this tension between the drive to do more, the acceptance of who we are, the wanting to show up in the world, and to give it everything that we've got, and the gratitude for the things that we already have, yeah, well, it is a constant tension. And I think you want to ultimately, I think you want to be biased on the being side of it. I mean, certainly if you've succeeded enough, right? Like, if you have a, if you recognize that you've won the lottery on some level, and you are in a position now where there are billions of people who would consider their prayers answered if they could trade places with you, right? And you, you, there'll be a time in your life where you would give anything to trade places with who you, who you are now, right? Like, when you're, you know, when you're in your last months of life and you're terminally ill, or you're, you know, you've lost someone very close to you. I mean, there's like, when you're having, when you have this moment in the sun where

basically, you're basically, things are basically going well, right? I think it's appropriate to have a module in your mind which continually pings you, which says like, If you can't enjoy this, right? Like, you know, if this is going to be wasted on you, you're never going to be happy, right? Like, this is the... You should be able to enjoy this part. Like, this is dessert, right? Dessert has arrived, and you... whatever story you have about all the other things you might do or become, this is really like, you know, this is a wonderful life, right? So, can you settle into this at all with your attention, right? And if you can't, I think that's the problem to recognize, right? Like, if the thing you should want to become is someone who's better at recognizing the beauty of your life moment to moment, right now, there's a paradox there that ultimately has to be overcome, right? Like, the wanting to become more spiritual, wanting to

become a great meditator. I wanted to become enlightened. That's, you know, a knot that gets untied, but it's a fairly, you know, refined one. Um, but it is, it's just totally appropriate to recognize this mismatch between what is objectively true of your life by reference, by comparison to anything else that is on the menu, and the general mediocrity of your way of being. You know, just the feeling, I mean. And so this is, again, this is dual down to you, not in big chunks, but in moments, right? Like this is not like the grand plan, like, Okay, I got my calendar out, this month is going to be about X, and now I'm going to nail X, right? It's much more a thousand lessons over the course of a day, right? Like, like, you have to just be attentive to moments where you miss it, and moments where you, and then, and then just recognizing that it's invade, it's available now, right? Like you were a moment ago, you were tied in a knot somehow for some reason.

you know, things were awkward or weird, and then, and then, and now you're back, right? So, like, I was coming to this interview, um, and I was late. I was 15 minutes late, you know, and I hate being late for whatever reason. And um, so I'm kind of rushing to get out of the house, and you know, my wife has got her own day ahead of her, and she's rushing to get out of the house, and we're sort of ping-ponging around each other, and we're kind of missing each other, and in and out of the bathroom, in and out of the closet, and I say goodbye to her, but it was a sort of a goodbye like, you know, I've just completely missed her, like this beautiful woman who I've decided to spend my life with, and like, where she's now just basically an obstacle I have to navigate around. So, this would be, you know, 30 seconds earlier than I would otherwise be if I just took a moment to

recognize how beautiful my life is, right? So I missed, I missed her, I miss her, I miss her, I missed her. And then at the penultimate moment, as I'm grabbing my keys, I'm like, Oh, here she is, right? And so I just stop her, I give her a kiss, and then I leave, right? And it's just the difference between finding that moment and not is enormous, right? And it's just, it's like the area under the curve could still suck a lot from, it's like in the beginning you might only have 20 moments like that a day, right? But the difference between being someone who never gets it clearly, right, and it never truly punctuates his busyness and ambition and disappointment and everything, every other, you know, module that's been installed with just clear, you know, clear contact with the beauty and sacredness of the present moment, that difference is enormous. And once you have those punctate moments, and again this is a meditation by another name, then you can have a hundred and then you

can have a thousand and then and then then the character of your life can more and more resemble the true Virtues Of Being even when you're still becoming and even when you have the whole apparatus of you've got employees you've got a calendar you've got slack is open all day it's like it's all that's happening you can still be someone who's basically already happy right you're like you're not leaning forward so much and when you do our leaning forward part of you recognizes okay what's this about like like you have a kind of mindfulness alarm that goes off when you're when you're obviously expecting to become Happy by the next thing right rather than be truly taken in by that dream part of you knows okay wait a minute like just said just correct your posture a little bit like you know that no matter how good this dinner is it's just going to be a dinner right and then you're going to be too full and then you're going to wish you hadn't eaten.

all that and then you're gonna find it hard to sleep and then and that so like you you know that there's it can't be a matter of of reaching and grabbing and and fully uh satisfying your desire again and again and again as a as a a way to finally become happy. There's got you have to find locate your satisfaction more and more in just the in in the state of being that is already here that's preceding the next change. Your debt your happiness can't be ultimately a matter of changing experience. It has to be a matter of recognizing the nature of experience now that it can be you know very easy to have a cynical take on that and say okay well it's easy for you to say a rich white guy who for whom everything's going great and nothing bad has yet happened and the worst thing that happened to you was on Twitter and so go [ __ ] yourself uh but no first of all many bad things have happened. I know what it's like to lose someone close to

me I know what it's like to worry that your kid is really sick. I know what it's like to be waiting for the MRI of like, like there's all these moments where you know, even the luckiest among us know what it's like to live in with real uncertainty and the knowledge that you know, ultimately every bad thing, some version of every bad thing is going to happen. I mean, even if you're the luckiest and healthiest and richest, you know, then you're just going to be sitting by the phone, you know, hearing that all your friends have died, right? Like if you live to be 120 in perfect health, you know, you're Peter Attia and you've, you've uh, you know, you're still doing kettlebells at 120, which I hope you keep them in, yeah, yeah, I hope you are Peter and Andrew. Um, then you're just going to be getting, you know, voicemails and texts and whatever else exists at that point, hearing that all these people you loved have disappeared.

right, so no one gets out of here without a real encounter with Greek-level tragedy. And the question is, is it possible to have a mind that can embrace that with equanimity, compassion, love, and tranquility? Or do you just have to pretend none of that's going to happen? The normal mode is to try to be lucky enough so that you can pretend hard enough and long enough that none of that [__] applies to me, right? Like, I'm just gonna, you know, I'm gonna stay healthy for as long as I can stay healthy. I'm not going to think about cancer until somebody has cancer. Like, it's like, I'm just gonna extract as much pleasure as I possibly can in the moment. And, you know, look, that Bugatti over there is mine, right? You know, so it's like, that's the at best, that's impermanent, right? Even if that was as satisfying as someone could pretend, and we actually know it's not, and you can know that from

the inside. The more you have those experiences, the it's impermanent, you know. I mean, it's like a certain point. Andrew Tate is going to be the 80-year-old with bad tattoos, right? Like, it's just not. It's like, it's not. It doesn't scale like that. You need another gear, and there are many names for this. I mean, wisdom is one name, spirituality, enlightenment, awakening, meditation. All of these concepts, you know, psychedelic experiences, all of these tools and concepts are triangulating on a part of the map where one's well-being isn't contingent upon changes in experiences. There's a recognition that is possible about the nature of conscious life itself that is fulfilling, giving ourselves a good enough reason to just be here in the present moment. Yeah. In other news, this episode is brought to you by Element. Element is the way that I've started my day every single morning for over three years now. It is the best hydration drink that I've ever found.

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If You Feel Like Your Life Sucks - Watch This | Sam Harris

Bonjour I'm Chris, Host of the Modern Wisdom Podcast. Understanding the world is hard, this channel should help.