There are people who appeal, saying that the person I like doesn't like me back, and strangely, only those I'm not interested in seem to like me. This is true. People around me actually say I'm okay, and there are people who genuinely like me. However, whenever I meet someone I like and am interested in, they don't seem to like me back. The reason this keeps happening is because there is a divine secret behind it. It's not a coincidence, everyone. But this happens consciously, and many people don't realize that. 

I am a psychological counselor who helps with marriage. Do any of you think, This is my case? These individuals have something in common. They can communicate well with others, maintain eye contact, and smile easily, but when they meet someone they like, they unknowingly struggle to speak, their voice tone drops, and they stutter or can't get the words out. Additionally, they inadvertently make the other person uncomfortable.

I find myself asking questions or acting in ways that put pressure on others, and I really don’t know why I do it. It’s so frustrating. So today, I want to talk about the secret behind why the people I like don’t seem to like me back, and what I can do to make someone I like take an interest in me. 

I’ve developed an interest in someone named Kim. The first thought that crosses my mind is that this person probably doesn’t like me. When that thought occurs, something happens in my heart that makes me create a version of Kim in my mind, someone who doesn’t like me at all. When I have a real conversation with this person, I’m not actually interacting with the real Kim in front of me, but rather with the version I’ve imagined, the one who doesn’t like me. So, when something happens in reality, I want to approach this person because I’m interested, but somehow I end up...

My expression becomes awkward, and suddenly I run out of things to say. I stammer and get tense, which makes me shrink back. Then, how do you think the other person perceives me? Naturally, they would feel uncomfortable around me and wouldn't develop any fondness for me. As a result, this person becomes someone who doesn't actually like me in reality. In truth, this person keeps pushing me away and doesn't have any affection for me. But the more unfortunate thing is that I don't realize that I made them feel this way. Instead, I think, See, I was right, and later when I meet someone else I like, the same situation repeats itself. So why do I keep acting this way only towards the people I like? If I grew up without receiving love from my parents, I internalize the belief that I am unlovable and inadequate. This thought and feeling become a part of me.

It gets engraved in my heart. But when I feel like I'm lacking and not deserving of love, I feel a lot of shame, and my self-esteem drops. So, I hide that feeling deep inside and live with that seal intact, thinking to myself that I'm an okay person, that just being decent is enough. I manage to get by like that, and I even attract some people's interest; there are those who like me. But when I meet someone I am truly interested in, that seal I've hidden in my heart automatically breaks in front of that person. I feel like I am someone who doesn't deserve love, someone who is lacking. In reality, whenever I develop feelings for someone, my self-esteem suddenly drops. Some people say this, but it's not that my self-esteem drops out of nowhere; it’s because that seal is being broken, revealing the feelings of unworthiness I’ve been carrying.

I feel this way because of that. However, when I am in front of someone I like, the seal suddenly breaks, and I feel unloved and insufficient. Do you know how that feels? I feel so insignificant, and I hate this part of myself. I want to escape from it. So, what I do is make my own feelings into the other person's feelings. This is called projection in professional terms. I think of myself as insignificant, and I dislike myself; yet, I keep feeling like that person sees me as insignificant and doesn't like me. So, whenever someone I'm interested in comes along, even though that person doesn't know me well, I keep feeling like they don't like me, and this cycle continues. Now, let me talk about what I need to do for someone I like to have a positive feeling towards me. When someone I'm interested in looks at me...

It feels like I'm someone they don't like. I need to quickly realize that this is a false feeling. That person still doesn't know me well. Instead of presenting myself as someone they don't like, I should present myself as someone they do like. When I actually talk to that person, if I think of someone who truly loved me, imagining that person in their place, I naturally become more relaxed. I gain confidence, and my words and actions become more appealing, making that person genuinely like me. You can also apply this during interviews. Imagine the company interviewer as a mentor who cared for you. This way, I unconsciously relax, gain confidence, and respond better, leading the interviewer to take a liking to me as well. Finally, I want to be loved.

I have to deal with the feeling of being a worthless existence, of feeling inadequate. Only then can I avoid feeling shabby about myself and not dislike who I am. This way, I also won’t feel that others see me as shabby or that they like me for it. I can't express how much freer and more comfortable my heart becomes. Naturally, when I meet someone I’m interested in, I can radiate my charm better, and the other person will likely develop a liking for me. So, dear subscribers, approach others with confidence! Instead of saying, Try to initiate fun conversations, I talk about these psychological mechanisms because understanding why I act this way is essential for building good relationships. If I don’t even know why I’m acting this way, trying to approach someone with confidence or initiating fun conversations could actually backfire. Many of you may have experienced this. This was your relationship consultant, Byeol Won. See you next time, everyone. Goodbye!

나를 좋아하게 하려면, 반드시 이 방법을 쓰셔야 해요 (Feat. 심리상담사 추천방법 ) / 별언니의 연애, 결혼, 관계, 사랑

나를 좋아하게 하려면, 반드시 이 방법을 쓰셔야 해요 (Feat. 심리상담사 추천방법 ) / 별언니의 연애, 결혼, 관계, 사랑

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