I feel like a small grass growing by the side of the road in life. If you say it's nothing, life has no value. To some extent, there is no value even worth committing suicide. That's why I don't commit suicide, you know? There's no value worth living longer for, so I don't struggle to live longer. There's no value worth dying for, so I don't struggle to die. Just waking up is good enough for me. It's nice to be able to see the sun, nice to see people, nice to be able to eat, nice to be able to breathe like this, nice to be able to breathe, I don't really try to make things better. Instead, I don't really think about harming myself. If you see a bad attitude, it's annoying. Oh, what's that? Then, who loses in the end? It's the one who is tormenting someone. Tormenting oneself is tormenting someone, so I won't do such things.

I have no value to be bothered by something that bothers me. There is a reason to be bothered. I won't be bothered. That's right. So I don't really think about what to listen to, what to eat, or where to go. If I'm told to come, I go. If I need to guide someone, I go. If it's time to sleep, I go to bed. That's how it is. I don't have big thoughts on what to do. There is a loss of interpretation [laughter]. When you want to be passionate, try your best. I want to do something, so I want to listen to music, drink, smoke, date, there's no problem. Don't do those things, Buddha. That's not it. If you drink and your stomach hurts, you should say, Oh, Buddha, my stomach hurts. When your stomach hurts from drinking too much, don't drink. When you try dating, it's just enjoyable.

Does speaking cause a lot of pain? Who wouldn't say that they don't want to be stopped? They want to indulge. But later, when they suffer, saying it's painful, then don't do it again. Don't suppress everyone's life like this. Buddhism is not about being mediocre. So, if you want to discover mediocrity, you may even give up the throne, wander for six years, and so on. It's possible. It's not about mediocrity; it's not about narrow-mindedness. It's just that today, we say it would be good to do this, but in reality, it often becomes the cause of suffering. So, when the Buddha says, Oh, it's because you did this and thought like that, just let it go. There's something I want to say. I don't have greed. It should be good if you did what you wanted to do. However, what happens is that it often brings suffering to oneself and to the world.

There are many, many things that women like. How long does it take to choose and decide? They got married. So, after living together, it seems that the merits of choosing are not that great. Many people end up in trouble by picking up a fight over trivial matters. If that happens, why did I make a mistake? It's not the other person's problem, it's not. It's because I want to show off my own special qualities. That's why conflicts arise. When conflicts arise, it's not easy to resolve. Being caught up in conflicts means having high expectations. So, the higher the probability of getting caught up, the higher the probability of encountering conflicts. Just now, two men came and said they were getting married. I asked, What do you like about each other? I asked, What makes you like him/her? They said, He/she treats me well. Then just treat each other well. Why do you have to go as far as getting married? Just treat each other better.

Jun Dae-yo, he asked why you want to marry a woman, right? [Laughter] It's funny. When you see someone talking nicely, you think, Oh, I could live with this person for a few days. Then you think, If I stay longer, it won't work out. It's better not to get married. As you guys think now, so if you get married, it's different from not getting married. So, if you set a date now and go to meet someone, do you think the man will treat you well? Absolutely not. Try getting married. They don't treat you well. After getting married, you'll regret it. The thought of being deceived after getting married is almost gentle towards women. Isn't that funny? Where did you see a gentle woman? Women are incredibly strong. If their upper body is too wounded, they can die. For men, it's like a knife. If you have a fight and cut a piece of wood, you get cut. So if you want to get married, pray until you find a woman to marry. Our husband is Buddha. I will respect and live well. Pray like this. Don't think that the man will treat you well. Or else, I...

It's an encounter that will treat a man well, and you should think that marrying like this will not be a problem. If you think you will treat him well, inevitably, if a conflict arises between a man and a woman, the woman should always run away. Why do you run away when a fight starts? Oh, I see. Yes, I understand. Yes, do it that way. Whether it's you or me, arguing is like using a knife. You fight with a stick, I fight with a knife, so even if you hit me, your stick will break. But if you meet the right person, it's fate. Do you understand? So, if a woman hides and bows to a man and the man doesn't pay attention to the woman's words, it becomes their natural fate. What do you think about settling it with a fight sometimes? It becomes a predestined relationship, so you end up hearing a woman nagging at a man. Yes, you can't lose your temper because of a woman, and you have to live like that. That's the predetermined path.

Because you don't know, it's almost determined to be that way. How about knowing the set temperature? The road is open, but because I came to ask, that's why I'm telling you this. Do you understand? If you don't ask, you either die or live, whether you live well or not, what does it matter to me? Even if I don't ask you to come, we end up going to unfamiliar people and get married while pretending. Oh, why did you come to see me? I don't know why you came. I don't know, but it seems like you're not a young member. So, I'm really good at coming. That's right. That's luck. That's luck. I don't know whether to do it or not, so when you get married, it's not important to give a ring, how much, or where the wedding takes place. What's important is to accommodate the other person when getting married. If you want to live as you please, you have to live alone. So,

Why did you get married? I asked. If you want to live as you please, you have to live alone like me. But if you want to get married, you have to adjust to your partner. All the men here are the same. You have to adjust to your wife and live your life accordingly. So, you bring your precious daughter, who is like a treasure, and raise her. You make sacrifices and receive punishments. You suffer and feel sorry, smoke late at night, drink, and have a bad smell, but still say you love her to death. However, you feel nauseous inside when the man's actions are unpleasant, but if you force yourself to sleep together, how will it end? If a woman has a bit of OCD and likes cleanliness, the man should also adjust a bit. Do you understand? Even if you don't want to, you have to figure out how to handle it. If you fight when you go out, come back, wipe it off, and if you want a kiss, wipe it off and then do it.

So, you need to match neatly. If you don't, even a sick woman has to match a man. It's time to get upset. It's not good to be neat and see a man as neat. Men want to wear just a jacket and walk around, but they have to pick it up and wear a tie. In my opinion, it's not good. Men feel like they're being strangled. So, you need to adjust to the other person's tastes and tendencies. That's married life. So, it's nice to live together with Dooly. It's better to live with two people than alone. But why get married just to live in conflict? Why bother others? It's so painful. If you want to live tearing each other apart, you have to end it. In such conflicts, the child won't be happy. So, going to a temple means learning these things to live life properly. Just like the question asked by a bodhisattva earlier.

When you raise a child, at the beginning, they are good kids. However, as they enter adolescence, they become a headache. It's like planting beans; at first, when the sprout comes out, beans and peas look similar, you know? But as they grow a bit, beans show their color, and peas show theirs. From there, the seed that was planted determines what kind of sprout will grow. This mainly shows during adolescence. Secondly, if you marry someone who treats you well, you should only date. You know, if you want to be treated well, you should only date; if you don't get married, they will keep treating you well. Let me tell you, there was a man who followed a woman around, insisting on marrying her. The woman didn't like him, but he kept promising to treat her well, showing up every day outside her house with a bouquet of flowers, even getting kicked but still following her. So, they got married. It seems like it would be nice.

Women think that if men follow them like this, they will be in control for the rest of their lives. When men follow them, they shouldn't act like that. From the day they get married, are they trying to receive all the love they gave each other in the past? It's psychological. It's not that the person intends it that way. That's why, as we live our lives, everything that happens is all because of fate. It doesn't just happen. So, when you think to yourself, I'm doing well, why is my husband criticizing me? I really don't understand that. The more you have such thoughts, the more you should research the reasons behind them. If you research, you will understand the reasons behind your thoughts. So, those who are married should just do what they have to do. If you do it alone, you can just live as you please and die. That's why I always say in life.

You talk about options. Live alone. Why do people rule? Fix it. If you want to get married again, how should you do it? Adjust to others? Fix the lie. So, those who act alone should do the practice. Those who get married should do the practice. But why do you keep telling me to do it? Then, especially if you want to have a baby, why are you bleeding? Even if blood comes out, what's wrong with it? Whether it's a good or bad idea, it's all my fault. If I have a baby, I really need to respect the baby's rights. I should pour my whole life into the baby. If you're obsessed, it's okay. If it looks like me, it would be nice. Just play like that. But even if I play, will my child turn out like me? Shouldn't I change a bit? Choose among the choices. I chose the first one. Since you still have the intention to practice, go for the second choice. I've gone up to the third.

At first glance, it may seem overwhelming, but when you do it, there is a common saying that if you just start without predicting the results, conflicts arise, and you feel like you can't live. Then, as time goes by, you might say you can't live because of your children. I've seen people saying they can't live because of their children. However, I don't have anything like that. Nevertheless, I still want to get married. I feel like shaving my head and just leaving. But for those who want to get married, from today, maidens here must start to focus. Prevention is the best medicine, right? So, before getting married, pray. When you pray with a sincere heart, you will realize your limits. Do you know yourself? If you just observe the woman you like or the woman you are connected with, you will also understand the other person's situation. Then, when we are blinded by the desire to get married, we can't see clearly. If you let go of that kind of obsession, you can see exactly what the problem is.

I realized how things work, so I should fix this. I should fix this to receive harmony. This is how it should be done. Even if you reach the age of fifty and are ready, you can get married. But even if you turn sixty and you are not prepared, you shouldn't get married. If not, you will be miserable and make others miserable. In the old days, a 15-year-old girl was ready for marriage when she got married. Why would she die if she got married? She lived with her eyes closed. Living with her eyes closed means being ready for marriage. I have no expectations. I go there thinking I will live like a servant. Even if I live with a man I don't know, it's fine. But these days, we try everything, right? Not just looking at the face, but also undressing the body, seeing, feeling, getting married. But they don't think about getting to know each other for three years. What's the point of looking and matching everything for three years?

Should I do this well for me? Just by looking at this, that's why it doesn't work. Yes, ask me another question. If I may conclude, I want you to do it, whatever it is. However, there must be something there. It depends on what. Excess leads to what. Accept some excess willingly. Try it once or twice, and when the excess is too much, don't do it. Don't create karma, don't create ties. If you want to breathe, eat. If you want to get drunk, get drunk. If you feel nauseous, vomit. If you reach your limit, vomit and eat. If your stomach feels uncomfortable and painful, oh my, I shouldn't eat it again. You have to turn away from it. However, foolish ordinary people wake up in the morning and when their stomach hurts in the evening, they should not eat it again. Even if you die, you shouldn't eat it again, but you set it up and eat it again. You should not do it again. Do you understand? This is what I'm talking about. It repeats. Try it once or twice, and say, Oh, this is how it is, like this. You should do it exactly like that. Loving oneself.

To truly love someone, it's not just about playing music for them, but it's about showing how much you truly cherish them.

[2001년 그 시절 젊은 법륜스님의 즉문즉설] 스님은 스스로에게 행복을 주기 위해 어떤 일을 하시나요?

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