Hello, this is lawyer Byung-kyung Jo. The third part is about the matters of discussion for the welfare of children. I think this is the part that parents worry about and are most curious about when starting today. Before discussing the matters of discussion for the welfare of children, I would like to first mention that the adaptation of children can vary depending on how parents approach the lawsuit process. During the lawsuit, you may think that winning or losing is important, especially when it comes to matters related to your children. You may think that since it is a lawsuit, you must win and should never lose. However, when it comes to children's issues, you should approach it with the thought of how to resolve them well. Among those who are in the process of litigation, there are those who say they will do as the judge decides or consult with their lawyer.

However, the person who knows my children best is me and my spouse, in other words, the parents. In the context of the entire lawsuit, but especially when it comes to issues related to the children, it is important to remember that the parents, who are the parties involved, take the lead in problem-solving. It is crucial to first think about how you want to resolve this issue and what is the best way for the children, and then, above all, to communicate well with the other spouse. The first thing to discuss about the children is the designation of custody and visitation rights. First, let's look at the concepts of custody and visitation rights. Custody is the right and duty to manage a child's property and act on their behalf legally. Sometimes, parents misunderstand custody, saying it's absolutely not allowed or cannot be given. However, being a custodian does not necessarily mean being the child's father or mother, as indicated in the family relationship certificate, the expectation remains the same as being the child's parent.

Next, parental rights refer to the rights and responsibilities to actually take care of and nurture children while living with them. In simple terms, it can be said to be the concept of taking care of and nurturing children while living with them. Therefore, when designating a legal guardian and a caregiver, it is necessary to consider who can cancel the physical and psychological changes that children may feel, who can provide emotional stability to the children, who can be sensitive and appropriately responsive to the children's needs, and whether there are auxiliary caregivers who can help with parenting. It is necessary to comprehensively consider aspects such as the child's gender, age, residence changes, or the need for a telephone and discuss them. Before designating a legal guardian and caregiver, it is helpful to objectively assess the situation by writing down the positive points and areas of improvement that I and the other parent as a couple have as parents. Also, if legal guardianship and caregiving are designated separately, it is important to ensure communication between the legal guardian and

It is desirable to designate the actual caregiver as the legal guardian for the children, as they may encounter difficulties in school issues, medical treatment, obtaining passports, etc. Sometimes, there can be significant differences of opinion regarding legal guardianship and custody, and when there is no agreement on child support, there are cases where each parent wants to raise one child separately. However, separating the children could not only exacerbate the psychological difficulties of the children already struggling with their parents' divorce but also deprive them of the opportunity to form sibling bonds. Therefore, unless there are truly exceptional circumstances, it is advisable to avoid separate custody. Furthermore, some may rush to conclude the divorce proceedings from the idea that legal guardianship and custody can be changed later. However, it is difficult to consider such thinking as a choice that prioritizes the best interests of the children. For children who have just adapted to living with only one parent, whether it be the mother or the father, after the divorce.

Changing caregivers and the caregiving environment again worsens the child's difficulties. Therefore, instead of thinking about changing custody and visitation rights later, please consider and choose the best way for the child from the beginning. Once the custodian and caregiver are determined, the next step is to discuss visitation rights. Visitation negotiation rights are the rights of the parent who does not live with the child to regularly meet the child. It is the right of the parent to manage the child. It may be uncomfortable for some to meet their ex-spouse through visitation negotiation rights, but through visitation negotiation rights, children feel emotionally stable by knowing that they are connected to both parents and receiving the care and love of both parents even after the divorce. Therefore, from the child's perspective, visitation negotiation rights are not only the first step in adapting to their parents' divorce, but also a way for both parents to watch over the child's harmonious and healthy growth process.

This is a very important time to show cooperation and express continuous interest and affection. Therefore, it is desirable to decide on the interview negotiation rights concretely and systematically, considering the child's age and schedule. Alternatively, you can conduct interviews through methods such as video calls or emails. The reason why the interview investigation should be specific and planned is that both parents and children can prepare their minds for the interview negotiation rights, adjust their passions in advance, and reduce unnecessary conflicts. It is also necessary to decide in detail who will bring the child when, where, and how, and how to handle birthdays, holidays, and vacations during the interview. Once the interview negotiation is decided, it is advisable not to change it if possible, and if changes are necessary, it is necessary to contact the caregiver in advance to adjust the schedule. Many people think that a one-night two-day stay for interviews is common.

Interviews may vary depending on the child's age or situation. For example, for infants, it may be necessary for the parents to participate from the beginning, gradually increasing the duration and frequency of the interviews. Sometimes parents report that their child refuses to participate in the interview or even cries saying they don't want to meet the parents. However, once the interview starts, they often play well as if nothing happened. Therefore, if a child refuses to participate in the interview, it is necessary to first investigate the reason. For instance, if the parents show signs of depression before the interview or keep asking the child about the interview in detail, or if grandparents who live separately speak negatively about the parent being interviewed.

It is necessary to see if the parents are not present. In this case, children may express their loyalty to the caregiver parents through refusal in interview negotiations. Also, there are cases where parents do not keep the time they agreed to meet and end up arguing in front of their children. In such cases, we ask parents to have the flexibility to first acknowledge the other party's feelings. To align with the right to interview negotiations, parents may have been very busy preparing their young children since morning. How would the children feel waiting for parents they haven't seen in a long time? If you first consider how the traffic jam affected the parents' feelings, wouldn't the arguments in front of the children decrease? To facilitate smooth interview negotiations, the court produces and distributes parenting notebooks. If you don't have a parenting notebook, you can use a regular notebook.

The parenting notebook is written to share the daily life of children with the other parent who does not live with the children, so that they can know about the children's daily lives and share information about the children such as diseases or medication. Nowadays, many parents use social media, so using social media to share their children's daily lives can also serve the same purpose as a parenting notebook. If parents share their children's daily lives through videos or photos when their children give presentations or receive awards at school, the parent living separately can have a good understanding of the children's daily lives when they meet, allowing them to spend time with their children with richer stories. Also, rather than filling interviews or negotiations with special gifts or events, it is most important to think about doing basic parenting activities together without disrupting the daily flow of the children's lives. If you are still wondering how to conduct interviews,

I recommend searching for the Supreme Court Parents' website on portal sites like Naver or Daum and watching the interview videos. Once the custodian and the residential area are determined, the next step is to discuss child support. The payment of child support is the obligation of the parent raising the child, and it must be paid even in cases of divorce or separation. Child support serves as emotional support for the child and has the meaning of economic support. It is necessary to consistently and faithfully pay child support even after divorce to maintain the child's standard of living stably. Therefore, the parent living together is called the custodial parent or the primary caregiver, and the parent living separately is also called the supporting parent or the non-custodial parent, meaning the parent primarily responsible for raising the child and the parent assisting in raising the child.

Therefore, parents who live separately should consider that they are raising their children together through child support payments and prioritize child support payments. Child support should be discussed and agreed upon by both the custodial parent and the non-custodial parent, taking into account factors such as the children's ages, the number of children, and the parents' financial situation. It is advisable to specify the date, amount, and method of payment in detail. Regular monthly payments are recommended, and since child support is for the children, delaying or stopping child support payments will directly affect the children. In some cases, the custodial parent may use the lack of child support as a reason to block visitation rights, which could have severe consequences for the children. Therefore, visitation rights should not be blocked due to child support issues. Throughout this process, parental cooperation is a crucial factor in helping children adapt to the new situation.

Parents, in the process ahead, I hope you will seek a peaceful resolution through amicable agreements for the harmonious growth of your children. Prolonged and fierce legal battles can lead to ongoing conflicts even after the divorce. Therefore, parents who are still in the process of divorce should deeply reflect and consider how to resolve their children's issues amicably by referring to parenting books. Through parents' efforts and intimacy, children can quickly recover from the shock and trauma of divorce, aiding in their healthy emotional development. Furthermore, by being role models, parents can help children navigate interpersonal difficulties, reduce loyalty conflicts, and feelings of guilt. Moreover, it can minimize feelings of loss and rejection that children may experience from losing a parent.

If parents divorce, there may be changes in roles, psychological, or economic aspects, and preparation is needed. Therefore, even after divorce, the role as parents should continue. Please remember that the relationship as a couple ends after divorce, but the role as parents should persist. It would be great if you could become wonderful parents that children can rely on securely, while maintaining a cooperative relationship. Thank you for watching the parenting guidance educational videos so far.

재판상이혼 자녀양육안내 Part 3

재판상이혼 자녀양육안내 Part 3