A few months ago, I was going through a divorce, and the very idea of marriage had become so difficult. I started to naturally ask myself, Why do I have to get married? My wife and son looked so happy. Honestly, while having a meal, their smiles kept catching my eye. I felt pure love deep in my bones. That feeling is... Hello everyone, I am Alphago, a commentator on various broadcasts in Korea, focusing on international politics and diplomacy, especially issues related to the Middle East. If you want to know more about me, I would appreciate it if you could subscribe to my channel on YouTube. To be honest, discussing this topic, which is about family, as a speaker at this event weighs on my conscience a bit. Because if my acquaintances, especially my wife's friends, see this broadcast...

You will be incredibly surprised. Isn't this wrong? Why is AlphaGo coming out as a speaker on such a topic? Isn't Sebasi now finished? People might think that Sebasi should be handed over to another broadcasting station. The reason is that I wasn't such a good husband. My wife knew me as a foreign correspondent and married me, but I decided to pursue a career as a comedian in the middle of it all, even though I have no musical talent, and I tried to start a business related to music. Then, that company couldn't survive for long during the COVID period and ended up going out of business. This process was extremely difficult. From my wife's perspective, my behavior was incomprehensible, which seriously deteriorated our marital relationship. Just a few months ago, I was going through the process of divorce and we were living apart. But the topic isn't about how to create a happy family, right?

The topic is the importance of family. In some ways, this topic resonates with me, doesn't it? Because when a person truly decides to get a divorce and is on the path to it, they might suddenly think, Wait, maybe I shouldn't get divorced. I should try to protect my family. In a way, even if it's late, that person has realized the importance of family. So, I thought this topic was fitting for me. However, when I first received the invitation to give this lecture, I wanted to decline. Nowadays, there are people who prefer not to marry or have children, and during holidays like Chuseok or Seollal, they often hear hurtful comments from their families. I was really worried that, through this lecture, I might accidentally say something that would hurt those individuals.

I have now come from the Middle East. What family means in the Middle East is strength. Strength. When you go to school, you have younger siblings or cousins, right? Those kids are never bullied or ostracized. It's because they are not alone. And when you venture into business, a person first seeks help from their family before taking on challenges. When that challenge transforms into success, everyone from the company representative to the cleaning lady becomes part of the same family. Literally, the company is family. Nowadays, big companies in Korea say that, but in the Middle East, it truly means that the company is family. It’s a corporate family. And people tend to have many children, as you know. For Middle Eastern people, that is a symbol of wealth. It shows that I can support this many children. In other words, family in the Middle East is strength.

In fact, if you look at human history, it has always been like this. It's not just the Middle East now; humanity has always been this way. Look, what was family to humanity in the past? First, it was a source of labor. Why? Because they had their own fields and needed to farm, so they cultivated labor through their families. The second reason was for national defense. They would create soldiers in advance to prepare for potential attacks from other tribes. But now we live in modern society. In modern society, concerns about labor and national defense are no longer the responsibility of individuals or families. Now, who takes care of labor and defense? The state does. As a result, individuals no longer feel the necessity or importance of family, and they naturally start asking, Why should I get married?

Marriage itself has become very difficult. First of all, what is the biggest problem? It's the housing issue. Right now, we need to buy a house to get married, but is it really that easy to buy a house? Especially in Korea, it's tough. Beyond the housing issue, there are even bigger problems. The fact is, we are living in the age of social media. Because it's the era of social media, what does that mean? It's the era of the individual, the era of the ego. As a result, issues of self-interest have risen to the surface. For those who have issues with self-interest, their personal gain will often take precedence over the collective benefit. That's a given. The second problem is that those who have serious issues with self-interest cannot coexist with someone else in the same space for a long time. Because of this, marriage has become increasingly difficult recently.

As the divorce rate rises and the birth rate declines, what phenomenon occurs? A decrease in population happens. As a result, what follows? Particularly in developed countries, the population is decreasing. Japan, in particular, is experiencing a decline in population. Korea is not exempt from this situation; it is not a different example. Some scholars predict that in a few decades, certain cities in Korea may disappear. In this context, civilizations that produce more children will become the future leaders, right? So, what is the message you want to convey? Are you suggesting that family is merely a source of power, and we should marry and have children like machines without emotions? That's not the case. I am simply saying we should reconsider the concept of family! Family is the only place where you can receive love without any cost. I have felt that. First of all, before getting married...

I'll talk about my family. My mom and dad expressed their love for me even when I didn't do anything special. However, in school or at work, if I want to be loved by those around me, I have to take some special actions. There's the company I started. When that company went bankrupt, suddenly tax notices started coming my way. Without me saying anything, my siblings thought, Our older brother might be in debt, and even though I didn't ask for help, they sent money from Korea and provided me with tremendous support. Because I always remember that and it never fades from my mind, I might even consider giving up on my divorce. What I mean is that before my relationship with my wife deteriorated, I had gone to Japan to perform.

I went to Japan and got scammed. Because of the difference between the yen and the won, I was supposed to pay 120,000 won, but I ended up paying 1,200,000 won. Suddenly, I realized this the next day, but at that time, 1,000,000 won felt like a huge amount of money to me. It felt like I had lost a house at a casino. I felt really bad. No matter how I thought about it, I couldn’t perform with this feeling, and I needed to heal quickly. So, I canceled my next performance, apologized, said I couldn't do it, changed my flight, and returned to Korea early. I went straight home and had a warm dinner that evening. At that moment, my bad feelings completely disappeared. The reason is that, unexpectedly, I came home early. Maybe that's why my wife and son looked so happy.

Now, while eating, I keep getting caught up in their smiles. Looking at their smiles, I find myself healing without even realizing it. I felt pure love deep in my bones. That feeling, in my opinion, seems to help overcome negative feelings and find happiness. I thought that family is absolutely necessary because we need an oasis. Everyone, when something happens, when there’s a problem, or when you’re feeling down, you need that oasis where you can go and receive healing. I had another experience that made me realize this even more. At that time, when I was contemplating whether to get a divorce or not, I knew another famous broadcaster who divorced his wife after 25 years. At first, he said, “I’m free now,” and immediately left for a trip to Europe. However, after returning to Korea the following month and a few days had passed...

I met that guy again, and he looked really sad. He seemed like a flower without roots. Normally, flowers look so beautiful in a sea of flowers. But he looked a bit too lonely... Seeing him like that made me realize something. No matter what happens, even if I get divorced, I absolutely have to get married. But the problem is that even if my relationship with my wife is really bad at the time, when I think about it conscientiously, my wife has a great relationship with my parents. Also, my wife gets along well with my friends. And I have a really good relationship with my wife's family and friends too. Especially, my wife's younger sister feels just like my real sister, and when my sister-in-law got married, her husband and I got along so well that it felt like we were siblings. So, when I marry someone new...

There is no guarantee that our breathing will match at this level. Will that new woman get along well with my family? I don't know. And will I get along well with her family? I don't know either. So, I've been thinking that it might be necessary to take a step back. Rather than completely demolishing a high-rise building that requires some renovation and then hastily constructing something in its place, I think we need to conduct a bit of an inspection again. It didn't seem reasonable. Perhaps my spouse had the same thought, and that's why we decided to take a step back and work hard to recover. Of course, there are still occasional aftereffects, but the word divorce doesn't come up so easily anymore, and we don't engage in dangerous fights. Both sides have come to realize how important this family is. The core of a family is that your partner has no ulterior motives or calculations.

It's an environment where love is exchanged. Especially with my son, when he comes up to me out of the blue and touches my face, or when my wife suddenly calls me my husband for no reason, I feel that any negative emotions or bad things I might be holding onto get washed away in this environment. I feel like I become cleaner because I am receiving unconditional love here. This kind of love is happiness itself. So, unlike my previous experiences in the Middle East, I don't think of family as a source of strength; rather, I see family as pure happiness. Now, you might wonder why I initially wanted to decline this lecture but suddenly decided to accept it. There are two reasons: one is that as a father, I want to buy my son some Nike shoes, and the second reason is...

If someone like me has realized the importance of family, then I hope that through this story, others can also recognize and appreciate their families more. After having lost my family once, I have come to understand their value. If there are those who are considering separation or divorce, I urge you to reconsider your decisions. I hope you can take some time to reflect on your family and hold them in higher regard. I came here with the hope of encouraging that mindset. Thank you for listening patiently until the end.

(ko, Ch)이혼 위기속에서 깨달은 가족의 소중함 | 알파고 시나씨 아시아엔 편집장 | #이혼 #부부 #가족  | 세바시 1572회

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