International Marriage: Beauty Standards and Personal Regrets

Japanese women often appear more attractive than Korean women, challenging common beauty perceptions.

### The Illusion of Beauty and Marriage: A Personal Journey
* ✈ After living in Korea and dating only Korean women, a recent trip to Japan opened my eyes to the **beauty of Japanese women**, who often have **more appealing proportions and style**, leading me to question the **perception of beauty** in my own country.
* 👗 "Even average-looking Japanese women tend to be beautiful," which made me realize that the belief in **Korean women's superiority in beauty** might be **misleading**.
* 💔 Reflecting on my own marriage, I feel regret for **hastily marrying someone based on societal pressures rather than love**, leading to an **unhappy life filled with mental stress and unrealistic expectations**.
* 👨 My experience of marrying someone with a decent background but lacking genuine affection has made me question the foundation of many marriages, which often stem from **conditions rather than love**.
* 💼 The pursuit of marrying a professional often leads to loneliness, as the focus on **financial stability** overshadows the importance of **emotional connection** in a relationship.
* 🏠 Attending a wedding recently reminded me of what could have been if I had pursued a relationship based on **mutual respect and shared experiences** rather than societal expectations.
* 🌍 The culture surrounding international marriages offers different perspectives on relationships, emphasizing the **importance of companionship and shared responsibilities**, which I now see as **crucial for happiness**.
* 🌅 As I reflect on my past choices, I urge others to recognize the **value of love and emotional connection** over societal pressures, before it's **too late to change their paths**.

International marriage, speaking of which, honestly, I was just living in Korea, saving money and only dating Korean women. Recently, I went on a trip to Japan, and I realized how naive I was. There are many comments saying that Korean women are beautiful, especially in Asia, and I believed that too. However, after seeing Japanese women, I noticed that their proportions and looks are consistently attractive. Even those who are average still tend to be beautiful. This is not an exaggeration; I genuinely wondered why their heads are so small—could they be of a different ethnic group? 

Moreover, I noticed that even the girls who don't wear luxury brands but rather casual fashion have great style. While wandering around Japan, I realized that, on average, Japanese women are more attractive than Korean women. So, I wonder who spread the idea that Korean women are the most beautiful.

They did it. Out of ten, it's about seven. Please, I ask you. Hello, I am Bulkwang. Why did I say we should avoid stop lurkers? The biggest reason is that they are people who feel pressured. Just the existence of a five-year promise with a ten-year commitment or a seven-year relationship can cause immense mental stress for men. This is something that cannot be expressed in words, especially for men living in a generationally stagnant environment, where the stress is even greater. However, today, I am not here to talk about that. There are other reasons, in addition to the reasons for avoiding stop lurkers. What could those reasons be? People who are not loved have a very high chance of living an unhappy life. Those who got married without love, just looking at conditions, or those who were in love but are under the illusion that they are the only ones loving, so the other person...

This is a story about cases where love is absent. I regret my hurried marriage, which I entered with blurry eyes. I have been married for almost ten years and have one child. I had long and short relationships with ten different people before I met my current spouse through a blind date. At that time, I was 30 years old, and I felt a psychological pressure to get married before that age. I made the decision to marry someone with a good educational background, a decent job, acceptable looks, and an average personality. 

Look at this: such unhappiness stems from the belief that one must get married before turning 30, focusing on education, looks, job, and personality, and hastily getting married after a brief meeting. Can a marriage like that be happy? It is impossible. The notion that marriage should be based on love completely overturns that common belief. Only in that country do people rush into marriage like this. In other countries, people would find it hard to understand such a situation where love is absent.

Why do people get married? My friends kept saying that I was too good for marriage. There were significant differences in family support, household atmosphere, and hygiene standards. You know what’s frustrating? We look at appearances, educational backgrounds, jobs, and all that, but because of differences in money, friends start pointing fingers, and I'm stuck with a husband who doesn't measure up, right? So, are they perfect? No, if they were perfect, they wouldn't have married that man. And just looking at their mental state, it's clearly not normal. What do you mean by saying they are normally married? In that country, this is considered a typical marriage, and they are completely oblivious. You all live like this, and that's why you hear the term 'pompous man.' Stop spouting nonsense and face the man in front of you quickly. He may look okay, but he wasn't my type.

If I had only thought about dating, I wouldn't have met anyone. It seems that there are separate categories for dating and marriage, and this reflects the unique culture of that country. Marriage is reality, and this statement is the truth. I've done well with financial management and made some money, but my partner has no interest in financial planning. Honestly, I don’t want to engage in a lifestyle like that, but I feel forced to. My partner shows clear signs of liking me, and when we go to gatherings, my appearance stands out. However, my partner has let themselves go and has gained a lot of weight, while I haven't changed in weight since before marriage. Friends who have carefully chosen their partners feel they have achieved what they wanted, whether it's looks, personality, or abilities; they haven't compromised on their standards. There are also those who can't marry because their standards are too high. This leads to a significant misconception among those from that country, doesn't it? They should lower their standards to get married.

Some people say that those with high standards are still not married, which is nonsense. To be precise, nowadays, men are not getting married. I also had someone I really connected with during my dating life, but we couldn't continue because of our religious differences. This means that the person I truly loved didn't make any compromises for me; they didn't respect my religion. Their beliefs and religion were important to them, and yet they complain. It's a case of hypocrisy. The partner I met to marry, whom I once truly loved, was not someone I actually loved. I was just self-suggesting that I loved them. I feel like that person is not the same anymore, and my feelings have changed compared to before, which makes me regretful and troubled. There are people like me; how should I live? Just think about it: what kind of men would marry someone like this?

Can you be happy? It's nonsense. If I were unhappy, I would still be unhappy, but even if I earn money and put in the effort, I wouldn't feel any love. It's because the other person thinks of me in that way. I married because of the child; I lowered my standards to get married. That's the kind of thought process we're dealing with. 

And look at the next story. It's about marrying a professional. After the divorce, there's regret, and when I see the career path, it's another teacher. It's not the same person from earlier; it's someone else. When it comes to talking about wives, they dream of marrying a professional who is tall and comes from a well-off family. I didn't have a particularly good family background, and I have a strong tendency toward stability. Above all, I was captivated by the gaslighting that said women are scarce and men line up for them. It seems like those thoughts were somewhat intertwined, and I tried to work hard to fit in. Did you see that?

What is the secret of the profession? There’s a rumor that certain jobs lead to a good marriage, which makes them quite popular. So, many people choose those professions, and doesn’t that create a kind of competition? And what is it for? It’s to meet professional men. I’m not particularly smart to the point of becoming a professional myself. So, one of the easier options I chose was to become a teacher. While I enjoyed dating in college, I never thought any of those relationships would lead to marriage. I never considered marrying another teacher anyway; once I got my degree, I was seriously thinking about dating high-income professional men. I mentioned that the beginning of all couples' unhappiness often stems from conditions. I loved, but those men thought they were on my level and ended up breaking up with me. From the start, I aimed to meet only professional men with that kind of job.

You chose, didn't you? But can you really be happy with that kind of life? Is it even possible? It's only being maintained by money, and it could collapse at any moment; isn't that an unusual state? I got married in my late twenties, and a teacher at the same school found out that I was single and introduced me to someone they knew. He was a professional man, but I didn't decide to marry him just because of that. In fact, I wasn't particularly attractive, so I never thought that professional men would flock to me just because I was a teacher. I only had that hope. However, after meeting a few times, he also had feelings for me, and I thought that if he was a man of this caliber, I should grab the opportunity. So, we quietly and calmly prepared for the wedding, and that's how I ended up getting married. Even though I didn't love him, marriage... about this.

If I may say so, it hurts to speak about it. Isn't that the root of unhappiness? But now that I'm married, it's a battle against loneliness. My husband has a very busy job. To be honest, I didn't realize this before marriage. Since he earns a lot of money, I thought it was only natural for him to be busy. In fact, before marriage, I even found that admirable. He was the kind of man I respected and considered my ideal. However, once we got married and he became my person, I found myself spending lonely times without him when we should be together. So, what I'm saying is, I wanted to marry a wealthy man, someone who earns well, but I had no interest in how he makes that money or how he maintains his position. It's just that his absence next to me is incredibly frustrating, isn't it? I didn't expect it to be this way.

Did you think that making money off others is easy? That position doesn't just fall from the sky. It's not a place where you can just casually protect your family. And the next part is the most ridiculous. Last week, I attended a wedding of a junior colleague with my child. While I was there, I happened to see a senior who I had a sort of flirtation with during our study sessions in college. To be precise, I saw his family. He was being such a caring father to his child, showing consideration for his wife, and taking warm care of the child. At that time, I had distanced myself after passing the exam first, and I had no intention of marrying someone in the same field, so I let it slip away. But now, thinking back, I briefly wondered what it would have been like to live a life where I could share my time with a spouse in a similar situation, spending meaningful moments together. His wife seemed so...

It feels envious, but if you actually live that way, you might find yourself struggling with a tight salary and lingering feelings for a professional husband, not to mention the things you couldn't have, like owning a home in Seoul. It makes me think that perhaps it wasn't a good ending. This person's life seems to revolve around one main theme: materialism. And when that gets twisted in a strange way, it leads to the birth of such individuals. Even those who love each other dearly ultimately find that their professional status and the desire for a home in Seoul only add to their struggles. Despite this, they express regret about marriage, writing and complaining about their husbands here and there. I married someone like this, yet I am not satisfied with the money I earn, and instead of gratitude for love, I find myself resenting my husband.

You married someone who just peels pumpkin seeds, so how can you live happily? It's impossible, right? So what I want to say is that men have become smarter. A marriage without love means that people are getting older while insisting on avoiding a life of doing the dishes. They want someone to play with, saying, Come play with me. They feel bored. You see, in your twenties, that was the case. But looking at the comments, it seems no one is interested anymore. How was it in the past? People would ask, Where do you live? Where can I go? Can I go right now? There used to be a lot of these types of comments. But now men also know that if they go there, it will definitely go wrong. They think, Oh, if the atmosphere is good, it might even lead to a police station. So that person deleted their post because no one wanted to play with them. Men are angry because it doesn’t seem fair, and the better a man's capabilities are, the more they think about marriage.

If you look at the comments on the video titled Three Reasons Why Not, you will see that due to gender equality, men's rights are diminished while their responsibilities remain the same or even increase. Therefore, those who are capable are likely to regret the freedom they lose through marriage, so who would want to get married? The culture of boasting about giving a monthly allowance of 300,000 won to husbands in women-dominated cafes is proof that this country is going crazy. The very idea that a man receives an allowance is absurd, which is why many choose not to marry. There’s a saying: If protection continues, one thinks it's a right. No matter how high an earner a man is, if he ends up marrying someone strange, he could end up living a miserable life worse than that of a low-income person. Do you see these kinds of comments? Nowadays, men are not like before, serving as the fools who blindly check their partner’s love and family background the day before the college entrance exam.

I'm meeting women, and there's a story from someone who gained enlightenment. It's about a car company and international marriage. Honestly, after living only in Korea, I was saving money and thinking about whether to just meet Korean women. Recently, I traveled to Japan, and I realized how much of a depressed frog I had been. There were many comments about how Korean women are considered beautiful in Asia, and I believed that too. But after seeing Japanese women, I noticed they have smaller heads and better proportions. Even the average-looking ones are quite pretty. It's not an exaggeration. I wondered why their heads were so small; I thought they might be a different ethnicity. Moreover, they don't wear luxury brands, yet their fashion sense is good. While wandering around Japan, I realized that Japanese women are, on average, more beautiful than Korean women.

They say that someone spread the word, but who actually spread it? It was mostly the ministers who started it. The people from that country who say others spread it are the ones who are the most beautiful. You should be hit a bit for that. So what does this mean? Those who have been abroad know that I was living in a confined artistic area, ignoring the truths, and now I regret it. And it’s not just about having a pretty face or good style. The culture of preparing food is well developed abroad. Those who have international marriages know this, and those who are preparing for it know it too. You can have breakfast prepared by your wife here, right? However, if you are in the domestic sphere, you often can't have that. You can barely get breakfast, let alone dinner. Even if I am the sole breadwinner, it's like that.

In international marriages, the probability of certain outcomes increases, and it's not just that. In many countries, except for a few, if you are married, it is essential for the wife to prepare breakfast. Just think about it: why do you pay a lot of money for pizza when the food made by your wife is tastier? There's no need to spend money on takeout. However, the dining culture in some countries has developed because people don't cook at home; wives often go out to eat instead. But for those of you who marry internationally, you will now be able to enjoy home-cooked meals. You even saw earlier that it can be stylish! If you meet women from Japan or Southeast Asia, you might experience the miracle of your wife's features being passed down to your children. Why is it a miracle? Because, as you can see from those who have married, it's not just about the mother's current face; sometimes, the features from their middle school years can appear in the children.

Other countries tend to have less of a focus on the Holy Spirit. It's rare to find people whose faces look completely different from their middle school days, like mothers in our country. Do you realize how fortunate that is? Do you understand what a great opportunity this is? If you don’t, then go ahead and miss that great opportunity and see how it feels to regret it. By the time you regret it, it will already be too late. It’s time to wake up from the dream. Thank you for watching Red Sun.

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불광이

The Perception of Beauty and the Pressure of Marriage

The speaker, who lived in Korea, realized the naivety of believing Korean women were the most beautiful after seeing the consistently attractive Japanese women.

They discuss the mental stress men face from long-term relationship commitments and the unhappiness that can arise from marrying without love.

The speaker regrets their hurried marriage and emphasizes that the common belief of marrying before 30 and focusing on education and looks does not lead to true happiness.

People often face pressure and judgment from friends regarding their marriage decisions, leading to frustration and self-doubt.

Differences in family support, household atmosphere, and hygiene standards can create tension in relationships.

The struggle between high personal standards and the reality of finding a partner can lead to feelings of regret and confusion about love and commitment.

The Complexities of Marriage and Happiness

The speaker struggles with the idea of happiness, feeling that external factors and relationships dictate their emotional state.

They reflect on their own marriage, which was driven by the desire for stability and a child, and express regret over the choices made in pursuit of professional men.

The speaker questions the possibility of true happiness in a life maintained by money and reflects on the role of competition in choosing partners.

The speaker's husband is very busy due to his high-paying job, leading to feelings of loneliness and frustration.

Despite admiring his success before marriage, the speaker now struggles with his absence.

Attending a colleague's wedding, the speaker reflects on the envy of seeing a caring family dynamic and questions the impact of materialism on relationships and happiness.

Changing Perspectives on Marriage and Women

Men are becoming smarter about marriage, realizing that a life without love and responsibility is unappealing.

The shift in gender dynamics has led to men's rights being diminished while their responsibilities increase, causing capable men to regret the freedom lost through marriage.

The perception of women's beauty has also shifted, with some men finding Japanese women more attractive than Korean women during their travels.

Ministers were the main ones to spread the word about the benefits of international marriages.

Those who have lived abroad regret ignoring the importance of a well-developed food culture and home-cooked meals.

Marrying internationally increases the likelihood of enjoying home-cooked meals and passing down unique features to children, making it a great opportunity for those seeking a partner.