Living with Parents: Balancing Savings and Relationships

Seager should balance saving for a home with maintaining healthy relationships while living with in-laws.

### Pros and Cons of Living with In-Laws to Save for a House
* 💰  Living with in-laws to save for a house down payment can be a financially savvy move, especially with **high housing costs and interest rates**.
* 🏠  1/3 of young adults (18-34) live with parents or in-laws, with **64% finding it a positive financial experience**.
* 🧠  It's important to balance **financial benefits** with potential strain on **relationships and independence**.
* 💸  The longer you can handle the situation without it negatively impacting relationships, the **better for your financial future**.
* 🏦  Saving for a larger down payment (e.g., **5% or 10% instead of 3%**) can significantly **reduce interest costs** on a mortgage.
* 💡 " If you can make it work where you're living with your folks, you're living with your in-laws, and it's not costing them money, and it provides an economic incentive where it's not more expensive for them, and you are able to save, the **longer you can do that, the better**.
* 🧭  Pay attention to emotional cues (e.g., **spouse or in-laws showing signs of strain**) to know when it's time to move out.
* 🔑 " Just know the limits of that and **maximize each decade of your life** is the biggest takeaway.

[Music] I've got one teed up for you. Seager asks, My wife and I both work full-time and are currently living with her parents to save up for a down payment on a house. We can afford 3% down but can also stay and save more. I don't want to jump the gun, but being in our own home is a dream of ours. How do we decide how long to wait? Man, okay, so this one, this one's unique, and I feel like Brian, tell me if you agree with this. We're hearing this more and more, a lot of, I'm going to say young people or just people sort of early on in their life, early on and like getting started, are kind of faced with this issue. Hey, I've got this opportunity to live with my parents, and is that a good thing? Is it a bad thing? Should I do it? Should I not do it? And then how long should I do? Do you feel like that's super common now, by the way? Do you blame them? I mean, with

interest rates being as high as they have. I mean, the prices are through the roof. So, I think that this is actually a creative kind of a financial hack to save some money, assuming you have a healthy relationship and this opportunity's out there. But I have to put a big butt. This is one of those things where you guys have heard me talk about it because I love the math of money, but I also think about the mindset of things and that you want to balance both of those items. And I want you to be able to save. That's the financial mutant in you that wants to save, get a little leg up on this whole housing situation that we have by living with relatives or people who care about. But when you recognize, because the research shows, Bo, that a third of young adults are living in this scenario, 18 to 34 years of age. So, one out of three have gone back home or live with parents post-college, and 64% have said this is a very positive experience financially. But there was a

slight uptick on those that described that the relationship had some issues, as well as their independence had issues. So just like I tell you, I want you to maximize your 20s, I want you to maximize your 30s, your 40s, every decade. I want you to not have regret in the future. You just need to realize when have you stayed too long that it starts jeopardizing or impacting the in-law relationship, your relationship with your spouse. Because what I find interesting is that Seager is asking because he's the one living with the in-laws, and it sounds like he's happy. I mean, you could hit the tone, or maybe it was Reeby who had put that tone in there, but it seemed like Seager, because I guess you could have read it a different way, I'm living with the in-laws. When do we need to move out? Um, I, I, I think that that's the guidance. And look, I don't mind sharing, Bo. I lived after college. I had my roommates.

and I were all lined up, but we the place we found out that we could get a lease on. I don't think it became available until August 1st, so me and my roommates, we made other arrangements, and I went home for a month or two. But you know what I did with that money? Bankrolled it right, saved it. I saved up, and I bought a leather recliner. My other roommate, Rob, bought a leather couch, used, because that was the only leather couch we could afford, was a used one that he found. I think he found it in the newspaper, because this is before we had all the Facebook and everything. Um, and then, uh, my other buddy Jeff, who we, I think he bought the, and this is before Ikea became popular in the states. Everybody used to have plywood entertainment centers. These things were, you know, they cost like $200, and it was also the only support on it really was for that huge tube TV that you'd put in the center. Um, that's what we did. We all, we kind of house

hacked living with relatives and other things so that we could have a little bit extra for that starter apartment. See, I love this mindset, and I agree with everything you said. I think my answer is a little bit different; it's just in the margin. My answer would be how long can you handle the pain, and the longer that you can handle the pain without it breaking you, the better off you'll set yourself up. I mean, you think about in all kinds of training, like whether you're in football season doing two-a-days or you're in the Navy SEAL going through buds training. They want that to be as hard as possible so that when you get on the other side of it, you've been prepared for everything. Well, I think what's great about this specifically is with interest rates as high as they are, with housing being as expensive as it is, if you can make it work where you're living with your folks, you're living with your in-laws, and it's not costing

them money, and that's the big disclaimer I want to put on there because if you're living with your parents and they are subsidizing your lifestyle, or your in-laws are covering the grocery bill and covering the utilities and all this stuff, that's a different thing. But if you are making it at least net neutral for them, and it provides an economic incentive where it's not more expensive for them, and you are able to save, the longer you can do that, the better. Because if you just look at the mathematics of a 30-year advertising loan, yeah, you can put 3% down, but if you put down 5%, that's going to save you a lot of interest. If you can get to 10%, that's going to save you a lot of interest, or at least get those dollars working for you somewhere else. I think if it works, and if it's comfortable, and if it's not disadvantaging your family, and your relationship's not suffering, and you can

deal with it. This is one of those things I think that very likely your future self could look back and say, Man, I'm glad I did that. Just make sure you dial up your EQ. If you start noticing that your spouse is having issues, or maybe your parents or your in-laws, depending upon which side of the family that you're staying with, that they start to be some resentment or some bristling of the hair, pay attention to that. And that's when you probably realized, 'cause I tried to do it in the content meeting. I said, You know, Ben Franklin has that statement that seafood and house guests, they both start to smell after a short period of time. So, it's um, so just be tune up your EQ skills because that's the thing. Like, I have even some neighbors right now that the in-laws' house flooded. There was like a plumbing issue, and it was supposed to have been a two-month repair, and I think it's been six months at this point. And

You know you can have a very healthy relationship, and I even think a lot of cultures embrace it, and it's a healthy thing to have an extended family relationship because it helps out with the kids and so forth. But just know the limits of that and maximize each decade of your life is the biggest takeaway. Love it.

Continue Living With In-Laws to Save for a Larger Down Payment?

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The Money Guy Show

The Dilemma of Living with Parents to Save for a Home

Many young adults are living with their parents to save for a down payment on a house, a common scenario given the high cost of housing and interest rates.

This arrangement can be a creative financial strategy, with 64% of young adults reporting a positive financial experience.

However, it's important to balance the desire to save with the potential drawbacks of the living situation.

Navigating Independence and Living Situations in Your 20s and 30s

There has been a slight increase in individuals acknowledging issues in their relationships and independence.

It's important to maximize each decade of your life to avoid future regrets and recognize when it's time to move on from a living situation that may be impacting your relationships.

The speaker shares their own experience of living with roommates and making financial arrangements to save money and furnish their home.

Living with relatives can provide financial relief and help save for a starter apartment.

The longer you can handle the discomfort of this arrangement without it being a burden on your family, the better it can set you up for the future.

Making the living situation net neutral for your relatives while saving money can lead to a more favorable financial position when it comes to making a larger down payment on a home.

Navigating Family Stays with Emotional Intelligence

Staying with family can lead to tension and resentment, so it's important to be aware of any changes in their behavior.

Paying attention to these signs can help you navigate the situation better.

Developing your emotional intelligence (EQ) is key to managing potential conflicts during extended visits.

The Importance of Extended Family Relationships

Extended family relationships can be beneficial for raising children and are embraced by many cultures.

It's important to recognize the limits of these relationships.

Maximizing each decade of life is a key takeaway for maintaining a healthy balance.