(upbeat jazz music) - [Dexter] My name is Dexter, Dexter Morgan. I don't know what made me the way I am, but whatever it was left a hollow place inside. People fake a lot of human interactions, but I feel like I fake them all, and I fake them very well. (horn blaring) Ahoy! Ahoy there Captain, any big marlin out there today? And that's my burden, I guess. But I don't blame my foster parents for that. Harry and Doris Morgan did a wonderful job raising me. But they're both dead now. I didn't kill them, honest. - [Debra] Okay, Dex, please, as soon as you get in, um, I'm at a crime scene by the toll, the Seven Seas Motel, and I need you here. Okay? Dex, please. Pretty (censored) please with cheese on top. - [Dexter] That's my foul mouth foster sister, Debra.

She has a big heart, but won't let anyone see it. She's the only person in the world who loves me. I think that's nice. I don't have feelings about anything, but if I could have feelings at all, I'd have them for Deb. (upbeat music) - [Lawyer] Please state your name and occupation. - My name is Dexter Morgan, and I'm a forensic specialist in blood spatter analysis for the Miami Metro Police Department. - [Lawyer] And how long have you been doing blood spatter analysis, Mr. Morgan? - Almost 12 years. - [Lawyer] You've been involved in quite a few cases then? - 2,103. - [Lawyer] Give or take? - No. 2,103. - [Lawyer] Then it's safe to say blood is your life. - Safe to say? - Miami's full of good cops. A lot of them here today.

But no offense, I wouldn't want any of you hitting on my sister. Ricky was different. He was the kind of guy you hoped your sister would fall for. - [Dexter] Most people have a hard time dealing with death, but I'm not most people. It's the grief that makes me uncomfortable. Not because I'm a killer, really I just don't understand all that emotion, which makes it tough to fake. In those cases, shades come in handy. (low growling) I love Halloween, the one time of year when everyone wears a mask, not just me. (suspenseful music) People think it's fun to pretend you're a monster, me, I spend my life pretending I'm not. Brother, friend, boyfriend, all part of my costume collection. (upbeat music) Some people might call me a fraud. - Boo! - Ah! Oh you stabbed me in the back.

I prefer to think of myself as a master of disguise. (gentle music) I like to pretend I'm alone, completely alone, maybe post-apocalypse or plague, whatever, no one left to act normal for. No need to hide who I really am. It would be freeing. - Stop grinning like a (censored) psycho and get back to work. - Sorry, Sergeant. - I was really worried about you, you sure you're all right? I kept calling your house, but I think the number you gave me didn't work. - You wouldn't have reached me anyway, 'cause I was at my girlfriend's. I spent the night, face to face. - Sean, that's very good. - It's all good, doctor. I even stopped worrying about that friend of mine who's been outta touch. You can't control other people, you know? - This is a real breakthrough, you should be proud of yourself.

- I am proud. (Dexter chuckles) (Dexter sighs) Truth be told, I never expected to make progress in therapy. - That's not true. If that were true, you never would've come in here in the first place. (Dexter scoffs) (Emmett laughs) What do you wanna focus on today? - I'm glad you asked that. I'm gonna tell you something and I've never told anyone before. - Okay. - I'm a serial killer. Oh God. Oh, that feels so amazing to say out loud. - Well, you must be letting go, 'cause I've never heard you make a joke before. - I'm not joking, I kill people. Whew! There it is again. - You know, I don't think your girlfriend appreciates the gravity of the situation. If she loses that case, she could lose the kids. - That won't happen. - Never say won't.

We live in a world of wills. Wills and wonders, that's what I'm trying to teach my children. And they are my children too, something she seems to forget. Okay, so I made some mistakes, (suspenseful music) but I learned from it, right? Hey, I'm sober. Look, no needle marks, (light slapping) got the (censored) Alaskan pipeline running through these veins. And all because of those two little glow sticks I love in the next room. (suspenseful music) My heart beats for those two kids. So if you or that skinny (censored) try to screw with what's mine, I swear to God, I don't care who I have to hurt. (loud bang) (suspenseful music ends) (can clinking slowly) - [Dexter] Harry's first rule was don't get emotionally involved. I think this is why. - [Rita] Astor, go brush your teeth.

(suspenseful music) - Listen, Dexter, whatever you think is right is wrong. He asks you a question, I want you to think of your answer first and then tell him the exact opposite. Okay? - So let's just jump in, all right? Does it make you angry when your teachers tell you what to do? (suspenseful music) - No. - Are you often bored? (suspenseful music) - No. - Have you ever killed an animal? (suspenseful music) - No. Never. (upbeat music) - Kill one man and you're a murderer. Kill thousands, a conqueror. Kill them all and you're a God. Does this sound to you like our guy has a narcissistic personality disorder? A classic God complex? - I think you're onto something, Angel. To tell you the truth, I don't know what my alter ego had in mind when he wrote that crap. I just pulled from various blogs on the internet,

mixed and matched, presto manifesto. You said something before you passed out about my father. What was it? - I don't know. What was it? I was kind of drugged at the time. - Don't test me, Sergeant. I could have killed you. I didn't. - You didn't because you can't. I've had time to think about this, Morgan. I don't fit that code you were talking about, do I? (suspenseful music) At first, I thought the butcher only went after criminals because nobody gives a God damn what happens to them. But now, now I think you got a conscience. - Of course, I have a conscience. I left you a place to (censored), didn't I? And this is absolutely, without a doubt, the worst moment of my life. (gentle music) - Now let's go into a little freeform yoga. Just let yourself dance. - I was wrong, this is. - See the dust

dancing against the sunlight. (gentle music) Be as beautiful as the golden flakes of dust, Dexter. (gentle music) - I could probably kill her before anyone realized what happened. (gentle music) - Excellent. (light knocking) - Well enjoy your dinner. (paper bag crinkling) And tell Carlos I said howdy. (suspenseful music) It's not Freebo's blood. It's not even human, it's bovine, cow's blood. He's been using me (upbeat music) the whole time. I didn't create a monster, I was used by one. He used me. (upbeat music) (glass shattering) (Dexter yelling) Miguel! (upbeat music) - Nine holes tomorrow? (upbeat music ends) - You bet. (foot steps descending) (computer beeps) (upbeat music) Today I keep up the pretense. But soon, maybe tomorrow, Miguel will know exactly how I feel,

because finally there's an emotion I don't have to fake. Today I feel something real. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (grill sizzling) The backyard barbecue, it's a holdover from the last ice age when food was scarce and men had to work together to take down such a large beast. Those who worked well with others survived, and their genes have been passed down through the centuries until they landed here in this, my community. (upbeat music) (blender whirring) (upbeat music) - We have a little family tradition, Kyle, before we start, of saying what we're thankful for. I'll start. I'm thankful for this family. Pass your plates. Sally? - I'm... I'm thankful for this lovely home (cutlery clanging) and for my son, who I am so proud of. - Me too. - Is that all? - And for my beautiful daughter who is growing up so quickly. I am so blessed.

- I'm thankful that Mrs. Wilder gave us an extra two days to finish our report on Aeschylus. (softly laughs) And I'm also thankful for this nice home. - [Dexter] Is this what it takes to survive with him? - I'm thankful for this house too. And for God. - You know what I'm thankful for? My car. - I'm thankful for yams. - Yams? - Comfort food. I need to get home to Harrison. - Right. The other part of your life. - There is no other part to Lumen's life. This is all she has. (paper bag crinkling) Even so, I can't bring her into my world, there's no place for her. (suspenseful music) - Dexter. Thank you. - [Dexter] I feel like I'm dropping off my prom date, except this is my house and my wife is dead.

and I have no idea where Lumen fits into my world. And this is also weird. (gentle music) Exactly like my prom. (gentle music) (seagulls squawking) - At Our Lady of the Gulf, we like to create enough structure for our children so that they feel safe and enough freedom so that they feel challenged. - Okay. - Attendance in our preschool guarantees your child admission to our secondary school, which as I'm sure you know, is a highly esteemed feeder school to some of the finest Ivy League universities in the country. - Harvard, here we come. - And as I'm sure you know, we have a very rigorous admission process. Not everyone that applies to our Lady of the Gulf gets in. Mr. Morgan, you were referred to us by? - Angel Batista. - Uh, Sergeant Batista at the police station where we work, we being the people that protect you in case something bad happens.

- Sergeant Batista's daughter went here, and he recommended the school. - I remember Angel, his daughter, did very well here. So, you are Catholic as well, Mr. Morgan? - Actually, I'm not. And though it does have a certain appeal, I'm not sure it's right for everyone. (kids playing) - So, Protestant? - No. - Jewish? - No. - Muslim? - No. - Any religious affiliation? - No. - What do you believe in, Mr. Morgan? - Nothing. I don't believe in anything. (kids playing in the background) - Harrison really seemed to like it in there. He didn't wanna leave. - I think he just liked the cookies. - And he already made some friends. - Hmm. (kids playing) - You're not really sold on this place, are you? - Not completely. - Is it 'cause of the religious thing? - Partly. - What you said in there,

do you really believe that? You really believe in nothing? - You know, I suppose I believe in a certain set of principles. - What kind of principles? - Well, a set of rules on how to conduct myself in the world so that I don't get into trouble. - I'm not the most religious person in the world. Mom practically had to drag me to church. But seriously? - What? - A set of rules to follow so you don't get into trouble. Sounds like something I might teach a puppy. - Is that so bad? - Just sounds kind of cold and empty. - Does it? - Yeah. - I should at least go say hello. - Yep. ♪ You can't touch this ♪ (You Can't Touch This playing) (cheering) ♪ You can't touch this ♪ I need to find another way to get a drop of Joe's blood. (You Can't Touch This playing) ♪ You can't touch this ♪

♪ My, my, my, my ♪ ♪ Can't touch this ♪  
And I think I just found it. ♪ Makes me say, oh my Lord ♪  
- Come on, Dexter, it's Hammer Time.  
- Ah. - [Speaker] Woo! - [Dexter] I have no  
idea what Hammer Time is or how it differs from regular time. ♪ I told you, homeboy ♪ ♪ You can't touch this ♪ ♪ Yeah, that's how we  
livin', and you know ♪ ♪ You can't touch this ♪ ♪ Look in my eyes, man ♪ ♪ You can't touch this ♪ ♪ Yo, let me bust the funky lyrics ♪ (You Can't Touch This playing) ♪ Too hype, you can't touch this ♪ ♪ Yo, we're outta here ♪ ♪ You can't touch this ♪ - It's not you. It's LaGuerta. I should have never gotten  
involved with her to begin with.

- Never jumped the fence if you're not willing to face what's on the other side. - Where the (censored) did you hear that? - A friend said it to me in a moment of stress. - (censored) You don't have any friends. (drawers sliding open) This is the journal of that (censored) hooker killer, Walter Munro. I took it from his place a couple of weeks ago while serving a warrant. It's been locked up in my drawer ever since. Never jump the fence if you're not willing to face what's on the other side. (Dexter chuckles) - That's a weird coincidence. - Coincidences, I don't believe in them. - Anyway. I- - Something off about you, Morgan. I should have seen it before. The fake smile, the donuts. You don't even walk like a normal person, you glide like a lizard on ice.

It's all a (censored) act, and I ain't buying it. (Dexter chuckles) - I think you're overreacting. - You're hiding something, and one day I'm gonna figure out what it is. You are one creep (censored). (suspenseful music) (footsteps descending) - [Dexter] It was a mistake to try to act human in front of Doakes. All I did was reveal how fake I was. (upbeat music) (bell chiming)

Best Of Dexter Attempting To Be Normal 🫠

He's smart, he's good looking, and he's got a great sense of humor. He's Dexter Morgan, everyone's favorite serial killer. As a Miami forensics expert, he spends his days solving crimes, and nights committing them. But Dexter lives by a strict code of honor that is both his saving grace and lifelong burden. Torn between his deadly compulsion and his desire for true happiness, Dexter is a man in profound conflict with the world and himself. Golden Globe® winner Michael C. Hall stars in the hit Showtime Original Series.