hey everybody, it's Andy Atkinson with Queen Being Calm. Today, we're going to discuss how and why you need to stop being so pissed off all the time. Are you ready? Let's do it. Like I said, my name is Angela Atkinson. You probably call me Angie. I am a certified life coach and author and a survivor. You can get free resources for survivors of narcissistic abuse in relationships at Queen Being Calm. You can get my books at booksangiewrote.com. I have about 20 of them there. And if you visit narcissismsupportcoach.com, you can get personalized narcissistic abuse recovery coaching. Plus, right now I have a free five-day email course on the front page of the site that I designed specifically for narcissistic abuse survivors. All right, well, let's do this. So we all know that narcissists can be very infuriating, to say, you know, the very least. And if you're stuck in any sort of relationship with one, well, you'll go through a myriad of emotions.

on a regular basis, a toxic relationship is often a roller coaster ride of, you know, emotional highs and lows. And I'm talking about the highest of the highs. I mean, because, you know what, when it's good, it is so good. And when it is bad, you want to die, literally want to die sometimes. Okay, today I am actually making this video specifically for one of my viewers who sent me an email. And in the email I just, I just received it this morning. She said to me that she was feeling just a lot of rage about a narcissistic person that she is being forced to deal with on a regular basis. Now, in this case, the narcissist is a female. And I don't want to go into details on the relationship because I want to keep my viewer's information confidential. But let me just tell you that I completely understand why she feels the way she feels. And sister, if you're listening, let me tell you, I feel you. I feel you. I feel you. So with that being said, I'm going to talk about all this today. Okay, so let's

go ahead and dig right in. So, we're gonna start with a few simple questions today. I want you to ask yourself, do you feel like you spend a lot of time being angry, resentful, or irritable? Do you feel, you know, annoyed a lot? Do you think that it's related to the people in your life, such as the narcissist, or is it something that's coming from inside yourself? And how do you think that you handle it? And in that way, I want you to just kind of start thinking about those as we move forward through this video, okay? So, I want to start by telling you that if you feel angry more often than you really want to, you're probably looking for a good way to manage it, right? I know I am. And the thing is, I actually made another video about anger a while back, and, you know, it is very, first of all, I just want to say, it's very natural. At some point during your narcissistic abuse, you're going to feel great. You just are, because, you know, if

you haven't already, you will, because at some point, you're gonna realize whether a lot of times the rage happens early in the beginning, until the abuse really kicks in full force, and then sometimes people lose the ability to even be angry. But if you are angry and you're experiencing narcissistic abuse, I want you to go over to my YouTube channel and watch the video about when anger is useful and when to let it go, because that is something that is also very important and something that, you know, sometimes anger can be used to propel you forward, and other times it's more like toxic and poison to you. So, you know, like anything, there's excess in any area of your life is never good. Anger is especially true because not only does it affect you physically, mentally, but it affects you physically. Alright, anyway, like I always say, understanding your problem, whatever it is or any situation, is the first step to managing it, or handling it, or dealing with it, right? So, we're gonna

start there. Let me just tell you this first. Anger does not make you bad. Just know that, okay? The first thing you need to know: you're not weird or horrible, okay? Anger is a normal human reaction to things like injustice, poor treatment of yourself and others, and a whole bunch of other stuff. Okay? It's just something that, you know, it's not good or bad. And like, I've got this quote here from help guide org: It's perfectly healthy and normal to feel angry when you've been mistreated or wronged, and the feeling isn't the problem. It is what you do with it that makes a difference. Anger becomes a problem when it harms you or others. Okay? And in the case of a narcissistic relationship, the anger that you feel is only hurting you because the narcissist loves it, loves it, and loves it. It is pure supply for him, whether, you know, if he's able to get you flustered and angry, make you cry, make you scream, make you

throw things. Oh my gosh, that is just like his birthday every day, you know what I'm saying, or her birthday, because again, I just want you to remember that in this video, I'm specifically, you know, I specifically am making this video for someone who was dealing with a female narcissist, and I know that a lot of my male viewers have said, Hey, why do you talk about this in the sense of, you know, why do you say he instead of he or she or they? And the thing is, I can't always, you know, use he or she or they because it feels unnatural to me, and I like to be really straight with you guys and just say what's, what's real to me. Now, and the fact is, my first narcissist was a female family member, and so I do absolutely know that there are so many female narcissists. I just want to put that out there because I don't want anyone to think that I'm anti-men because I'm certainly not. I have two sons of my own who I love dearly as well.

as a daughter, who I love dearly, and anybody who has sons, cannot be anti-male. All right, at least not a good parent anyway. Moving on. All right, so do you feel like your anger is unhealthy? Do you think that you might have narcissistic rage of your own? You know, I know a lot of people who are dealing with narcissists find themselves feeling like they are becoming a narcissist. I just addressed this in a video the other day, but you know, just think about that possibility anyway. The bottom line is you have to let the anger out a lot of times, and especially when we're in a difficult relationship with someone, you know, a narcissistic one or a toxic one. We hold our tongues when we have anger. Sometimes we do this because we just, we realize we're not being illogical, but other times we do it because we're trying to avoid confrontation or upset in a relationship. This is especially the case with a toxic relationship because narcissists have this way of forcing you into submission.

and that means, you know, eventually you may even stop being angry because you're just so freakin' tired and exhausted emotionally and mentally from trying to make someone understand you who really will not - whether he chooses or she chooses - or not, you know, depending now, in the case of the viewer who sent me the email, you know, her situation is a little different because she doesn't, thankfully, live directly with the person, the woman that she's dealing with, but the woman is someone who she has to deal with on a regular basis, and she's pulling the wool over other people's eyes. This is a very common thing, so unfortunately, in this Miss case, this woman's husband has become sort of a flying monkey for this person without even realizing it, and that is something that maybe he needs to know, alright? So anyway, moving on, you know, we don't, we don't want to have that confrontation, that's who we are, but you know, sometimes people just want to make you feel crazy, and you and I both know narcissists are

like that if you think you're dealing with someone who intentionally creates chaos for you, maybe you are dealing with a narcissist. If you visit Queen being calm, you can find out the top ten warning signs of narcissism in a relationship as well. And actually, I just made a video on this the other day too, so check that out at my YouTube channel. All right, moving on. So, when it comes to anger, you know, listen, it can literally almost eat you alive. Okay, not literally, but almost literally because it does physically affect you so much. And I don't know about y'all, but when I was stuck in those narcissistic, you know, relationships, those toxic people, oh my gosh, I, I would push down any feelings that I had. I would just swallow them. And you know what? What happens when you do that is that you eventually, it comes out one way or another. In my case, I started wearing my pain. I ended up gaining a hundred pounds and walking around and five feet tall. And you know a

lot oh I got 250 pounds it was outrageous. I did lose a hundred pounds five years ago, and I've kept it off ever since. If you're interested in knowing about that, you can check out Project Blissful like when being calm. There are actually books on Project Blissful at books and zero calm, but that's irrelevant. Let's move on. Alright, um, but you can see before and after pictures is what I was trying to tell you. Also, if you go to Queen being calm and you look at the how to lose a hundred pounds page, you'll see a little video that I did. Oh, that video, I guess, would still be on my YouTube channel as well. It's kind of an old one, but it shows the transformation. Okay, I did not mean to get off topic. I'm sorry about that. So my point is that you have to express your anger or it will manifest in some other way, whether it's physically or you have a nervous breakdown, or you just absolutely lose the ability to feel and think on your

own through like a disassociation types symptom. Okay, but if you don't have a trusted friend or family member you can turn to, there are plenty of safe ways you can release your anger, you know, like joining a support group, finding a therapist or a coach, or even journaling or blogging about your issues. Let me just stop, pause, and say really quickly, I have a support group on Facebook called SPAN Support for people affected by narcissism and relationships. Visit queenbeing.com/span and you can join for free. Okay, and it's a very active, amazing group, you will love it. Moving on, okay, so one thing I want you to avoid, do not post your drama on public on social media accounts. Okay, now this sounds really so silly and a lot of people, depending on what generation you're in, you may just naturally be one of those people that shares your issues with the world. I'll tell you, if you're a young person, you might want to avoid that because at some point in your life, you may want a job that, you know, is a

professional type job, or who knows, you might want to run for president. But you know, posting on social media now with drama can ruin your life later. That's just a little public service announcement for you. But regarding narcissists, again, when you feed them that kind of drama, they freakin love it. And they will egg it on, and they will push it, and they will get the whole world turned against you, or at least in their mind. Okay, now this is obviously, like I said, leads to trouble, additional stuff. So the best thing that you can do here to deal with this is to look outside your own head and the anger that's like sort of trapping you in there, right, and gain some new perspective. So of course, it's important to express your anger, like I said, but it's also important to do so in a healthy and productive way. So if you scream at your kid for an hour, doesn't really do anything to benefit your relationship, doesn't really do anything to make the kid feel better or do better.

or stop behaving a certain way. I think we both know that it just makes your kid not like you anymore. You know, now screaming at someone is not a productive way to deal with anger. So if arguing with your spouse brings out your inner mean girl, makes you say the most hurtful things you can think of, or mean guy, you know, maybe you need to come up with a better way to cope with your anger. And I think a lot of times, in narcissists are the ones who I'm talking to here, but you know, because of what we deal with when we're dealing with a narcissist, we also often become a little bit mean, especially for a strong person by Nature, you know, if we're not me, and then we're crying. It's a you know, it depends what it is, anyway. So my point is though, you know, there's there are better ways. So even when you get over it, you know, your spouse or whoever you're yelling and screaming at isn't going to be able to forget the things

you said, even if they forgive you, they're always gonna remember that you said that main thing, they hurt their feelings, right? So, this is just another way that you damage your relationships. And I'm just, in that case, I was just using the spouse as an example. I know some of you are dealing with narcissistic spouses or ex-spouses, and I'm not saying that you should do any special sort of, you know, forgiveness for them necessarily. But, you know, like I said in yesterday's video, you do need to forgive them, even if you never tell them, because eventually, if the anger will kill you and not them. Okay, so let's talk about these facts from health help guide org. So, like I said, out of control anger hurts your physical health. Constantly operating at high levels of stress intention is bad for your health. Chronic anger makes you susceptible to heart disease, diabetes, high cholesterol levels, a weakened immune system, insomnia, and high blood pressure. And that's just the freaking beginning, you know. Remember I told you I gained a hundred pounds.

myself and I did a little, you know, a little informal study with some members of, you know, some of my QueenBeing.com readers and some members of the SPAN group. And what I have discovered is that a lot of people have weight problems when they're dealing with narcissistic abuse. It's a very common thing, okay? Out-of-control anger hurts your mental health. Chronic anger consumes huge amounts of mental energy and clouds our thinking, making it harder to concentrate, harder to see the bigger picture, and even harder to enjoy life. You know, it leads to stress that leads to depression and other mental health problems. Again, you know, those things also affect you physically. And you know, as people who have been affected by narcissistic abuse, we also have the situation with PTSD and C-PTSD to worry about, right? And there are a lot of symptoms that go along with that, some of which become physical. All right, out-of-control anger hurts your career, so your job. Constructive criticism, creative differences, and heated debate can be healthy, but lashing out only

alienate your colleagues, or supervisors, or clients, and you know, erodes that respect. Of course, what's more, is that a bad reputation can follow you wherever you go, making it harder and harder to get ahead. Out-of-control anger hurts your relationships with others. We all know this, and we see it in the narcissists every single day. You know, it causes lasting scars to the people that you love the most, and it gets in the way of your friendships and work relationships. So, if you're dealing with a lot of anger right, I want you to just take a step back, and I want you to look around yourself, and I want you to remember how do you feel or how did you feel when the narcissist would just, you know, go into a rage and attack you. How does that feel? You, well, you know, chronic intense anger makes it hard for other people to trust you because you've been there, you know, it makes it hard for people to speak to you honestly or even feel comfortable around you, so they don't know what will

set you off or what you will do and and please don't don't forget that you know explosive anger is especially damaging to children and I'm not just talking physically. I'm talking on a lifelong emotional level. You know they joke you know about you know oh my kids will end up in therapy but they will if you're constantly angry at your children. You're constantly exploding at them. It is going to be a problem in their future okay whether they take it on in the respect of becoming angry themselves or they become people pleasers. You're damaging your children if you're focusing a lot of your anger on them or even sharing it near them too much on an explosive level. So keep it together all right and I mean that in the most loving way possible. I hope you know that I am I am a human being just like you and I have to struggle with things like this too and that's why I talk about these things because everybody struggles with anger. Everybody wants to scream.

sometimes but when we learn how to deal with this stuff in a healthy way, you know, we are taking the next step toward becoming the best possible versions of ourselves. And quite honestly, y'all, this is what I am all about. I've always been all about trying to become the best possible version of me, and I believe that all of us have a best possible self, and that self is defined by ourselves. And anyway, I'm getting off topic, but let's get, let's get to it. What makes us feel angry, let's talk about that. You know, if you feel angry, like, does it manifest as a feeling of just being kind of irritated and annoyed, and you don't know what's going on, because I know personally, I struggled with feeling that way, feeling like I was very struggling, very angry, and very upset, but I didn't know why. I felt irritated, on edge. If anybody talked to me, I felt upset, you know, this is common for people who are dealing with or, you know, narcissistic abuse and

even going through recovery again. Check out that article Are You Being Gaslighted? 10 Things You Need to Know if You Live with a Narcissistic Queen. Being calm, that will be really helpful for you. Anger, no anger, and irritability obviously can be a very serious challenge, but understanding the cause of those things can help you to find a solution that will bring you relief. So, you've got to begin to look by loving yourself enough to want to feel better and to improve your relationships, right? And I know that sounds stupid, but as you move forward, you're gonna really want to try to sort of fall in love with who you are and love yourself in the same kind of way that almost as a mother loves her child. Well, a healthy mother who loves her child, you want to feel toward yourself as protective and loving as you would toward your child, okay? That's very hard to get used to, but it's also something that is just absolutely necessary because a lot of us who are dealing with nurse

Cystic abuse in one way or another have had weird parent issues right, and so you often have to sort of begin by repenting yourself. You know when we struggle with our own parents and the way that we are raised by them, you know, whether we're abused by them or when they neglect or ignore it or whatever, we often end up with narcissists because we think we can fix people when they're broken, etc. And whatever the parents often can cause you to have a lot of confusion about love and relationships. So let's talk about some dynamics of anger. We become more angry when we are stressed and body resources are down, okay? So we are rarely ever angry for the reasons we actually think we are, right? So we're often angry when we didn't get what we needed as a child, like I was just saying, and we often become angry when we see a trait in others that we can't stand in ourselves. Though this is an interesting one, you guys. Sometimes I, you know, I would feel toward people, you know,

didn't like that you know somebody. I don't know somebody was this way or that way, and then I would look, and I would say, Oh, you know, maybe I thought somebody was lazy, and then I thought, Well, I looked around myself, I'm kind of lazy, you know? So when we begin to point things out in people that we don't like about them, sometimes we just need to look at ourselves like, Oh, maybe this has to do with us. And if you want to see an example of this, look at any narcissist that you know in your life and remember how they often project their own terrible qualities onto their victims, right? So like in my case, my narcissist would tell me that I only cared about myself or that, you know, it was always all about me, and that was never the case, that was always the case with that narcissist. So it's very interesting, you know, that's just an example of how you can kind of take a look at that. So under many current angers, right, and many

issues that you have right now are you know you really they're really related to old disappointments traumas and triggers and this is again especially the case when we've gone through this narcissistic abuse crap you know again sometimes we get angry because we were hurt as a child we get angry because we bring up you know we get angry when a current event even brings up old resolved stuff from our past like for example there's a song and I can't even remember the name of name of this song but in this song it's like some hard really really hard rock song and and I'm if you think of it and you know it please leave it in the comments I can't think of it what it's called but in the second in one part of the song this man is screaming please mommy don't beat me again bla bla something like that and I tell you what the first time I heard it it really really triggered me and I did not like it so it did it made me cry at

first and then I got angry, and it was stupid, and I read, you know, but, but it's, that's what happens about triggers, right? So got all of that, you know, sometimes we feel strong emotions when our situations are similar to what we've helped felt before, like if you're fighting, you know, if you're arguing with someone, say, you know, say a narcissist that is in your life now, and they say to you, Look what you made me do, or Look how you're making me act, you know, you might think back to when you were a child and your mother punched you in the face, and, and you know, stuff, Look what you made me do when the blood was all over the carpet, or whatever, you know, something to think about. So yeah, that was from get your anger ease out. So anyway, here are some of the most common causes of anger: low blood sugar, and believe it or not, hypoglycemia, also known as low blood sugar, can make adults and children irritable. Low blood sugar levels can be caused by diabetes medications.

stressed, so yeah. In addition, forgetting to eat or not eating enough food can cause trigger the issue. So, you know, as you're going through your recovery, make sure you're eating, you know, your three squares a day or five squares a day or whatever you choose to do. I kind of like, yeah, I kind of like to do five small meals if I can, or you know, three small meals and two snacks or something like that, but it just kind of helps keep your metabolism up. Make sure you're getting enough protein and fiber in your diet as well, and of course, drink enough water. Okay, you can raise your blood sugar low blood sugar level back up by eating carbohydrates or taking medications. I suggest you try to do this without taking medication, but if you do need medication, please, I mean, look, don't listen to anything I say as far as medical health goes, okay, because I'm not a doctor, but in my own experience, I find that I prefer not to have to take medication if I can avoid it, but if you are in a

position that you think you might need it, please get in touch with your doctor and talk about it. Otherwise, just focus on eating as healthy as you can, or at least, you know, making sure you get enough protein, and vitamins, and fiber, and water in your diet. Okay, speaking of water, hydration can change your mood very quickly, as we all know, and it can make you frustrated. You know, it affects your body and your mind, and even cases of mild dehydration can lead to mood swings and irritability. So, it's obviously, stay hydrated, and it can help resolve that issue. Stress, as we all know, can make you feel angry, frustrated, and upset, and when we're dealing with narcissist stress, it's a huge deal, a huge part of what we're dealing with. So, practice regular stress-relieving activities like yoga or meditation to keep the stress from building up. You know, if you can get out and take a walk or run, or you know, do some push-ups, or just breathe. You know, I like to meditate by walking. I can't stand to sit still.

for too long, and I find that if I put on my headphones and I pace around, or I walk around the block, and I just, just focus on what I'm listening to and nothing else, or focus on clearing my head, I am really, not only does that help me for meditation, but that's a really great way for me to get ideas for just, you know, things like these videos for you, and my writing stuff, and all that, excuse me, and all of that. So, all right, anxiety disorders, irritability can be a sign of an anxiety disorder, and I don't know if it's an officially diagnosed disorder, but narcissistic abuse syndrome is a real thing, and I'm going to make a video on that in the future anyway, but if you think that you're dealing with an anxiety disorder, talk to your doctor, you know, because a lot of times they can actually give you something to just kind of get you through, but you know, also look at natural ways that you can alleviate anxiety through different techniques and stuff, one of the ones

that I use personally is very very simple. So it's called the four point thing, you know. So you know, look at any object or even the walls in your home, and look at each corner of it. Four corners, right? And focus: one, two, three, four. Look at each corner: one, two, three, four. And you know, in a little square, you can even do it with your computer screen. Okay, anyway, the point is that by doing this, it actually causes your mind to refocus just long enough to give you the ability to think a little straighter. So if you're dealing with anxiety, that's a really good man. And also visit Queen Being Calm. I've got a lot of information on anxiety relief there as well as in my YouTube on my YouTube channel. Okay, again, we talked about this earlier: PTSD and C-PTSD. This is another common issue that has irritability as a symptom. And as we've talked about repeatedly, victims of narcissists in toxic relationships very often experience this kind of stuff: post-traumatic stress disorder.

complex post-traumatic stress disorder. Learn more about that stuff at quimbee.com. And I think I've still got a video on that on my YouTube channel. Alzheimer's disease is another thing. Now, again, this is not necessarily going to affect our younger viewers, but you might see this in a parent or if you're in, you know, if you're someone who's a more mature viewer, you might find that your spouse or your coworker or whatever. Anyway, somebody might have Alzheimer's disease. You hopefully are not struggling with that, but if you are, it's really important that you see your doctor because, you know, there are so many new treatments these days that you would be surprised at what could help and how much. But personality changes are a large component of that disorder, so patients do often have serious mood swings. And if you've dealt with that, it's very difficult and it's painful for both you as the person suffering and for your people in your life. So, but now like

I said they've got so many new treatments out there that can help, so just try, try to work on that. And then again, I'm not a doctor, but I have long touted the benefits of coconut oil. I just go to my local Aldi store, which is like a discount store grocery store in my area, and I think in all over the United States, maybe anyway. But Aldi has non-organic, I'm sorry, organic, it's organic coconut oil that is cold-pressed and it's not, it's unrefined, that's what you want, organic cold-pressed unrefined. I like to put it in my coffee in the morning, but anyway, it's supposed, it has helped me with a number of issues. I never get sick anymore, I, you know, everything's great. But, but it also supposedly has the, the ability to stop or slow the progression of Alzheimer's. So, my, talk to your doctor about it. Again, like I said, I am NOT a medical professional, I am only a certified life coach, okay, hormonal changes caused a lot of anger.

for people as our bodies age hormones change and shift, and both men and women do experience hormonal changes. Of course, this issue is more frequently seen in women because of good old freaking menopause and pre-menopause, which do create mood swings and often feelings of frustration. Of course, all of us know about PMS, right? Premenstrual syndrome. It's another culprit that can cause irritability. But you know, just like anything else, if you know that you're dealing with the problem, you can work to solve the problem, educate yourself. That's like my whole thing. Whatever the issue is, whether it's narcissism or hormones or aging or whatever it is, weight loss, educate yourself. Once you educate yourself, you can always begin to solve the problem. When you know what you're dealing with, you know you are 100% more equipped to solve the issue than when you don't. Let me just say this too: don't just accept your fate. Find out what options are available to you.

regarding hormone management, you might be surprised when you consult with your doctor about various treatments for hormonal changes, which could include natural remedies, supplements, medications, and lifestyle changes. It might not be as serious as you think. Hyperthyroidism, thyroid issues, can cause feelings of irritability among other symptoms. A thyroid that isn't working properly can make you feel angry, frustrated, nervous, and anxious. Thyroid disease does have a large impact on your mood, and it can affect your mind. Another one, caffeine withdrawal. If you decide to stop drinking coffee or eliminate other sources of caffeine, then you need to be prepared for the symptoms of withdrawal. So, one of the most common symptoms is, guess what, irritability. Don't be crazy and stop drinking coffee, but I'm just kidding. If your doctor tells you to not drink coffee, you're gonna have to be prepared to deal with it. And if you're just out of coffee, get your ass to the store and handle it, okay? Can you tell I'm addicted to caffeine? Whatever, I'm human. It's okay. It's real.

trust me, caffeine addiction is real. To avoid the feelings of irritation and frustration if you have to reduce your, you know, reduce or eliminate caffeine in your life for your health. You know when you're do it, but you might want to do it slowly if your doctor gives you the BOK to do that. Again, always check with your doctor. Don't listen to me about your health. I am only telling you my experience. Depression, although it's not a symptom that is often caused, you know, that it's not a symptom often associated with this, you know, the disorder of, you know, anger and excessive anger and explosive anger, it actually is, believe it or not, a sign of depression. So, it's irritability and unexpected ancient anger are a sign of depression and in other symptoms like sadness and withdrawal are more common but irritability is sometimes our way of for those of us who don't want anyone to feel sorry for us, fun fit for sad we try to, you know, keep smiling and do what we do but sometimes when we're in a

position where we just are you know pushed into the corner. You know we may lash out because we don't know how else to react, right? It's human, you know. If you do it, just apologize and move forward. So did you know that irritability is more frequently seen as a symptom of depression in teenagers and young children? They might have trouble expressing themselves, and so their frustration levels get higher. As a parent, I will tell you that if you are in a narcissistic relationship with, you know, like a spouse or a partner, and you have children involved, you need to take a close look at those kids, and you need to do what you can to help them, because even if you can't directly see their problems, you can look a little closer, and you can look outside of yourself, and you can see that they may also need help with, you know, some counseling or some, you know, depression help, or even coaching, depending on their age. Be aware, okay? Researchers have documented cases in children and teenagers that reveal

that they may have or they may not have actual sadness as a symptom. A lot of times they try to express their depression through anger and irritability, you know, and it's important to discuss those symptoms with your doctor, like I said, and get some help. You know, here's an example. I was a very angry little teenager, let me tell you, and I went through the whole I'm gonna wear black all the time thing, and I'm gonna dye my hair crazy colors, and I'm gonna, you know, be angry at the world. And I thought that's, you know, who I was, and I wasn't. I just, I was, I was mad. I was dealing with a lot of crap in my, you know, my home life, and it caused me to act out in the only way that was really safe for me to do at that time, which was to appear to be a certain type of person, an angry person, I guess. So, like I said before, knowledge is power. I say it all the time. And you know what, my friend, you

deserve to be powerful. Remember that anger and irritability are optional, and they do not have to control your life. I want you to remember that you are the one that gets to decide how you feel. So if somebody acts a certain way to you, you can decide to get mad or not. You can decide to laugh at them and walk away and feel amazing. And I promise you, that'll piss them right off. And you know, then they can have the anger they're trying to inflict on you. I don't know if that's the best way to go, but there it is. The point is you have to take care of yourself. You get to make the choices in your life. You can't change anyone but yourself, but you can change your perspective. And listen, friend, that means you can change your whole freakin' life. Okay, alright. Now that you have a clearer understanding of anger, the causes of anger, as well as how you can manage it, you are empowered and you can make the choices you want to make to improve your health and your

life your life your family. Next time you feel anger, I want you to ask yourself this question: is this anger justified? Do I really should I feel angry right now? And if it is, I want you to ask yourself, is it helping me to improve my own life or anyone else's life? Personally, my litmus test is simple: it's either helping to the situation or it isn't. If it's not justified, it's not always productive. So do not bring any negative, any additional negative energy to yourself. Let me ask you a question: what do you think? What are your top anger management tools? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments and let me know. Let's talk about it. What do you do when you're pissed off? How do you handle it? What do you do when you know your narcissist causes you to feel rage? How do you handle it? What can people do to handle it better? Any advice you share in the comments can really help someone who has suffered as well. I would really

appreciate it if you would take a moment and let us know what works for you. What doesn't, alright? Don't forget before I close out today, don't forget to visit Queen be calm for free tools, tips, and resources for dealing with narcissistic abuse recovery. And remember, you can also visit a narcissist and support coach calm for that free five-day email course I designed specifically for narcissistic abuse survivors. And check out my books at Books & 0 calm. And as I mentioned earlier today in this video, be 100 pounds I lost is fully documented in those books, as well as I think there are six or seven of them that are directly related to narcissism and narcissistic abuse recovery. So check that out. And if you're looking for a private one-on-one coaching, I'm really excited that I have a new office manager, Hayley Smith, and you can reach out to her at office MGR Hayley bliss fire media at gmail.com. Or if that's too much to remember, just shoot me an email at ang way ikenson.

gmail.com, and I'll make sure Hayley gets it. She'll schedule us an appointment to talk. That's all I've got for now. Make sure to stay tuned for my Go Ask Angie series later today. I have a comment all picked out. I will be trying to respond to you. I have to find it again, but I saw last night. It was really good, and someone asked a direct question, so stay tuned for that. Again, I'm Angie. I can send certified life coach, author, and survivor. I will see you next time. Have a wonderful year.

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery: How to Deal With the Crippling Rage You Feel

Scripts