I would like to thank the sponsor of this video, Beam,

and their awesome cocoa that helps you sleep, Dream, and it's currently the lowest price ever, up to 50% off for Beam's Black Friday sale, so don't sleep on it. (group of people laugh) I find that if I just get enough sleep,

everything feels better, and Beam helps me. I have it almost every night, and sometimes it falls from the ceiling after I've been holding it; it's weird. Often I'm getting into TV shows at night, staying up later than I should,

But I just made this delicious cocoa; it gives me the sleepies, and I actually want to fall asleep. It helps me go to bed earlier, it helps me sleep better throughout the night, and I wake up feeling refreshed. You can get it with CBD or without CBD.

There are lots of options of different flavors you can have. I currently have the cinnamon cocoa, but it also comes with all these good ingredients. Apigenin keeps me going, reishi makes me feel good, magnesium makes me feel amazing,

L-theanine makes me feel joyful. Melatonin helps me go to bed early rather than staying up watching movies. I just picked a random movie. There was a clinical study with the CBD version reporting Dream helped them get a more restful night's sleep

and wake up feeling more refreshed. They sponsor me all the time because I genuinely like it and use it, so shop the Beam Black Friday sale and get up to 50% off sitewide—the lowest price Dream has ever been. Go to shopbeam.com/wheezywaiter,

scan the QR code on the screen right now. It's sold out before, so the early bird gets the worm, so just get going. Okay, now back to a piece of advice I give pretty often: a gratitude list.

List the things in your life or the people in your life; like, set a limit—limits help all the time—set a limit. Five. Wake up one morning, list five things you're grateful for. Limit it even more: five people.

Five things that are the color red... I don't know. Make that list repeatedly, then you'll just have a bunch of stuff you're grateful for. And because you're grateful for it, that's kind of giving you a reason right there.

It's telling; each of those things is probably telling you a story. Example: I'm grateful for my wife. She buys me coffee mug paintings... probably other reasons. Two: modern camera and microphone technology, which allows me to ramble at you,

combined with the internet, which, despite all its problems, has made my life... so I'm grateful for that. My daughter; her endless learning about the world and observing makes me realize all the things that I've taken for granted

and things that I haven't looked at in the way that she looks at them. Mmm, public water works, which has allowed me to get water whenever I want. I mean, we run it through a filter in our refrigerator,

but so I'm also thankful for my refrigerator so I don't have to go find a lake and boil some water to make it clean enough for me to drink. It gives me an idea for a story about a guy who has to find a lake to drink water,

but then he accidentally drinks poison water, and then he has to find a witch to cure him. And then he falls in love with the witch, and she buys him coffee mug paintings. I'm not saying my wife is a witch,

This is entirely a fictional thing. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with witches. Oh boy, okay, okay, you get the idea. I don't know, through repeatedly doing this over and over again, maybe you will,

it will coalesce into one singular 'why' for the moment, a path, a career path you want to go on, a purpose, maybe not, but I think it'll make you feel better. Another thing you can do—all of these things

involve different ways of observing, by the way. There's this book I highly recommend called "Storyworthy" by a guy named Matthew Dicks. There's this Moth storytelling competition, there's this thing called the Moth Grand Slam.

I think he's won it more times than anyone else. You get up on stage and you just tell a story. He's become a bit of a storytelling expert, and he wrote a whole book about it, and it is great.

But one of the things he says—I don't think it just helps with storytelling, it helps you appreciate your life—is called 'Homework for Life,' not a great name because nobody likes to do homework, but 'Homework for Life.'

He, in fact, did a whole TEDx Talk about it. You really should go watch that video. If you get anything from this video, it's that you should go watch that video. It will help you learn how to observe your own life.

Basically, he says his best stories don't come from big events.  It's the little things, little things that happen in your own life every day that go unnoticed; you have to notice them. At the end of every day, he sits down,

he writes down three story-worthy things that happened to him that day.  An example in the video is him walking his dog when it starts to rain. In the past, he may have been really annoyed and angered by being out in the rain, but in this moment he wasn't.

Instead, he thought about how his dog was 14 years old, getting on in years, and that this may be the last time he's ever caught in the rain with his dog. Oh, I'm getting emotional just saying it.

You can build an entire story around that moment, and in fact, he did. Another similar moment is when he picks up his daughter, who's also getting older, and he realizes he's not going to be able

to hold his daughter very much longer. So every night he sits down, he forces himself to recognize three of those things throughout the day, and as he does this more and more, he gets better at identifying these things throughout his day; he gets better at observing,

and he keeps an Excel sheet of all of them. And then after a while, he just has such a rich tapestry of his own life. He's not finding a purpose or a story for his whole life; he's finding probably thousands.

I've tried Homework for Life from time to time, and I've always loved it, but I haven't kept up with it very much. After doing this video, it's inspiring me to do it more, so I'm going to do it more.

because it's not teaching you to find the grand meaning in your entire life; it's teaching you to find meaning in literally everything. And that's gotta make you feel better when you're doing that, doesn't it? So if you're a young person watching this

trying to figure out your career, I don't know, maybe this won't help you figure that out, but I think it'll make you feel good while you're trying to figure it out, or maybe stop placing so much importance on a few decisions you're making now,

knowing that life is going to change and you can roll with the punches no matter what happens. Because the truth is you have no way of knowing what effect any decision you make now will have later. And also, even if you find your dream career,

it seems like most people experience burnout eventually, no matter what they do. Just keep observing, just keep looking for your 'what's' everywhere, and that's what I got. That's the best advice I can give on this topic,

How to Stop Feeling Stuck

WheezyWaiter

Finding Your Purpose: The Difficulty and the Approach

The speaker discusses the recurring theme of identifying one's purpose in their videos on motivation and achievement.

The speaker acknowledges the difficulty of determining one's purpose and the lack of a simple answer.

The speaker suggests 'observation' as the best advice, arguing that searching for a singular, overarching meaning might be misguided.

The speaker explains that life's complexity and constant change make the idea of a single life purpose unrealistic.

The speaker emphasizes that life is composed of numerous things and experiences, rather than a singular purpose.

The Importance of Stories and Observation

The speaker proposes that the desire for purpose is essentially a craving for a story, and that stories are fundamental to human motivation.

The speaker suggests that finding one's story requires observation and acknowledging the constructed nature of narratives.

The speaker shares a personal anecdote about feeling lost and lacking direction, highlighting the importance of finding a story to overcome this feeling.

The speaker describes a personal experience of observing their surroundings, noting previously unnoticed details and their potential to create stories.

The speaker emphasizes that lacking a sense of purpose often stems from a lack of a story, and that this story might need to be created.

Practical Techniques for Finding Your Story

The speaker recommends actively observing one's surroundings, naming things aloud, and looking in unusual directions to create a story.

The speaker illustrates this technique by listing various objects in their immediate environment.

The speaker suggests that this grounding in reality can help combat excessive introspection about one's purpose.

The speaker mentions alternative methods but first promotes a sponsor.

Alternative Methods: Gratitude Lists and Storytelling Exercises

The speaker suggests keeping a gratitude list as another way to find meaning and build stories.

The speaker provides examples from their own gratitude list, showing how each item can spark a narrative.

The speaker recommends the book "Storyworthy" by Matthew Dicks and his "Homework for Life" exercise.

The speaker describes "Homework for Life" as a daily practice of identifying three story-worthy moments and recording them.

The speaker gives examples from Matthew Dicks's TEDx Talk illustrating the power of finding stories in everyday moments.

Conclusion: Embracing the Ongoing Search for Meaning

The speaker acknowledges that these methods may not provide a definitive career path but can improve one's well-being during the search.

The speaker encourages viewers to reduce the pressure associated with major life decisions.

The speaker points out that even dream careers can lead to burnout, emphasizing the importance of continuous observation and adaptation.

The speaker concludes by reiterating the advice to keep observing and searching for meaning in everyday occurrences.

How to Stop Feeling Stuck

How to Stop Feeling Stuck

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