The Dangers of Faux Feminism in Modern Relationships

Fake feminists often disguise harmful behaviors behind progressive rhetoric, deceiving those around them.

### The Deception of "Faux Feminist" Men
* 🎭 Some men who quickly self-identify as feminists may actually be deceiving, hiding **abusive or manipulative behaviors** behind a progressive facade.
* 🤔 The "faux feminist" archetype includes both **unintentionally patriarchal men** and those with **malicious intent**, who may actively **silence or control women** in their lives.
* 👥 These men often position themselves as "**good guys**," publicly denouncing misogyny while privately engaging in **harmful behavior**.
* 📈 The term "woke fishing" describes this phenomenon, where individuals present a **progressive image** that contradicts their **true beliefs and actions**.
* 👩 Victims of abuse by these men often face stigma and self-blame, as societal expectations can make it **difficult to leave toxic relationships**.
* 📊 Research shows that men often prioritize different qualities in a wife versus a daughter, reflecting **changing gender dynamics in society**.
* 💡 The video emphasizes the importance of **self-reflection and willingness to learn and change**, rather than **defending against criticism**.
* 🦋 The conclusion encourages **ongoing education and growth**, symbolized by a **butterfly encountered** during the creator's walk.

do you want to know my weirdest red flag when a guy quickly self-identifies as a feminist? I think I speak for everyone here when I say, huh. I know it sounds wrong to worry about that, right? I mean, they're saying all of the right things, so why am I so full of this feeling of mistrust, and why do so many of us actually feel the same way? We've seen publicly praised progressive guys in recent years be shown to have done really bad things, behaving in completely different ways behind closed doors to how they act and portray themselves in public. And it's this which is making them a wolf in sheep's clothing. And the is is, it's not just them, it's the fact that they stay mates with people who continuously do terrible things, and uh, they seem to not have a problem with it 'cause it doesn't directly affect them. I mean, they're a good guy, right? And let's be real, it's way easier to cast doubt on the victim themselves, especially if they're not a perfect victim, rather than

actually have to question your mate and then possibly have to question yourself and be like, Oh, have I done bad things? If this has counted as a bad thing, is what they've done? My patrons actually chose this topic, so your wish is my command, my little Forest Critters. I've really recently launched my Patreon, so if you do want to check it out, it's linked for you down below, and all of the different tiers are on the screen now. So you've got squirrels for $2 a month, you've got foxy friends for $5 a month, and you've got my trash Panda enablers for $10 a month. Everything is linked for you down below, and if you can't afford it, seriously, there is no problem, no pressure at all, because you just being here, you watching my videos, liking, commenting, watching to the end, that stuff makes a giant difference to Daddy YouTube, so thank you very much for doing that. So without any further ado, let's get into the topic. Personally, I really like my monsters to be obvious.

you know the traditional Disney villain who like relishes in Badness, the Bond villain who is stroking a fluffy cat, who is just saying all of their evil plans, and they just can't even help themselves with just how evil they are. You know, think about the guy on the Tinder profile who's holding up his shirt at the gym, he's taking a picture, you know, you know exactly what they're about, you can easily avoid them, you spot them a mile away, you can cross the street, you can call your friends, you can warn each other. Even if you do have to come across them in your life, your guard is definitely up when you're dealing with them, right? It's the sneaky monsters that I'm most afraid of. They fit in amongst the sheep, they learn all of the right things to say, they learn exactly how to disarm you super quickly. I mean, they tick all of the boxes, right? They're progressive, they've possibly even turned up to a march, they maybe even posted a black square in 2020 like every other.

performative person did, and most of all, they dunk on openly misogynistic men. Therefore, they know who the bad people are, so that means that they're on your side, right? Yes, I'm talking about four feminist men who fall under the same umbrella as bists. Quick disclaimer, 'cause I have to say this every single time: this is not an attack on all men; this is on a very specific type of men and the thing that some men are doing. Chances are that you're mostly a good person, and none of this applies to you. We're on about something very specific and sneaky here, which is warranted due to things which have been happening not only in the public sphere but also in people's private spheres. And I really want to be able to have this conversation with you, and I'm of the belief that people can be good people and also stuff up. Like, nobody is perfect. I've never said that. I've always said that humans are flawed. Like, you may accidentally overstep someone's boundary, but then you learn.

from it, you have a conversation, and you don't hold it against them. It's when people have a repeated pattern of behavior; that's the stuff that I worry about. That's the thing which I am highlighting here. And even if you do identify with some of these things, that doesn't make you a terrible person, okay? The fact that you actually feel uncomfortable about something means that you're self-reflecting on that, which means that there is potential for learning and growth. And I personally don't believe that good growth comes from somewhere that is totally comfortable. Well, the future is female. I know, look, no, okay, well, Dave, on behalf of all women, we thank you so much for your support. Hey, would you maybe want to hang out sometime? You mean like a date? Yeah, like a date. Um, no, thank you. Okay, [__] what I'm wearing this shirt, and you won't even let me nut. What is fa feminism and broism? Brocialism is not a new phrase. Whilst I can't find exactly who came up with it with proof.

apparently, according to this 2014 article, Benjamin Silverman came up with it in a Reddit exchange. But again, I haven't been able to find proof of this. It's the type of dude who would interject when someone's bringing up a feminist issue and be like, G, there's way bigger issues to talk about, like class struggles, or say, Oh, it's not as bad as other areas of the world. Good attempt at derailing there, bro, except for the fact that intersectionality is critically important to make sure that progress actually happens for everybody. And by you actually trying to silence women when they're actually bringing up a feminist issue, um, that's actually like not being intersectional. What I'm saying is that socialism doesn't exist without feminism, okay? It's all intersectional. From my readings, from my observations, and from feedback from you, it kind of falls into two categories when we come to broism and faux feminism. You've got guys who are progressive but patriarchal values are baked in, you know, they grew up with it, and they haven't

really questioned it all that much. They're left-leaning, but they also uphold traditional gender roles, and they kind of expect women to actually know how to cook and clean and kind of just do that stuff automatically around the house. Same as when it comes to child care, because you know that's how they were raised. They just know how to do it. Important to note, this is not done with malice. It's just that patriarchal values are so baked in, and they haven't actually been unlearned. And a little bit of selfishness here, because you know women's issues, trans issues, indigenous rights, BIPOC issues, like none of that stuff really directly affects them, especially if they're white men. Let's be real, a lot of these people are white men. It's not really been a focus for them to learn about because it doesn't affect them. Whereas, you know, K Marx, oh, that affects everybody 'cause it's a class struggle. But the thing is that talking about class struggle is actually very easy, especially these days. Um, but you know, addressing the other stuff is more

challenging and means that you need to self-reflect on yourself and also have those uncomfortable conversations with your friends, your colleagues, and your family members. And then you've got the second category, which is the one with the malice. This is where they actively dunk on misogynistic men. You know, they set themselves apart by doing this. They probably actually know quite a lot of stuff. They're probably well-educated. They may even know some feminist history. They may even try and take the microphone when they attend a women's march. They know the right things to say, and they sit on their pretty perch of possibly white saviorism here and expect people to be lining up to, you know, play with their eggplant. And then they get involved with typically women and chip away at them slowly, breaking them down to make sure that they are nice and subservient. They silence their girlfriend when they speak up about something that makes them, the guy, feel uncomfortable. They say sexist or racist jokes, but you know, it's done in an

ironic way so it's totally fine. They're controlling of their partners and women in their lives, even if they're friends. As we'll be getting to, these are guys that can sadly be emotionally and physically abusive. However, the fact is they're regarded as a good person, so people doubt them even more when it comes to people even making a claim about it, even if they ever able to come forward. But then the doubt goes towards the victim, especially if they're not a perfect victim. I want to show you this which Lily made from vulgar memes, which I think explains things incredibly well. I'll try and link their Instagram below, but YouTube really doesn't like their username. They always age restrict my videos anytime that I plug in their Instagram page. It's ridiculous. It's socialist interested dudes, but their progressiveness ends where it directly impacts them. But they're also sure to expect furious jumping freely, right? Because that's what feminism did. Feminism meant that women are now free with their bodies and they earn their own money, so you don't actually have to

put in as much effort in order to be able to get them to sleep with you. No, it was actually about equality and respect and respecting all genders and bodies. My dude, I'm sure that you can recognize these folk. You can probably even identify some in your day-to-day lives. This is why I'm calling them fake feminists 'cause they pretend to care about the stuff that we care about, and yet they actually treat the women in their lives pretty terribly. Oh, but these guys do really care about abortion rights and birth control access, but that's probably for a few more selfish reasons what we'd really like to admit. And this isn't even new. Think about the sexual liberation movement that was happening in the late '60s and 1970s, you know. And so some guys back then were just like, I don't even have to take her out for dates now. Amazing. This is great. She can even pay for herself, and it's called feminism. Amazing. I don't even have to change a thing. And so these particular guys were

like well now I'm entitled to her body like why shouldn't I be and this is something which is touched on in the book rough by Rachel Thompson and is still something that absolutely exists today. This is where men expected payback for anything from drinks to dinner and when I say payback I mean her body and guys actually messaged them later saying uh can you Veno me the $650 for the drinks. I mean it wasn't really worth it was it the currency is furious jumping still he people have different wants in relationships and that's absolutely fine which is why you know communication is an important thing but paying for someone's drink does not mean that they owe you entry to their body ating getting to know somebody is not worth it is the issue here. It's this dehumanization which is the issue and it's the transactional view of somebody what are you saying let's not make an issue out of it okay in fact let's not talk about it at all it happened I don't

understand the hurt when you thought you knew someone. This can range from people in your own life all the way to famous people. Cody Co has recently begun whispered about, and I do mean whispered about. It wasn't until 2 days ago when D'Angelo Wall essentially came up with his video, which I'll link for you down below in case you haven't seen it, that more people started to talk about it. Until then, the commentary crowd who loved to dunk on misogynistic men and call out things that are wrong in the world, they were very quiet. Even though Tan Mojo, the other person in question here, actually came up with her podcast addressing this a month ago. I hooked up with Cody Cole when I was 17 and he was 25. Yeah, it happened allegedly because they cannot afford lawyers. Cody was 25 when he was actually at a party where Tan Mojo was 17. Yes, this Tan Mojo, the problematic Tan Mojo, the Tan Mojo that has definitely lived a life before she even hit the age of 20. Tan Mojo was a

huge fan of Cody Co, and allegedly, he was actually informed that she was underage, but then they went and did Furious jumping anyway. I just know that there's going to be people fixated on the fact that she was 17, so that's like nearly of age, and like age of consent varies from state to state. I do not care. I've already talked about these issues before. The thing is that he was in a position of power. She was 17. A 25-year-old guy had already been told, allegedly, that they were underage. Shouldn't have done what they did. Okay, I also recommend checking out this video from Rachel O. She posted a few days before D'Angelo's video came out. Both really good. There is such an incessant need to have a perfect victim, otherwise doubt keeps on getting cast. The thing is that Cody Co is actually kind of seen as a golden boy. He's seen as a good guy. You know, like the videos which he makes, he dunks on other people, he does make a whole bunch of stuff.

reacting to cringe things, and it's just not my kind of humor, okay? It was a silence from the commentary community and also himself, which was the thing which kind of spurred this. And if there is an update after I film this, I will include it [Music] here. But Cody Co is only the most recent YouTuber to be found out to be like this. So you've got someone like I'm Alex. I used to actually watch their videos. I think I watched them for like 6 months a few years ago. His work was very similar to Cod's, you know, reac commentary, dunking on very openly misogynistic people, you know, kind of like a good guy. But two exes of his revealed how allegedly he was abusive. There was a Google Drive full of messages sent between the two of them where he uses racist and ableist slurs towards them. He was allegedly emotionally and verbally abusive and also gaslighted his girlfriend Annie, making everything about him. He also allegedly was physically abusive.

and then you know what happened. People actually distance themselves from him. You may also recall Eddie BC's ex-best friend Gus Johnson. Now, his videos I used to watch all the time. Like, you can see this. I've recorded this yesterday. You can literally see the point where I stopped watching his work after Eddie found out what Gus did to his girlfriend and the horrible treatment towards her. He decided to no longer be friends with his closest best friend, who he actually had this podcast with. They did so much together, but he couldn't stomach the repeated terrible behavior he was doing behind closed doors. Trust between us, from me, is completely broken, and I just can't work with him in the future. I know that I, at the time, along with so many others, were incredibly shocked by this because we always thought that Gus was such a good guy. And this is why I'm saying this is the stuff that's happening behind closed doors, and that's why it's so much harder to find out about this stuff and why I'm so wary of things and

why so many of us are as well. You may try and say that I'm advocating for cancel culture, and that's absolutely not the case. The issue here is the fact that these guys were all positioned as amazing good Golden Boys, you know, like they're the good guys, right? Right. And then behind the scenes, they were just doing completely horrible things, allegedly. Allegedly. I can't afford a lawyer. You may recognize this slide, which I've come up with before, where I'm trying to recommend good male role models for guys to actually follow here on YouTube. You know, do you realize how cautious and careful I am when it comes to recommending a cis-straight guy? I've always been very wary of the fake nice guy act, and I'm sure a lot of us can understand why that would be. And I don't take your attention or trust for granted at all. Like, I genuinely see this as a duty of care thing to be as thorough as possible. I also asked on Instagram for your experiences, and well,

thank you very much for sharing with me. I am sorry that so many of us have been through terrible things in life. I've got a small selection to share with you today, and as promised, as always, anonymity is guaranteed. I'm so glad I could actually say that. I always struggle with that word. I used to have a friend who claimed to be a feminist and supportive of me being lesbian, but also expressed that he felt entitled to my body, like to be first in line if I ever got interested in any man, even if it wasn't him. He felt he deserved to be first since he was my friend. He once rented a car for a vacation. It was very hot. Two girls were walking by. He asked, Should we ask them to get in? But he had this weird expression on his face. I took it literally and told him maybe we should because it's hot, and maybe we can drop them somewhere close to both parts' destination. He was very surprised with my suggestion, and I told him again with sarcasm, We won't be having Furious.

jumping with them, and I laughed afterwards, but he said, Well, if a girl gets into a guy's car, that's what she's looking for. I said, No, it's to reach a destination, and what gives you the audacity to think this way? and he got very offended. I met a guy last year who was a self-proclaimed feminist, aware of the problems in society, had a bunch of queer friends, women friends, and genuinely apologized when he did something wrong, which was a first for me. I'm Eric Ace and already have sexual trauma, so when he made advances, I was like, That's never going to happen, and he said, No problem, we can just be friends. Anyway, he kept trying to get me to sleep with him, asking for nudes under the guise of empowerment, put me in multiple sexual situations I specifically said no to, and ended up straight-up saing me. He then went to a feminist protest on Women's Day a few weeks after I ended content because of the sa. Also, the cherry on top was that he dated a girl.

when he was 22, who was 15 at the time, and legit didn't see the problem, but I was constantly telling myself no, but he knows the terms and stuff. Why would he do exactly what we talked about? He was really good at that. No, it's your choice. It's okay to say no, but then still push until I give in. He genuinely didn't see a problem with that. Huge yikes. And I've sadly saved the worst for last. One of you talked about your friend who was involved with a guy. This was back in the 2010s. He was a local feminist, lefty, super knowledgeable type, and he was involved with many girls at the same time, labeling this as polyamory, as this was pretty new in Poland, at least in the zeitgeist. And he was kind of counted almost like a celebrity, educating the public on polyamory, and was so looked up to by people, but he somehow only wanted to date, you know, really young women, you know, 18, early 20s maybe, and he was a

professor, so he had to be at least 25 years old at this point where he was dating 18-year-olds. And not only that, but he had all of the women do all the housework, you know, the cooking, the chores, and everything. And they were happy to, as he's so busy and important. But none of them could actually be in relationships with anyone else that he didn't approve of, especially no men. It was all his rules, his way. And sadly, he was also physically abusive too. I'm positive that polyam viewers are really offended at them trying to say that this was polyamory because it certainly is not. Polyamory is all about very clear and open communication, respect for each other's boundaries, and actually talking through things. It's incredibly respectful, at least from friends that I have that are polyamorous. Okay, so yeah, don't get it twisted. What he was doing was not poly. That was actually just manipulation and abuse. Weirdly, he also made it onto the news. What a woman. So why does this type

of guy go after strong independent women. Then when he actually wants someone that's submissive, well, let's go quote Trevor Noah, shall we? The way my mother always explained it, the traditional man wants a woman to be subservient, but he never falls in love with a subservient woman. He's attracted to Independent Women. He's like an exotic bird collector. He only wants a woman who is free because it's his dream to put her in a cage. And also, Trevor Noah said this, which I really like. Change that conversation just a little bit more. I, you know, I hope we get to the place where guys go, Oh, I actually, I actually didn't need the sex. I needed to be held. And I live in a society where it's hard to be held unless I'm having sex because as guys, you can't just go to a guy and be like, Just hold me. True. And I, I, I, I hope the conversation goes there, you know, not just from right to sex. It's like, No, sometimes you just want to be held. Now

you've probably already heard the term woke fishing, right? It's like catfishing, but you know, your entire personality in morals and beliefs. The term was coined by Serena Smith in this Vice article from 2020. She had been seeing a guy who came across as very woke, but when she went vegan, he sent her a barrage of hateful messages and said, Oh God, you're not going to become one of those vegan feminists, are you? She was completely caught off guard, as this was the opposite of the person she was seeing—a progressive good guy. Political and moral beliefs have come more and more into the forefront, which I personally think is really a good thing for people to, you know, be socially aware and actually talk about this stuff. I think that's a positive, but the issue is, as I've talked about in previous videos, is that women are actually learning more left, especially when we're younger, and then younger men are actually learning more right, which is causing a bit of a problem with the

dating pool, and as the years have gone on, people are less willing to actually date someone who's got differing political beliefs to them. Something which makes perfect sense to me, but again, it's stopping eggplant action. What I freaking marched for you, you won't get down on this e. Leila from La La La. Let me explain. And Instagram, who I have shouted out many times, and I'll also have a link for you down below. They've actually said this. A lot of recent political movements are based on moral values. These are things that you cannot agree to disagree on because they have a direct impact on the welfare of other human beings. And the thing is that this is true, right? And I always say that people can learn, change, or grow at any age. However, that actually requires people to actually have some self-reflection and actually do the work, do the change. But you can just put on a mask instead and then get your eggplant played with. So why would she do the hard work? This wanting of a strong woman makes me think of the very

controversial 2015 study which came out the stri for report snapshot and insight into the 21st-century man. It was conducted on 818 men in the USA about the difference in what men want between a wife and a daughter. They were instructed to pick the top two to three qualities that they wanted in a wife or an adult daughter, noting here this is about an adult daughter, not a child and adult. Intelligence took the number one spot for both, with 81% for the adult daughter and 72% for the wife. Independence was the number two spot for the daughters at 66%, but only 34% of the wife. So what was the number two spot for the wife? Attractiveness at 45%, which was only 11% for their daughters. Strong took out the number three spot for daughters at 48%, but only 28% for wife. The other attribute that was also at 34% for wife was sweet, but that was at 19% for their daughter. And quickly glancing at the

Homemaker stats: 14% for wives but only 5% for daughters, nearly triple the difference there. Fellas looking at these graphs side by side. Daughters' intelligence, independence, strength, and principles all got over a third of the votes. For wives, intelligence, attractiveness, independence, and sweetness got over a third of the votes. These are two very different women that are wanted now. Yes, I would call this a small study, but it's an interesting snapshot to actually look at because I think it reflects quite a lot about our society and dating world. And I want you to read that quote back from Trevor Noah one more time because when it comes down to it, they're raising a boss babe, and all of those top qualities work so well at the workplace, and they can actually be counted as masculine qualities, right? Yet for a partner, attractiveness is way more valued. Now, I do understand that you want to be attracted to your partner, but it's just the fact that that really trumps everything that is a little concerning to me. 45% of men said that compared to

their father's generation. It's harder to be a man in their own generation. The reasons cited were most commonly women's changing role in society. Here's some quotes: In my dad's day, women stayed at home and the men worked. Now both men and women work in the same area as men do, so it's hard for us to be. If you stand up as a man, it's taken as putting females down. No more men of the house. This is a part which I personally found most interesting, which was barely reported on. I legit read so many different reports on this. 67% said their father was their male role model, regardless of what age that participant was. This is not necessarily a bad thing, as there are some amazing dads out there. Like, I would count Brandon's dad as one of those people, right? But I've known so many guys across my life, be they friends, exes, colleagues, like anything like that. I've known so many of them and be like, Oh God, my dad was a terrible person. Whether it was the fact that he was

working all the time. He was neglectful. He was, um, sadly abusive in a bunch of cases, actually. And don't forget about that generational divide because there are different expectations of what it means to be a man by each generation. That was also shown in this study too. So, I found this really interesting that the male role model continued to actually be their father or it was another family member, if not their father. Another key thing which was underreported on except for on Patrick Wes's website was that 56% of men agree that generally speaking, men are more concerned about making good impressions and earning respect of other men than earning the respect of women. Worryingly, with 67% of 18 to 49-year-old men feeling this way, and it actually went down to 47% of men age 50 and older. So, it's a younger generations of men that are actually more concerned about getting the respect of other men as opposed to women in their life. I was really not expecting that result, but when you look around us, it does kind of

make perfect sense, right? You know, Matt R. Um, I had actually scripted a whole bunch of stuff, but then Shanp came up with this amazing video. And so, um, I'm not going to say anything further other than link that video for you down below because you should absolutely go and watch it. But the respect that he was getting from women wasn't actually enough for him. He didn't feel like he got any respect because, you know, it's kind of like what you get anyway for just being a man in this world. You're automatically going to get respect from women, but he felt like he needed to earn the respect of other men. And the way to do that was to actually put other women down. And I'm sure that we've seen this in our own lives as well. You don't embarrass me like the others. It's a really good song, right? And it also talks about the shame of being a woman who dates a man that turns out to be bad from the many people who have reached out to me. The shame felt for

actually falling for a guy who turned out to be manipulative, who turned out to be a terrible person, who turned out to be abusive. That shame was actually so huge for you because you're like, I'm a strong independent woman. How come I fell for it? Like, how? How did I not see this? How was I so tricked? Like, how did I just obey all of his whims? How did I do all of this stuff? Why did I stay? And all of this self-blame that happens, right? It's also because we kind of do that to each other. The way a man treats you in a relationship is social status amongst women, making the woman in the bad place, if that makes sense. As opposed to being like, He's doing the bad things. He needs to change this stuff. Instead, it's like, Well, why didn't you leave? Why aren't you gone? You should just be single. Instead, women are still paid for our lesson. Actually, intersectionality comes into play hugely here because if you're disabled, you're definitely going to get paid less. If you're BIP, you're going to

get paid less, job security, disability, health issues. There are so many issues that actually come into play. And also, as I talked about in this video here, it is super expensive to try and be single because the world was built for married people. And I know that I'm saying this as a married person. That doesn't mean that I can't recognize the privilege of the fact that I'm married to, you know, luckily a nice person. And also the fact that I'm very well aware of the social injustice in the world. And we can't forget that social stigma which surrounds women who is quote weak in their relationship, especially if friends or loved ones were shaming them prior. Like who do they have to turn to now? People who are victims in abusive relationships have a really hard time of leaving. In fact, leaving those relationships is the most dangerous time for them. So this judgment and abandonment only actually hurts victims more. To me, this is almost like another version of victim blaming because it's like, Oh, you're with such a problematic

guy like because that's a reflection on you because you're a woman. You know better than them because you know we are trained to actually make men be better, right? How many Rong coms have taught us that? How much of our life messaging like in this video here has taught us that, that we're meant to be the tempered ones, we're meant to be the calming Force, meant to be the educational Force, never the nagging Force, but definitely the one to just go easy on him, Co him over to like learn a little more about stuff, you know? And so it really doesn't surprise me that we've also internalized this sort of messaging, but then when we're going against each other, I'm just like I think we're missing a little bit of a piece of the puzzle here, which is you know recognizing like the systemic oppression that is actually still at play and the fact that security is actually a really big thing and actually picking up all of your stuff and leaving is an incredibly hard thing for people.

to do, especially as like women's refuges keep getting underfunded and, uh, gosh, I could go on for ages, but I think this video is probably long enough, right? When reading Ru by Rachel Thompson, which I will warn you is not for the faint of heart, it straight away goes into incredibly heavy stuff. I have been struggling whilst reading it. Now, one thing which kept on coming up throughout the entire book was guys being like, But I'm a good guy, right? Like, I'm not racist, right? You know, and wanting to get this justification from the women that they'd actually done really bad things to and just be like, No, but I'm good though, right? It makes me think of the guys that are quickly like, Not all men, uh, you know, when you actually bring up like people that have been victims of abuse or something, as opposed to having like empathy for the people that have actually been through horrific stuff. Instead, they're centering themselves and being like, I wouldn't do that. Not a lot of us. Like, not my friends. Not, no, no, the

fear of the accusation is stronger than the sympathy for the victim. No matter how many times I emphasize the word some men are like this, what I find disturbing here is that guys are still preoccupied with ensuring I say that instead of holding their friends accountable for the terrible things that they've done or that they may feel shame for something that they may have done in their past. And the thing is, right, I was thinking about this whilst I was on my walk. You know that study I brought up about guys being their dad as a male role model? Shame and humiliation are absolutely tactics which are used against boys to make sure that they're not too feminine, to make sure they act the right way, to make sure they don't step out of line, to make sure that their emotions are shut off. And the thing is, it's not just their fathers that do that. They teach it to the boys, and then the boys teach it to each other. And this is how patriarchy works, because you don't want to go

stepping out of line and having your masculinity actually questioned, right? That is the hugest thing. And so, at least in my mind, this feeling of shame is so heavily avoided by me because it brings up all of these memories of the times that they felt ashamed in their life for not being manly enough. And so, it makes them feel not enough when that happens. But that could just be me; that could just be from my observations in life. But that's just a theory, my theory. But like I bring up all the time, all of us are capable of change. Positive change comes in many different forms, and the first step is to actually be like, Oh, this makes me feel uncomfortable. I should probably unpe why, you know, being open to the idea of therapy, all of that good sort of stuff, you know? And even if it's just like asking someone, it's like, Hey, is this okay? And also being willing to admit that we're wrong and being willing to realize that we don't know all of the things that we

don't know right. That's the beauty of the fact that everyone's got so many different lived experiences. It's the beauty of the entire world. It's one of the reasons why I really like John and Hank Green and why I've always shouted them out, like since the start, when it comes to like good male role models. Because you've got these two incredibly intelligent guys that are always like, No, but I don't know everything. I'm still learning stuff. And they're in their forties, you know. So, that's what I mean. It's like, I think embracing that sort of mentality is a really good thing. And also just recognizing that everyone's human, like everyone makes mistakes, everybody fumbles. The thing is, like I've been saying throughout this video, it comes down to having this consistent pattern of negative behavior done for manipulative purposes. That's where I'm like, Oh, this is scary. Like if you fall into the first section of like being a brocher list and you didn't quite realize it and you're like, Oh, there's

probably some things I should learn there. That's great. There's always more that we can all learn. I mean, like, I definitely know that I don't know everything, and that's okay with me because there's so much to learn and there are so many amazing people to learn from, so many amazing books to read, everything. It's a positive thing. So anyway, this has been a very heavy video. Thank you for making it through all the way to the end. I really do appreciate it. Um, as a reward, look at this cool butterfly I came across on my walk yesterday. I was just like edging closer and closer to it. I was like, Oh please, please, please, please, please, just trying to get some up-close pictures. I would have looked like such a weirdo. So if you did make it all the way to the end of this video, please leave the books and butterfly emoji because through education we can become something amazing. Anyway, whatever metaphor, I don't know. I'm really hungry. It's my lunchtime now. It was my lunch.

time an hour ago, and I'm still filming. But, of course, thank you most of all to my patrons, especially my trash Panda enablers: T beer, Carrie, Quake, Stella, sapiente, Violet, and beet. And I'll see you Lovel next time. Patriarchy is up to some dastardly dudes. I can't. I wish I could do is that. That's the thing they used to do, right? Ah, I need to have the

Fake feminist men - wolf in sheep's clothing | Brocialism

Bryony Claire

The Red Flag of Self-Identifying Feminist Men

Self-identifying feminist men can raise feelings of mistrust due to a history of public figures behaving differently behind closed doors.

Their friendships with individuals who engage in harmful behavior further complicates their image.

The speaker emphasizes the importance of recognizing patterns of behavior and the potential for growth and self-reflection, while also highlighting the sneaky nature of some men who use performative activism to disarm others.

The Problematic Nature of Broism and Faux Feminism

Broism and faux feminism often stem from progressive men with ingrained patriarchal values, leading to a lack of self-reflection and engagement with women's issues.

The second category includes men who, despite their knowledge and education, use their power to control and manipulate women, often engaging in emotionally and physically abusive behavior.

Both types of men claim to support feminism, but their actions ultimately undermine the movement and perpetuate harmful dynamics.

The Problematic Dynamics of Power and Consent

Men often feel entitled to women's bodies in exchange for financial gestures, leading to a dehumanizing and transactional view of relationships.

Recent controversies involving Cody Co and Tan Mojo, as well as other YouTubers, highlight the issue of power dynamics and abusive behavior.

The silence from the commentary community and the struggle to find a "perfect victim" further complicate the conversation around these issues.

Many individuals who are seen as positive role models have been accused of engaging in harmful behaviors behind the scenes.

The speaker emphasizes the importance of being cautious when recommending male role models and shares personal experiences of encountering manipulative and abusive behavior from self-proclaimed feminists and advocates.

The speaker highlights the difference between genuine polyamory and manipulative relationships, condemning the latter as abusive and disrespectful.

Men are often attracted to independent women but desire a submissive partner, creating a paradox.

The term "woke fishing" highlights the discrepancy between a person's outward beliefs and their true values, leading to complications in dating.

A 2015 study shows a significant difference in the qualities men want in a wife versus an adult daughter, with attractiveness being more valued for wives, raising concerns about the impact on relationships.

Men today find it harder to navigate their roles compared to their fathers' generation, largely due to women's changing roles in society.

The study shows that 67% of men identify their fathers as their male role models, despite the varying expectations of manhood across generations.

Additionally, a significant portion of younger men prioritize earning the respect of other men over women, leading to problematic behaviors and dynamics in relationships.

The Challenges of Being Single and the Impact of Social Stigma

Being single is financially challenging due to a world designed for married people, and social stigma often shames women in difficult relationships.

Victims of abusive relationships face immense difficulty in leaving, with judgment and abandonment from others only exacerbating their situation.

The internalized messaging for women to "fix" men contributes to the perpetuation of these dynamics, while the fear of accusation often takes precedence over empathy for victims.

The Impact of Masculinity and the Path to Positive Change

The feeling of shame from not being manly enough is a common struggle for many men, leading to a desire to avoid uncomfortable situations.

Embracing the idea of change, seeking therapy, and being open to learning from others' experiences are important steps towards personal growth.

Recognizing that everyone makes mistakes and has room for improvement can foster a positive mindset and encourage continuous learning.