The Blasphemous Tale of Jesus, Yal Deo, and Apostles

Yal Deo's relentless schemes ultimately corrupt Jesus's message, leading to a distorted legacy that endures today.

### The Blasphemous Saga of Jesus: A Gnostic Retelling
* ⚔ The narrative begins with a warning about the **blasphemous content** and recounts the **rise and fall of the Kingdom of Israel**, leading to **Roman conquest during Jesus's time**.
* 👶 Yal Deo, the antagonist, devises a plan to trick Jesus into thinking he is merely a **prophet**, resulting in King Herod's **massacre of male infants in Bethlehem**, echoing the **Exodus story**.
* 🌊 John the Baptist emerges, preaching baptism for the **repentance of sins**, while Jesus is baptized and reportedly becomes **Divine** as he wanders the desert for **40 days**, resisting **Satan's temptations**.
* 🤔 Following his baptism, Jesus begins his ministry, but his teachings are misunderstood by his apostles, leading to frustration as he finds understanding only in **Mary Magdalene**.
* 🍞 As Jesus prepares for crucifixion, he reveals the true nature of his disciples, indicating they are **possessed by archons**, and chooses Judas to betray him, resulting in Jesus's **eventual death**.
* 👻 After his resurrection, Jesus appears to Mary Magdalene, who attempts to share the news with the apostles, but they remain **skeptical and caught in their own misunderstandings**.
* 📜 The narrative climaxes with a confrontation between Peter and Paul, resulting in both apostles' deaths and the **corruption of Jesus's teachings** by Yal Deo and Satan, leading to the **establishment of a distorted church**.
* ⚰ The retelling ends on a dark note, emphasizing that the **true message of Jesus has been lost and replaced by a false doctrine**, leaving readers with a sense of **disillusionment**.

warning: the following video contains copious amounts of blasphemy. I will not be held responsible for any hurt feelings. Hi. When we last left off, we just finished the Old Testament. Between then and the New Testament, in the time of Jesus, the Kingdom of Israel rose, fell, then got conquered by Rome. So, it's at this point that the Christ finally decides to put an end to Yal Deo and his evil schemes. But Yal Deo has a plan to stop the Christ once and for all, and Yal Deo's plan is that he will trick the incarn of Christ into thinking that he is just another one of Yal Deo's prophets. So, Yalo decides to let the Christ have a mortal body. To do this, he decides to repeat The Exodus Story by having the current King, King Herod, decide to kill all of the male babies, just like Pharaoh did back in Egypt. And so, the king murders all of the children in Bethlehem as Mary and her family flee to Egypt. And that's the story in most

versions. At least there are some Gnostics who didn't even think Jesus was born but instead descended from space. Look up dotism if you want to learn more about that. Anyway, Mary and her family flee to Egypt while the King kills all the newborn boys in Bethlehem. And it's in Egypt where Jesus would spend most of his early childhood before he would return to Nazareth where he would work as a carpenter. While that's all going on, a man named John the Baptist begins his ministry around the Jordan River. And John's Ministry mainly focused on people needing to return to God via baptism, a ritual where you were dunked in the water of the river. He would have two major disciples with him named Simon and Doyus. Eventually, Jesus would join up with John the Baptist and he would also be baptized. According to some Gnostic sects, it was at this moment that the spirit of Christ possessed Jesus and he truly became Divine. And it was after Jesus's baptism that he would wander the desert for 40 days and 40

nights as Jesus leaves to wander the desert. Yalo summons his most loyal archons to the Heavenly Council to prepare for their plan to stop Jesus. They can't just kill him; otherwise, it could escalate into another Book of Enoch style Global incident. So their plan is to simply get Jesus to worship Yalo. So Yalo picks his most loyal and cunning archon to do the job for him, that being Satan or the adversary. Satan had been Yal Deo's right-hand man ever since Sabba Oath decided to switch sides during the whole flood incident. So Satan would go to Jesus and try and convince him to worship Yalo and submit to his will. If Jesus accepted Yalo, then the Christ would be able to rule over the physical world together. So Satan would go to Jesus and try and convince him that the ploma is overrated and that he should want to rule the physical world. Jesus continually rebukes Satan, and after 40 days of trying, Satan ultimately fails, returning to Yalo in defeat. Yal scorn Satan for his failure, but Satan

doesn't give up. He has a plan B. If they can't corrupt Jesus, then they will simply corrupt his message. Shortly after Jesus defeats Satan, he begins his ministry in Galilee and performs all sorts of miracles. Meanwhile, John the Baptist gets thrown into prison and his head gets cut off. His two followers, Simon and Doyus, would argue over who would be the next leader of the sect after John's death. A small group of John's followers decides that both Simon and Doyus are morons and leaves the group. These people are still around today, called the Mandans. Anyway, Simon basically leaves and does his own thing for a while. At one point, he meets a slave woman named Helen of Tyre, and the two of them go on various Gnostic side quests throughout Anatolia, or modern-day Turkey. While Simon and the John the Baptist act are off doing their own thing, Jesus's ministry is going horribly wrong. His followers, while good-natured, don't understand his message. First, he tries explaining it bluntly. They don't understand it. Then he

tries using metaphors or parables to explain it. They still don't get it. One of his followers, Peter, is so dumb that he's given the nickname of the rock, as in dumb as a rock. As Jesus's 12 apostles were testing the limits of his patience, he finally meets someone who understands what he's talking about, a woman named Mary Magdalene. And after raising her brother from the dead, the two of them become very close. Anyway, Jesus would finally start to get some headway as various female followers started to understand what he was talking about. Unfortunately, the 12 male apostles were stuck on the first parable. Things would go from bad to worse for Jesus as he receives a vision that he will soon be killed. So, Jesus prepares for his crucifixion and tries to tell his brother James one final time about the archons, yal deth, and the Poma. But James still doesn't get it, and Jesus decides to give up and just simply tells him to listen to the women after he's

crucified a few days later. Jesus would prepare a final supper with his 12 disciples, and then Jesus asks his disciples who do they think Jesus really is. Judas is the only one to answer correctly, and Jesus pulls Judas aside and explains once again all of the lore. After Jesus finishes giving this exposition dump to Judas, he tells Judas that there's good news and bad news. The good news is that Judas's name will forever be remembered throughout all of human history. The bad news is that his name will live in infamy because Jesus has chosen Judas to be the one to turn over Jesus to the authorities to be crucified. Because here comes the plot twist, the 12 disciples are in fact possessed by the archons. Jesus calls Judas the 13th archon, which would be Yalo himself, revealing that Jesus knew that all along. Yalo had been planning to corrupt his message. He simply mocks the Yalo-possessed Judas, telling him that killing

him won't work. So, the next day, Judas, possessed by Al Deo, turned Jesus into the authorities, and Jesus is then crucified. As Jesus is dying one of the most painful deaths, you can yalo, and the 12 leave the city to celebrate the death of Jesus and the Victory of the archons. Since yth doesn't need Judas anymore, he leaves Judas, and Judas, now fully aware of what he's done, takes his own life. Back at the cross, Jesus's true followers, the women, can only watch in horror as he dies. Jesus would be buried, but then 3 Days Later, Jesus's tomb would be found empty, and Jesus would appear before Mary Magdalene, giving her one final lesson before he tells her to gather all of his followers together for one final message. Mary then goes to Peter and tells him that Jesus has come back to life, but Peter, still being under the influence of the 12th archon, Satan, doesn't believe her. But he decides to gather all of the disciples just in case, and it's then

that Jesus appears before all of them and gives them one final Q&A session before ascending to heaven. The archons are then forced out of the Apostles' bodies, free from their influence. The TW start freaking out because if Jesus was killed, so will they. Then Mary Magdalene gives everyone a big pep talk and then explains what Jesus told her shortly after he resurrected. Basically, when you die, you ascend through multiple layers of heaven and you have to shut off the various shells of your ego, things like lust and greed for example. Otherwise, you'll never be able to get through, and it's only once you've shed off your bodily desires can you return to the pleroma from which you came. And this is how you are saved, not by worshiping Y. Too Peter says that that is the stupidest thing he's ever heard and that Mary must have been having another bout of her womanly hysteria. Levi and Thomas tell Peter to stop acting like an incel, and this leads to a schism among Jesus's followers or

At least it would have. Unfortunately, Mary Magdalene just straight up disappears from both biblical narratives and history at this point, so we have no idea what happens to her. So, with Mary's mysterious disappearance, Peter and James are left in charge. So, how do they handle spreading the gospel? Well, they immediately go back to worshiping Yalo. And since Yal Deo has the followers of Jesus under his control and he's pissed, he asks Satan, who still has influence over Peter, what to do. And Satan comes up with an idea that would lead to as much suffering as possible: Christian proto-communism. With Yal Deo's help, Peter abolishes the concept of property in his Christian community. And as people begin to convert to Peter's cult in Jerusalem, he forces them to give up all of their property to be distributed by the apostles. At one point, a married couple, the husband named Annias and the wife Safira, tried to keep some of their money. So, Peter has Yal the Ba SM them. Meanwhile, within the

ploma. Jesus is seeing all of this and decides to put his plan B into action and gives a vision to his old-time pal from the John the Baptist days, Simon. One day, while on his way to prelati, Simon meets a small child and asks for directions to Jerusalem. The child, who is actually the accompanying Spirit in disguise, reveals that Simon is blessed and has been called to Jerusalem to meet his fellow Apostles, and that he needs to get the other Apostles to stop being cringey communists and stop yal de be in the ark cons. But before Simon can respond, Sophia appears and lifts him up through the various layers of Heaven. While in the fourth Heaven, Simon sees angelic-like beings. These beings bring a soul from the realm of the dead and whip it. The soul asks why they are doing this, and these beings explain that the soul is full of envy and wrath, and that it's the soul of a murderer. And so these beings rip the soul apart and is then placed into a new

body. Simon then proceeds through the other layers of Heaven all the way up to the seventh heaven. While there, he encounters Jesus, who has a throne that surpasses the sun's brightness by sevenfold. Jesus then tells Simon that he needs to set the apostles straight and then gives him a vision of the 12 so he knows what they look like. Jesus then gives Simon the name Paul, and Paul is allowed to see the 10th Heaven, which is the ploma. Paul is then returned to his body and goes to meet with the apostles in Jerusalem. So, Paul meets with Peter and the other Apostles in Jerusalem, and because centralized planning never works and that Peter is an idiot, everyone is starving. So, Paul asks Peter if he can help their organization. Peter agrees on the condition that Paul gives him a bunch of money. Luckily for Paul, during the life of Jesus, he had already done a whole bunch of side quests and had a whole bunch of money saved up, and so he's able to buy Peter off. So, Paul is able to

become an apostle on par with Peter and starts preaching about the Sophia and Yal Deo Laor and that the people should stop following the Torah because it was written by a false god. This alerts Peter to the fact that he's been tricked. So, Peter and Paul would have multiple back-and-forth confrontations, the most notable time being that Peter wouldn't eat with non-Jews because it's not Kosher. The two of them would have bad blood throughout the rest of their lives, and Paul would eventually give up on trying to save Peter and instead focus on preaching the gospel to the people of Rome. While Paul was off preaching the gospel, Peter would continue to see and meet back in Jerusalem. James, the brother of Jesus, tries to calm Peter down, but Peter is still mad at Paul. Then Jesus appears before both of them in a vision. Jesus then tells Peter and James that they need to once again be filled with the Holy Spirit. Peter asks Jesus why they need to be filled when they should have

already been filled while he was alive. Jesus explains that simply being baptized and getting the Holy Spirit isn't enough; you have to actually be a good person. He encourages them to be filled with the spirit once again. James then asks for help to not be tempted by Satan, and Jesus responds by saying that if they are oppressed and persecuted but still do the father's will, they will be loved and considered equals. Jesus urges them not to fear suffering and reminds them of his own crucifixion. Jesus also tells them to not fear death and that the kingdom of God belongs to those who believe in his cross. James asks Jesus if they can have the power to see the future, and Jesus replies that the head of Prophecy was cut off with John the Baptist. James asks what he means by this, and Jesus explains that the power of Prophecy comes from the head, and when the head of John the Baptist was removed, so too did everyone lose the power of Prophecy. He tells them to not get drunk.

not go astray and to trust them and actually preach his words rather than those twisted by yalo and Satan. Peter gets even more frustrated and says that Jesus keeps contradicting himself. Jesus reminds them that they have received blessings through faith and knowledge and that everyone should get along. After this, Jesus leaves Peter and James alone. Unfortunately, Peter doesn't understand what Jesus meant by this and simply gets more angry now than he was before. Was enough. Peter would then challenge Paul to a final climactic showdown, which would take place in the Roman Coliseum before the emperor of Rome, Nero. They would each perform miracles more ridiculous than the last. Paul's final miracle was to fly into the air. Peter responded by having yal Deo strike Paul down. Paul dies from the impact. Peter then declares that he is the true voice of God and then proceeds to have himself crucified upside down so that he could come back to life in three days. And he does it upside down to prove that he is better than Jesus. This

expectedly doesn't work, and Peter is also killed. After their deaths, Paul's Soul would rise to the ploma, while Peter would go before yalo, expecting to be risen from the dead. yalo Peter that Jesus's resurrection was a spiritual one and not a physical one. yel de beo then has his archons RI Peter's Soul apart with both Peter and Paul dead. yal Deo and Satan were free to corrupt the message of Jesus and convince the world that Jesus was a part of some nonsensical Triune godhead, with yalo as the centerpiece. And yal deo's false Church continues to this very day and is still being Guided by Satan. The end. What were you expecting? A happy ending?

The New Testament But Its Gnostic

Parry Megistus

The Conflict Between Yal Deo and the Christ

Yal Deo attempts to thwart the Christ's mission by using King Herod to kill all male babies in Bethlehem, mirroring Pharaoh's actions in Egypt.

Jesus spends his early childhood in Egypt before returning to Nazareth and joining John the Baptist, who is baptizing people to return to God.

After Jesus's baptism, Yal Deo's archons, led by Satan, try to tempt Jesus into worshiping him, but Jesus rebukes them, leading to Satan's ultimate failure.

Jesus faces challenges in his ministry after defeating Satan, with his followers struggling to understand his message.

John the Baptist's death leads to a split among his followers, while Simon and Doyus go their separate ways.

Jesus's efforts to explain his teachings are met with confusion, but he eventually finds support from Mary Magdalene and other female followers.

Judas, possessed by Al Deo, betrays Jesus, leading to his crucifixion.

After Jesus' death, Judas, realizing his actions, takes his own life.

Jesus' tomb is found empty three days later, and he appears to Mary Magdalene, giving her a final lesson before ascending to heaven, while Peter and James take charge of spreading the gospel.

Simon's Divine Mission: The Transformation to Paul

Jesus, witnessing the Apostles' struggles, gives Simon a vision and reveals his calling to Jerusalem.

Simon's journey through the layers of Heaven leads him to Jesus, who names him Paul and shows him the 10th Heaven.

Paul returns to Jerusalem, offers to help Peter and the other Apostles, and uses his saved money to support their organization.

Peter and Paul's Conflict: A Struggle for Faith

Paul begins preaching against the Torah, claiming it was written by a false god, which angers Peter and leads to ongoing confrontations.

Despite Peter's attempts to calm down, their relationship remains strained, and Paul eventually focuses on preaching in Rome.

Jesus appears to Peter and James in a vision, urging them to be filled with the Holy Spirit again and reassuring them that doing the Father's will amidst suffering will lead to love and equality.

Peter becomes frustrated with Jesus' contradictions and struggles to understand his message.

The tension escalates to a showdown between Peter and Paul in the Roman Coliseum, culminating in Paul's death and Peter's failed attempt to prove his superiority.

After their deaths, Peter and Paul's souls are separated, allowing yalo and Satan to corrupt Jesus' message and establish a false Church.