Building Fulfillment Through Little Acts of Kindness

Fulfillment comes from doing good for others, inspiring them to reciprocate, creating a stable, infinite game of trust and cooperation.

### Building Strong Bonds at Work by Doing Good for Others
* 💼 In business, we often give bonuses to people who are willing to **sacrifice others for our gain**, leading to **unfulfillment, poor work quality, and a lack of camaraderie**.
* 📊 When fulfilled at work, we focus on details and care for others, creating a **positive cycle of mutual support**.
* 🏥 Hospitals face preventable deaths due to a lack of **caring cultures**, similar to the issues in many companies.
* 👪 Parents who come home from jobs they hate are more likely to be bullies, highlighting the **impact of work on families**.
* 🎖 The United States Marine Corps excels at building strong bonds by creating situations where **individuals must rely on and help each other**.
* 💖 The feeling of fulfillment comes from doing good for others, and it biologically releases **oxytocin, making us want to help more**.
* Helping others is a risk, but by building self-confidence and helping others realize their strengths, we naturally start to **trust and support each other**.

### "The Infinite Game: Leading with an Endless Mindset"
* 🚀 Simon Sinek introduces the concept of the **infinite game**, where players are known and unknown, rules are changeable, and the goal is to **keep the game in play indefinitely**.
* 🏆 In finite games, players compete to **win**, while in infinite games, players compete to **outlast their competitors**.
* 🪜 Infinite players focus on **becoming a better version of themselves** and **advancing their metrics**.
* 💡 Companies often fall into the trap of playing the finite game by fixating on **beating their competition** and making **abrupt strategic shifts** based on their competitors' moves.
* 📈 Successful measurement and recognition should not just reward effort or progress, but the **effort that moves closer to an ideal destination**.
* 👥 Sinek emphasizes the importance of **building trust and relationships** in organizations, as well as the power of **giving without expecting anything in return**.
* 🌍 By spreading the message of the **infinite game** and inspiring others to adopt an **infinite mindset**, it is possible to shift the business landscape back towards a more **sustainable and people-centric direction**.

in the military, they give medals to people who are willing to sacrifice themselves so that others may gain. In business, we are willing to give bonuses to people who will sacrifice others so that we may gain. We have it backwards, and then we complain about how we don't love our jobs, and we complain about how the work is suffering, and we complain about how budgets are being cut, and we can complain, complain, complain, and the first thing we do is blame each other and become more selfish and worry about my pay and my benefits in my this and this is what happens when we are unfulfilled. We look at the metrics and we say they're not good enough. When we are fulfilled, we don't care about the metrics. This is why when you have a job you love and you get a call that says I'll offer you tons more money and great benefits, you're like I'm not interested, I'm not interested, ugh, I'm not interested, I'm very happy here. But we'll give you more. That's not the reason I'm here. I'm

here because I love it. I'm here because I care for the people I work with, and I'm here because the people I work with care for me. This is the world I imagine. This is the world I imagine, and here's the great thing: if you take little risks. I'm not talking about big things, little things. If you start doing little things for each other, the amazing anthropological response is other people will start doing little things for others too. I was walking down the street two days ago, and a guy's backpack was open, and a whole bunch of paper fell out as he was walking down the street. And I happened to be behind him, and so my friend and I just sort of, we were in mid-conversation, and in mid-conversation, we never even stopped talking. We just bent down, sort of helped them gather his papers and them back to him, sort of pointed out that his vet book bag was his, you know, his backpack was unzipped. And he said thanks, and we walked out. It was like no big deal, right?

we get to the end of the street. We stand at that. We're waiting to cross the street. We're still talking. We haven't stopped talking. And the guy in front of us turns to us and says, I saw you help that guy. That was real. [Music] But here's what's great about that. The guy will go do something for someone else simply because he saw us bend down and pick up paper for someone else. He will actually go do something for someone else because of it, right? He won't give to charity because he sees me put a dollar in a cup, but he will actually help someone because he saw someone also help. Little things: hold the door open for someone, say thank you to the person holding the door open for you, smile to the barista, little little things, you know, put your foot in the subway when the door is closing so someone who's running will make it, hit the open button at the elevator, don't go [Music] do it a little time and a little energy.

and you'll find around work that people give a little time and a little energy back to you. And you'll give a little more time and a little more energy. You go for a coffee with someone, then you go forth to our coffee, then you go for a coffee and a lunch, then you go for a lunch and a dinner, then you go for a dinner in a movie, and then you sleep over, and then you sleep over two nights, and then you go on holiday together, and eventually you get married, right? It's slow, it takes time, and we can't rush it, you know? If when we rush it, it's all fake. Do things for others and watch how much others do for you, but you know, go get yourself a cup of coffee from the coffee shoot machine in the morning, make one for someone else. It takes a little extra time, it takes a little extra energy, that's the point, that's the point. And here's the best part, you will feel so good at the end of the day, so good.

so here's a little issue we have in America today. There are currently about 250,000 people a year who were dying in our hospitals due to due to preventable deaths. And I'm not talking about negligence, I'm talking about little accidents, right? I'm talking about the doctor in the morning not properly briefing the doctor for the evening. You know, I'm talking about things that, you know, we can't sue anybody, there's nothing, there's nothing that we can see that's wrong. But there's 250,000 preventable deaths every year, that's about 20 747s going down every single week, that's what's the equivalent to. And the confusing thing is that we have the best doctors in the world, we have the most advanced technology in the world, some of the medical equipment we have is the best in the world, the medicines we have are the best in the world. So you start asking yourselves, why are these things happening? And the reason is not because of any of those things, the reasons are actually something vastly

more simple something very very human. 5% of hospital administrators are doctors. Most of them are number crunchers. Hospitals are run like businesses. Hospitals are run by the numbers. And the problem isn't the people who are giving the care. They're very highly trained. The problem is the way those people are cared for. Because what we've done is we've created cultures in hospitals where the people who are doing the caring are cared for. And so all of these little preventable deaths are happening because they don't feel like they're a part of anything. They're just doing their jobs. And they don't get along that well. And there's not a lot of camaraderie. And the impact is death. Right now, I use this example because it's exaggerated because the impact is so powerful. But the problem is the same in our own companies, right? Which is we come to work and we're told you must care for your clients. You must care for your customers. You must make them the focus of all you do. And yet why aren't

the people who are managing us from the top caring about us. So yes, in a hospital, the impact is worse, but the impact that we're having on the outside world is just as bad. In other words, we're not working at our best. We don't care for the things we're doing. We're not helping each other is the most important part, and the residual impact is that we are unfulfilled by the work that we do. And when we run fulfilled by the work that we do, we focus on the details. And when we focus on the details, we retract from each other. When we track from each other, we feel lonely. And when we feel lonely, cancer goes up, heart disease goes up, diabetes goes up. In other words, by going to work, we're killing ourselves, literally. There's another study that was released not that long ago that says that parents who work late, the negative impact that it has on their children is little to none. They may feel guilty as parents, but the negative impact that it has on the raising of their children is little to

none. However, parents who come home from jobs they hate or don't love their kids are more likely to be bullies at school. And now you think about the bullying epidemic we have in America, right? Where there's this disturbing number of young children who are killing themselves, suicides because of bullies. The problem is not the schools, and the problem isn't even the parenting. The problem is the jobs the parents have. This is the importance, and this is the power of the work that we do in the places we go to work, right? Most of us, I mean, like, we listen to the unemployment statistics. They say, you know, we're all-time high, record high, 9 to 10 percent unemployment, right? And people go, Oh, that's terrible. And I hear that number and I go, Well, that means ninety-one percent still have a job, right? Now, granted, we want to get that employment number up, but that means ninety-one percent are still going to work. How many of them coming home fulfilled by the work that they do, and how many of

them are waking up inspired to go back to work the next day. If we don't love our works, we don't look out for each other. And if we don't look out for each other, we feel lonely. If we don't feel lonely, all these negative things happen. So what example can I share with a creative audience about how to change this? The United States Marine Corps. I had the great honor last week of spending a week with the Marines. I spent a couple days at Camp Lejeune, and then I went for a few days to Parris Island to watch them go through boot camp. And this isn't a room, it's a remarkable, remarkable human experiment that they're doing. And even though they know what works, they don't know why it works. But they don't need to know why because they know that it works, right? But what's happening is they're taking a group of strangers, people who don't know each other, who were showing up and within a very, very short period of time learn to

trust each other so much that they would give their lives for each other, right? And we know everyone, sort of anyone who's ever worn a uniform knows that no one runs into battle for God and country, it doesn't happen. It's for the guy to the left of me and the guy to the right of me, that's the reason they do what they do. And these sort of remarkable stories of heroism where people rush into very, very dangerous situations to save others and they always ask the question, why did you do it? Why would you risk your life? Why would you put yourself at risk for them? And the answer is always the same, because they would do it for me. In other words, what gives them the confidence to put themselves at great risk is the knowledge that someone would do the same for them. We would put ourselves at great risk for our companies if we knew that our companies would put themselves at great risk for us, but they don't, so we don't. Now, one of the things that's remarkable

about the Marines. And if you go read and you know this is the most I asked these young and they're 21, 22 years old. Some of these lance corporals, the grunts, you know, the guys, the infantry. I mean, this is the lowest of the low, the ones we actually send into battle, the frontlines. And I asked them, Are you misunderstood in America? And they said yes unanimously. They all nodded. I said, What do people think of you? And one stood up and says, They think we're baby killers. I said, How does it feel? He says, It hurts. And when I say, Well, tell me a story then that captures to you what it means to be a Marine, the feeling you have of being a Marine, tell me a story that captures it. And I expected to hear stories of, I took a hit and somebody saved me, or I ran into a firefight, he pulled something. I expected these stories of heroism. Not a single story like that came out. And I'm sure those stories exist, but those

aren't at all. The stories they told me to capture what it means to be a Marine. [Music] One of the stories they told me was a young boy in Afghanistan who would come around every morning and sell kebabs to the Marines. And then one day he showed up and he was all beaten up. And he didn't go to his parents for help. And he didn't go to his friends to help. He came to the Marines for help because he trusted them more than anyone else. They told me a story that captured how they feel of a Sevilla CH that had been overrun by the Taliban. And the residents of the village couldn't go home because they would be killed by the Taliban. And so they were just living by the river. The problem was winter was coming. And one of the elders came to the Marines, knocked on the door, and said, I need you to come down to the river and kill us. And the Marine said, What are you talking about? He says, If we go back home.

we'll be killed by the Taliban, and if we stay out there, we're gonna die slow deaths this winter. It's easier if you just come and kill us, please. The Marines overran the Taliban village, pushed the Taliban out. A year later, they went back to this village, and people were playing volleyball. These were the stories they told me that capture what it means to be a Marine. They believed in doing good for others, and the fulfillment they get when they put themselves at risk so that others may prevail is overwhelming. This is not unique to the Marine Corps; this is all human beings. The feeling of fulfillment comes from doing something for another. The feeling from fulfillment comes from the exertion of time and energy for someone else. If you are walking to work and you throw a few pennies in a cup, and you come to work and you say to your friends, Hey guys, I gave a dollar to somebody homeless this morning, what do your friends get it to say? Yeah, good, right? I gave 20 bucks to somebody.

homeless. They'd be like, Yeah, good for you, right? What have you coming in the morning? You say, Hey, I gave up my Saturday night, went and paid, Mrs. Painted a school in the inner city. People go, Whoa, cool, wow, cool, and all of a sudden not only are they inspired to do something good themselves but the feeling that that you have persists. The amazing thing is that when we do good for others, it actually inspires others to do good. This is provided for us prymatt illogically anthropologically. It's all part of the survival of the species. You know sex feels good so that will do it so we can procreate and perpetuate the species but we're social animals and so we have to provide for the fact that we'll maintain strong bonds and build cultures, right? Because that's what humans do. We're cultural animals and so when we do good for others and we look out for those in our tribe, we look out for those in our group, it actually feels

good biologically releases oxytocin. This chemical that's released when you do good for others is released, and it makes you feel good. The amazing thing is the more oxytocin and you have in your body, the more you want to do good for others. The problem is we've replaced this feeling, the exertion of time and energy, with digital communications. We've replaced it with headphones. We've replaced it with money, right? Think about the invention of money, right? It used to be money, you know, used to be like you go to someone's house, you cook them dinner, and the deal was they'll do the dishes, time and energy exchange for time and energy, and someone said, I'll give you an IOU, right? Someone says, I don't feel like doing the dishes, so I'm gonna give you an IOU that I promise to do them another day, right? And that's what money is. It is the promise for future goods or services, the promise of future goods and services. In other words, we've replaced our own time and energy with promises for

someone else to do it another day right. In other words, there's no exertion of time and energy, and so the feeling people get is that I did something for you and you did nothing for me. You replaced it with a piece of paper with an I.O.U. with a promise for future goods and services. The way we find fulfillment is by doing good for others. So how did the Marine zoo? How do you get people to do good for others? We all know this intellectually. We know that it's good to do good for others, but why don't we do it then? Why don't we do it? And what the Marines learned is something that I completely did not expect. They can't just yell at these guys to help each other. That's not what happens. There's a few things that they have to do first. So we all heard of the obstacle course, right? The Marines have a thing called the obstacle course, and this is where they build an aerobic strength and Arabic strength muscle strength, and it's timed and all of this.

good stuff. They have another course called the confidence, and it's never timed. Most of the obstacles on this course cannot be completed by yourself; they must be completed in teams. You have no choice, that's just how it's designed. And what they say is the first two weeks of boot camp, everybody's there to outdo each other and prove that they're strong. Just kind of like when we start in a job, we want to show how great we are, we'll work a little harder, we'll do good work, look how good my design is, right? It's all about us and how good we are, right? But they keep putting them in situations where they can't do things by themselves. And what starts to happen very slowly, they said after about two weeks, they start cheering for each other. Now, they get in trouble when they do, but they start cheering for each other. And then before too long, you see them organically start helping each other. And what happens is if there's one person who's weak and refuses to help each

other the others or even if there's one person who's strong who's you know I was the star college athlete and they get to every the end of every office to call me just stand there and wait for everybody to finish and they don't help each other. What starts to happen as organically the group starts to ostracize that person. Organically they get ostracized until they learn that the only way that they will get through this thing. The only way they will survive boot camp is if they ask for help because they have no option. The problem is no one will help them until they're willing to help another. It's the deal we have to make. It's called vulnerability and risk. We have to take the risk to make ourselves vulnerable. Yes, you might do something for someone else and they may not do something back for you. That's the risk you run. That's the risk you run. It's not about it's not about giving everything to them and and sort of huge big overwhelming risk. It's about little

things and little things. It's like going on a date, right? It's like if I went on a date with somebody, I came home, and I said after one day, and I said, I'm marrying her, people like, What, are you nuts? I'd be like, They, like, but you're this is crazy. I'm like, I know I'm in love. Yeah, she feels the same way. We both know it's nuts, right? Now, you know that you're gonna be like, Go on a couple more dates, right? We know instinctively that the strong bond that's created first needs to be created first takes more than a week, right? We know that, right? But if I've been dating somebody for seven years and we haven't, you know, married, you'll be like, Dude, what is wrong? Right? In other words, we know that it takes more than seven days, and we know that it takes less than seven years. The problem is we don't know how long it takes somewhere in the middle. All human bonds are the same. Like when you show up at work, when

you show for the first time when you're new don't expect that people will look out for you, and they won't expect you to look out for them. In seven days, it won't happen, but if you've been working at a job for a few years and you don't have the uh, the sort of it, the absolute confidence that if you turn your back, you will not get stabbed, you can rely on somebody, you can give them something, nothing will go wrong, you will share the credit, no one will throw you under the bus. If you don't have that in a few years, something's wrong, something's wrong. I don't know how long it takes, but I know that's more than a week, and I know it's less than seven years, and the Marines fundamentally understand that. Before anyone is willing to put themselves out for another, they have to have self-confidence, real self-confidence. You have to be confident in yourself and your own ability before you're willing to help another. If you're insecure at all about your own ability.

it's an oxy. It's sort of a paradox, right? How can I overcome my confidence, you know, my self-confidence? And we all have ego issues at all times, you know, we all do, right? But if I'm not confident myself, I won't help another. It's a paradox because then we need someone to look out for us before we're willing to help our peers, right? This is what management is supposed to do, the drill instructors, the school. They are, they're our parents. They are there for one reason and one reason only: to help us feel strong and good about ourselves. But look at the way we talk to each other. A little bit, look, a budget's been cut, and so what do you get told? I need you guys to do more with less, right? That's what we're told. Hey guys, I need you guys to do more with less. That's we're told by our clients, by our bosses, by our parents. This is what we're told, right? That's like your parents telling you when you're young, I

know you're stupid. Figure it out, right? You're not as smart as the other kids. What do you want me to do, right? It's the exact same thing. I need you to do more with less, right? What we need to be telling people is, I need you. I need you to do more with what you have, right? You have capacity, you have strength, you have talent, you have capability. I need you to do more with what you have. We don't celebrate what we've got, we criticize for what we don't have. This is the responsibility of management to take us under their wing and help us understand our own value to ourselves. Close your eyes and think back to high school and think of that one teacher who took you under their wing and cared for you and looked after you and helped you realize that you are capable of more than you thought you were. And you, you probably are the person you are today in some part because of that person, right? You have that name. What's the name? Tell me the name. Tell me the

name of the teacher. Okay, give me the name. Okay, I can point to anybody and you can tell me that name. Now tell me the names of all the other teachers you have that day. Can't remember them. Kenyon, this is the power of those that teaches confidence. We will literally carry their names around with us for the rest of our life. Wouldn't you want to be that person? Wouldn't you want to be the person that twenty years from now, 30 years from now, 40 years from now, I can do this exercise with somebody and they will tell me your name? This is the power of helping others realize their own strengths. This is what management and leadership is supposed to be doing. They're supposed to be caring for us and helping us realize our own value. And by the way, if you have anybody who reports to you, works for you, your responsibility is not to make them meet the deadline. Your responsibility is not to make sure that they do as you say. Your responsibility is to make sure that they understand their own strengths, their own value.

that they are way, way more talented than they think they are. The only way they will learn that is if you put them in situations in which they can fail, and you hold them, and you support them, and you give them talent, and you give them skills, and you give them education, and you watch their backs. If they fall over, you encourage them to get back up, and if they follow, you encourage them to get back up, and if they fall over, you encourage them to get back up until they figure it out themselves. It's called confidence. It's your responsibility to help others find it, and it's others' responsibility to help you find yours. The amazing thing is, as soon as you start feeling comforted in your own ability, you naturally help each other. That's what happens. It's called trust. [Music] [Music] [Music] You can't twist anybody's arm to do something that they don't want to do. You know the law of diffusion, which I obey. As hard as it, as much as I

can which is you don't need the majority. You need those people who believe what you believe. In other words, if you buy if you, you know when you go sort of when you do some nice things for people, they may not do something nice back because they may be, you know, we live in a world in which you do something for somebody, they think you want something from them, right? That's unfortunately the society we have created, but but that's the risk that we keep taking. And I'm not saying you should keep doing it for somebody who keeps doing nothing and keeps sort of, you know, crapping on you because of it. Then at some point, you have to be like, All right, my bad, my bad, right? And you back off, you know? I don't believe in helping everyone. I do not believe in it, right? This is not, you know, let's do good for everyone in look on the planet. That's not what I'm talking about. Mother Teresa, who's the poster child for giving selflessly to all who need.

end of her life started questioned the existence of God, and by the way, hated her life. Serious, okay. In other words, giving to others unabashedly is actually self-destructive. It doesn't help, right? And it's just like going on dates with people you don't like. Doesn't mean you'll eventually click in math, right? The there's, there's only one machine that I found that really accurately measures trust better than any other sort of metric. It's called a human being. It's really good at it, right? And so those feelings you get, trust them in one way or the other, you know, it's the little risks, it's the butterflies, it's the unsure, you know, it's the, it's the backwards into the dance, it's dating, it's the dance, it's the nerves, like I, you know, it's that. So if there, if there are cynical bastards at your office who or who don't get it, you can ignore him. Don't worry about it because eventually you'll get enough, and those people either come along or leave.

or be pushed out. You know, ostracized. Remember when the group starts helping each other, they ostracize the ones who refuse to help, whether they're strong or whether they're weak. They get ostracized until they learn, until they learn that they cannot survive without the help of and they learn that the only way others will help them is if they help the others, right? The order matters. The order matters. I'll just, I just thought of something that sort of, we is pervasive in our sort of, you know, digital world. The order matters, you know, so to speak. Honestly about what you want, right? If you are doing don't do things for people when you want something from them, just ask them what you want from them. And I'll give you one little example. It's a funny little example. We've all received emails that go like this: Dear Simon Well, you wouldn't get any no to your side but I, Dear insert your name, right? Dear Simon, Haven't seen you in years. Hope you're well. Congratulations on all you've been doing. It's really amazing.

we should get copy sometime. If you could do me a favor, I'm if you could vote for me on this website. I'm hoping to win, you know, some thousand dollar prize for my design. Blah, blah, blah. Hope you're well. Talk to you soon, Kenny. Right, we've all received an email like that. And how do we respond to it, right? Now, what happens if you get the same email that goes like this, Dear Simon, um, hoping you could vote for me on this website. I'm trying to win some thousand dollar prize for my design. I haven't seen you in years. I hope you're really well. Congratulations on all that you've been doing. We should get a coffee sometime. Thanks, Kenny. Totally different. In other words, when we know why you're emailing and it comes first, it has a remarkable impact. We know that all those pleasantries are just buttering us up to get to what they want, right? But if you come right out with what you want, we're actually very grateful for the pleasantries, right? It's the same thing.

in human interaction, don't give someone a cup of coffee if you need a favor back. Just ask them for the favor. It builds trust. I can't trust you. Every time you do something nice for me, I think you just want something from me. I won't trust you. And this is what companies do to us, right? Well, we did this for you. Why won't you do this for us? That's not how it works. Generosity, bending down to pick up the papers, holding the door open for someone, is expecting nothing in return. Ever. Do not give. You know, this is what happens in new business, right? New business is built on relationships. And so, we build the relationship, build the relationship, build the relationship, until we're comfortable to ask for the business. In other words, you were only befriending me till the point you felt that I would let down my guard and you could ask me for something. The whole time, you were just waiting for that time. It doesn't work that way if you actually want to build relationships.

you build relationships without wanting anything, and that's how you build trust. You want to know why the Marines gave me this incredible access. I mean, literally, they said, Simon, anything you want to see, you got it. Anything you want to do, you got it. You can go ahead. We went past a sign that said, no observers, no civilians beyond this point. I'm like, Can I take pictures? Like, Go ahead. You should see some of the pictures. They're unbelievable, right? I'm like, right in there, Marines coming at me. We went out to the crucible and roll, like, you know, they're like rolling in the dirt and like, you know, going onto barbed wire. And I'm like, I'm not joking either. They're like, you know, unprecedented access, access that journalists would be jealous of. Do you know why they gave it to me? Because in all the time that I've been visiting with Marines and having meetings with them, I've never asked for anything. I don't want anything, and I don't have anything to sell. I just keep showing up and say, What do you need? How?

can I help? And at some point, they said, When I called and said I need a little favor because they know I haven't been waiting for the favor, it's the time now that I have a little favor. They go, Absolutely, whatever you need. It's called human relationships. Companies don't do business with companies. People do business with people. [Music] The more we give, the more inspires others to give. But the more selfish we are, the more others become selfish around us. And so, those are organizations in which selfish behavior perfect prevails. And so, we see the residual effect, which is they make decisions that ultimately screw us. They destroy our economy because of their selfish behavior, right? We know this is what happens, same in politics, right? And the answer is, Don't worry about it. I know it sounds silly, and you say, You mean your first question is, do I talk about these things to them? I will talk to anyone who will listen, you know, but I don't talk to people who don't want to listen. The good news is there are some

good eggs. And there are some of them who've had conversions where they were the bastards who believed in firing people and screwing people to advance their careers. And something happens. I just met a guy recently who's a very senior executive at a very, very large company. And something happened and he, like, got hit in the head or something and he realized, Holy cow, I have to look after people, right? And they become obsessed with it. And they start sticking their necks out. And we just need those champions scattered around. And this is what I do. The more I spread this message, the more it's sort of... it's kind of like, you know, in the cartoons, it's sort of the hall of justice, you know, that the message goes out, they all sort of, like, you know, wherever they are, like, you know, that they poke their heads up. It's that kind of thing. The more we talk about it, the more we put it in our work, you know, because don't forget, you're gonna help someone who goes home feeling

good and their husband or their wife works in the bank, and they're gonna talk how much about they love to, and that might inspire that. You know it's it has all of these residual impacts that we don't really know. This is the funny thing about the Internet, which is we're so proud of the internet that we can measure everything. No, you can't. You can only measure one layer, right? So if, for example, you say Simon, what's the impact you're having? I don't know is the answer, right? I know it's it's, I know that it'll take more than a week and I will take seven years, but I don't know when it's gonna happen, and I don't know how it's gonna get there, right? All I can do is is do it right, but I have no clue how we'll win. And so, for example, I can measure book sales, and I can measure how many hits, and I can measure how many people have watched a TED talk, and all of this, but I can't measure, you know, that TED.

talk could be shown to a room of 50 people, and one of those 50 people doesn't buy a book, doesn't watch a TED talk, doesn't do anything, but goes out and does something good for somebody else. I have no way of measuring that, and so we're so proud of the Internet and its ability to measure everything, but we're measuring one layer where we used to measure no layers. It's like, you know, this is how people work. It's gossamer, you know, it's networked. And so the answer is, don't worry about them. Don't worry about them. Worry about the people who you can care for, who you can give to. And when we reach a critical mass in society, it will tip, right? And if you don't believe me, the reason it is the way it is now is because it tipped the wrong way. There was no such thing as massive layoffs as a business strategy prior to night in the 1980s. It just wasn't done. It was done here and there, but it wasn't

strategy. The idea of using layoffs to balance the books is a relatively new phenomenon that came for the increase of selfishness in the Gordon Gekko greed is good 1980s boom, right? And this was also the same exact period, the 1980s, where the theory, the theory of shareholder value, was put forward, right? Because they had all do these people buying large companies and installing professional managers to run the companies that they bought, that they invested in, and they had a problem, which is those professional managers were paid for by the company, and those professional managers cared for the employees and the customers, and so the investor said, How do we protect our investments? We've got an idea. We're going to give them equity in the company and bonus them based on the performance, right? And so the shift happened where the CEOs started caring more about the investors and stopped caring about the customers and employed those with theories introduced by some Harvard professor in the 1980s. We can push it back the other way, right? We can

push it back the other way, but we just have to, and there's just a loser there was a just the other day. Which company was it? One of the large banks where the shareholders City been City been yeah Citibank the shareholders voted majority shareholders voted against a fat pay package that's unprecedented. It has never happened even in hard times even when the company's doing this the shareholders just it's just sort of a cursory thing where they approve the fifteen million dollar bonus for the CEO. They voted against it it's non-binding but it sends a shot across the bow saying shareholders now want you to be bonus if you do something good for others even if the others is up all right. The point is is that it's it's starting to crack and so let's just stick our finger in the crack you know make sure that it keeps cracking it's one one way we can swing it back you they took the gifted kids who are constantly told you're so good oh thanks but I knew you'd do well oh you're the

you're our best employee, you know you're our best student. You're awesome, right? And what happens is, later in life, they actually suffer because they're very afraid of taking risks, because they're very afraid of losing their position on the mantle. Okay, kids who are sort of more average, who constantly are rewarded not for their accomplishment, but for their effort. Great effort, really proud of the improvement you made. What they find is they do very well in life because there's no shelf, there's always more, there's more effort, right? And so you want to reward and acknowledge effort, even if they don't hit the goal. It's that the Delta, but at the same time, if it goes backwards, you'd be like, Dude, what's going on? It's like we don't get, we shouldn't be giving ribbons for everyone who competes, right? Because what we're teaching people is, if you do nothing, you get a medal, right? And the funny thing is, is we start with creating a generation that's feeling very hollow and feeling, you know, this sense of

entitlement that people complain about gen-y the entitlement is I don't feel like I've accomplished anything. And the funny thing is about human beings is we the way we feel accomplished is when we exert energy and time and reach a destination, right? And the more energy and time that we have to suffer through, especially if we suffer together and we get somewhere, it is overwhelming. Think about the best jobs you've ever worked on. Was it the best design? Was it the best results that the company had because of your project? Or was it an absolute hell project that you work together and you came out on the other end and that you got it done at the deadline and you're like, that was amazing. It was the hell projects. It was the things that we had to go out of our ways more, do things for each other, right? Things we weren't thinking of doing. I was wrapping packages. I was doing stuff that aren't designers aren't supposed to do, going, you know, this is what produces that, right? And so the.

thing is about measurement and destination reward. In we're standing in a big empty room, right? And we're standing in one corner. And I give you a simple instruction. I want you to go to that corner in a straight line, right? You got no big deal, right? Without telling you a slip, a chair in front of you. What do you do? You go around the chair. Now you just disobeyed what I told you to do. I told you to go to that corner straight line. But this is the amazing things about human beings, which is when we're given a clear destination, we use our own creativity and our own sense of innovation and our own problem-solving abilities to overcome obstacles to get to the destination. In other words, the destination is more important than the route, right? We are flexible about the route. We're obsessed with the destination reset. We're standing in the corner together. And I give you a simple instruction. Go somewhere in this room in a straight line. And you say to me, well, where do you want me to go? I'm like I

don't know you're smart figure it out. Go in a straight line, and so you pick a point, and you start walking. And without telling you, I put a chair in front of you. And what do you do? You come to a grinding halt. I say, what do you stop for? You go, Will you put a chair in front of me? Or you'll make a sudden turn and go in another direction, right? And this is the problem. It's the same obstacle. The difference is when you have a clear set, a clear destination, the obstacles become easy to overcome. When you don't have a clear destination, you keep coming to a grinding halt. And what we do in our companies is we're counting the steps we're taking along the route, but we're never looking at the destination, right? So companies has made a million dollars this year. We were only planning on making eight hundred thousand. Like, we took ten steps. We're planning on taking eight. Where're you going? No clue, right? We count the steps. And so the point is that people want to feel that the

effort that they're exerting actually are moving somewhere, and so successful measurement successful recognition is not just for the steps you take. It's not just for the effort. It's that the effort you exert it moved us closer to where we're trying to get to, and that get to should be some crazy ideal. My ideal is to live in a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning, you know, inspired to go to work and fulfilled by the work that they do. And the couple of measurements that I use are if the book is selling. And I, by the way, people ask me how many have you sold. I have no clue. I've never asked the publisher because they don't care. I really don't care have many I've sold. What I care about is the Amazon rankings, and that those are going steady or up and not plummeting because that means other people, right, because I don't have a publicist. I don't have a marketing strategy on purpose. I didn't hire one of those companies to sell the

book for me. And the reason is because I'm not interested in book sales. I'm interested in the spreading of an idea. And so I just used that as a metric to help me understand, am I sort of marching in that? Because the more I preach, is it resonating, you know? And so you have a couple of these imperfect measurements that help you understand, are you going along the way. So it's not just great effort, look what you achieved, because that's what we're doing now, right? Our goal is to increase top-line revenues by 50 million dollars. For what reason, right? Which is, we have to know the destination, and then we say, amazing, you took us that much closer. If we go to the right, it's because we were overcoming an obstacle. If we hadn't gone to the right, we would have been stuck forever. Thank you. You know, it's not always straight lines, it's not always straight lines. [Music] So I thought I'd share with you some new stuff that I'm working on because it's

fun, and then we'll spend most of the time just doing hearing, because that's also fun. So, I'm working on a new book, and I've recently become completely smitten by game theory, specifically finite and infinite games. In game theory, there are two types of games: finite and infinite games. A finite game is defined as known players, fixed rules, and an agreed-upon objective, like baseball. We all agree to the rules, we all agree that whoever has more runs at the end of nine innings is the winner, and the game ends, and we all go home. Nobody ever says that we can just play three more innings, I know we can come back from this deficit. It doesn't happen that way. An infinite game is defined as known and unknown players, the rules are changeable, and the objective is to keep the game in play, to perpetuate the game. When you pit a finite player versus a finite player, the system is stable. Baseball is stable. When you pit an infinite player versus an infinite player, the system is also stable, like the Cold War was stable.

because there cannot be a winner, and there cannot be a loser. So, we just try and keep the game in play, and in infinite games, because there are no winners and losers, what happens is players drop out of the game when they run out of the will or the resources to continue to play, right? So, technically, the United States didn't win the Cold War, the Soviets dropped out because they ran. What problems arise, however, when you hit a finite player versus an infinite player, because one is playing to win, and the other one is playing to keep playing, right? So, invariably, what happens is the finite player will always find themselves in a quagmire. So, this was the United States in Vietnam. The United States was fighting to win, and the North Vietnamese were fighting to survive, very different set of standards. This was the Soviet Union in Afghanistan. The Soviets were fighting to beat the Mujahideen, and the Mujahideen would fight for as long as is necessary. And invariably what happens is the finite player will find

themself in quagmire until they drop out of the game and leave the game because they run out of the will or the resources to stay in the game. So this gets me thinking. Let's look at business. The game of business is an infinite game, right? It Bay's all the rules. There are known and unknown players. You don't know all the competitors necessarily in one industry to another. The rules are changeable. We haven't all agreed what the rules are, and there is no winning the game of business, right? The game just perpetuates. In fact, the game of business has existed longer than every single company on the planet today, and it will outlast every single coming up company on the planet today. If you look at the Dow index of 30 something odd companies that make up the Dow X something like 70 or 80 percent of those companies are 35 years or younger, right? So it gets me thinking if you listen to the language that companies use, they don't know what game they're in. They talk about being

number one talk about beating their competition based on what agreed-upon criteria based on what agreed-upon timeframe is that market share is a profits is it revenues square footage number of employees over what one month five months six months a year five years ten years the life of the company I haven't agreed to those rules and so companies can arbitrarily declare themselves number one and anything they want if they set the standards in the time frames and the only reason we do these things on an annualized basis we tend you we tend to compare ourselves to other Asians annually is only because we pay taxes annually. If we pay taxes every 18 months that would be sort of the standard but again we still haven't agreed what the metrics are to be number one. That means the companies that are playing the infinite game are playing against most of the others were playing the finite game means those finite companies find themselves in a quagmire almost every single bankruptcy not almost every every single bankruptcy is a company that's run out of the will or

the resources to play. They drop out of the game. The game will persist. Another company will fill their space. It's not like. It's not like the business stops or the industry ends, and the companies that are playing the infinite game will frustrate those finite players, which I absolutely adore. So I spoke at an education summit for Microsoft. I also spoke in an education summit for Apple. Now I would say about 70 to 80 percent of the executives at Microsoft spent about 70 to 80 percent of their powerpoints talking about how to beat Apple. At the Apple Summit, 100 percent of the executives spent 100 percent of their presentations talking about how to help teachers teach and how to help students learn. One was obsessed with their journey, with their vision, with their cause. The other one was obsessed with their competition. Guess who's stuck in quagmire? Guess who's frustrated by their competition? So at the end of my talk at Microsoft, they gave me a gift. They gave me the new Zune.

when it was a thing, and I have to tell you, this was one of the most remarkable, beautiful pieces of technology I've ever used. The UI was gorgeous, the design of the actual hardware was beautiful. It was logical in the way I could use it, it was intuitive, it was absolutely fantastic. Now, it didn't work with iTunes, which means I couldn't use it. That's a different problem altogether, but this was a magical piece of technology. So, at the end of my talk at Apple, I'm sharing a cab with one of the senior Apple executives, or, but sort of an employee number 12, gunner guy, and I decide to stir the pot. So, I turned to him and I say, You know, I spoke at Microsoft, and they gave me the new Zune, and it is so much better than your iPod Touch. And he turns to me and he says, I have no doubt. Conversation over. Because the infinite player understands sometimes your product is better, and sometimes it's not. Sometimes you're ahead, and sometimes you're behind. The goal is not to beat your competitor.

the goal is to outlast your competitor. What you find is that the infinite players don't actually compete against their competition, they compete against themselves. The finite players, the ones who wake up every day trying to beat somebody else. The infinite players, the ones who say, How can we be a better version of ourselves? How can we advance our metrics? How can we make our products more refined, more beautiful than they were last week? It's totally fine to study our competition tactically. It's nothing wrong with knowing what our competitors are doing. But the number of companies that study their competition strategically blows my mind. They look at what their competition is doing and they make sudden sharp left and right turns to change the course of their company based on the movement of their competition. That's the point. That's what wastes resources. The constant changing of your mind, the constant going in this direction, in that direction, based on the wind of your competition, assuming that they know what they're doing. I find that fascinating and the number of companies that play finite is

MILITARY MINDSET - MOTIVATIONAL SPEECH BY SIMON SINEK - [ MOTIVATION 2017 ]

Pamela C. Erickson

Giving bonuses for sacrificing others in business leads to unfulfilling work and a focus on self-gain.

Small acts of kindness in the workplace can create a ripple effect of caring and support among colleagues.

A lack of caring and camaraderie in the workplace not only affects job satisfaction but can also have a detrimental impact on overall health and well-being.

Fulfillment from work is crucial for preventing negative outcomes like bullying and loneliness.

The United States Marine Corps provides a powerful example of finding fulfillment through helping others.

Doing good for others not only brings personal fulfillment but also inspires others to do the same, contributing to the well-being of society.

Doing good for others releases oxytocin, which creates a desire to do more good.

However, the modern world has replaced personal connections with digital communication and money.

The Marines have learned that building teamwork and the willingness to help each other requires creating a sense of self-confidence and trust, which takes time and vulnerability.

This process is similar in all human relationships, taking more than a week but less than seven years to develop.

Self-confidence is essential for helping others, creating a paradoxical situation of needing support to be able to support others.

Management should focus on helping individuals realize their own value and strengths.

Unabashedly giving to others can be self-destructive, and it's important to focus on building trust and only helping those who reciprocate.

The Power of Genuine Intentions in Human Interactions

Being genuine and upfront about one's intentions in interactions can have a significant impact and build trust.

Building relationships based on genuine generosity and without expecting anything in return is crucial for trust and long-term success.

The spread of this genuine and selfless approach can inspire others to do the same, ultimately creating a positive impact on a larger scale.

The Unmeasurable Impact of Human Connection

The internet allows us to measure only a fraction of our impact, particularly in inspiring positive actions in others.

The shift towards selfishness in the 1980s led to a focus on investor profits over customer and employee well-being.

There is a growing movement to prioritize and measure the positive impact on others, as seen in the unprecedented shareholder vote against a CEO's large bonus.

The Significance of Clear Destinations and Infinite Games

Human creativity and problem-solving skills are driven by clear destinations, making obstacles easier to overcome.

Successful measurement and recognition should focus on progress towards the destination, rather than just the effort exerted.

Infinite games, where the objective is to keep the game in play, create challenges when pitted against finite games focused on winning, leading to different standards and potential quagmires.

The game of business is an infinite one, with everchanging rules and no ultimate winner.

Companies playing the infinite game focus on outlasting their competition rather than beating them, while finite players often find themselves in a quagmire, struggling to keep up.

The majority of companies play the finite game, obsessing over beating their competition strategically, which leads to a waste of resources.