Maximizing Your 20s: Strategies for Success and Growth

Investing effort in your 20s lays the foundation for a successful future.

### Navigating Your 20s: Key Insights for Success
* 💡 "The worst case... is that you can always **go get a job**, so don't be afraid to **take risks in your 20s**."
* 🏃 The concept of the **hedonic treadmill** illustrates how people quickly adapt to new experiences, making it essential to **pace oneself and delay gratification** to enjoy life's rewards longer.
* 📸 Social media often amplifies feelings of inadequacy as individuals compare their lives to the **curated highlights of others**, leading to **unrealistic expectations about success and happiness**.
* 🏠 It's advisable to keep your first living situation modest and avoid overspending on luxuries early on, as this leaves room for **future growth and opportunities**.
* 🎓 Pursuing challenging paths early in your career can provide more options later, as it's **easier to scale back from intense effort** than to ramp up from a relaxed state.
* 🛑 Young adults often feel pressured to avoid risks due to societal expectations, yet their 20s are the **best time to embrace risk-taking and explore their true potential**.
* 👥 The company you keep significantly influences your mindset and ambitions; surrounding yourself with **motivated individuals** can foster **personal growth** and encourage you to **pursue your goals**.
* ❤ Establishing stable, long-term relationships in your 20s can provide **emotional support** and help you **thrive while navigating the challenges of early adulthood**.

What's the worst that can happen? Yeah, and you just... okay, be explicit. This happens, okay? Well, if that happens, yeah, then what can you do? Could you go get a job? They're like, "Yes." And I'm like, "Okay, so the worst case... this is Dalton plus Michael and..."

Today we're going to talk about how to spend your 20s. Yeah, we are. As people who are no longer in their 20s, yeah, we're qualified. Extremely. People on the internet, man, have all the answers on how to live your life. That's... we're elder millennials in...

All honesty, I think that uh, we see a lot of young people at YC become really successful, and so there are some lessons that probably can be pulled out, and they would apply to people who might not even ever want to do a startup. So where would...

You start? How about... how about here. Do you know what the hedonic treadmill is, friends? It's this thing where no matter what's going on in your life, you will get used to it. Yes. And so when you get a new cool thing when you're a kid and you...

Get a new toy, you're like, "Wow, this toy is awesome! What a great Christmas! I'll never want for anything again!" And then two days later you're like, "Oh yeah, this toy sucks. It's just... I want more new stuff." And so whenever you get new things...

Whenever you get new rewards, you get used to them, and they no longer are awesome the way you thought they would be once you get them. Okay? And so the treadmill is you're always trying to walk forwards on achieving new goals or getting new stuff. Yes, and it never feels...

satisfying, and you just keep running on the treadmill forever. Okay, well, and I think that there's some dangerous, ironic treadmills in your 20s. Um, and what's funny is like Instagram kind of blew this up in a really awkward way, because it's like

everyone's sharing videos and photos of them living their absolute best life. Yeah, it's fake, like they're they're clipping the top 1% of their lives that are awesome and they're putting it online, and you're like, wow, everyone is living a more awesome life than me, like

every day, every day, all the time. My life sucks. And and it changes kind of what you think your goal should be. So I and it what's what's sad and unfortunate is that like there's only so many... I mean, wow, this is going to sound really

depressing; there are only so many good things. There's only so many toys. Yeah, this isn't a speedrun to get through them. And you know, you know people who grow up super rich like have this problem of like, oh, crap, like I already did all the fun stuff, and I have a lot

more life to live. Oh, man, this sucks. So we definitely... people screw that up in their 20s. And we're arguing, we are arguing that there is a way to hack this. There's a way to hack the atomic treadmill. It doesn't mean you shouldn't

seek, yeah, like enjoyment. And the hack is to intentionally delay each step, yeah, and to give yourself room and upside. Yes. So there's always more steps for you to climb in the future versus speed-running it and getting it all at once. Yes, so for

For example, you gave this example: the first place you live after college shouldn't be much nicer than your dorm room. Yeah, even if you got a job at Facebook and you can afford it. And the reason is you're leaving yourself a lot more...

upside there. Yes. Um, your first vacations should probably not be that nice. Um, there are lots of examples; your first car shouldn't probably be that nice. I think this in so many areas, and um, I think that if you can get those hedonic distractions um a little bit out of your...

20s, you can focus on other stuff. What should people be focusing on? The best way I've heard this uh said is to do the most hardcore thing early in your career because you can always mellow out; you can always pull the rip cord and do less...

hard things. Yes, it's very hard to go the other way around. Like, if you've been on mellow, chill mode and then you decide you want to be very ambitious and hardcore, it's much harder to do it that way. Why do people... it's interesting to me...

because that seems obvious; that seems like obvious advice. But I also feel like people are, like, afraid of it. Somehow... No, I think you're bombarded with: 'You want to have a good work-life balance.' I think you're actually bombarded with, like, 'You might burn out.' The opposite of...

that, right? It's weird. I found these messages very confusing when I was younger. Well, it's... I might argue, maybe I was just kind of in a weird bubble, but I feel like I hear those messages now; I didn't hear those messages then.

Like, almost all of my friends were trying hard, but now it almost feels like, oh, if you try too hard, you'll pull a muscle. Yeah, which is so weird. It's kind of like, oh, if you run too hard when you're young, you'll hurt yourself.

Versus like, you'll definitely hurt yourself when you're old. And you are... like, being young is when you actually... how about to riff on it this way? Yeah, if you choose to go to med school, that is a hardcore thing. And once you get your MD,

you could be a more mellow doctor. You don't have to be crazy. You could be like a part-time plastic surgeon once you go through med school. So you're doing the hard thing, and you have a lot of choices. Same thing with law school, I would say. Same thing with

people that work at hedge funds or investment banks. But I think a lot of people that opt into other careers do the less hardcore thing. And again, maybe they should. Maybe if you want to be a novelist, you should be a really hardcore novelist in your 20s and write a lot.

Yeah, yeah. And so I think, regardless of the career you're going down, yeah, the more hardcore path just gives you more options when you're when you're older. And I think this comes back to a point we talk about a lot, which is that like,

you don't really know your capacity. Yep. Don't speedrun all the fancy things in life and do hard things early. Get used to it; get comfortable. I think the third thing that comes up a lot in your 20s is it's an opportunity to be risk-seeking.

versus risk-avoiding, and it's hard to contextualize how much of your life you'll spend being risk-averse. Yep, but it's like, your kids, you have a mortgage, you have elderly parents, you yourself are elderly; you are less willing to take risks. So most

people in their 20s don't have any of those things to worry about, um, or many. I shouldn't even say most. Yet sometimes it seems like they're not taking as much risk. Yeah, what do you think's going on there from talking to founders?

A lot of them are told by their parents to not do something risky and to not take career risks in their 20s. Again, I'm not really sure where that's coming from, but doing a startup is seen as risky; like you can destroy your life if you do

a startup. Yeah, or something like that. So I think it's fear, and again, perhaps justified. I don't really get it; this is the thing that always gets me. It's it's it's not the idea that you get a job and you can do that job at that company for

the rest of your life; that's already been disproven. Yeah, like, so it's like I understand the feeling of fear, but like the result, like, 'Oh, if I get a job at IBM today, like I'll be there until I'm 60,' like, probably not. So I think

the other thing that happens when people think about risk is they have to test themselves. It's hard to kind of know what you're made of. It's easy to think you know what you're made of and never test it, then to actually be out

There's an uncomfortable area, and like, you have to put... I think one good exercise you could do on that point, whenever people talk about risk or they're worried about it, is I encourage them to just be like, okay, well, let's talk about it. What's the worst that can happen?

And you just... okay, be explicit. This happens. Okay, well, if that happens, then what can you do? Could you go get a job? They're like, yes. And I'm like, okay, so the worst case... it's like, I would just... I advise this for everybody out there.

You know, talk through explicitly what the worst thing that could happen if you take a risk is. And it might not sound as bad as you think once you name it, once you talk about it explicitly. Well, and here's the interesting thing, because we're making this for a general audience,

I want to leave open the door that maybe it... it is really bad. Yeah, right. Like, and if it really is bad, don't take the risk. Don't take the risk. Like, we're not saying you should always, no matter what starting conditions, be risk-seeking.

I think what we're trying to say is there are a lot of people who their starting conditions would allow them to be risk-seeking, but they don't realize it. Yep. And that's... or they realize later and they're like, wow, yeah, whoops! Like that

was dumb. Yeah, that's a tricky one. You brought up parents. I think it's probably worth revisiting. Um, we're parents. Yep. It's hard to not want to have a vision for your kids. Yeah. It's hard to not have expectations. It's

It's hard not to have dreams, and maybe they're not like, "Oh, I want to be a doctor." Right? For some people, it is, but it's hard not to have that, right? It's hard not to feel responsible. Yeah, but your 20s is really the first time

where your plan's kind of your own. If you're following your parents' plan, you chose that, like, right when you're 14. If you're following your parents' plan, maybe your parents chose that. Yeah. But when you're 23 and you're following your...

are you living your own life or the expectations of you? Yeah, because at some point you're going to wake up and realize, "This is my plan. This is my life." Yeah. Yeah. And I think what's interesting is like, maybe your parents' plan's great,

maybe it's bad, like, who knows? But um, I think there are a lot of people who kind of look back and they're like, "Oh, I didn't question my plan enough in my 20s." Yeah, like I woke up in my 30s and was

like, "Wait, did I really like the path that I walked? Did I ever spend a lot of time thinking about what I want?" Or not. And then they realize in their 30s, like that's a little... some of that's baked in. Yep. I think the biggest point

around these lines is also peers, yes, and who you spend time with. Like, I always like to reference: your personality is just an amalgam of whatever the six or seven people you spend the most time with. Yeah. And a lot of the things that we think are our own ideas are our own

Identity isn't inherent; it's absorbed from your peer group.  So, being thoughtful about who you spend time with is important. Ask yourself: 'Are they making me better? Am I around people who make me more optimistic?'

That influences many life decisions. It's funny how much of our lives are dictated by random things, like college roommates.  Is there

a bigger decision than what kind of person you become? Random roommate assignments freshman year are a big deal. This is hackable, like the hedonic treadmill; you can choose to spend more time with different people based on who you want to be.

We're not saying your friends are bad, but if you want something different—if you want to change, if you want to start a startup—having more friends who are involved in startups helps. They won't say things like, 'Startups are

dumb, risky. Why would you do that?' Instead, they'll say, 'Oh yeah, I'm doing a startup too.' You see?

Everyone becomes a centrist within their social circles. If you're surrounded by extremists on any topic, you'll think you're a centrist, but you're actually an extremist.  Startups aren't weird at all in certain friend groups, but in others, they don't get it. It's tricky.

because it's like, you know, we don't want to make this corporate and transactional. It's just more like, hey, know how powerful the people around you are and like, understand a hack to changing your life is changing those people. Um, and hey, changing those people might require

changing where you work, changing where you live, um, moving to a different city. Like one of the nice things about your 20s is you can make big decisions like that and they usually only impact yourself. Yep. You can move to a foreign country, you can move to the big city, you

can get a job where you don't know anyone. Yeah, period. Yeah. And that's no big deal in your 20s; everyone's doing that. And I will say this: um, your really good friendships will survive. Like, your really good friendships—you can talk to that person once or twice a

year, you can see them once every three or four years, and they'll stay your friends. So you're not maybe risking as much as you think you are by changing where you live or who you're living with or what industry and what job you're in. You're not

changing as much as you think you are. Um, I know it seems scary. Let's move to relationships. Uh, Dalton challenged me to to offer what I might—might say is a controversial piece of advice, and one controversial piece of advice I would have is I think you should seek

long-term relationships in your 20s. I think a lot of people would say, "Oh, you don't want to get tied down with a partner and like, yada yada yada." And I'm not saying like, get married, buy houses, have kids. I'm saying I think that there is

Something really powerful about having a strong partner, especially when you're trying to do hardcore things and work really hard with maximum effort. I think then having a really good partner actually unlocks some of your potential.

Coming home to someone you really enjoy being around kind of recharges you faster. Um, I also think being in the practice of being in stable relationships is good; it's a good habit to develop that your future self will enjoy.  You like stable

relationships. Um, and I think the opposite habit can harm, right? Like the person who never wants stable relationships, just wants to be on Tinder, and doesn't ever want to be tied down... I'd argue that that ghosts everyone, yeah, constantly. Yes, that's

like trying to experience FOMO every minute, right? You're kind of training yourself with the wrong lessons. If you do aspire to have a family one day, you know, you can start orienting yourself in that direction in your 20s, or you can create debt for

yourself in your 20s. I'd argue the debt thing is harder. Um, so yeah, that would be my controversial piece of advice. What's left? What are our final pieces of advice? Let's rebut ourselves. So, Michael, what do you...

This is all startup advice. Yeah, most people don't want to start a startup. Why is any of this relevant to me as a person that doesn't want to do a startup, that's watching this video? Well, and I think what's interesting is I think that

We're not trying to presuppose what you want to do with your life. I think we're kind of trying to say, 'Hey, if you have something tricky you want to accomplish, here are some tricks that can help you.' And I think that there's a lot of

commonality between the startup founder experience and the experience of someone who wants to do anything that's really hard. I think the scary thing that people don't want to hear is that investments in your 20s pay off for the rest of your life. Yeah, they don't want to hear that

whether they're good or bad investments. And it's like, I think anyone who lived through a childhood where you're kind of told, 'Hey, every door is open to you; it's a world of opportunities,' hates being told, 'Hey, this decade, doors start

closing.' Like that, no, doesn't feel good. No, no, but it's true. But it's the truth, man. It's the truth. All right. Um, other common rebuttal questions: Oh, well, what if, you know, I have debt or I have to support people? Like, you guys are giving all this advice,

this is just not applicable to me; this is not applicable to most people, you know? So I think that, like, that is certainly true. I think that there are a lot of people out there that have extremely specific limitations. Hell, you know, hey, some people are stuck in a

country and they can't get out. I would say, once again, this is not 'go do a startup.' Startups are for everyone, like that's not what we're trying to say. What we're trying to say is that, like, doing maximum effort is probably the only way

You can get yourself out of a not-great situation. Many not-great situations are gettable, or at least you can ameliorate them; you can make them slightly better if you work really, really hard. One of the things I've noticed is that

the people who are the most, I don't know, like, who have the most challenges, like, when they can be optimistic and when they can see themselves as agents as opposed to victims, crazy things can happen in their lives. You know, like, crazy things can

happen by just switching what's in their head. So, um, yeah, like you might not be able to apply to YC, you might not be able to move, you might not, like, fine, yeah, but like there's probably something in your life that you can apply one of

these lessons to. That is a chance of making things a little bit better. And I think the last thing that comes up, and this definitely comes in the context of YC, like, you know, what if I didn't go to a good school? I feel as though the people who went to a good school, they

still have a lot of doors open to them in the workplace. And I don't see the doors.  I'm trying to identify what companies or workplaces have the most interesting people doing the work you're most interested in. Again, even if it's not a tech startup, again it could

be like a magazine or something, you know, any, but where you're like, wow, this is really good work they're putting out. Yes, I would try to get any job there. Yeah, because once you're in the room, yeah, once you get into an organization, you will

get to meet and be around all these other people and soak up the culture. And there are so many people I know in Silicon Valley that didn't go to a good school, yeah, that just got in the door somewhere, yes, with any kind of random job, yes, and

once they were in there, their intellect and their skills and their abilities allowed them to win people over. Yeah, and then they're good. You're giving subtle advice here because this isn't this isn't "go get this brand on your resume," um, this isn't "oh, go get a job at

Facebook." Like, this is: where are the super talented people, and can you get yourself around them? Yep. And what's interesting is that, in many cases, super talented people aren't at the big companies, um, or if they are, they're not at every part of the big

company. And so, um, many times super talented people are at the beginning of stuff, yeah, where getting in is easier. Well, this is what's funny about smaller startups: they're not famous yet; they are risky, yeah, but you could get higher there—like it's not as hard to get

higher there—as the larger places. Yeah. Um, but then you're like right in the pit of the craziness when you work in an earlier-stage startup. Yeah. I mean, we had an intern, um, at my startup that went on to get into YC, uh, start a company that's generating

tens of millions of dollars in revenue. Yep. And did not go to a good school. I remember when he was applying for the job, he was working as a security guard for a housing development. Yep, that was his job. How did he get hired at your

Company, you know, we wanted someone to be a content moderator, and we were like, "What are your qualifications?" He's like, "Well, my qualification is, um, I'm the security guard, and I work basically the gate at a college kind of housing community, nights and

weekends are just crazy." And I'm just like, "You know, you're hired!" It wasn't "you're hired." We didn't hire him to be a community director, but it was definitely like, "You're putting your best foot forward, and that sounds hard." Like,

actually, like, I, I've been one of those kids. Like, yeah, like you, you, you've done some hard work. And then what I would say is, man, like getting in the game is as simple as, like, like, yeah. Once he got into your startup, then he was

hanging out with you guys, like all the founders. Yeah, just you're in the game. You're in the game. And I think this is what's so cool about startups is that, like, man, small startups, you know, they might say, "Oh, we're looking at people who

only went to this school or only got this job." But like, you know, humans are reading every email. Like, you know, there isn't a machine. Like, if it's a 20-person startup, five-person startup, it's like your email got read. And man, when people are in those

startups and they're desperate, they're open to giving people opportunities. So to wrap this up, um, probably the overall TL;DR we're trying to share with you is, man, don't be the 30-year-old who wakes up and says, "What happened to my

20s again. This is one of those things like, you know, hard life, troop's life.  Years don't come back, and most of the most successful people we know, they were laying that foundation in their 20s. All right, good chat. Sound good. Thanks. [Music]

How To Make The Most Out of Your 20s

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Video Team:
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Y Combinator

How to Spend Your 20s:  Overcoming the Hedonic Treadmill

Introduction of the hedonic treadmill: getting used to new things, always wanting more.

Instagram's impact: showcasing idealized lives, leading to dissatisfaction.

The limited nature of enjoyable experiences and the danger of speed-running through them.

The 'hack': intentionally delaying gratification to create more opportunities in the future.

Examples of delayed gratification: housing, vacations, cars.

Prioritizing Hard Work Early in Your Career

Doing the most challenging work early allows for more flexibility later.

Counteracting societal pressures for work-life balance and avoiding burnout.

Examples of hardcore early career paths: medicine, law, finance.

Embracing risk-seeking behavior in your 20s, contrasting it with risk aversion later in life.

Parental influence and societal pressures against risk-taking.

Explicitly identifying and analyzing the worst-case scenarios of taking risks.

Acknowledging that some risks are genuinely bad and should be avoided.

Many have the conditions to be risk-seeking but don't realize it.

Navigating Parental Expectations and Peer Influence

The challenge of balancing parental expectations with personal aspirations.

Distinguishing between following one's own plan and fulfilling others' expectations.

The significant impact of peer groups on personal identity and decision-making.

The hackability of peer influence: choosing to surround oneself with people who encourage growth.

The unconventional advice of pursuing long-term relationships in your 20s.

The benefits of a strong partner for support and faster recovery from hard work.

The potential downsides of avoiding stable relationships and constantly seeking new ones.

Developing healthy relationship habits early on for future well-being.

Addressing Common Rebuttals and Applicability Beyond Startups

Clarifying that the advice isn't limited to aspiring entrepreneurs.

Addressing the feeling that opportunities are closing in your 20s.

Acknowledging individual limitations and varied circumstances.

The power of optimism and self-agency in overcoming challenges.

Advice for those who didn't attend prestigious schools: finding and working with talented people.