Initially, it will be uncomfortable because change is always change. So, if you are leaving a job, if you know you are ending a relationship, or if you are trying to get rid of one of your really bad habits, then at first, everything will only get worse. But the path to reaching the next height depends only on you. One of the biggest traps we fall into is excessive hedging. People think that burnout comes from long hours of work, but that's not true. Burnout comes from friction and tension; it arises from not being able to meet expectations. If I had stayed in that first job for another three years, I would have burned out at 22. I am doing what my heart desires, and I have more energy; it is an inexhaustible resource, like willpower, endurance, or fossil fuel. I graduated from Fordham University and got a safe corporate job. I didn't handle it very well, but I tried. I endured it, and after about

For a year, we had an off-site seminar in Napa. We spent three days in conference rooms listening to presentations. You know, it was such an old-school PowerPoint, with 87 words on a slide, and the person speaking read every word at 50% speed. It was just brutal. About a day and a half into it, I devised an escape plan. So, I was sitting in the room, putting on my suit, hiding my notebook under my suit to leave no traces. Then, when we had a break at 10:45 in the morning, I made sure I was the last one to go into the bathroom and hid in a stall. I waited about three minutes for everyone to leave, and then, just to be safe, I waited another five minutes. At some point, it hit me that I, a twenty-seven-year-old vice president, was hiding in a stall in the men's bathroom from my own company. Nevertheless, I came out, saw no one, climbed the back stairs, and headed to my...

I take off my suit and tie and put on my running clothes because I'm planning to go for a run. I put on my sneakers, shorts, and tie my hair back, then I go down the back stairs, walk around, and head out to the Silverado trail. I couldn't find my T-shirt, and then I realize that I must have forgotten it, but it's not that important. It's 25 degrees outside, and so I start my run, and it's just magnificent. My playlist is amazing, and I'm having a great time. During this run, I begin to experience the runner's high that some of you may have felt at some point. Suddenly, a voice comes to me, and this voice says, You know, you don't have to do this. It's not you. You shouldn't be doing this. It's not what you should be doing. I may have heard it before, but this time it was very strong. I realized that this voice was speaking to me, and it was my truth. A wave of calmness and peace washed over me.

Once I finished my run, I understood that I was about to listen to this voice. During this run, there were two memorable moments that stay with me to this day. It's the end of the run; I step out and catch my breath, then I want to return to experience the runner's high again. But at the very end, one of my favorite songs comes on my playlist, called Eye of the Tiger by Survivor. If you haven't watched the movie Rocky, I recommend you do; that's where Sylvester Stallone gets beaten up, then he comes back, trains hard, and this song plays. At that moment, I say to myself, Alright, I feel it. I'm running, and then I see a long glass building on the trail. It's as if I'm running inside it; I see myself in that building, the sun is shining on me, and I'm sweating. I take off my bandana, I'm shirtless, and I look like Rocky. I start to mimic what Rocky does; I just look in the mirror and begin to do some of those moves, and then I feel it.

I feel it, and I see something moving in the window. I take off my sunglasses, lower them, and look. At that moment, all the energy leaves my body. I realize what has happened: I had been running for two hours. The meeting I was attending had already ended; they broke for lunch, and they go to another hall for lunch. This is a restaurant with a window overlooking the vineyards. So, I quietly returned to the meeting and started shadowboxing without a shirt in front of the whole company. That was the first reason why this moment stuck with me. The second reason it stuck with me is that I understood I heard that voice, which was my inner truth. That day, I made a promise to myself that I would continue to listen to that voice and explore it. I suppose I'll start by allowing myself to leave this job. You know, I've been teaching here for 22 years, and during this time, I have met a huge number of students.

I realized that within all of you and all of us, there is a constant conflict happening, unfolding between two forces. The first force is the instinct for survival, which has been with us for thousands, if not tens of thousands, of years. It's something like that noise in the bushes that could kill you in ancient times. It wants to instill in you fear, doubt, anxiety, and worry. And just as you start to run away, you hear the voice of fear and the inner critic, which sounds loud and constant in your mind. This voice is always with you. There is another voice, the second voice, and philosophers have been writing and talking about this voice for thousands of years. This voice has been called by many names: intuition, source, God, Universe, your soul, your true self, inner wisdom. There are many names for this voice. This voice is a bit quieter, and it is not always directly in your head in many cases.

It manifests in the body, it manifests in your firm interior. In your chest, you feel it, and unfortunately, this first voice often drowns us out. The thing is, the voice of fear will lead you to a life that is too small, and you know this. Perhaps you already know it because you feel it. You feel this conflict, this disagreement, and tension when you are in such a position, when you do something that is too little. If you want to achieve full power in this one life of yours, the secret lies in your inner voice; that is your true self. Here lie your dreams, your path, and your energy. When you stop denying who you truly are, there will be no limit to what you can achieve. So today, I want to talk to you about how to access this voice. And today, I make three promises to myself. Are you with me? There will be just three. The first promise that will help you...

getting out of a difficult situation. The second thing that will help you is to find your inner voice. And the third is the promise to help you follow it. Then you will be able to use this source of energy not episodically, not randomly, not on the go, but purposefully and regularly. You will be able to feel the full extent of what you can achieve in this life.

So, let's make this first promise: to remove the nail from your head. This promise will help you not to get stuck. A few years ago, a video appeared in which a woman is talking to her boyfriend. She says, I feel this pressure, I have a headache, I can't sleep, and she looks as if she is hopeless. Her boyfriend looks at her, a bit puzzled, and says, Well, you know, you could remove the nail from your head. You see how she turns, and you realize that there is indeed a nail sticking out of her head, and it seems completely obvious. Then she says that it's not about the nail at all, and she...

She wants to talk about anything except what will truly help her get out of this deadlock. Unfortunately, this happens to many of us most of the time. We walk around with a nail in our heads. Sometimes that nail is as obvious as in this video; we know what it is, we just can't deal with it. But our nail is what prevents us from moving forward, and until we remove it, we won't reach our full potential. Therefore, nails can be divided into four groups. The first is harmful habits that prevent us from fully realizing our potential. The second is unresolved past experiences that may have happened a long time ago, but we just cut them off and didn't deal with them. The third thing that hinders us is rules or assumptions about how our lives should unfold, which are imposed by our parents or society. We impose all these limitations on ourselves with our own rules. And the fourth is fear, and specifically, fear.

It makes you feel stuck in place. Specifically, in my case, it was a job that I didn’t like, but I was afraid to leave, so I stayed in it. You might be in relationships that you shouldn’t be in, and you are afraid to leave them, so you remain in those relationships. Or it could be any decision that you need to make, but you are scared, and therefore, you just stay paralyzed. You need to think about these nails, just like the guy in this video. Why not just pull that thing out, right? Why is it so difficult? There are two reasons why it’s hard for us to pull out these nails. First, we don’t acknowledge that we have them. So the first way to pull the nail out of your head is to tell the truth to yourself. Let me give you an example of such a nail: I have a close friend, and she has insomnia, and this insomnia is just controlling her life. She can only sleep a few hours a night; she is tired all day, and it is absolutely tormenting her.

She went to the doctor, and the doctor made her answer questions about what she eats, what she drinks, what time she goes to bed, and so on. Then the doctor tells her, I have good news for you, and I know how you can cure your insomnia. She responds, Great! I really want to hear this. The doctor says, Well, first you need to stop drinking four to five glasses of wine, at least not within an hour before bedtime. This will help you, at least with your insomnia. She replies, That's a terrible idea. She consults four more doctors, and in the end, she has a bunch of medications that she keeps in her cabinet. Then she starts building a helmet around her nail. In general, she has all these medications that she takes, she goes to bed at a certain time, she can't go out until late, and so on. During the day, she needs sleep; she is always tired, so her energy goes into protecting this nail lodged in her.

instead of just taking it out. The reason we don’t remove it, as I mentioned, is that we haven’t admitted to ourselves that we have this problem. We haven’t said out loud, “I have a problem with alcohol,” or “I am in a relationship that I shouldn’t be in,” or “I have a job that doesn’t give me the energy to pull out the nail.” The first step is to start speaking your truth, and that is already half the battle. 

The second reason we don’t pull out the nail is that life will initially get worse. So, when we heal, if you think of it as a model of your life where at any moment you reach a plateau, the path to the next plateau involves something that will initially make you feel worse. Those nails remain, and the way to pull them out is almost always associated with the fact that it will be uncomfortable at first because change is always change. So, if you leave your job, if you know you need to end a relationship, or if you want to get rid of one of your really harmful habits, then...

At first, everything will only get worse. But the path to achieving the next height depends solely on you. First, you will have to deal with this downward path, and then you will reach another plateau, and you will have another one. Just realize that it will be worse at first. Everything you want often lies on the other side of what you fear. Right now, think about what you fear, and that is what you need to tackle. That is where your work lies. 

So, the first principle, if you want to live life to the fullest, is the promise I ask you to make to yourself tonight or today in general: to remove the nail from your head and do this work. It’s not very fun; it’s a way out of a difficult situation, out of your comfort zone. The next step will be to try to find your energy. So, first, we turn to our inner voice and try to get out of this difficult position, and then we listen to that voice. The second promise is to follow your energy.

not just follow their passion, but also communicate the importance of doing so. When I was giving public speeches, there was probably a moment in each speaker's talk where they mentioned their own version of following their passion. You've all heard something about this before, and in any graduation speech you watch, you'll find this phrase woven into their narrative. Let me explain why every speaker wants to convey this message.

For a significant part of my life, I was engaged in activities that drained my energy, and it was tough; it felt like a form of hard labor, and it truly was. It consumed a lot of my energy. I could fight against this with willpower for a while, but now I have spent a considerable amount of time in a field that gives me an enormous amount of energy, and this experience is incomparable to anything else. And that's what speakers are trying to share.

Hey, get up on this side and engage with what gives you energy. By the way, the reason they are on stage is that they made this decision, and that’s why they share this advice with you. However, this is very harmful advice: to follow your passion. Here’s why: it implies that you have only one passion, that you should know what it is by the time you turn 28, that you should do this for the next 40 years, and that you should know how to pursue it. But I don't believe that’s true. In my company, more than 500 entrepreneurs have built successful companies, and none of them followed that path. Even those who stand up and give you advice did not take that route. So instead, I want to suggest that you don’t necessarily follow that vague passion, which can be intimidating. Instead, just follow your energy, what gives you energy in the moment. So today, I want to do something with you.

упражнение, которое вы можете выполнить, касается жизни, в которой вы участвуете прямо сейчас. Для меня это было так: я работаю в корпорации, живу в районе залива и собираюсь расплатиться с долгами. Это жизнь номер один. Затем идут жизни со второй по девятую, и у вас всего два правила. Первое правило заключается в том, что все эти жизни должны начинаться с сегодняшнего дня, то есть вы не можете вернуться в прошлое, отмотать назад и выбрать именно то, что вам действительно очень нравится. Так что каждая из этих других жизней должна быть чем-то таким, что заставляет вас вскакивать с постели с утра, чтобы сделать это. Для меня это выглядело так: я уже поделился с вами жизнью номер один. Вторая жизнь — это открыть свою собственную компанию и стать сооснователем или генеральным директором. В третьем случае я хотел бы стать профессором в Стэнфорде или просветленным. Пятая жизнь — стать диджеем в Вегасе. Шестая — быть...

As a writer, social media influences you to become an influencer or the author of a channel similar to others. You know, you come up with things that concern you, and then when you do this, you find things that energize you. Energy is the language of your soul, that second voice that I referred to that day while running. It speaks to you through your energy; it doesn't use words. It uses your whole body and shows you things that resonate with you. And here it is, with the world around you, when something captivates you, it's your soul speaking to you; that's its voice.

So, you have just created, with these nine lives, nine things that excite you. This is how you will listen to your soul. There are two things you can do with this exercise. The first is that as you move along the first path, you will draw from other lives, which will give you an immense amount of energy. You can play the guitar or engage in sports.

writing books, blogging, teaching, Ford and Dale attract something similar; your energy becomes contagious. Your last spark, burned in action, will lead to delight in your entire life. So, this is the first way you can take advantage of this exercise. The second way, which I believe is even more effective, is to ask yourself the question: out of all these nine lives, what would I do if I knew I wouldn’t fail? Which of the lives would I choose? You silence your voice of fear and truly connect with what is your most cherished dream. Today, in the 2024 session, I would argue that at some point in your life, you will find the path you want to take and what you would do if you knew you wouldn’t fail. I believe that is where you will find your greatest dream. The human soul needs something to hope for, and that is why you want to continue pouring into...

Take your energy. So, if you want to live life to the fullest in this one precious life of yours, promise that you will pull the nail out of your head and move towards the things that give you energy. The third promise is to go all the way. One of the biggest traps we fall into is excessive hedging. We have one foot in the deal and one foot out, asking ourselves whether it’s worth it or maybe it’s not; we are uncertain. We are somewhat involved, but not fully committed. We question if this is my job, or if I really know about these relationships. We are still waiting, thinking that at some point everything will become clear. I’m not sure if that will ever happen. Maybe I will do it; everything will be different once I finish with this. I want to say that Goethe said that as long as a person does not commit themselves to a cause, there will always be fluctuations, the possibility of retreat, and there will always be inefficiency. Unfortunately, most people spend a large part of their lives here, never having made the decision to fully commit.

experience, I was completely exhausted. It was an enormous waste of energy, and I realized I wouldn't achieve what I wanted. Half of me was here, and half of me was there. My story about how I started teaching began 22 years ago. I returned to Grozny, and the local newspaper wrote an article about me. I was 25 years old and I was buying a company, a Ford dealership, using a lot of debt and several credit cards. At that time, many things went wrong; most things went wrong. I was grateful for the opportunity to speak at the university. It was what I had dreamed of, and I decided it would be the coolest experience of my life. So, I walked into the classroom, and I was just overwhelmed by how terrible I was. It felt like my inner critic was tormenting me. I was 29 when I started teaching. I thought to myself, You haven't done anything; you have nothing to teach these students. Look at the guests who came before you; they are much more successful than you. I was awful, and just two days after my...

The professor conducts a case study, and one of the conclusions from Graham Weaver's case was that you don't need to have charisma or articulate speech to start a company. This is a true story, so it works in my favor; at least I thought so back then when we taught this to the students. So, it is completely true, but I was devastated. My inner critic told me, Graham, come back in 30 years, at least when you actually do something, when you have something to say. And this is a very common thing that our inner critic says. It has many tricks, and one of them is to utter the most dangerous words you can hear. At 22, I heard them more than once. You know, no student has ever told me, Graham, I have a dream that excites me, but I'm just giving up. I'm not going to do it. No student has ever said that. Instead, they just tell me, Not right now, and that’s exactly what my inner critic was saying to me.

My inner critic didn't say, You will never become a teacher. It said, Go and get 20 years of experience, figure all of this out, go and make sure everything is perfect, and after you are ready, then everything will be as it should be, and then you will go and do it. That's what my inner critic said; it's just fear in another form. That's all it is. A similar inner critic was present in one of my students named Sarah. I will call her Sarah. One time she called me and said, Hi, um, I really like your lectures. I replied that she was the only person who had ever told me that, so thank you. She added, But you know, I wanted to talk to you, and I thought she wanted to ask how to build a business, how to hire or fire employees, how to invest, or something like that. But she said, I want to hear how you overcame your fear of failure. You know, you started your business when you were 25. How did you manage it?

Gain confidence in yourself to do this, and I said, Okay, Sarah, let's try to do this. Why don't you write down everything you are afraid of? Because your fears have the greatest power over you when they are buried deep in your subconscious. It is then that your fears are most dangerous; it is then that they can control you. That's why, in our sessions, we work with limiting beliefs to pull them out of your mind or subconscious and write them down on paper. We did the same with Sarah; we examined all her fears, went through each one, and simply stripped those fears of their power. She felt much better and more confident. Then I asked her to tell me a bit about what she was trying to do. Well, you know, are you excited about this or something else? And then she just lit up and said she was very happy about it and was going to give it her all. You know, most...

Many of us say, I will start living when I pay off my debts, gain more experience, become more confident, when my parents start supporting me, when my boss allows me, when I move to a new city, or when my wedding takes place, when the kids grow up, or when the kids become adults and start earning, and so on. I have heard each of these phrases, not only the ones on the slide but many others during my coaching sessions. I have heard people say, That's when I will start, that's when I will take action, when one of these things happens. And you know what? That will never happen. All these phrases like later or not now will turn into never. 

Now, let's go back to the situation. Let me clarify: inspiration brings energy. You are ready to work as much as it takes. So, I asked, What’s the decision? I don’t understand what the problem is. About a month later, she sent me a note saying that she had made a decision.

To create a company, it just attracted initial capital. This has happened many, many times during my teaching. Giving advice to a student, I realized that I was actually giving advice to myself. Then I said that this applies to my teaching as well, and I decided that I would engage in this for as long as necessary and devote all my energy to it. 

So the next time it came to Graham Weaver at Stanford, at the end of the class, there is a five-minute segment in which the professor asks the guest if they have any advice for the students. I was going to write an article about overcoming the fear of failure without exaggeration. I spent 60 hours on that little five-minute segment at the end of the presentation, which no one pays attention to, but I was completely immersed in the work. Of course, many students started reaching out to me, and I began coaching them to help them overcome their fear of failure. Later, this lecture started being taught once a year, then three times a year.

Then, I started giving lectures, presenting reports, and attracting more and more students. Eventually, that very course I had once failed at the beginning became the course I teach today. So, no other ingredients are needed; this is all you need, and you already have them for the things that concern you. This happens when you are fully immersed in your work. When I completely immersed myself in my job, my personality suddenly changed. I am no longer sitting on the fence, pondering whether I should teach. At this moment, I am a teacher, and the conflict between my two voices dissipates because the voice of fear lost this battle. When you are fully engaged, it kneels down, and since you live in harmony with your second voice, conflicts become much less frequent. This doesn't mean you won't hear the pangs of doubt from your first voice; it just means you shouldn't let it take over.

It should now be easy, and you won't waste energy fighting against yourself when you are fully ready. If you have taken lessons from me or attended my lectures, you would know that I have more energy for teaching now than I did even 22 years ago. People confuse these concepts, thinking that burnout comes from long hours of work, but that is not the case. Burnout comes from friction, stress, and tension; it arises from the inability to meet expectations. If I had lasted three more years in that first job, I would have burned out. For 22 years, I have been doing what my heart desires, and I have more energy; it is an inexhaustible resource. Just like willpower, endurance, or fossil fuel, energy is abundant. It is love in motion, and the more you give, the more you receive in return. So, there is an abundance of energy coming back to you. I would say that you are that very person; this is the formula to start any journey you wish to embark on. You are the person who deserves a place in this.

в состоянии преодолеть любые преграды. Ваша мотивация, настойчивость, сила воли и характер таковы, что вы сможете принести это в следующее путешествие, в которое отправляетесь. Иногда это новое путешествие, но если вы будете там и будете в восторге от чего-то, то это будет достаточно. Это самая мощная сила, которая только может быть. Я открыл свою фирму в 25 лет, у меня не было других навыков, кроме этого. И когда я начинал преподавать в 29 лет, у меня не было других навыков, кроме этого. И этого не просто достаточно. Это самая мощная сила, которая только может быть. И это всё, что вам нужно, чтобы отправиться в путешествие, которое вы собираетесь пройти. Это всё, что вам нужно. Если вы хотите жить в полную силу, три обещания: пообещайте, что будете вытаскивать гвоздь из головы по ходу путешествия, особенно когда застрянете на пути к энергии. Тогда она придёт к вам. Когда вы начнёте чувствовать эту энергию, вы будете в состоянии преодолеть любые преграды.

Move towards it, especially towards what you would do if you knew you wouldn't fail. When you start moving in the direction of your dreams, when you put all your strength into it, you won't be lazy, and you'll start doing it right now. Two years ago, my son Chase, who is also here now, entered college, and it felt like someone had taken my heart and ripped it out. When that happened, I remember the first time I held him in my arms, how he communicated with gestures before he could speak. He would do things to get more—more apple slices, more fruit, more books—more of everything. He was so excited about it. I remember his first walk and the joy on his face. I remember teaching him to ride a bike, playing soccer with him, and eventually teaching him to drive. Then I remember the day he left for college and went to his dorm.

And then he completely left home and left, you know, an empty room for the first time in all this time, because he was no longer a part of my daily life. Then my son Blake also graduated from school this year; he is leaving, and it doesn’t get any easier for me. So, I started having an existential crisis, as if what was truly important to me had come to an end, and there was no new beginning. There was some finality to life that I think everyone experiences; maybe it’s a midlife crisis. I don’t know. So, I engaged in what anyone would do: I started searching for the meaning of life, something I had been doing my whole life. But gradually, I began to deepen it. I traveled to rural towns in Mexico, went to the jungles of Costa Rica, attended meditation retreats, and I had a meditation teacher. As you know, I have many coaches for leaders, and I just worked a lot. I read a lot, and...

I was looking for something, some of my favorite philosophers: Jesus, Aristotle, Buddha, Socrates, Alan Watts. Many have read about what they devised regarding the meaning of life. They were great individuals, and you know, these ideas about loving your neighbor, serving God, being present, suffering, and seeking the truth—all these great meanings. It is obvious that there is no single meaning of life. The meaning of life, as I see it, is that life is about living to the fullest. I believe that this power is already within you, and the path to it lies through your second voice. Your second voice is not only the way to access this power, but it will also show you where to direct it to have the greatest impact you can make in this world. This voice will start to reflect on a certain problem and recall the reasons why you feel stuck. This is a sign that...

what you have in your head is a nail, and your voice is only your second voice that wants you to remove it. So, make a promise to yourself that when this happens, you will pull the nail out of your head. This voice speaks to you in the language of energy. This way, you will know what it is saying: move towards that energy and promise that you will constantly move in the direction of what gives you energy, particularly that which you would do if you knew you wouldn't fail. Above all, this voice laughs for you to fully surrender to it and test yourself to the fullest. So, make a promise to yourself that you will not wait, that you will not say the words not now, but you will break through wherever you are in your life. I used to think that we had to make millions of decisions and that life was very complicated, but now, having lived on this earth for 52 years, I believe that if you want to live to the fullest...

To feel the full scale of what you can do in this one life you have, there is really only one decision to make: which voice you will listen to. Thank you.

Как жить полной жизнью? Лекция Стэнфордского университета. Грэм Уивер 2024 год

Как жить полной жизнью? Лекция Стэнфордского университета. Грэм Уивер 2024 год