Understanding Type Nines: Accessing Personal Motivation and Identity

Nines often struggle to access their own desires, feeling like they have missing files in their mental filing cabinets.

### Understanding Type Nines: Accessing Your Inner Files for a Fulfilling Life
* 👋 Dr. Tom Lehu welcomes viewers to discuss the Enneagram type nine and their struggles with **self-discovery and motivation**.
* 📅 He invites those interested in coaching or becoming an Enneagram coach to visit his website for information on **available programs**.
* 📚 Drawing from Helen Palmer's book, he highlights how nines often feel like they have **"missing files"** in their mental filing cabinet, making it difficult for them to **identify their desires and goals**.
* 🔍 Nines may observe others confidently pursuing their aspirations, while they struggle to **access their own files on what they want to do in life**, leading to feelings of **confusion and lack of direction**.
* 🧩 Dr. Lehu uses metaphors, such as a **wagon attached to various tractors**, to illustrate how nines can easily adapt to others' motivations but often **lose their own sense of purpose** when left alone.
* 💔 He emphasizes the pain **nines experience when they wake up to the realization** that they have been living according to **others' expectations** instead of their own **desires**.
* 🕊 Dr. Lehu encourages nines to embrace their unique motivations, aiming for **peace and harmony**, and to actively seek out **chaos in the world** where they can make a **positive impact**.
* 🌳 He concludes by urging nines to **take time for self-reflection**, **listen to their inner voice**, and **prioritize their own needs** to cultivate a **fulfilling and authentic life**.

What is up, guys? Thank you for joining me today. My name is Dr. Tom Lehu, and welcome to my channel. We're going to be talking about nines today and their missing files or their missing filing cabinet. Okay, and uh, before we get started, I just want to call your attention to the description below. There's a link to my website, tomlehue.com, where I do offer coaching appointments. Sometimes it can be booked up for a couple of weeks, but I'd love to meet with you if you want to talk about your type or trying to figure out your type or how to be more balanced and more healthy, what that might look like, or better relationships. I'd love to love to hear from you. Also, we do have a couple of certificate programs if you're interested in becoming an Enneagram coach. Check out those certificate programs on the website. Just click the link at the top of the page to find out more information. We have cohorts starting up, and we'd love for you to consider joining one of those.

cohorts. Uh, it's a six-week session. Uh, it's affordable. It's fun. It's on Zoom. I lead them. Uh, you have time for student discussions. And I'd love for you to join us in one of those cohort programs for our certificates or cohorts for our certificate programs. Also, thanks to my patrons. I really appreciate your generosity and your dedication to the channel. Okay, let's get started. Today, I just want to talk to you for a minute about... I don't have any notes, don't have any books in front of me, although I am still reading this book, The Enneagram by Helen Palmer, written back in the '80s. Deep, but really good. And I'm going to bring you some information from that book again. I already did one video, um, discussing some of the stuff from that book, and I'm gonna... I'm gonna continue to bring you some more information from that book as I'm... as I read it and go through that information. But today, I just wanted to talk to you.

For a second about nines. I have a lot of appointments with nines, and I talk to nines a lot. I've got nines in my family, um, and I have a great appreciation and respect for type nine. I feel like I pretty well understand nines. I'm not a nine; I have no connection to nine as a seven. But, uh, I do feel like I'm starting to get my head around what nineness is all about. One of the things that I've noticed about nines, uh, particularly nine wing ones, it may very well be true of nine wing eights too, um, but one thing I've noticed about nines and all of my many appointments with nines is it seems like sometimes nines, um, feel a bit as though they have some missing files, um, like they're missing, uh, some files in their filing cabinet. Okay, so imagine your brain is like a giant filing cabinet, and you got all kinds of information in there, and you can access that

information, and I'm not saying that nines are slow or that nines, you know, aren't smart or nines, you know, are somehow delayed in some way. I'm not suggesting that at all. What I'm saying is, it's kind of like every type. When we want to know what we want in life, we're able to access those files. If we wanted to know what kind of job we wanted to do, how we felt about certain music bands, where we wanted to eat at a restaurant, what we were interested in, what television show we were interested in watching, what career we might want to go into. It seems like from a nine's point of view, like everybody has this drawer, and they've got these files in there. They can access these files, and they can gather that information. It's like they see everybody else is moving off in all these directions, you know. I'm going to be a dentist. I'm going to be an auto repair technician. I'm going to

join the military, and people have this drivenness, this focus, like they have this ability to know who they are and what they want, and then go after it. They have this motivation to go after it, this drive, this determination. Some people are extremely driven, extremely motivated to go after what they want. And then the nine is kind of like, how do I access that information? Like, I go to my filing cabinet, and I open up the files, and I start to sort through, like, okay, what do I want to do in life? There should be a file in here called what do I want to do in life. I need to access that file and figure out what I want to do in life. And it's like, well, there's a file on my last vacation, and there's a file on what I enjoy, and there's a file on, you know, that time when I went to the park and walked the dog, and there's that file back there on my first car, and that was a wonderful car. Where's my file on what I want to do in

life. Where's my file? Um, on um, on what's important to me, on what church I want to belong to. Where's my file on my, uh, my goals for life? I can't seem to find my file. Now I see Ned and Sandy. They're accessing their file, and look how, look how, uh, look how strong, you know, they feel about what they want to do in life. Look how passionate they are. They know they want to become a physical therapist. Wow, that's great. They went home, they opened up their filing cabinet, they found the file on what I want to do in life, and it said physical therapist. And look how driven they are. They're signing up for classes, they're telling everybody, I'm going to become a physical therapist. I'm going to become a physical therapist. And everybody seems very proud of them. I'm very proud of them. Isn't that great? Ned wants to be a physical therapist. Then when I go back to my filing cabinet and I try to access the file that says what do I want to do in life.

what do I want to have in life? What are my goals for life? It seems like my file link cabinet is missing a couple of files, and I don't know where to find these files now. I don't know that every nine has that experience, but what I hear from nines is it seems like a lot of them like that is a good metaphor for what they're experiencing, like I'm just not able to find my files. So what would a person do? I'm trying to understand this from my perspective as a seven because I can access my files no problem. I am, oh yeah, I want to do this, I want to do that. Sometimes I think if I could live a second life, you know, if I could, as a seven, I feel like if I could live a second life, I'd love to become an alternative doctor, like some kind of, you know, homeopathic herbalist, chiropractor, something like that. You know, I think if I had a second life, I would just love to, I can think of like

multiple what do I want to be in lives maybe and maybe that's not maybe that's not anything to brag about I don't know but I can think of like yeah I could see myself on a remote island you know running a hotel I could see myself as some kind of acupuncture physician that would be awesome to to be able to help people that nobody else you know they kind of get kicked out of the regular medical establishment nobody can help them I can see like multiple things I tell my wife all the time man if I you know had an extra life I would and then trying to understand a nine's perspective like I don't know what to do with this life I'm trying to access the files on what am I supposed to do in life or what what makes sense in life or where should I live and what job should I have and and I can't find my files I'm trying to think like what a person might do in that situation if they didn't feel like they could

have access to their own files of what they want to do in life. I'm trying to imagine, you know, what a person might do. One of the things I think they might be inclined to do is just access other files and kind of like, well, I don't know where the file is on what I want to do in life, but I did find a file on how to make cinnamon rolls. So, that's what I need to be focused on right now, is I really do want cinnamon rolls. And, you know, I've never really learned how to make them, so I should probably go on the internet and I should probably look up recipes on cinnamon rolls. And, you know, after all, people don't value cinnamon rolls like they used to. People go off to the grocery store and they go buy frozen cinnamon rolls, and that's just not the same. So, since I found the file on I like cinnamon rolls and I've always wanted to know how to make them, I think maybe that's what I should spend my time on.

I can see. I know I'm being a little bit ridiculous, but I could see where that could happen. Like, I'm opening up my drawer. Wait, let me get my nerd glasses. Okay, I'm opening up my drawer. Where's my file on, uh, what do I want to do in life? Where is my file on, on what career do I want to have? Oh, well, I'm looking through my files here. Let me see. Um, nope, nope, nope. I don't see it anywhere. Well, I found this file on, um, on, on horses. Well, now that's interesting. I should maybe, I just need to put these other files away and let's revisit this file on owning a horse. I can see where somebody might be inclined to do that. I think something else that might happen is where's my file on what do I want to do in life? Where's my file on what, what, what, what career do I want to have? And, oh, you know, I don't, I can't seem to find my file, but you know, when I look over here at Marty's files.

um, Marty seems to have some pretty strong files over here that make a lot of sense. You know, maybe if I just borrow Marty's file. Yeah, I'll just reach over here into Marty's desk. And Marty's got some pretty strong opinions, or Sandy's got some pretty strong opinions about what should be done in life and what's the right way to do things in life and what kind of careers make sense. And since I can't really find my file, you know, I think this file is fine. I'll just become what Marty thinks I should become. I'll just become what Sandy thinks that, or Mom, how about that, or Dad. I can't seem to find the file about what I want to do in life, but Dad gave me his file about what I should do in life, and that seems good to me. That seems like that makes a lot of sense. And you know, I'm getting tired of digging around through my filing cabinet and not finding anything. So, all right, Dad, what is it you want me

to do in life, okay, work at the auto parts store with Uncle Billy. Okay, well, I think I'm supposed to work at the auto parts store with Uncle Billy, and sometimes nines end up, you know, kind of doing really great at living a life that they didn't necessarily have a lot of input in designing. And, you know, there's this saying, right, that the foot doesn't hurt when it goes to sleep. What hurts is when the foot wakes up. That's what's painful. And I think the endogram is a really good tool at waking us up because we don't realize how asleep we are, all of us. Our personality takes over, our personality's in control, and then one day we kind of wake up. You watch a video like this, and you're like, Wow, I'm doing that. I've gotten kind of slothy. I'm cutting kind of lazy to my own voice, into my own files, into my own opinions. It, oh no, how is it that I became a physical

therapist because all my brothers and sisters and my mom's a physical therapist who decided this for me. Did I go off, you know, uh, out into a field and sit on a rock and look through my filing cabinet, you know, what do I want to do with my life? I'm 20 years old, and I could become anything, and uh, yeah, I found this file on what do I want to do in life, and I feel very passionately and strong about that. It doesn't, it sounds like a lot of nines, like don't have that experience. Uh, if you did, fantastic, maybe this video isn't talking about you, that's great, but it seems like a lot of nines. It's more like, I don't know, I went out in the field, and I tried to open my files and sort through them. I found some files on cinnamon rolls, I found some files on horse ownership, I found some files on best beaches in America, but I couldn't seem to locate the file on who I want to be, what do I want to do.

what the plan is for my life. So, I asked Dad, and you know, Dad kind of handed me his file, and you know, that made a lot of sense, and it was worded rather strongly. So, I'm just kind of living the file I found. Um, then when you wake up to that, to this reality that everybody's not like this, this is me. When you wake up to that, that's painful. The falling to sleep isn't so painful, but the standing up and, you know, banging your foot on the ground, those pins and needles, wow, that's painful. And it can be a painful thing when nines kind of wake up to this reality that I think I'm missing a few files or I'm having trouble accessing those files. Sometimes when I think about nines, I think about, um, I think about wagons. Okay, so you know a wagon, um, you can attach a wagon to any tractor. Okay, so you take this wagon and you attach it to a red tractor, and then tomorrow you attach the wagon to a green tractor.

and the next day, you attach the wagon to a brown tractor. Okay, that wagon went all over the place. Wow, look at that wagon go. Look at that wagon just, you know, ripping over the countryside behind the red tractor. And the next day, it's ripping over the other countryside behind the green tractor. Look at that wagon. It's got a lot of miles on it. It's learned a lot of lessons. It's accomplished a lot. But then when you unhook the wagon, what does it do? It doesn't know what to do. It kind of sits there like, What am I supposed to do now? Now, sometimes nines, it's kind of like watching that wagon. Like, they get in a group with a bunch of red business people. Okay, let's say the business people are the red tractors. And these business people, man, they're reading books on, you know, how to thrive. And you can hear my Kentucky accent, how to thrive. They're reading books on how to thrive. They're reading books on, you know, how to

make sales and how to negotiate to win and to put your best self first, best self forward, and how to win friends and influence people. And I'm looking at myself up there of John Maxwell books, winning with people. Are you ready for your life to change? Okay, today matters. So nines might move into that business realm and be surrounded by a bunch of threes, maybe some eights, maybe one or two sevens that you know are very disciplined, and some ones. And so the nine is right in there, got their wagon hitched to all those successful business people, and they're going to conferences, and they're going to seminars, and they're talking about corporate holdings. I don't even know what that is. And they're talking about bottom lines, and they're talking about implementing new structures for realized efficiency. I don't even know, okay? So they're into this world, and they're just killing it, you know, driven, focused. And then what happens, right?

and then all the threes go home at night, and they take all of their work with them, and the nine goes home at night and goes home at night, and they're done, and they're exhausted, and they want to watch television, and they want to take a dog for a walk. All those business folks, they're still driven, they've got files down there that say win-win-win achievements. You know, we've got to crush these goals, we've got to dominate our field, we've gotta excel beyond every other. And the nine is like, Yeah, I don't have those files, but you know what? I really enjoy looking off of your files. I really do benefit from reading your guys's files. Yeah, win-win-win, I believe that. Yeah, oh yeah, um, today matters, yeah, I believe that. Uh, negotiate for prosperity, oh yeah, that's great stuff, I believe that 100. In fact, I'll make this the mission for my life. Thank you for handing me this mission for my life. This looks like a great mission.

For my life, I didn't have to find my files because they handed them to me, and they're doing really good. So, I guess I want to be like them. I guess I want to do what they're doing. I'll hitch my wagon to the red tractor. But then what happens, um, when you quit that job, or when you know, you, you, when those guys all go away, when those people all go away, the nine might be sitting there like, Yeah, I just don't, I don't know. I'm not feeling it. I just, because when the tractor's gone, what's the wagon doing? Uh, yeah, I don't know. I just, I just don't seem to have that same driveness, that same dedication. I guess I'm a bad employee. I guess I'm just not motivated. I guess I just don't have the determination or the hunger that those guys have. Something must be wrong with me. But you know, if I don't pay attention to this, maybe it'll just go away. Maybe it'll just fade away if I don't pay attention to it, if I just

ignore it and you know maybe I just need to uh you know focus my attention somewhere else and uh you know these these uh these cinnamon rolls aren't gonna bake themselves now then take that wagon and let's say you hitch it to um a green tractor and let's say the green tractors are a bunch of fun-loving extroverts who just want to have a great time yeah we're going to go Rocky Mountain backpacking and then we're going to go kayaking and then we're going to uh ride the river man it's going to be awesome we're going to go on a three-month safari around the country we're going to go to Glacier National Park we're going to go to Yellowstone we're going to go we're going to drive the Pacific Coast Highway we're going to get it we're going to get a a van and we're going to sell tacos out of the van it's going to be awesome man you should go with this you should you

It's going to be so much fun, man. You should go with this. It's going to be awesome. And the 9 says, Yeah, that sounds great. I think I'll do that. I'm gonna attach my wagon to the green tractor, and I'm gonna go see the world, man. This is what I wanna do. I wanna go see the world. I wanna sell tacos out of a van. I wanna go to Yellowstone, man. This is so cool. I'm learning all kinds of things about First Nation Native Americans and what life was like before settlers came. This is great, man. I'm really loving this. But what happens when the green tractor rolls on, un-hitches the wagon? Then where does the wagon go? And a lot of 9s seem like they have this experience, like they're okay, everything's fine, and there's no problems as long as they're attached to a very strong wagon or tractor. And so they hook their wagon to a tractor, and then, Well, now I know why I'm here. I'm here to be pulled behind this tractor, and...

you know, load whatever you need into me because I'm fine. Just load me up, and I'm cool. I'm just hooked up to this tractor, and I'm going places. But then what happens when there's a divorce? What happens when the company says, I'm sorry, Ned, but, um, you know, we're overstaffed and coveted, and we're gonna have to let a few people go. And then that nine finds themselves unemployed, and now they're unemployed, and now they're not surrounded by the seminar gang, you know, that's going to accomplish great stuff. When they're not surrounded by that, their wagon isn't hooked to the red tractor anymore, or the special person in their life that has supplied them with their files, um, no longer is supplying them with their files. And so they're not connected to the brown tractor or the green tractor. They're just a wagon. Oh no, what do I do now? I don't have somebody's files that I can access to find out what I want to do, so I don't know what to do. And then

I get the appointment, you know, okay, Dr. Tom. Um, I'm just stuck. I just, I'm having problems getting motivated. I've been off of work for six months. I was dating a girl for, uh, for six years, and I loved her and her kids. And then, you know, something happened in the relationship, and I just, I began to withdraw. And um, I just wasn't happy. I mean, I just wasn't content anymore, but I didn't know what to do. And so, I sort of sabotaged the relationship, and eventually, she broke up with me. And even after she broke up with me, I tried really hard to get back with her. I don't know why I tried to get back with her, because I really, it wasn't, we weren't very good together. But it was just painful, like breaking up and being on my own. I was really afraid of being on my own. So, I decided, you know, I need to try to get back with her. So, I did everything I could to get back with her. We got back together for six weeks.

but then eventually that didn't work, and now I'm back home, and I'm just, you know, I'm just sitting on the couch, I'm playing video games, and, um, you know, I'm eating cinnamon rolls, and, uh, I, uh, petting horses, and I, I just don't, I just can't get motivated. Like, I just, I, you know, I've, I've cleaned my office, I've cleaned my room, and, um, I, I even got out a to-do list. I got out a to-do list, and you know, I wrote down, um, I wrote, let me get my glasses on. I got out my to-do list, and I wrote down all the things that need to be done around here, and you know, I need to, uh, I need to rewrite my resume, and I need to contact Fred because Fred has a lot of contacts, and I need to get back on LinkedIn, and I need to, but you know, I, I don't know, I just look at this list, and I don't know where to start, and maybe it's too late to start.

and honestly, I'm just, I don't know, I'm just, I don't have it in me. I'm just, I just don't even care now. Wait a minute. Remember when you were attached to those red wagons and you were going to the seminars, and you, or were you, had that big file, that big folder on like how to be a wonderful corporate executive. Wasn't that, wasn't that your identity? Wasn't that who you were? What happened to that? Oh, all those people went away, and now I'm just sitting here by myself like a, like a wagon waiting for, I don't know, I guess somebody to come along that I can hook my wagon onto, and then figure out who I am and what I want to do in life. Um, I'm just trying to imagine, I'm just trying to understand, you know, what this conundrum must feel like. Um, and I have all the sympathy in the world for this situation because I do talk to a lot of nines that, in a sense, describe their, their

predicament like this. Like, I can't find my file on who I am and what I want to do in life. Uh, but you know, um, there are a lot of trinkets and knickknacks on top of this filing cabinet that need to be dusted. So, I think I'll just focus my energy on that. Let me just dust the filing cabinet. Let me get out my Windex and my rag, and I'm going to clean the... That's what I need to do anyways, rather than accessing the file on all those difficult questions and all those hard things. I need to just organize. I need to organize my files. That's what I need to do. I need to clean all the knickknacks, you know, the little soldiers that are sitting up here, and the little pyramid that I got when I went to Mexico, and you know, the little picture of Mom. I need to dust my filing cabinet, and then once I get done dusting.

my filing cabinet. Then I need to organize my files and put them in alphabetical order. I think that's probably why I came to the filing cabinet anyway. And so you know, you get this nine who's should be figuring out who they are, what do they want to do in life, what are they passionate about, what do they like, what do they not like, what will they accept, what won't they accept, what kind of job they want to do and why they want to do it instead. You know, they're dusting the filing cabinet, they're playing Xbox, they're watching Netflix, they are um doing anything other than what needs to be done. And you know when you're in the doing group, eights, nines, and ones, but you're in the center of the doing group, which means you're cut off from your center. What do you do when you what do you do when you don't know what to do? You do other things that don't really focus your attention on what you need to be doing. You distract yourself from doing what needs to be done.

by doing other things, you distract yourself from doing what needs to be done. By doing other things, and so nines can be very busy, um, very, very busy doing stuff, but is it the right stuff? Before you do stuff, well, make sure you're doing the right stuff, or before you do stuff right, make sure you're doing the right stuff, okay? Doing the right things. Now, one thing, one word of hope for nines, okay? Because you're probably watching this video like, Okay, you've summarized the problem, now help me, help me, help me, tell me what to do, okay, give me your file, tell me what to do. Do you see yourself doing it? Okay, here's something to consider. My experience is nines are as highly motivated as any other type. You are motivated, oh yeah, you're very motivated. You're just maybe not motivated. Your motivation looks different than the threes, the eights, the ones, the sixes, okay? And I'm not saying that fours and fives aren't motivated. They're very motivated too. All of us are extremely motivated. You

need to understand that your motivation looks a little different than the people that you're working with as a nine. Now, you can hate yourself for that, and you can poo-poo yourself, Then I wish I had their motivation. Look how driven, successful, and powerful. Okay, you can despise yourself because your motivation is different, or you could learn to appreciate your motivations, your impulses, your compulsions, and then leverage those to be very successful, productive in your own right. Or you can just pick up their motivations, which you can do as a nine. You can merge with other tractors, and you can hook your wagon up and sort of follow their coattails. You can do that, merge, fuse with them, and sort of adopt their motivations, but that's not really you. That's not really your motivation. I think the motivation of the nine is toward peace, harmony, comfort, and tranquility. I think one of the reasons why it's hard for you to find your files is they're going to disrupt your peace.

and harmony for say for example what if you pulled out a file that said I want to be a pastor. And let's say that's your file and you finally find it. There it is hidden under all of those other files and all those trinkets that you got on vacation. There's the file on what I want to do in life. I want to be a pastor. Okay well you know what people might have a problem with this when you go home and you say you know I think I found out what I want to do in life. I want to be a pastor. Um what if people say well that's not you know that's not going to work for us or we're not going to pay for that. That's a waste of your time. You're never going to make a living at that. You're never going to make money at that. What if that causes problems for people or what if that seems selfish and too self-centered and too self-focused and so there might be even internal strife against saying out loud I have a right to decide for

myself what I want to do in life. That feels too self-involved, and so even within you, you've got this pushback against saying out loud what I want to do with my life. And what if people, what if that's not convenient for mom? What if she doesn't, what if she doesn't agree with my decision? What if she, you know, belongs to a different church and she doesn't respect the fact that I want to be a Baptist minister or a Methodist minister because she's something else? And she's, so I think it can be hard for nines, you know, to your part of your motivation is I want to get along with people. I don't want to be a problem. I don't want to like deal with people's problems. I don't want to become a problem for others. I don't want people to be upset with me. I don't want to cause wakes. I want to, I want to make the water smooth. I want to harmonize. I want to bring comfort to

this world I want to bring peace, and you know when you get motivated and driven and focused, that's going to disturb my peace. It's going to disturb other people's peace. It's going to cause a lot of wakes. It's going to rock people's boats, and I'm not about that. I'm not about rocking boats. I'm about calm waters and still waters. [Music] Um, okay, and that's fine. Let's let that become the motivation for our life. If that's true that that's your motivation, then let's let, let's see what that would look like if that motivated us toward action. Let me say it like this: when you look out into this world, do you see peace and harmony and comfort and tranquility? Yeah, you do some places, you know, healthy families, healthy communities where people love each other and everybody's getting along and taking care of one another. But oh my goodness, there's plenty, there's plenty of chaos in this world, and you don't have to look very far to find it.

In fact, some people's hearts are filled with chaos. Some people's lives, they just create chaos. Their families are disturbed, disgruntled, frustrated, irritated, and there's disagreements, and everything's awkward, and the relationships are not well. And there's whole businesses like that, there's school systems that way, universities, hospitals, police departments. There are companies that are just dysfunctional, where people don't listen to each other, they don't harmonize with each other. Everybody's in it for themselves, everybody's highly motivated and driven to self-actualize. Now, if you're a nine, you've got a mission field, that's where you belong. If you are a healthy nine, then you need to be going toward that chaos. Think of yourself as more like a rescue worker or like a therapist or a counselor. Now, when you're overwhelmed and you don't know why you're here, and you're just beating yourself up because you're not driven like all those people are, it's going to be hard for you to find the energy.

to go out into this world and shine your light because you're just beating yourself up. Then I don't know what's wrong with me. But when your motivation is comfort, peace, tranquility, harmony, okay, go bring that into the world. Go find where there's disharmony. Go find where there's conflict. Go find where there's chaos. Oh Dr. Tom, I don't have the energy to face that. Okay, what if you did? What if you did have the energy? What if you did have the confidence to just go right into where the conflict is? What would you want to do? Well, the first thing you want to do is get away from it. It probably just, I gotta back out of here. This is terrible. This is awful. These people don't care about each other. They don't get along. Okay, that's your impulse to get away from it. But what if you were there to bring healing to it? What if you were there to harmonize this group? What if you use your motivation to make a difference, make an impact?

let what I'm saying is let them become the salesperson of the year. Look, their motivation is to prove their worth and value by everything they achieve. So let them do that. Don't feel like you need that motivation for you. That's not what motivates you. You're not motivated by proving your worth and value by everything you accomplish. Some people are motivated by making sure everybody knows that I'm in control and not them. That's not your motivation. So let the eights do what eights do. Applaud their hard work and their dedication. Or the ones I see things that are not right and I correct them and I make them right. I'm a good boy. I take things that aren't right. I make them right. I manage and organize things great as a nine. Applaud that. We need those people to be doing those things, but we also desperately, desperately need nines who are healthy, who will join the team and turn us into a team, make us into a team. Because right now, every man for himself, everybody's doing for themselves. What's

best for themselves. They're all working and positioning themselves, you know, for their own advancement and for their own betterment. We need a healthy nine to join this team and say, Guys, guys, guys, hey, hey, hey, slow down, slow down. Look, if you don't take a break, you're all gonna end up broken. And if you're not more, you know, observing to life, um, you know, you're wrestling with life, you're fighting with life. Let's slow down for a minute and let's just talk, let's just get to know each other, let's just take a second and let's just harmonize with each other. Because every good team needs harmony, every good team needs to learn how to work together, needs to learn how to get along with each other. But I don't want to slow down long enough to understand your point of view, and you don't want to slow down long enough to understand my point of view. So we need nines, can you see this? We need nines in this world to slow us down, listen to each other, get on the same

page and learn how to work together. Let that motivate you like I could bring that into the world. Yes, yes, you can bring that into the world, and we will all be more successful when we bring in a little bit of this nine definition of success: living in harmony with the world, living in harmony with each other, living in harmony with the world. We all need that. We don't know we need it, but you know we need it. So, what could you do today to bring some harmony into the chaos, into the conflict? Now, if you decide you're gonna do this job, you're gonna need both wings. You're gonna have to lean into that one and okay, I need to get my to-do list out, and I need to be focused on getting done what needs to be done. I can't put it off. And you're gonna need that eight wing. Alright, there's gonna be times when I get some pushback when I start speaking up in meetings, and I say, Marty, Marty, hold on, Marty, now.

Hang on, we've already heard your side. Let's listen to Jill. That's going to take a little bit of that eight courage, boldness, strength, empowerment for you to speak up like that and to slow people's role, slow them down for a minute and say, Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, ho, ho, ho, ho. We've already heard your side. Now, Marty, you need to listen to Jill. Go ahead, Jill. Now watch, that's nine values that everybody ought to be heard, that everybody ought to be listened to, that everybody ought to be able to contribute, and that we ought to work together and have harmony and work like a team. That's not necessarily the values of every other type, so we need your voice. Join the group, speak up, bring peace and comfort into your family, bring peace and comfort and harmony into your place of work, into your church environment. When there's strife, your impulse is to get out. What if you could stay? What if you could withstand it? What if you could bend like a palm tree and then when all that subsides to come

back up, look people in the eye and say, Now wait, hold on, slow down guys, now we need to talk this out. I think you might find I do have a file after all. I do have a file, and it's to bring peace, harmony, comfort, tranquility into this chaotic, broken, dysfunctional, messed-up world. Now, how do I know? I want to know what I want to do in life. Um, well, whatever job you take, um, is kind of secondary to that purpose that you fulfill in bringing harmony to the world. Okay, I hope it makes sense. I think I'm right, um, as always. I certainly appreciate your all's input and your comments. All right, guys, be present to life. Um, and when I say be present to life, nines, um, let's go dig around that file cabinet and let's go once again out there to that rock out in the middle of the forest and let's try to listen to ourselves. And I know everybody else's files are very impressive and very strongly worded. I know

everybody's voice, other voices are very strong, but what's your voice saying? What are you hearing from inside? Up, turn off the phone, turn off Netflix, turn off YouTube. You know the dog could be walked later. You don't need to make the cinnamon rolls right now. I want you to sit out in the woods, there in the sunlight, on the front porch, whatever, and I want you to just listen to your own voice for 20-30 minutes. Well, what if I hear stuff that disturbs my peace? Good, good, that's fine. Maybe your peace needs to be disturbed a little bit so that you can bring peace into this broken world. All right, guys, thank you. Be present to life.

Enneagram: The 9's Missing Files

Dr. Tom LaHue

Understanding Type Nines and Their "Missing Files"

Type Nines often feel like they have missing files in their mental "filing cabinet," struggling to access information about their desires and goals in life.

While others seem driven and focused, Nines may find it challenging to gather and sort through their own experiences to determine what they want.

Tom Lehu, who has a deep appreciation for Nines, offers coaching and certificate programs for those interested in becoming an Enneagram coach.

The speaker reflects on their difficulty in finding personal goals and life direction, contrasting their experience with that of others, like Ned and Sandy, who are passionate and driven.

They use the metaphor of a filing cabinet to illustrate the struggle of accessing important life files.

In the absence of their own files, the speaker considers focusing on unrelated tasks, like making cinnamon rolls or owning a horse, as a way to fill the void.

The narrator reflects on the influence of others in shaping their life choices, often borrowing "files" of opinions from figures like Marty, Sandy, and Dad.

They express frustration in not being able to find their own file on what they truly want to do in life.

The metaphor of a wagon, attached to different tractors, illustrates the struggle of nines in finding their direction and purpose when unhooked from external influences.

The Journey of a Type Nine: Finding Purpose and Direction

Type Nines often find themselves in the company of driven and successful individuals, seeking to emulate their success.

They may struggle with motivation and determination when not anchored to a strong influence.

Nines may also seek adventure and fun, but can feel lost and directionless when their source of inspiration moves on.

The Struggles of Finding Identity and Motivation

The speaker reflects on the challenges of losing connection and direction after a divorce and job loss.

They describe a period of unemployment and withdrawal, struggling to find motivation and purpose.

Despite making a to-do list and trying to get back on track, they feel stuck and overwhelmed, ultimately focusing on organizing their surroundings instead of confronting their deeper issues.

The Struggles and Motivation of Type Nines

Type Nines often struggle with finding their direction in life, leading to distractions and busyness with unimportant tasks.

Their motivation for peace, harmony, and comfort can make it difficult for them to assert their own desires and goals.

Nines have the ability to merge with others' motivations, but it's important for them to appreciate their unique approach to motivation and find their own path to success.

The Role of Healthy Nines in Creating Harmony

Healthy nines are motivated by peace and tranquility, and they have a crucial role in addressing chaos and disharmony in the world.

Instead of seeking self-actualization, they can use their energy to bring healing and harmony to dysfunctional situations.

Nines are essential for fostering teamwork, understanding, and collaboration, helping to create a more harmonious and supportive environment.

Living in harmony with ourselves and others is essential for success.

To achieve this, we need to balance focus and boldness, speaking up for others and promoting teamwork.

Taking time to listen to our own voice and reflecting on our purpose can help us bring peace and harmony into the chaotic world.