The Illusion of Wealth: Understanding Consumerism and Happiness

Graham emphasizes that true wealth lies in options, not in flaunting luxury or status.

### The Value of Looking Poor: Prioritizing Wealth Over Appearances
* 💰 "Many people today are pretending to be rich, digging themselves **deep in debt** just to impress others, while in reality, they are **broke**."
* 👖 The wealthiest individuals often blend in and appear unassuming, showcasing that **true wealth does not need to be flaunted**.
* 💸 Consumerism and luxury brands are criticized as "**a dumb waste of money**," as they often serve as substitutes for **genuine success and self-worth**.
* 👜 Designer brands charge a premium for status, but there are **high-quality alternatives available at lower prices** that do not rely on logos for validation.
* 🚗 The enjoyment of luxury items should stem from **personal appreciation** rather than the desire to **impress others**, as seen in the case of celebrities like John Mayer.
* 🛡 Protecting personal data is crucial, especially with the rise of **data breaches**, and services like Incog can assist in **removing your information from data brokers**.
* 🌟 Money should be viewed as a **tool for options and experiences** rather than a means to display wealth; prioritizing **experiences over material goods** leads to **greater happiness**.
* 👫 Spending money on shared experiences and small pleasures enhances enjoyment, while **anticipating events can bring even more happiness** than the events themselves.

what's up you guys, it's Graham here. And in the last few months, you might have come across one of these videos: the importance of looking poor. After all, when you really dig into it, it is insane how many people these days are pretending to be rich, digging themselves deep in debt for the sake of trying to impress others and giving the illusion of success when in person they're absolutely broke. In fact, there's a very specific reason why some of the wealthiest people are often the most unassuming, who don't stand out, who blend in with the crowd, who look like just another average Joe, even though they have tens of millions of dollars in their bank account. That's why it's so important that we expose the truth, discuss the red flags that most people are completely oblivious about, and then break down the four habits that's not only going to save you a lot of money but also make you a lot of money. Because as soon as you start focusing on building wealth and not looking wealthy, I promise your entire life is going to

change so here is exactly what you need to know, and also a big thank you to Incog for sponsoring today's video, but more on that later. First, here's my controversial opinion: I think consumerism, designer brands, and luxury goods are a dumb waste of money. In most cases, a logo is used as a substitute to showcase success, wealth, and values, to be able to earn the respect of others. I think subconsciously, if we really dig into it, giant designer logos signal that you have discretionary income to spend. If you have discretionary income to spend, therefore you must be wealthy, and if you're wealthy, you must be someone of importance and value, even though the two shouldn't have any correlation whatsoever. But people fall for it. And no, before I get the haters saying, But Graham, designer brands last so much longer, and they're much better quality than fast fashion. Yeah, there is an element to that which is true. Designer brands are much higher quality than that of, let's say, H&M. But if quality is

really what you're after and not the logo. Why not opt for a brand like Aelan, which is arguably much higher quality than other name brand designers for half the cost? Or brands like Alden, again high-quality craftsmanship but a few hundred dollars less expensive? Or is it because people can't tell that you spent $500 on a pair of shoes? Look, the reason why brands like Gucci press so hard and charge so much money while prominently displaying their logos everywhere is because they're what's known as an aspirational brand, which according to Wikipedia is a brand that a large segment of its exposure audience wishes to own but for economic reasons cannot. The premise of this type of marketing is that the purchase decisions are made at an emotional level to enhance self-concept. Essentially, designer brands, luxury goods, and loud fashion charges a premium for status. It's a very expensive and very difficult way to show off, and the type of person who needs to show off is likely the same person who's having a difficult time conveying value.

to others, or they feel better about themselves to be able to have something that other people can't. Now, obviously, I'm making some sweeping generalizations here that do not apply to every single person who's ever bought designer clothing with a prominent logo because people exist who genuinely like the fashion. They are doing it for themselves, and they're not trying to show off to anybody. They just like it for them. But with that said, I do find it very interesting that the upper echelon luxury brands rarely ever have large logos on them. They're very discreet, they're insanely expensive, and the type of people spending $950 for a pair of nylon shorts are usually the ones who don't want or need to show off to others. Like, here's a $350 t-shirt, not a logo in sight, and no one has any clue that you've just spent almost $400 with tax. As most of their clothing flies completely under the radar, or you could buy this and everyone knows you've spent

at least $500 if it isn't fake. Even though this sounds like I might be hating on luxury brands, at the core, to me, this is just a case of prioritizing why you want something, what value a certain item brings you, and if you're doing it for yourself or if you're doing it because other people associate a positive meaning to it and therefore to you by extension. This is why a Lamborghini Urus is able to charge you over $300,000 when an Audi RS Q8 is an identical, if not superior, car for half the price. To me, all that matters is that you genuinely are enjoying what you buy and that you're not doing it for the wrong reasons, to impress others, to fill a void, or because that's what other successful people are buying. If you truly enjoy spending money in a category because that's what you like, regardless of what other people think, including myself, go for it. But there is a fine line between having a deep respect for a brand and using it as a way to

compensate for a lack of external validation. John Mayer, I think, is a great example of this. He has a very extensive watch collection worth an excess of $10 million, but when he speaks, you can tell he deeply appreciates the craftsmanship, history, and story that comes with every timepiece. He's doing it for himself because he likes it. Compare that to someone else who might drop half their salary on a watch because all of a sudden it became super trendy, or John Mayer likes it, so I got to like it too. Anyway, my point being is that anytime I want something, I really have to think to myself, Do I want it because I genuinely want it, or do I want it because other people want it, and I think I want it because of that? Really, at the end of the day, if the purchase is to buy validation or is coming from a place of insecurity, it's not worth it. If it's to show off, it's not worth it. If you're paying extra for a logo to advertise to other people, it's

probably best to reconsider if that's something you want to be aligned with, or if there's something else that would provide you better, more long-lasting value instead. And when it comes to that, along with subscribing and hitting the like button if you haven't done that already, I have some rather strong feelings. Here's the thing: even though money isn't everything, the reality is it can solve a lot of problems. For example, data breaches are rising, with the number of victims having increased over 41% since 2021. And if you don't think it'll happen to you, think again. Whether you like it or not, your personal information is most likely floating around on the internet somewhere, in the hands of third parties, data brokers, spammers, and other people who may want to target you. In terms of what they have, that could be your full name, social security number, date of birth, home address, phone numbers, email addresses; the list goes on. Now, even though this sounds like an alarming problem, the good news is that you have a right to protect your privacy.

and request the data Brokers delete the information they have about you. Our sponsor, Incog, helps you do exactly that. They do all the dirty work for you by reaching out to data Brokers on your behalf, requesting your personal data be removed, and dealing with any objections that websites or data Brokers might have. And since many data Brokers continue collecting information even after they've removed it, Incog makes sure your information stays off the market by conducting repeated removal requests. All you have to do is create an account, grant them the right to work for you, and sit back while they keep you updated every step of the way. Unfortunately, it just seems like websites experience data breaches on a regular basis, and being able to cut down on spam phone calls, emails, and phishing attempts is priceless. Not to mention, if you don't make an active effort to remove your information, it's just going to keep happening. So if you're interested in having your personal data taken down, you could get 60% off their annual plan when you go to

incognito /gr and use the code Graham. They also have a 30-day money-back guarantee, so you can always try it risk-free to see if you like it. Again, the link is down below in the description, or you could go to incognito.com and sign up today. Thank you so much, and now let's get back to the video. All right, so in terms of this looking poor topic, here's what I realized. Like I mentioned earlier, money is at the core just a tool. There are good ways to use it and bad ways to use it. Like you wouldn't use a fork to go and dig a hole, so why would you use money for anything other than what it's really good at? Well, what it's really good at is not giving you confidence, is not making you fulfilled, and it isn't fulfilling a sense of superiority. Instead, it's just really good at giving you options. More money gives you the option to pursue whatever you enjoy the most. It gives you the option to be able to stay up late or

sleep in if that's how you feel. It gives you the option to spend your day however you want. So, if you spend your discretionary income on anything other than something that's giving you more options, you are in effect wasting it. Like when it comes to myself, I see money as a way to say yes to the things that I thoroughly enjoy. I have the flexibility to pursue what I find the most meaningful. I could say no to something if it doesn't align with my goals, and that in turn allows me to focus more on what I do enjoy, which oddly enough, as a byproduct, I wind up making more money because I just really love every single day that I'm doing what I enjoy. None of that would have been possible, by the way, if I didn't aggressively save when I was younger, again for the purpose of eventually one day being able to buy options. As an example of this, I saved pretty much all my money working part-time throughout high school. That eventually wound up floating the beginning of my real estate agent career.

because that's what I wanted to do. From there, I saved up nearly all of my money to be able to purchase my first rental property, to be able to earn some residual income, even if I didn't make a sale. After that, I continued saving as much as I could so that I could spend my evenings making YouTube videos instead of expanding my career in real estate, even when YouTube wasn't making any money. Of course, that never would have been possible had I built a lifestyle of high overhead, excessive spending, and luxury that I never needed in the first place. That kept me tied down because that's not the most effective tool for money to be used for. And by living extremely frugally, the lifestyle of choice became possible. I just felt like buying designer clothes is not going to give me more freedom. Blowing money every weekend is not going to give me more optionality. And living lavishly is not going to make me any happier than I already am. On top of that, I suppose one of the biggest eye-openers is that the

real enjoyment doesn't come from buying things. It's purely from the option to buy something if you really want it. I tend to think that once you have enough money to be able to reasonably afford just about anything you'd want to buy, the desire to buy a lot of those things just goes away. There's nothing to prove, there's no one to impress, there's no reason to show off, there's nothing you need to show externally. It just seems not as desirable as it once was when you couldn't afford. My experience has been beyond the basics of food, shelter, and healthcare. The option to do something is really all you need, and your priorities begin to shift away from buying stuff for the sake of buying stuff to prioritizing your time, family, health, and doing what you just want to do. And look, don't get the wrong idea. It is perfectly fine to buy things or splurge on an extravagant luxury item. I mean, gosh, I got the Ford GT because I like the car and thought it would be a good

investment, but you're never going to find me driving this thing to the club or down in the Las Vegas trip revving the engine. I bought it purely because I respect the history of what this car represents. Even though on YouTube, Lamborghinis are way better for getting views and more eyeballs, or I guess even the previous home I bought visually, it's no different from something that costs $300,000 in the Midwest, but it was in a great location, and I could walk to a lot of things. Not to mention psychologically, there are ways that you could spend your money to increase your happiness or quality of life. Like according to the Journal of Consumer Psychology, just follow this if you want to use your money effectively. First, spend your money on experiences and not things. It was found that the effect of buying material things quickly fades over time, but experiences are something that our minds can continually look back on, bringing us continued positive emotions. Not only that, but we're more likely to recall experiences of how we felt and not what

we bought, and that has a more longstanding impact on how we feel. Alternatively, you could also find ways to do things and spend money to get the exact same experience for a fraction of the price. Like, instead of spending $800 for plane tickets to go to Japan, you could open up a credit card, get a sign-up bonus, and then all of a sudden get the flights and hotel for free. Second, it helps to spend money with people. There was a study in which people were given money and then tracked in terms of how they spent it, either on themselves or with other people. Not surprisingly, the group that spent their money with other people reported much higher levels of enjoyment and self-esteem than the ones that spent it on themselves. Really, anything we do that improves our connections with others is also going to make us a lot happier. Third, it also helps to spend frequently on small things rather than infrequently on large things. The reality is our minds have an ability to adjust to even the best experiences money could buy, and

then all of a sudden, that becomes normal, and it takes even more extravagance to feel the same way. However, it was found that our mind is much less likely to adapt to a variety of small purchases instead of a big one because the small purchases are less likely to be the exact same every single time. That going out to dinner with friends or going and seeing a movie is going to be different every time you do it, but the Gucci belt is still going to be the exact same Gucci belt. And finally, fourth, it's really important to enjoy the process along the way. Research has shown that people derive an incredible amount of enjoyment and happiness from anticipating an event, sometimes even more than the event itself. It's kind of like going on a one-day vacation right now with no notice or doing that same vacation next weekend plus getting all the enjoyment to being able to look forward to it. In these cases, looking forward to an event brings more enjoyment than being able to look back on it. That's why these days I'm only going to

spend my money on things that are important to me and never for something to try to seek the approval of others. As some random examples of this, that might include buying extra leg room on the airplane, trying out a new flavor of protein powder to use in my coffee instead of using coffee creamer, which by the way, you got to try, is very good, getting healthier foods at the grocery store, upgrading my gym membership to something that's slightly nicer, treating friends when we're out at dinner, or even just spending an extra day in a location when we're traveling for the podcast just to be able to see something new. So hopefully, if you follow these suggestions and think very carefully about where you allocate your money, you're going to get a lot further from it. You'll get a lot more enjoyment, and hopefully, in the future, you'll get a lot more options. Like I've said, money's not for the purpose of looking rich or flaunting. It's not to fill any efficiencies or voids in your life, and it's not meant to be a Band-Aid to cover

up something that's lacking. Otherwise, the richest people in the world would be the happiest, and that's obviously not the case. So, with that said, you guys, thank you so much for watching. As always, remember to subscribe, hit the like button if you haven't done that already. Thank you so much, and until next time.

Why “Looking Poor” Is Important

As a 30 year old real estate agent and investor who started working in real estate shortly after turning 18, with over $120,000,000 in residential real estate sales since 2008, I've created this channel to share my successes, failures, and experiences in the real estate industry and to support others who are thinking of getting into the business. Oh, and I'm also obsessed with cars. A lot. So expect to see some cars uploaded to my channel. A lot. And Subscribe. Because all the cool kids are doing it.  

Feel free to follow me on Snapchat / Instagram: GPStephan

Graham Stephan

Many people are pretending to be rich, going into debt to impress others, while the wealthiest individuals often blend in and look unassuming.

Consumerism and luxury brands are criticized for being a waste of money, as they use logos to signal wealth and success.

Instead of designer brands, opting for high-quality, less expensive alternatives can be a smarter financial choice.

The Psychology Behind Buying Luxury Brands

Luxury brands often have discreet logos and high price tags, attracting customers who don't need to show off.

The value of an item should come from genuine enjoyment, not from seeking external validation.

It's important to differentiate between wanting something for personal satisfaction and wanting it to impress others.

The Importance of Protecting Personal Data

Data breaches are on the rise, with victims increasing by over 41% since 2021, and personal information is often exposed online.

Incog offers a solution by requesting the removal of personal data from brokers and conducting repeated removal requests to keep information off the market.

The service provides a 60% discount on the annual plan and a 30-day money-back guarantee, making it a risk-free option to protect personal data.

Money should be seen as a tool to create options and pursue what you enjoy, rather than a means to excessive spending.

Aggressive saving in youth can lead to greater flexibility and the ability to invest in meaningful opportunities.

True enjoyment comes from having the option to buy, not from the act of buying itself, and prioritizing time, family, and personal fulfillment becomes more important than material possessions.

Spending Money for Happiness: Effective Strategies

Investing in experiences rather than material things leads to lasting positive emotions and happiness.

Spending money with others enhances enjoyment and self-esteem, while frequent small purchases provide varied experiences and prevent adaptation.

Lastly, anticipating events can bring more joy than the events themselves, making the process of planning and looking forward to them equally important.

It's important to spend money on things that truly matter to you, rather than seeking approval from others.

Examples include upgrading your travel experience, trying new food options, and investing in healthier choices.

The goal is to find enjoyment and create more options for yourself, rather than using money to fill voids or flaunt wealth.