The Struggle with Faith and Inner Turmoil

Elliot struggles with guilt and madness, questioning the nature of faith and the hypocrisy of organized religion.

### The Struggles of Grief, Guilt, and the Search for Meaning
* 🌀 The narrative begins with a chaotic reflection on the speaker's mental state, feeling **overwhelmed and questioning their own sanity**.
* 🎶 The speaker reveals their struggle with guilt over Gideon's death, feeling **trapped in their emotions** and unable to **express their pain fully**.
* ⚡ A violent encounter with an Indian man highlights the speaker's **inner turmoil** and the consequences of **unchecked anger**.
* 🌩 A moment of clarity arrives during a thunderstorm, where the speaker perceives a **sign from God**, questioning the **nature of divine intervention**.
* 🤔 The speaker grapples with the hypocrisy of organized religion, criticizing it as a **means of control and manipulation** rather than a source of **true solace**.
* 💔 The pain of losing a loved one is palpable as the speaker recounts their wife's death and the isolation that followed, emphasizing a **long period of grief**.
* 🗣 A moment of self-awareness emerges as the speaker realizes they have **vocalized their innermost thoughts**, suggesting a **desire to connect** despite their struggles.
* ⏳ Ultimately, the speaker's journey reflects a **deep conflict between their search for meaning and the burdens of their past**, illustrating the **complexities of human emotion**.

I know you want me to talk about myself, and I don't. The Admiral is almost out of my system with that sleep or return any second now. He's gonna come back, and my mind will be under siege again. This is Mr. Robot has become my god. Unlike all gods, their madness takes you prisoner. I guess I couldn't avoid Gideon's death after all. My damn of guilt is finally cracking. I want to cry, but I'm so high that I can't. There was an Indian man working behind the counter, and I'd make fun of his accent and talk like this: Hello, how are you doing? And one day, he stood up for himself. Sir, I must ask her to leave. And something just popped him in the face. I saw red, and I just kept punching him and punching him, and I hated him so much. He was an Indian, but it was raining there. There was a thunderstorm, and I remember stepping outside, and the clouds parted, and the sun came out, and I knew that that was God showing up for me in that

moment Jesus loves you, and this was clearly just a test. Elliot, would you like to share? Nah man, my systems home. God can help you [Music]. How a God does he helps come me. I didn't God help my innocent friend who died for no reason. Well, the guilty roam free. Okay fine, forget the 1oz about the countless Wars declared in his name. Okay fine, let's skip the random meaningless murder for a second, shall we? How about the racist, sexist, phobia soup we've all been drowning in because of him? And I'm not just talking about Jesus, I'm talking about all organized religion, exclusive groups created to manage control the dealer again. People hooked on the drug of hope, his followers nothing but addicts who want their hit of [ __ ] to keep their dopamine of ignorance. Addicts afraid to believe the truth that there's no order, there's no power, that all religions are just metastasizing mindworms meant to divide us so it's easier to rule us by the

charlatans that want to run us all. We are to them, are paying fanboys of their poorly written sci-fi franchise, but don't listen to my imaginary friend. Why the [ __ ] should I listen to yours? People think their worship some key to happiness. That's just how he owns you. [Music] Even I'm not crazy enough to believe that distortion of reality. So [ __ ] God, he's not a good enough scapegoat for me. [Music] Please tell me I didn't say all of that out loud. [ __ ] They did. Heard you had an interesting night. Chaplin's old friend threw it out for a reason. I figured you might want to put down a rope. Trust me, I've been five years, seven months, three weeks, and two days ago. My wife passed away a few weeks being frozen in my own grief. I woke up one morning, fixed myself breakfast like I normally do, closed myself into my dialysis machine like I normally do. I started talking out loud.

for a second thought was crazy. Moving on with the day. Then the next day I did it again. Talk to how loud and the next and our last who I was talking to. Why you telling me all of this? Because you me a lot more like think of it [Music].

God's Test | Mr Robot

Mr. Robot

The speaker expresses frustration with the concept of God's love and the effectiveness of divine help, citing personal tragedies and social injustices.

They criticize organized religion for perpetuating wars, discrimination, and division among people.

The speaker views religious followers as addicts seeking hope and control, arguing that all religions are manipulative and detrimental to unity.

The speaker expresses frustration with those who manipulate others for power, questioning the need to worship a higher authority for happiness.

They reveal their own struggle with grief after losing their wife, feeling frozen in their emotions for years.

The speaker's turning point comes when they start talking out loud to themselves, seeking a way to move forward.

The narrator experiences a cycle of chaotic behavior and inner turmoil, feeling trapped by their own mind.

They reflect on their guilt over Gideon's death and struggle with their emotions while under the influence.

A confrontation with an Indian man leads to a violent reaction, but a sudden change in weather brings a moment of clarity and redemption.